Monday, August 20, 2007

Be My Thug!

Sorry I'm not a lot of fun right now, but I'm still glowing with pain, which makes witty badinage about comic book panels and insightful analysis of structures within the medium unlikely. Or, perhaps I should say, unlikelier. (If you want some of that tune in to the new episode of the Big Monkey Podcast, and meet Black Manta's new pet.)

But I can craft. If you think I'm the kind of person who lies around watching the television, think again. I'm making some person tokens for Heroclix games: lots of little crooks and goons to help out the villains. The templates are all laid out, but I'm missing just one thing: pictures of crooks and goons.

Now, I could just use photos from movies and such, downloaded from the internet. But that doesn't seem quite fun enough...

This is where you come in. Send me a picture of YOURSELF looking particularly crooked or goonish and I will make YOU into a pog (much as I did for Officers Garling and Sanders). Then I will put the finished products up here on the blog for all to see and print out. Then you too can have the privilege of being kayoed by the Caped Crusaders or crippled by Green Arrow.

Oh, and these pogs are game-legal (well, except for the whole "retired figures" thing). Each one is based on an actual pre-existing Token in Heroclix, so they are playable.

The goon tokens you can submit your photo for are listed below. There are several "rules" for the photos. Please...
  • Be appropriately attired for the token you want to portray.
  • Don't smile, unless it's a nasty smile. You know, like a leer or a smirk.
  • Brings your guns. Real guns. HUGE extra points for having a gun in the photo.
  • Have a background that is colorwise very distinct and different from the part of photo that is you. Otherwise, it will be too hard for me to get rid of the background in Photoshop.
  • Extra points if you send me a Photoshop file with the background already eliminated.
  • Photos should be in color, if at all possible.
  • Photos should be pretty much from the waist up. Just a head shot is too little and a full body shot is too much.
  • If your photo is sufficiently fabulous, but doesn't quite match with one of the tokens below, I'll may make up one to go with it. You want to be "the Moll" or "the Patsy" or "the Underling" or "the Lunatic?? Sell me on it with your pic!

(ones with * should not have guns in the pic, because that token has no range)
  1. The Scrapper* (he's fast in a fight)
  2. The Gashouser* (he's bigger than the Scrapper, but still fast)
  3. The Dirty Cop (extra points for raincoat or cheesy moustache)
  4. The Gunsel (look weaselly; gunsels are always weaselly. The Gunsel has Stealth).
  5. The Black Belt* (Ariel...?)
  6. The Lieutenant (the boss's number one guy. Should not be hefty, because he'll have Leap/Climb)
  7. "Two-Gun" (I don't care if you're a grandmother of four, if you can get two real pistols in your hands in the pic, then you are Two-Gun)
  8. The Gunwoman (in a pantsuit, I should think)
  9. The Gunman (what's the male equivalent of a pants suit?)
  10. The Slugger* (maybe with a baseball bat...?)
  11. The Gunslinger (he watches the Country/Western channel)
  12. Yojimbo (Asian guy, black suit)
  13. The Punk Kid* (if you're a bit long in the tooth, I'll just take off the 'kid' part)
  14. The Hireling* (he's a little nervous but he needs the money)
  15. The Running Dog (this guy is very good but very hyper, kind of wild-eyed)
  16. The Hoodlum* (extra points for a hoodie or a 'newsie cap')
  17. The Enforcer* (this guy looks ... unpleasant)
  18. The Bruiser* (this guy is big but slow)
  19. The Tough Guy* (this one has Toughness, so please look you could actually take a punch to the face without falling over)
  20. Judo Guy* ("I paid Joon Rhee good money for those classes and now is my chance to show off for the boss!)
  21. Judo Gal* ("I am totally going to show up that jackass, Judo Guy!")


Anonymous said...

Black Belt it is!

Brian Gleine said...

I stumbled across this and figured you'd get a kick out of it:

Derek said...

I... fit none of those.


I guess I'm just not cut out for a life of crime.

Marcos said...

Wait. . . the Gunslinger doesn't have range?

Scipio said...

Ah, that's a mistake, Marcos. I'll fix that.

Derek, send me a pic, and maybe I'll think of something to go with it.

Scipio said...

I'm already getting pics, and, heavens to murgatroyd, I had no idea my readers were such a cruel and criminal looking lot; yay!

My plan is to post one of these every Sunday, and I already have several that are just perfect.

By the way, I'd love some of my fellow bloggers to be part of this project.

Jeremy, I know you're reading this, and I know you could be the Running Dog or the Hireling.

Jon, you could be the Scrapper; Jonnie, the Hoodlum; Ben, the Dirty Cop.

Nate said...

Alright, after going through my collection last night, I can't decide. Should I go Dirty Harry or 70's Stallone Cop for you?

Will a nice black 9mm look better on the pog or a bright chrome 38?

Scipio said...

Why not do one of each, Nate?

Oh, and if you have a black 9mm AND a chrome 38 lying around the house...

I will NOT be telling you what to do.

Still, the general rule is that guns are like bowties, and should be the opposite color of your outfit. White tie goes with black tails; chrome gun goes with dark suit. Black tie goes with white dinner jacket; black gun goes with light suit or casual attire.

Consider donning a suit and trying for The Crime Lieutenant, because you look Cruelly Intelligent, Ruthless, and Agile. And I mean that as a compliment.

The Shadow said...

Oh Lord, this is going to be fun.

Scipio said...

It's already is; I've got four in the hopper, ready to post!

Which one are YOU going to do?

Chance said...

I've got a gun, but I don't own any clothes that look nice enough to be a hired goon. I'm more the mugger in the alley type.

Scipio said...

We'll make it work, Chance; just send the pic and I'll come up with something.

acespot said...

Nate, if you could work it out with your attire, you could easily be a goon for two-face. One side black, the other chrome? Sweet!

MaGnUs said...

Did you receive my e-mail, Scipio?

Scipio said...

Yes, but I'm out of armed tokens. Do you have something like that without the gun?

Really, I'm quite astonished how many of my readers own guns. Perhaps I need to remember the next time I'm tempted to make a curt reply to a comment...!

Scipio said...

In case anyone is still checking this I have received idea submissions for and created the following tokens:

The Dirty Cop (Alan Mott)
Detective on the Take (Josh Unruh)
The Lieutenant (Nate Solloway)
The Gunman (Michael Conway)
The Slugger (Ben Wynne)
Yojimbo (Eugene Chee)
The Running Dog (Andrew Carl)

Come on, the others are almost all gunless... they should be easy!

MaGnUs said...

I'm afraid I don't fit many of the gunless ones... would you settle for a swordman (katana or saber)in a black trench and hat for any of them?

Maybe a big Tough Guy, Bruiser, or Punk with the Cobra t-shirt and the goggles (with my tattooed arm showing, and if needed, a punk hairdo? I have a sort of mohawk)?