Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Not Tonight; I Have a Haiku

If you're not enjoying All-Star Batman, why aren't you reading "Batman and The Monster Men"?

It's Matt Wagner's near perfect retelling of Batman's first clash with Hugo Strange. Great insight into all the characters, logical plot developments, fun art. And, after sixtyish years, Julie Madison has finally blossomed as a great character, someone I actually believe young Bruce Wayne would date.

By the way, Bruce Wayne is so cool, that when he denies you a night of passion, he does it politely and in haiku:
I apologize.
I would love to spend the night
in your arms again.

AND he makes you feel good about yourself in the process. That's how it's done.

Remember that the next time you turn down an offer from a sexy and intelligent red-haired heiress who wants you badly.

Meanwhile, care to contribute a relevant haiku of your own on the coolness of Bruce, this situation, or the idea of turning down pouty-lipped Julie Madison to go find gnomish Hugo Strange?


Anonymous said...

Matt Wagner's Batman
Drawn beautifully, the writing
Is damn near perfect.

Hope that's ok for my first haiku here!

Anonymous said...

I don't do Haiku's.
Honestly I hate Haikus.
Why make me do this?

Why do you do this?
Does a fire inside compel,
you to make me write?

It makes me feel like
a dancing monkey when you
plead for a haiku.

Could not tuesday be
I would like that more.

But instead you ask
for a haiku to be made
on Wagners Batman.

First we must go back
to my first Matt Wagner book.
Trinity it's called.

So glorious it
was that I had to pick it
up at the comic shop.

His Batman was great.
No non-sense, ass kicking great.
It made me cry, hard.

I apologize.
I shall now hopefully make
a haiku for you.

Did the last line rhyme?
"Haiku for you" Hey it did!
Rolls off the tounge, no?

Oh! Yeah back to work.
I must create a haiku
on Wagners Batman.

Ah I have one now!
A haiku worthy to read
to any comic geek!

"Screw the Female ilk!
Bruce likes him some short geinus
monster making ass."

AHHHH! Dear lord I am
So very extremely sorry
for this insane post.

This poor little man
has far to much time on his
pale zombie like hands.

Diamondrock said...

Wagner: brilliant
But there's one question I have:
Wasn't Strange taller?

Anonymous said...

Haven't read it yet.
I got me a baby boy.
Can't buy new comics.*

Ultimately, I'll
Take "goo" and "da-da" o'er "biff!"
"Bam!" "Pow!" anyday.

*except for birthdays & holidays, and the very rare cash influx.

Scipio said...

Congratulations, Mike! I hope little "Kal-El" is doing well...

Anonymous said...

Thank you! I should point out that His Royal Highness Emperor Connor Joseph Loughlin the First began his reign almost 13 months ago, so he's not brand new. This was just my first legitimate chance to mention him in context; ah, the power of the haiku!

My wife rejected Kal-El outright (as well as "She-Hulk" if the baby was a girl). Philistine!

Bully said...

Batman let Julie
Sleep over at Wayne Manor
She must be tired.

Anonymous said...

It's Matt Wagner's near perfect retelling of Batman's first clash with Hugo Strange.

I haven't read the new series, but Batman's actual first clash with Hugo Strange didn't involve monster-men. They came along in Batman's second fight with Hugo. Maybe Wagner's series incorporates both stories, I don't know.

Anonymous said...

I'd love to love you,
But I must go like the wind
To fight goonish thugs.

Des said...

Shagging you would be
great but I have to battle
a bald lunatic.

Sorry 'bout your luck!
You're just not deranged enough
to see socially.

Bubblegum Tate said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Poor crazy Hugo
Growing his giant ape-men.
He just wants a friend.

Des said...

I've had two Feature
Haikus, Scipio. What now,
you ask? Disneyland!

Anonymous said...

Julie, you're the best
But I have got to choke a
Squinty wee bald guy


I gots nothin'. Can we do one about Hourman next week?

Jake said...

"Can I spend the night?"
"What are you, babe? Retarded?
I'm goddamn Batman!"