The Dress Suit, Part 4

We last left Doll Man paying a social call (a Doll call, as it were) on Mr. Sordin, the only partner of Dagnam, Tate, Weamer, & Sordin who is as yet untouched by the Dress Suit rampage. I have long since forgotten exactly WHAT their business is, but I suppose it doesn't matter. Any more than the teletype aficionado who never showed up again mattered.

Quickly: a six-inch man shows up at your house and you need to offer him refreshments; WHAT DO YOU SELECT?  I'm think a raisin and a thimble of lemonade. Maybe a smushed up Ritz or some bread crumbs from the toaster.

But while Sordin is pondering the unanswerable riddle of what to serve a six-inch man, Doll Man spies the reflection of the Dress Suit in the mirror!

Does Doll Man risk another encounter with the CLOMPing feet of The Dress Suit? He does NOT. Instead...

he decided to kill the next victim himself!

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, I guess!  "See, Dress Suit? I killed him FOR you! I did good, huh? Did you like that? Are we friends now? Please don't hurt me..."

Perhaps Sordin just has a VERY shallow butler's pantry.

Are you confused? Good.

Quite an engineer, indeed.

"For crying out loud" seems as good a reaction as any.  Mr. Sordin was a good enough engineer to design a suitanoid robot killing machine and instead of making a fortune working for DARPA or Boston Dynamics, he joined a brokerage firm? Criminals do the counter-intuitivest things!

But wait. It gets better.

And what lesson does this teach us?
NEVER believe something just because you read it on The Teletype.

So, from his Martha-avoiding excursion to the Penitentiary, Doll Man learned that Weamer wasn't dead? Oh, I see: THAT'S HOW DOLL MAN KNEW THE DRESS SUIT WASN'T ANIMATED BY THE GHOST OF WEAMER.  Not because "there are no ghosts" or "I'm professional scientist who should know better."  Well, at least we know why The Dress Suit went CLOMP CLOMP when it walked and was able to kick Doll Man's patootie so thoroughly; it's a big metal robot.

Um... an idea? To ... build a robot to kill his partners?  So, now he has to do all the work at the brokerage?  It's a financial firm, not a Tontine.

The Doll City Detective roughing up Mr. Sordin REALLY deserves a name by this point.

Um, yeah, this is getting more ridiculous. No more plot or back story, please.

Yeah, um, starting to lose the thread here, Doll Man. Time to take a bow and FIN out, like Speed Saunders would.

I'M NOT LISTENING ANY MORE LALALALALALALA

Notice I didn't even bother to address the absurdity that The Teletype confused being in a coma with being dead and then NEVER CORRECTED THE ERROR.  After all, this is a world where you can compress your molecules through force of will. Anyway, since Weamer's not dead and is now exonerated, I guess he wins the Tontine.

Happiest police force in comics!

So all's well that--

OMG ENOUGH ALREADY

Yeesh. Speed Saunders has to wrap things up in six pages, but you can tell Doll Man has to fill an ENTIRE QUARTERLY by his lonesome. So even after all that padding he has to tack on a Wryly Comedic Epilog, likes it's a Batman'66 episode: 

Well, at least the detective got a name.

At least we get see ball-busting Martha again; even if you are only six inches tall, she can STILL cut you down to size!

<comedic trombone>

This was the only appearance of The Dress Suit.  But the concept has been used, and more than once.  But none with quite the combination of panache and frisson possessed by The Dress Suit. Does it deserve a comeback? Who would it fight and why? Feel free to unleash your Dress Suit fanfic in the comments!

The Dress Suit, Part 3

When we last left Doll Man he was hiding under a man's pillow.

To keep the man safe, of course.

But out of the closet -- as you might have guessed -- comes The Dress Suit!

It really IS the logical place to hide if you're a Dress Suit.

CLOMP.  Here comes The Dress Suit to death-stab the next partner of Dewey, Cheatham, & Howe.

This is usually the part where Samatha explains that the tiny man and the animated suit are all part of Darren's new ad campaign for the client's product.

Just how DID Mr. Tate get turned around like that?
I'm curious how they will animate this in Doll Man: The Animated Series.

"There it is, Mr. Tate!"? 

"Not that time, you didn't!"? 

If this weren't 1946, I'd assume Doll Man's dialog was AI-generated, because, while it's not irrelevant, it's definitely off-the-mark (just like The Dress Suit's knife).

Mr. Tate appears to suffer from episimokostoumiphobia.
Or perhaps maxilaropolemophobia.

Then the police show up, bringing machine guns to a pillow fight.

