Tuesday, August 23, 2005

The Effect of Dr. Domino

For pity's sake, DC!

Where the heck is Dr. Domino?

You're missing the boat, here, DC. He's the perfect centerpiece to link together all the summer blockbuster miniseries. Keeping his creation of the Secret Society underwraps. Working with Brainiac and the Construct to create and control the OMACs and Brother Eye. Instigating intergalatic war so that, once the smoke clears, only Earth remains powerful, and with him as its ruler. Manipulating Eclipso and the Spectre to eliminate magic and its threat to his supremacy.

Ye-he-hesssss, of course! Tipping over events, distantly putting cause and effect to work, initiating long but inevitable links of endless societal elements, falling into place one by one, until the world topples beneath the gloved touch of .... DR. DOMINO!

Because of my joint Character Donations to Marvel with Devon of Seven Hells, some of you may think I feel that every crappy villain needs to be shipped off to Marvel.

Fools! You utter fools!

There are as many kinds of stupidity as there are of intelligence. Marvel has its own kind of stupid; DC has its own.

Dr. Domino pretty much personifies it, in fact. Look at him. LOOK. AT. HIM!

I'm not even going to belabor the level of insanity indicated by this outfit. This guy makes the Joker look like Mr. Spock. This guy is WHACKED OUT, people! No explanation, by the way, why he's named Dr. Domino. Was he teased mercilessly as a child by gameplaying eldery Cuban men who pelted him with pieces of dot-faced ebony wood, until he vowed to one day make the mechanism of his humilitation into the symbol of his inexorable control over all who might threaten him? You'd think. But we never got told. Sad, really.

Oh, I can picture you reading this now, sitting there on your overstuffed armchair, wearing a smoking jacket, while the butler breaks out the sherry, now that your youthful ward has been put to bed. It's all just SO amusing, isn't it? "Dr. Domino, tee-hee!" you're thinking. Well, if you were in a dark alley and ran into a guy looking like that, would you think, "Oh, huh, must be a new pizza parlor spokesperson!"

NO, you would not. Would you think, "Who in blue blazes is this seriously deranged brothermucker and can he run faster than I'm about to?!" Yes, you would.

You know who didn't take Dr. Domino seriously? Wonder Woman.

And look what happened to her.


Marionette said...

Yes, but he did have his own nuclear warhead. Which he fired at New York when he didn't get his own way. That's Joker level tantruming.

It's only because Wonder Woman has the little known superpower to ride missiles like they were bucking broncos that averted a major disaster.

Anonymous said...

Would they ever allow it? If DD was in the next Batman movie, how crazy good would that be? Only the Dark Knight could handle that character.

Zaratustra said...

What domino piece IS that on his head? It's weirdly aligned for a 4-2 or a 6-0. It seems to be just a generic 'six' domino for people that can't handle two different numbers in the same piece.

Scipio said...

Well, I assume he's wearing a black undershirt with six white dots on it to complete the picture.

Dr. Domino is my new Comeback Posterchild.

Seems impossible?

Well, I have one word for you:


Anonymous said...

In fact, it would not surprise me if Dr. Domino were related to the Calculator, or perhaps an entirely different personality of his when, as retroconning will reveal, he was pretty much the supervillainous equivalent of Crazy Jane.

Anonymous said...

A genius super-villain who dresses in an outfit so rediculous that you underestimate him.

So he's the DC equivalent of Doink the Clown?

Chris said...

I've got it! Dr. Domino is only half a 6-6 on his head because...

...he's got a twin! The other 6-helmeted Domino sibling is still out there waiting to cause havoc! Quick, Robin, tell Commissioner Gordon to put out an APB for Brother Backgammon, Charlie Checkers, and all of Checkmate! (Oops...)

Sleestak said...

I think its obvious that Tick creator read alot of DC

Anonymous said...

I think Dr. Domino bought his super-villain attire at the same boutique as Marvel's 8-Ball.

Gambi's Big and Megalomaniacal Men's Wear, with eight convenient locations to serve you.

Harvey Jerkwater said...

Oh my dear god, this character is genius.

Okay, DC, here's a quality pitch, free of charge.

Revive the character of Starman, going full-blown retro. Keep the Gen-X goggle-boy in limbo and put a totally new guy in the Christmas-colored tights. Goddammit, Starman must be festive.

Make the new Starman's arch-nemesis Dr. Domino, a mad genius with a head for strategy and a minor precognitive ability. He's the ultimate master planner. He "knows how the dominoes will fall," doncha see.

Then add a healthy dose of DRAMA!

Then add a second dose of DRAMA!

Then, for variety, a little touch of DRAMA!

Sweet Mary, Mother of God, would it rule. I think comic shops would crack in half at its sheer awesomeness.

Harvey Jerkwater said...

And we can't forget Dr. Domino's kid sidekicks Muggins and Pai Gow, now can we? His moll, Longana?

This stuff writes itself.


Scipio said...

Actually, Chris, Dr. Domino's twin is

(because this is DC, after all)

Dr. Double Domino.

Scipio said...

Oh, I agree, Harvey! The only thing, I would add to your pitch, is, well, MORE DRAMA.

And you know who needs to work for Dr. Domino?

Major Disaster. NOT the enormous musclebound moronic hero in the JLA POSING as Major Disaster.

The REAL Major Disaster. The one who can see all world's dangerous possibilities, the one who destroyed a twon with a tidal wave, because he ex lived there.

THAT is Major Disaster and a perfect aide for Dr. Domino.