Saturday, June 17, 2023

I saw "The Flash"

 The movie, that is. On the whole, I enjoyed it.

Now, I enjoy a LOT of films. I am the only living person who enjoys "Wavelength" 

This one, I mean. The 1967 one. Not the one in 1983. Or the one in 2018.  Which, sadly, were not sequels.

My enjoying a film doesn't mean to imply that it's objectively good, or even that I think it's good. But they are certainly many good things about film. Ezra Miller --despite his personal failings and the rather annoying off-model version of Barry Allen he's portraying -- is a very experienced actor and during the serious emotional parts of the film, it really shows. As for the comedic parts--

how shall I put this?

Expert panel? Any help for me...?

Let's just say, although there are certainly funny bits and I laughed out loud several times, the attempts at humor were, on whole... misplaced.  Some not only fail to stick the landing, they failed even to take off enough to HAVE a landing.  I'm going to cheat and just blame Stupid Humor Attempts Based on Awkwardness in Superheroes on Marvel-aping.  Fair? Maybe not. But it does absolve me of expending any intellectual effort on why anyone in charge of a zillion dollar picture would think some of that stuff (especially Marty McThigh) was, you know, so amusing that it needed to be in a film about one of our culture's best known fictional heroes trying to replicate his most serious mistake to avoid the destruction of all reality.

But the Bat-Kite? THAT made me burst out laughing.  
Batman is funny. Batman has always been funny.
Flash is not funny. Flash has never been funny. And if you DON'T believe that, buy a Golden Age Flash Archive and see how many Jay Garrick stories you can stomach.

The plot was simple and easy to follow with nothing that seemed extraneous, which I appreciated.  I will wryly note that DC eliminated the multiverse in 1986 ostensibly because it was "too complicated" for readers.  However, just like Flash's, their attempt to rejigger their timeline backfired and resulted in more multiversing than ever, not just for the DCU, but for...everything. You can't make a Trix commercial nowadays without the Trix rabbit fighting his dark counterpart from another universe.

I mean... even the Bablyon 5 animated movie is multiversal madness.  
Silly Vorlons; multiverses are for kids.

The action was good, the BATMAN action was awesome. Truly.

Batman is SO awesome, in fact, that he casually explains all of time-travel, retrocausality, and the character of the multiverse in seconds using nothing but pasta. Because he's Batman.

I liked the special effects, no matter how many people bitch about "The CGI being terrible".  I've been watching movies for over 50 years and someone is ALWAYS bitching that The CGI Is Terrible (even when it was SFX and not CGI).  I thought the "chronobowl" was especially innovative and intuitive.  Oh, and to all those people bitching about "Miller's weird running style": shut up. You've obviously never skated or at least not WELL.  He's speed-skating through time/speed force. If you actually saw his little legs moving zippy-zip step-by-step it would look Road-Runner ridiculous.

Did I say "little legs"? I take that back.  At first I thought they'd overdone it a bit on Flash's suit being too faux-muscley. Then I noticed how Miller was straining at his civilian seams and then came Miller's (many) shirtless/(all-but-frontal) nude scenes and I recanted.  Gratefully. Jeez, he looks like he put on 35 pounds of muscle. Not sure how needed that is for The Flash per se but... well, it wasn't my least favorite part of the film.

Silly Ezra; twinks are for kids.

The cameo parts, well, yes, they were a bit cheesy but they weren't CRINGEY.  And, yes it seemed dumb that we didn't see a hint of Grant Gustin or John Wesley Schipp, which just seems like respect due.  But Gustin and Schipp have had LONG runs and got a lot of traction from their roles; a few seconds in this film wouldn't have helped them. But it certainly wouldn't have hurt the director/producers in the eyes of fans of the character.  

I thought the Latina version of Nora was an interesting choice; if nothing else, it explains why Barry Allen looks like Ezra Miller in this universe.  Actress was great; loved her in the role. The father? Eh. No.  Why they passed up the opportunity to say "Run, Barry, Run" rather than just "Run, Barry"... well I suppose that would have struck too close to home (the TV show). 

Anyway, I had fun watching it.  I hope you do, too.

Friday, June 16, 2023

Today I Nearly Wet Myself

 Because never did I expect to see again:


There are some bright spots in the Dawn of the DCU after all, and Batman/Superman World's Finest (issue #15, in this case) is one of them.  Especially now that Tim's back, which feels so ... RIGHT that it makes me question his loyalty to Batman for having been AWOL so long during Damian's reign of terror.

I hear you, Tim. I stand chastised.

The writers of this comic have the Wisdom of the (Comic Book) Ages, because they understand that Robin is the un-heralded third member of World's Finest, and was always the lynchpin that held the ensemble together.  Let these covers full of truth wash over you until you understand/believe.

This issue had Batman, Superman, Robin, Supergirl, Metamorpho, Prof. Ivo & Amazo, Will Magnus & the Metal Men, the Toyman, Dr. Cyber (!), the Red Tornado, the Doom Patrol, Chemo, Ultivac, the Challengers of The Unknown, the Teen Titans, and the Awesome Threesome.  Oh, and a Robot Uprising plot to Enslave All Humanity.  

And it didn't need a year-long universe-wide crossover to do it.  Apparently, there are still people who remember how to make comics, after all.