Friday, July 26, 2019

Broad Live the Legion!

Let's talk about this, the group drawing of the new Legion of Super-Heroes shared by incoming author Brian "Blah blah blah" Bendis in his interview with Seth Meyers:


Thanks, Computo
Before we start annotation, let's start with 'number zero': the Legion as an ensemble.  In short, this looks great, it looks like the Legion should, and if you don't think so, well...
you're wrong.

Nobody cares, least of all me, that "this isn't the Legion I grew up with," so shut yer yaps.  Your precious past is STILL THERE, preserved in about 10,000 different volumes of old LSH stories available to you in a wide variety of formats. Go back and read them if you want, I know I do that myself.

God knows, we must revere and preserve the Legion's honored past and traditions.
More than any other DC intellectual property, the Legion of Super-Heroes isn't about your past; it's about our future.  If you want to spend your life living in the past, what the sprock are you reading the Legion for anyway?!

Similarly, "The Diversity Issue". YES, this version of the Legion looks more 'diverse' than many we have seen before, and no one cares if that triggers your atavistic reactionary incel-self.  Because just as the Legion has always been about the future and not the past, it has always been about diversity. Different people from different planets and species/races with different powers, committing to do great things by creating a greater synergy from their differences.  Again, if you aren't into that concept, then what the sprock are you reading the Legion for anyway?

And, last: please note that Legion looks like they are having fun and enjoying one another's company.  They aren't angry sad-sack Marvel characters, forced to band together against a cruel society that hates and fears them because "They Are Different".  They are friends and teammates, clearly eager to join forces to do good for the galaxy.  And that's the people in whose hands I want the future to be.

Now, the annotations.  Help me unpack all this!

1. The only guess I have here is Ferro Lad, but that's almost certainly wrong.  What's that symbol on his chest; Hello Kitty?  Is this Hello Kitty Lad?  Maybe I am not as okay with diversity as I thought. Could it be... Proty 2?  That would be amazing.

Cuz Proty 2 will sprock with your head, man.

2. Obviously, Gim "Colossal Boy/Leviathan" Allen, being a **** and looking like someone gave him a black eye recently, which would all be fairly on point for him.  Note to DC: it IS a cooler name, but given what else you are publishing this year, naming him "Leviathan" could cause some confusion.

3.  Well. That's Dr. Fate, no debating that.  That'll be interesting.

Let's hope we don't have to endure a Bendis re-telling of THAT origin story.

4. Blok (or is it Strata, his female counterpart?). Regardless: it's Future Concrete.

5. Lessee... White. Female. Dressed like Felix Faust at Easter. Let's assume it's the White Witch.  Usually she is THE magic-wielder in the Legion (although sometimes other members have had powers with magic source, they seldom 'wield' magic), so having Dr. Fate around is even more intriguing.

6.  Skeletor Lad? Atomic Skull Boy?  Nurse Phosphorus?  Mister Bones, Junior?  Halloween 5.0? Translucent Kid?  The Phantom of the Future Paradise? Yo Soy El Esqueleto de Juan? Mano-cure? DAVID S. PUMPKINS?!

Maybe it's Invisible Kid, having fun.

7. Shadow Lass, a.k.a. Shady.

8.  Sun Boy or Inferno or Fiery-Face Lad if you wish.  A sort of human torch, if you will, standing beside a big rock-person Thing.  Good call.

9.  A Lantern? A Yellow Lantern?  Well, that's an interesting choice.  Like Dr. Fate, it shows some through-line to the present-day DCU... but Yellow? Interesting.  Maybe it's a ... Gold Lantern?

10.  Chuck "Bouncing Boy" Taine, with an uncharacteristic mop of red hair.  Look, I'm okay with Princess Projectra being a giant snake, but giving Chuck red hair may be crossing the line.  This just isn't the Legion I grew up with!

11.  PINK LADY.  Well, it's about time we got some adult beverage representation in the Legion!  Not everyone drinks Silverale, you know.  Anyway, it's probably Princess Projectra but I miss Sensor Girl!

12.  Given the Asian look and martial artsy costume, I'm going to guess Karate Kid.  I can't believe they are actually going there.


13.  Reep "Chameleon Boy" Daggle.

Can't this be his default form? Pretty please?

14.  Another imaginative reinterpretation of Triplicate Girl, a.k.a. Triad.  We'll see how they make it work this time.  She may not be the most combat-threatening Legionnaire, but existentially she is TERRIFYING.

15. Dream Girl / Dreamer.  Always a baller.

Or, as they call her on "Supergirl", Phone Cord Girl.

16.  Mon-El / M'On-El / Valor.  But if you don't already know that you probably aren't reading this.

17. Saturn Girl, still trying to make her logo work.

18. Star Boy, based on the characteristic costume.  No beard, thank god.

19. I'm thinking Pink-Punk-Hair-Loss Lass is Shrinking Violet.

20.  Jon "Superboy" Kent. Great, sure, fine; anything to put an end to The Super-Sons Saga.

21.  Brainiac 5. Smiling. I'm sold.

22.  Tinya "Phantom Girl/ Apparition" Wazzo.  The hair braids and costume holes are a dead giveaway.

23.  Lightning Lad; classic costuming, red hair. Two arms, even.

24.  Dawnstar. Sigh.  I think there's some sort of magical covenant that Dawnstar can't die until Cher does (sometime AFTER the 23rd Century).

25.  Cosmic Boy, yummy as ever.

25.  Goateed hippy-boy Element Lad, his logo funnier than ever and who knows nothing and should shut up.

You wanna argue with Brainiac 5?
Good luck with that.

26. XS, the Legion's superspeedster and descendant of the Flash.

27.  The most clean-cut version of Ultra-Boy ever.

28.  Wildfire.  The Sonny Bono to Dawnstar's Cher.

30.   Matter-Eater Lad, looking like beans rice and inertron didn't miss 'im.

31.  And Timber Bear. I mean, Wolf. Yeah; no; I mean Bear.