Tuesday, August 14, 2007

I'm Not Saying He's GAY, exactly...

... but, have you ever seen the Martian Manhunter dance?

Okay, you straight people may have never seen this sort of thing, but J'onn's what we call a 'dervish', one of those guys whose idea of dancing is twirling around in one place on the dance floor. Not one cool little Jackson 5 turnaround in the midst of other dancing. No, no. We're talking spinning; Stevie Nicks, Tonya Harding, Tasmanian Devil kind of stuff.

That's a Martian Corkscrew, actually.
Wait, wasn't that what Jon Carey was drinking at the last podcast...?

Puh-LEASE, Mary!

I bet he thinks this song is about him.

So, are you really shocked J'onn dances with his arms in the air?

No, really; it's not possible to exaggerate how often J'onn decides that twirling is the best solution to his problem.

Once you go Venusian, you never go back, they say.

If stuff like this happens daily in Whereversville, I want to live there, too.

J'onn J'onnz, the Martian Repo Man.

You decide: Sound effect or editor's note?


Anonymous said...

Huh. I never figured J'onn would be a top.

Anonymous said...

He certainly went for the Greenwich Village approach to Martian Male Pattern Baldness well ahead of everyone else (except Lex Luthor...hmmm...)

Chance said...

I am indeed astounded at the number of times he twirls and/or flaps his arms. Especially since he never actually needs to (could just lift the safe and fly, etc).

Wayne Allen Sallee said...

Yes, but could he "helicopter" that building anyplace if it was on fire?

Jon said...

I was drinking cold medicine. Maybe that's a Martian Corkscrew somewhere. - I don't know, I get the feeling we go to different bars.

Siskoid said...

So he was the original Red Tornemo.

Anonymous said...

There's one question I'm sure is on everybody's mind during your in-depth examination of J'Onn J'Onzz's career.

Namely, where does Martler the Martian Dictator fit into all this?

(Come on, you remember Martler. He was a Martian who idolized Adolf Hitler and gathered an army of Solazis to conquer Mars and then Earth. He was stopped by the combined efforts of Superman and Orson Welles.)

SallyP said...

J'onn J'onnz is manly enough to dance any way that he wants to!

Patrick C said...

Could J'onn not fly originally? He needs to human, er, martian helicopter himself up? And even if he's helicoptering buildings around, it seems like he's just standing on top of the building. Do Martians have super foot-suction to hold onto a building?

(Of course they do, but they can only use their foot suction powers once!)

(Confirmation word: zwuwkw, or the sound the martians suction foot makes when he releases the building)

Scipio said...

"could just lift the safe and fly,"

The classic Martian Manhunter cannot fly.
He approximates it through applications of other powers like spinning and Martian breath.