For all the good it does.

And the Dress Suit blithely clomp-clomps away, unimpeded.  

Remarkably cooperative and amenable police officers in Doll City, I must say.

Darrel Dane's next step, as he promised Martha Roberts, is to visit THE PENITENTIARY for an in-depth, detailed clue-gathering mission that would exhaust even Velma Dinkley!

And why WOULDN'T the Warden of the State Penitentiary be eager to cooperate with a RANDOM RESEARCH CHEMIST?  People, there's a reason that most superhero secret identities are police, reporters, or billionaires.

Well, I'm sure Darrel's research at the Penitentiary was just fascinating, but, we'll never know, since the next panels are:

In which Doll Man tours the Solar System before paying a visit to the next potential victim.

Lessee: Dagnam is dead (murdered by the Dress Suit); Tate is still alive (saved by Doll Man from being murdered by the Dress Suit); Weamer is dead, having died in prison (with his ghost animating the Dress Suit which was his trademark), and Sordin is... this guy:

"Hey, buddy; my eyes are down HERE!"

I guess we are to understand that by Doll Man Quarterly No. 9 (Summer 1946), Doll Man is a sufficiently well-known and publicly supported superhero that regular folk in Doll City don't FREAK OUT when a living action figure shows up at their door.

"Worried? Why, I've been distraught since I saw it on The Teletype!"

Mr. Sordin, a seasoned and generous host, goes to get Doll Man some refreshments: "Here's a Hydrox the size of your torso and a demitasse of coffee so large you could bathe in it."

Tomorrow: Refreshments are SERVED.

The Dress Suit, Part 2

Let's see how Doll Man tackles the nightmare that is... The Dress Suit!

I find it vaguely interesting that everyone in this story immediately assumes the Dress Suit is an empty but animated suit, rather than, say, a nattily dressed Invisible Man.  I guess the concept of an Invisible Man is too far-fetched for a man who compress his own molecules by force at will.

"I'd better look sharp!'  Let's see how that goes:

CLOMP!

Yeah, you're in a blue unitard, Darrel; there's no way you can "look sharp" in comparison to a LITERAL DRESS SUIT.

See? I told you it was a horse in there.

Darrel Dane consistently forgets he could utilize his amazing power of being a six-foot tall man; well, he's committed to the bit, and so wallops the Dress Suit right in its lack-of-chest.

I just assume that's some sort of curtain tassel rather than a green witch's broom.

Then the Dress Suit reminds us why being doll-sized isn't the best possible defense.

The whole apartment is going to have little Dane-shaped indents all OVER the place.

Meanwhile, somebody DOES notice that Darrel never called the police and just how shady that is.

Dr. Roberts is an accomplished enabler.

I appreciate Martha's healthy skepticism of her boyfriend, which is refreshing for a Golden Age girlfriend. 

She's proactive, too. In a braver comic, SHE would be the main character.

Well, I guess WOMEN are good for calling the police, while a real MAN like Darrel Dane has surely already recovered and is hot on The Dress Suit's clompy trail.

Or perhaps he's lying as a crumpled heap of tiny broken bones near the desk the Dress Suit slapped him to.

"There not much the police can do", Darrel?  Other than save your stupid life.  Upon a moment of reflection, I am really impressed by the Dress Suit.  Most Doll Man villains just go "A Tiny man?! What even IS this?!" and get their asses handed to them by a wisecracking action figure.  But The Dress Suit didn't even waste time LAUGHING at Doll Man, it just kicked and smacked him around like, well, a DOLL. From the effects of which pummeling, the police try to revive Doll Man...

Imagine being badly concussed while someone is trying to give you a drink from a water bucket larger than your head.  It's not Darrel's finest hour.

Once awakened, Doll Man tells the police, "It was a headless ghost, who was really strong, and I have no intention of getting involved again."

Our hero.

I don't know who this detective is, but he is now my favorite Doll Man character.

"Hm? Dress suit? Weird. Any way, here's an ACTUAL CLUE."

Doll Man puts on his anti-reading glasses and reads the giant headline.

I can just hear the writer's pitch: 
"So, imagine Nikola Tesla as a ghost criminal."

The police make it clear to Doll Man exactly what they can do.

"Am I going too FAST for you, Doll Man?"

All this may be too fast for research chemist Darrel Dane, but it's red meat to Adult Jimmy Olsen, who appears as if by magic.

How is the newshound there so fast?  Was he eavesdropping in the hall?  Even Johnny Quick didn't get to breaking news this quickly.

"This is my chance to duck out!" Our hero.

