The Rungs of Villainy are slippery and treacherous and no one learns that lesson better than:
the Unwitting Patsy.
The tragedy of the Patsy is that he thinks he's a player, when in fact he's a pawn. He thinks he's so much better than mere Faceless Fodder; he's got a name and the Boss even knows what it is. The Boss has to know your name, Patsy; how else can he laugh at your foolish loyalty to him when he hangs you out to dry? The Unwitting Patsy is little more than a human speedbump, a mere baby carriage rolled in front of the onrushing wheels of justice to slow them down. When your plan is to face off against the hero, your employ Faceless Fodder; when you plan is to flee, you use the Unwitting Patsy.
The last thing Patsy hears before, say, Hawkman's boot smashes into his face is... "Hold them off, Slanty, with your shaking gun hand, wide-eyed expression of terror, and recently soiled pantaloons, whilst I, on the strength of my half-page entry in the DC Encyclopedia, escape to my thematically decorated hideout in the abandoned warehouse district in the company of my actual henchman with whom I hold private conversations and who merit a dignified bowtie/bowler outfit!"
The Penguin, again, is our exemplar of abuse; Unwitting Patsies, like Innocent Dupes, are simply part of his daily predatorial diet. The Scarecrow, too, knows the value of Unwitting Patsies, and reminds us there's a special place in hell ... and prison ... for these foolish goons called "Da Loich".
And it ain't a place ya wanna get left in, bub.
Lurch? Lunch? Lights?
Is that even English?
Criminals are a cowardly and Brooklynesque lot.
Post a Comment