Friday, October 28, 2005

Simon's Snake

Simon Stagg, genius,

is the greatest comic book character of all time.
Here's one of the many reasons:

Pet snake. BIG pet snake. Slithering with symbolic power.

Such a snake can choke even a big strong caveman like Java!

The most fabulous thing about the whole scene?
The snake is never mentioned, before, during, or after.
It's a just a throwaway.

Just what the heck was Bob Haney on, anyway?


Anonymous said...

Compensate much Simon?

Bully said...

Simon Stagg is where Voldemort got all his ideas from.

Well, the snake-strangling–your–minions–ideas.

Harvey Jerkwater said...

For all you film fans out there, Stagg's "twenty-foot long strangling lap snake" reminded me of a classic of crap cinema:

Jamaa Fanaka's also known as "Welcome Home, Brother Charles."

I would
explain the plot in detail, but modesty forbids. All I will say is that the protagonist of "Soul Vengeance" disposes of his enemies by strangling them with his...twenty-foot long lap snake...and he doesn't have a pet. Ahem.

Despite this premise, the movie is played straight as a heart attack. It's supposed to be a political statement. I believe the phrase "you must see it to believe it" applies to this movie.

(Sorry to move away from comics. Simon's priapic antic flooded me with memories of the movie. Let us never speak of it again.)

Harvey Jerkwater said...

Whoop--tag problems.

The movie is called both "Soul Vengeance" and "Welcome Home Brother Charles." Either way, it's terrible. Yet you cannot turn away...

There are supposed to be two links; one on the name of the movie and one on "plot in detail." The second link provides screencaps of this magnum...opus.

Please excuse the double post. Dang HTML tags.

Scipio said...

Wow. I just...


Thank you, Harvey. Because of all you Absorbacommandos, I learn something new every day.

Anonymous said...

Simon Stagg is where Voldemort got all his ideas from.

Not only that, Wolverine stole his haircut.

Anonymous said...

Just what the heck was Bob Haney on, anyway?

With every Metamorpho story I read, I ask that question more & more. It's brilliant, messed-up stuff.