I should just accept this Insta-Reporter at face value as a device to hurry the plot along, but I am still hung up on the sequence of events.  The only sensible sequence I can piece together is: 

• Martha sees murder;
• Martha runs home and reports such to her father and boyfriend;
• the boyfriend (Darrel "Doll Man" Dane) says he will call the police but doesn't and instead goes Dollmanning at the scene of the crime and gets his tiny patootie whooped by an empty dress suit;
• while Doll Man is laying in an unconscious heap of pain, Martha (wisely doubting that Darrel called the police) calls the police herself;
• the police come, find the corpse of the victim and the unconscious heap of Doll Man, whom they revive with the relative equivalent of a bathtub of drinking water;
• the police detective determines the suspect and motivation by simply reading the paper before Doll Man is even on his feet;
• this murder, um, goes on The Teletype--somehow? Which Reporterman reads and immediately shows up?

If this is correct, then The Teletype -- however THAT worked -- must have been faster and more efficient than the internet.

"How was I to know that being six inches tall and without police backup would wind up being a liability?"

Martha (love her) has no patience with Darrel's folderol and tries to angle herself a transactional favor in exchange for not reporting Darrel to the police for obstructing justice. But it turns out Darrel is ALREADY headed to prison...!

"Quiet, you two! RADIO BEMBA is on The Teletype!"

Martha may not be curious, but I am DYING to know what Flimsy Excuse (tm) Darrel was going to gin up for his trip to the State Penitentiary, which he really didn't have to mention to her at all.

Yeah. If a six-inch chemist couldn't stop the Dress Suit, what could a platoon of armed, uniformed, trained law-enforcements offices hope to accomplish?

How do you think Doll Man knew where Mr. Tate lived? The Teletype?

I wonder what Doll Man's plan is? Will he take Mr. Tate into his confidence so at to protect him better?

I...
well, I'm just not to say ANYTHING.

Aren't many heroes who do stake-out by hiding under the target's pillow. Let's see how that goes tomorrow.

The Dress Suit, Part 1

By request of Absorbascommenter Tad, we present, "Doll Man Versus The Dress Suit" (Doll Man Quarterly No. 9, Summer 1946).

I think the original story idea was Versus the Gingerbread Man, but the Pastry Lobby stepped in.

Uncanny though it may be, the Dress Suit cannot distract me from the fact that the potential victim is apparently sleeping upside down in his bed.

It begins with Doll Man's squeeze, Martha Roberts, walking home with a freshly baked chocolate cake on her head.  It was part of the agreement with the Pastry Lobby.

It easy to make fun of "The Dress Suit" but, this is honestly a terrifying sequence and a great example of the Golden Age mastery of staging and style.

That's pure horror movie right there.

Words (and backgrounds) are not always needed (or desired).

Fortunately (?), Doris's house is really close to this horrific murder scene.

Just a block away means even a six-inch may can get there pretty quickly.

Again; this is art, people.

"No, I haven't called the police yet, dad, you dumb-ass; you scientists haven't invented cell phones yet and it was ONE BLOCK AWAY."

Typically, Doll Man craves action more than justice, so he lies about calling the police about a murder. Do Martha and Dr. Roberts ever notice that Darrel didn't call the police? Do the police ever show up?  Whatever! It's DOLL MAN TIME.

Doll Man Fact: In the process of shrinking to his six-inch size, Doll Man must first travel to Saturn!

I must pause to appreciate the typewriter-ish font that Doll Man stories use for captions.  It really helps ground a world in which a man compresses his own molecules simply through the power of will.

Sure, Darrel. Whatever lets you sleep at night.

"Who needs the police? What can THEY do that a six-inch tall research chemist can't?"  Never change, Doll Man.  

Let's just skip over the hour that it takes Doll Man to climb those steps, shall we?

Doll Man's on the spot, so that a MAN can confirm The Hysterical Woman's wild assertion that a man down the block was just stabbed to death.

Thanks, Dr. McCoy.

If there is any advantage to being only six-inches tall, I should think it would be stealth, but Doll Man botches that almost immediately because HINGES.

Remember that "CLOMP! CLOMP!" for a bit.

Consider just how oblivious Doll Man must be for the following sequence to be possible.

I guess when you are only six-inches tall, anything larger tends to fade into the background.

How does an empty dress suit go CLOMP CLOMP? Is there a horse inside it?

Oh, yeah, that is pretty terrifying.  Although I am surprised that, at his size, Doll Man can even NOTICE that he doesn't have a head.  Let's see how Doll Man deals with the situation tomorrow....