I am thankful I do not have a pal like Jimmy Olsen.
Or know anyone like Jimmy Olsen. Or even believe that anyone like Jimmy Olsen exists.
Because that would cause me to shoot them, violating my personal code against killing, and sending me to prison for life, where I would have to barter with prison guards for my supply of comic books. Not that there's anything wrong with that, mind you.
Somebody needs to kill that little punk. In continuity. (sentence fragment) And since we all know that comic book deaths never last, I want to make Jimmy's murder a yearly event.
Every, oh say, January, Jimmy is brutally slaughtered. The following month, it's revealed that the Jimmy that got killed was a robot/alien shapeshifter/actor hired by Dr. Domino/whathaveyou, or he's brought back to life by the Spectre/continuity-altering time travel event/tap-dancing walruses/Voodoo gynaecologists/etcetera. Then the cycle can begin anew.
It's not that I don't want to have Jimmy around, it's just that I want to see him graphically dismembered on panel.
I am not insane, I swear.
Wow. "Personal Beatle Wig." I'm just speechless. It's clear that in my ill-spent youth (that is, now), mired in this Post-Crisis world as I am, I have missed many shining stars--both glorious and terrible...
And yet some of you want to bring back the Silver Age. Tsk tsk tsk.
Hey, even SUPERHEROES got into Beatles fandom:
It could be worse...
Jimmy could be a little kid in trunks...
Huh. My link didn't work.
Here's the pic again, from another site:
The hell with you all - Jimmy Olsen is AWESOME!
Is this period of Jimmy Olsen an honest to God attempt to connect with the "youth of today" circa 1964 by writers well and truly too old to really "dig" the "hep?"
(I'm not sure it that's real slang either.)
Or is Jimmy SUPPOSED to be written as a treeemendous freakin' nimrod?
Or some weird combination of both.
In the next panel (this is true), the doorbell rings and Jimmy says,
"Oh-oh! Someone at the door! It could be my girlfriend, lucy! I'd better hide this hairpiece. She might think the Beatle-wig fad is silly!"
In other words, Jimmy kind of knows he's a nimrod.
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