Sunday, August 21, 2005
The Return of the Composite Superman
I, the Composite Superman, declare to the world the formation of
the Unsecret Society of Super Composites.
The formation of this group comes entirely from the genius of my 12th-level intelligence ... as inspired by H of the Comic Treadmill. H, therefore, will live to enjoy life under the new regime of the Unsecret Society of Super Composites. We are, however, undecided as of yet about Mag.
Behold and tremble before...
That mind-boggling grotesquery (and my new lover), the Super-Duper, a machine-made creature combination of Wonder Woman, Batman, Hawkman, Flash, and Green Lantern.
The bifurcated mutant android, the Argonoid, which can use the powers of any two JLAers at a time!
The timeless big guy himself, Amazo, the android sponge-god who duplicates the powers of the entire JLA, seen below in all his butt-kicking glory, humilating the Justice League by defeating them instantly with his stupidest power!
The Composite Man, my 30th century "cousin", with inferior taste and a dislike for authority!
Our new recording secretary, the reticent Replikon!
Our demands are few and simple! Meet them or be obliterated!
1. If there are any other beings like us in the DC Universe, identify them to us, so they can join us ... or be destroyed!
2. The total annihilation of all members of the Secret Society of SuperVillains, except for Luthor and Talia, who are to become our personal round-the-clock love slaves!
3. Mount Rushmore-style busts of ourselves carved in the face of the moon, at a size visible to the naked eye from Earth. Lit dramatically from below!
4. Fashion make-overs for Super-Duper & Amazo, performed by the Fab Five, the planet's premier experts in creating artificial hybrid monsters with temporarily borrowed powers and abilities!
5. The establishment of an nationalism- crushing planetary composite currency that -- what? A "Euro"? Okay, then. Our faces on this "Euro"!
6. Drawings of the Unsecret Society of Super Composites made by every living comic book artist!
7. Joe Quesada's skull, transformed into gold by my Element Lad power, as a paperweight for my gargantuan desk, carved from the ego of Stan Lee!
8. "Unsecret Society of Super Composites: The Animated Series".
9. "The Composite Superman Begins" movie, in which I am portrayed in each successive frame by every male actor in SAG!
10. The return of civilization's most dire venue for the forced juxtaposition of characters in a joint appearance, The Brave & Bold! What? Oh. Okay ... one down, nine to go...