Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Armed and Dangerous
Of all the shockers in this week's comics
--and they are many and powerful--
none is so great, I think, as the revelation that whoever drew and edited JLA 119 apparently doesn't read any other DC books, since there sits the Matter Master ... with two arms, instead of just one! This, even though Hawkman quite famously hacked it off recently and Matter Master has been seen -- repeatedly -- in the major crossover books with only one arm left. Tsk!
The REAL shocker is of course the Martian Manhunter's discovery that there is in fact one single figure behind all the universe-shattering disasters we're reading about in all the DC crossovers, a single figure who has never acquiesced to being banished from the DCU, and whose incomparable power and intelligence will result in a triumphant return, despite the consequences for the DC universe(s?):
Ha, no, just kidding; that was my theory, but, alas....
But Devon of Seven Hells, Devon who erreth not, Devon the Cassandra of Comic Books, has known all along. He's known for a year. He tried to tell us all, but no one would listen.
He'd never brag, so I'll do it for him: Devon is the greatest analyst of comic book storylines I have ever met. Devon could kick the butts of the Mystery Analysts of Gotham, the Elongated Man, and Hamilton Drew while simultaneously operating a cash register. Devon makes Roy Raymond look like Ronnie Raymond. What the Martian friggin' Manhunter and "I'm-the-goddam" Batman have only begun to get the slightest inkling of, Devon has known forever, purely through his own intelligence and deductive reasoning. I hate him so deeply it makes my teeth hurt.
I won't tell you the answer; I don't have the RIGHT to. But go over to Seven Hells and send Devon a message demanding that HE show you the proof of who is behind it all, and how long he's known about it.
And when he answers ....
make sure you're sitting down.