My wings are like a shield of steel!

Apparently, not everyone knows who Batfink is. Fortunately, the Absorbascon exists to correct just this kind of cultural injustice. For those not yet in the know, let me add Batfink to your geek-repertoire.

Within mere months of the premiere of the Batman television series in 1966, the Hal Seeger Studio produced "Batfink", a series of short cartoons parodying the runaway hit show. Batfink had a large but ineffective sidekick/chaffeur named "Karate" (a snipe at the Green Hornet's Kato). They rode around in their Batillac (I mean, obviously!). Their chief recurring foe was the mad scientist Hugo A-Go-Go; if the Joker and Lex Luthor had a love-child, that child would be Hugo A-Go-Go.

Batfink had two principal powers (other than superstrength and, you know, flying), and a catch phrase for each one when he used it...

1. His wings were indestructible/made of steel (whichever the plot required), and when he used them he usually said:

"Your bullets [or whatever the threat was] cannot harm me; my wings are like a shield of steel!"

2. He also could emit a bat-radar sound in order to find things, whereupon he would invariably say:

"My supersonic sonar-radar will help me!"

The supersonic sonar-radar was represented by a large white-lettered BEEP that seemed at times to have a life and intelligence at its own. You'd have to see it to believe it.

These are two phrases of extraordinary power and utility in geekspeak. The first can be used on any occasion when an attack against you fails, whether it be verbal, conceptual, physical, or metaphysical. It's great for Heroclix games. The second comes in handy when, in the process of struggling with some problem or puzzle, you suddenly think of something that will help you do it. Finding the right internet resource, running a computer diagnostic program, picking up a flyswatter -- those kinds of things. I have soundclips of both sayings, but, sadly, I don't know how to make them accessible to you.

Parodying a parody is not easy, but Batfink did. It also had a marvelous theme song (a simple but memorable trumpet piece). What's more, there were more episodes of Batfink than there were of Batman! Exactly 100 truly lunatic episodes, culminating in a final, retrospective episode, "Batfink, This is Your Life!"

When I was a lad, Batfink was on the air at odds times, like Sunday afternoon, or early, early, early in the morning. But the episodes went out of distribution in the 1980s, so many younger folk have never seen any Batfink. Fortunately, all 100 episodes are available on DVD; unfortunately, they are only available in the UK and Australia (don't ask why).

Be forewarned; there is a reason a Batfink cartoon is only 5 minutes long. The animation is abominable and the best parody is a SHORT parody. Do NOT sit down and watch the whole DVD. Instead, every time you watch an episode of JLU or The Batman, watch a Batfink episode before or after.

That, you will enjoy.