" Jim Keefe.
"I'm hear to warn you consumers. There are knock-offs out there, other blond earthmen mysteriously transported to distant planets where they regularly save a beautiful love interest whose father is a brilliant scientist. Don't be fooled by imitations!
"I'm also here to support my good friends, the Thanagarians, in their recent interplanetary police actions. Hey, nobody knows better than the original space hero Flash Gordon that sometimes you have to kick some tail to keep the universe a decent place, safe from insidious aliens who evince far too many of the Seven Deadly Signs of Evil!
"That's just what the keen Thanagarians (who, with their decorative yet functional wings remind me fondly of my friends, the Bird Men of Mongo) are doing in their recent attempts to correct the depredations of the incense-sniffing elite of Rann.
"Support my friends and yours, the Thanagarian people, and don't be fooled by cheap imitations of me!"