The Black Dragon versus Sandman

Immortal gods, I ask of you one boon alone: PLEASE don't let there be a "Japanese Sandman" joke in this story.

Fire Island, I assume.

This is the poseur version of Sandman, after he ditched his pulpy get-up for this skin-tight superhero number just because his new gym routine paid off.  It's very try-hard and screams "I'M NOT A GEEK ANYMORE!"

He's been assigned to recover the inventor/invention of modern "Greek Fire" (a famously lost ancient incendiary formula that burned in defiance of water, which was very effective against ships). So... Sandman is being sent to the beach.

The "Sandcar"?  Give me a minute for my eyes to roll back out of my head.

Fortunately, the Feds have done the advance work and pretty much know just where to send him.

As a great man once said,
"SHUT UP, Wesley!"

The writers give Wes the opportunity to use that damnable "wirepoon" of his.

It's much cooler when Batman starts using it as a "grappling gun".
Everything is cooler when Batman does it.

Shut UP, Wesley.

For the most part, all these Golden Age heroes had interchangeable personalities.

"No, you jack-@$$, I'm the goddam DOCTOR LIVINGSTON!"

And Gardner Fox is listed as writing EACH of the sub-stories, so that makes some sense. The heroes were distinguished by their costumes and their gimmicks; differing personalities would have been gilding the lily!

Mad? Just because he was kidnapped by foreign agents who stole his invention and tied him to a bed?  How sensitive!

But I don't think I'm imagining it when I notice that

Gardner Fox wrote Sandman to be PARTICULARLY insufferable.  As if he too thought Wesley Dodds was just a nerd trying to pretend he was one of the Cool Kids now that he got yoked.

Well, at least he didn't do a Japanese Sa--

DAMMIT, Wesley!

As we know, hubris precedes a fall and Wesley's comes hard upon.

Specifically, with a rock bouncing off his skull.
Nighty-night, Sandman.

I'm beginning to think Peter Parker got all his smack-talk skills from being a Sandman fan.

After a desultory demonstration of Modern Greek Fire, the Black Dragoneers get to what we've all be waiting for:

Killing Sandman.
P.S. Shut up, Wesley.

At least being in a death-trap, brings some SMALL sense of seriousness to Sandman.

Just pick one and die, Wes.

Naturally, Sandman uses the flames to burn off his bonds, and then ... ACTUALLY uses his SAND.

I don't think I've ever seen Sandman USE sand to good effect. You win this round, Sandman.

Now freed, Sandman disarms his captor and incidentally sets the whole place on Greek Fire.

"What could possibly go wrong?"

Killing a great many people, I might add.

And so Wesley saves the Inventor, the Invention, and the day.  By burning a lot of people to death.  Yay?

Tomorrow...

Well, it's the Atom. And I guarantee you are NOT ready for it.  

WE guarantee it.

The Black Dragon versus Hawkman

Okay, let's see what Hawkman is up against in his assignment to stymie the Black Dragon's pl--

WT-Flying-F? BWHAHAHAHA

Okay, even for a Golden Age JSA story, that is exceptionally ridiculous.  And defiant of more than one law of aerodynamics.  

It's the windows that really sell it, though.  Eat your heart out, Iwao Takamoto.

Pictured: A Nearby State.

To save time, the injured inventor of the Giant Aero Prop straight just tells Hawkman where the villains are. Naturally, they holed up in the same kind of weird castle-tower-monastery place that Hawkman stories often take place in, because his uppity creative team were always going for that faraway Prince Valiant vibe.

That's how Hawkman became a weird, occult thing with mysterious artifacts from distant temples rather just a shirtless gym bro in an anti-grav belt and a downy security blanket.

And just in time, too, as Japanese Klunk is explaining how the Giant Aero Prop works.

"Whatdidhesay, whatdidhesay?"

Hawkman cracks some heads, as is his wont.

He snatches the Master Plans for the propellor, hurls some Black Dragon goons to their doom, then resolves to take the propellor itself.

"And just when I thought I'd never have a more absurd means of flying than the one I regularly use!"

I believe that's comic book Japanese for "uh-oh".

"... so are the Days of Our Lives." 
< insert haunting theme>

But like Icarus before him, Hawkman is felled by his own hubris.

Those bullets can harm you. 
Your wings are not a shield of steel!

This is why Batfink got 100 cartoon episodes and Hawkman three.

The Black Dragoneers craft a fiendish plot: tie Hawkman to the propellor, then fly the device until he falls to his doom.

Hey, I said it was a fiendish plot, not an intelligent one.

Yes, you heard that right. Their plan is to kill a man whose ONLY ability is flying unaided by tossing him from a great height. 

Gives you a clearer sense of why they lost the war, doesn't it?

Despite the obvious flaw in their plan, it goes pretty well.

With Hawkman apparently disposed of, the Black Dragoneers whirl away to chop the tops of off NYC's skyscrapers.

Would it had KILLED them to add "It's a plane?"
That saying was ALREADY well known by this point, believe it or not.

Naturally, Hawkman does NOT fall to his death because not-falling is his superpower, and he wings to New York to stop the giant propellor with the aid of some hawks.

I guess they gave up on the picturesque but probably self-defeating idea of lawnmowering the New York skyline.

Naturally, since this is NYC those are Peregrine Falcons, but when you are Hawkman, whose girlfriend kicks more ass than he does, you are not fussy about what help you can get.

The birds stop the bombs off-panel, while Hawkman, wrapped in his comforting security blanket, confronts his captors.

One of whom, despite being "An Oriental", is clearly an avid student of Western philosophy's Aristotle.

Hawkman delegates the disposition of the de-planed Dragons to his horde of hawks.

Sorry, but "peregrine falcons" is insufficiently alliterative.

Well, at least we escaped the preposterous sight of mid-air lawnmowering.

I guess I spoke too soon.

So much for Hawkman. Buy some No-Doz pills for tomorrow, when we join the garishly dressed Sandman as he searches for the (re-)inventor of Greek Fire!

The Black Dragon versus the Justice Battalion

I swore I'd never do it again but...

I am going to try to read another Golden Age Justice Society of America comic book (All-Star Comics #12, AUG-SEP 1940), if for no other reason than to dissuade you from ever trying to do so yourself.

Oh gods this is AFTER Flash and Green Lantern left; I'm doomed.

This the first outing of Justice Society as the "Justice Battalion", meaning... well, nothing really.  It just meant FDR gave them a new nickname and permission to fight against the Axis with his blessing (and some coordination by Uncle Sam)

And by that I mean The Federal Government, not the CHARACTER, who had much more important things to do, like give piggy-back rides.

The war was too big to be ignored in comic books and editors had to find ways of making their heroes' adventures fit into war-time storytelling.

Except of course for Batman who always does whatever the heck he wants;
he was playing keep away with Catwoman while other heroes -- government pawns that they are! -- fought Uncle Sam's war.

The Flash and Green Lantern, being popular AND sensible, had gotten their own comic books and so had already left the JSA.  

I guess it makes sense that Jay would be the fastest one OUT of the JSA.

Green Lantern was only in nine issues of the JSA.
That's about the length of an average Geoff Johns story.

As I regularly remind people, the JSA is not so much the JLA's conceptual predecessor as it's conceptual opposite.  The JLA was composed of the DCU's most popular and iconic heroes; the JSA was composed only of characters NOT popular or iconic enough to have their own comic book series. At times, it REALLY shows.

In this issue, actual comic book star Wonder Woman becomes the JSA secretary, 

Starman always had a way with words. And oomphy way.

This not so much because She Was The Woman (like everyone assumes), but to explain why she didn't get story segments of her own, because she was a STAR in her own comic. The POINT of the JSA was to showcase these also-rans and Wonder Woman only did cameos in the hope that her popularity would boost interest.

The cover is proof of that, if proof were needed.

She was already a busy lady and none of these feebs were up to the task of saving Steve Trevor's bacon on the regular.

The premise for this series of stories is that the "Justice Battalion" has been asked by the feds to look into an Axis subversive organization called "The Black Dragon".  Who are they?

A shadowy tong headed by a war-mongering self-centered elder who has a very high opinion of himself, a very low opinion of his countrymen, and wields power through a fanatical cult.
Thanks goodness America is safe from such things!

They also double as a pre-explosion Kryptonian cos-play society.

Major Exposition shows up from the Pentagon to give the JSAers their assignments.

Actually, this was before the Pentagon, but you get the idea.  The JSAers don't care WHERE their assignments come from as long as they GET ASSIGNMENTS. They can't live without them!

There are eight inventors who've been kidnapped along with their war-relevant inventions.

Unlike me!

Eight? How terribly convenient.

"Count me out, boys! While you're off beating up racist caricatures, I'll stay here and battle The God of War himself, along with his divine minions."

I am deeply moved by the sad sight of the godlike Spectre, disappointedly opening what he had hoped was a Valentine from the Little Red-Haired Girl.

I am impressed, however, that even the Golden Age, the writers found the time to call themselves on their own BS, in anticipation of potential reader objections:

Whatever helps you sleep at night, you deserter.

So off "the boys" go to fight the Black Dragon.  Oh, and despite Wonder Woman's clearly superior "star" status, Golden Age writers were not above some standard sex-stereotyping:

"Wistful"? More like dumbstruck by how much their enthusiasm outstrips their confidence.

Tomorrow we join JSA Chairman Hawkman on HIS part of the adventure.  Will he be saving an AERIAL invention, as would be thematically appropriate? You'll see...!