This morning, DC announces a bunch of new miniseries, updating 'classic characters'.
In 2016, DC will launch Swamp Thing, Metal Men, Raven, Firestorm, Katana: Cult of the Kobra, Metamorpho and Sugar & Spike. Some of the series will be written by the characters' original creators
Now, there's a lot I could talk about here...
but this is the only thing I WILL talk about:
Not Katana. As dumb as that character is, it's clear they aren't going to leave her be, so contextualizing her with Kobra (and even dumber character of the same type) makes some sense.
No, not Katana.
That THING above her. Which can only be:
HALO.
Hated, horrible Halo.
I can't WAIT.
Showing posts with label Halo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Halo. Show all posts
Monday, July 06, 2015
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Alpha & Omega
So, someone asked me whether I'd buy a team-up of the Golden Age Starman, comics' greatest character, with Halo, comics' worst character, and what I thought would happen in such a story.

The answers were easy:
I already did, over 20 years ago.
They saved Peacemaker.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Madness of Queen Jean: Editor's Interlude
Back when they wrote stories like "Queen Jean, Why Must We Die?", comic books had an amazing institution called the "Letter Column" (leh-tuhr cohl-uhm). It was kind of like a message board where you could comment on recent comics. But with some incredible differences:
Amazing, huh?
Anyway, in the Letter Column of the comic book that contains "Queen Jean, Why Must We Die?", there's a letter commenting on a recent issue of Atom-Hawkman, the one with the first appearances of that groovy ghoulie the Gentleman Ghost.


The letter-writer enjoys heroes who lose their temper and act out, generational fear and distrust, and betrayal by friends. But little-bitty flying spheres (you know, like the kind that float around Mr. Terrific?) he finds too hard to swallow.
Who could that be?

Perhaps, the kind of person who would have Batman angrily turn his back on his friends in the Justice League to form and manipulate a group of younger heroes? Yes, it was...
- It had a moderator who weeded out stupid comments.
- The moderator was an editor at DC Comics (!!!).
- People had to use words, instead of emoticons.
- It was actually in the comic itself, so that other readers would all see it.
- The moderator/editor himself would actually sometimes REPLY to your comment.
Amazing, huh?
Anyway, in the Letter Column of the comic book that contains "Queen Jean, Why Must We Die?", there's a letter commenting on a recent issue of Atom-Hawkman, the one with the first appearances of that groovy ghoulie the Gentleman Ghost.


The letter-writer enjoys heroes who lose their temper and act out, generational fear and distrust, and betrayal by friends. But little-bitty flying spheres (you know, like the kind that float around Mr. Terrific?) he finds too hard to swallow.
Who could that be?

Perhaps, the kind of person who would have Batman angrily turn his back on his friends in the Justice League to form and manipulate a group of younger heroes? Yes, it was...
ENEMY OF SOCIETY MIKE W. BARR,
CREATOR OF HALO THE OUTSIDER
AND PERPETRATOR OF
NUMBERLESS OTHER LITERARY CRIMES
CREATOR OF HALO THE OUTSIDER
AND PERPETRATOR OF
NUMBERLESS OTHER LITERARY CRIMES
Sunday, September 09, 2007
The Gunman
Next in our on-going series of goon tokens to assist your villainous Heroclix figures is the classic Gunman.
The Gunman gets its stats from the Sarge Steel pog (and very nice stats they are, too, particularly for only 8 points).
Perhaps you don't want to spend a 100 points on tokens every game, but there are worst investments than a handful of Gunmen. Don't underestimate the amount of damage some Gunmen can do to the host of figures without any damage-reducing powers. Black Lightning, Alan Scott, Mister Miracle, Batman, Halo, et al.-- they could all get shot by the Gunman.
Especially Halo. Repeatedly.
And who is our charming model for this token? The Gunman is Michael "the Mutt" Conway, who's currently wanted on multiple counts of Assault with a Deadly Weapon and Generally Looking Really Mean. You wouldn't know it to look at him, but Mike's a thespian. Of course, if you call him that to his face, you'll be eating bullets for breakfast.

Mike earns a really nice living using human beings for target practice, but he still shaves his head with a broken bottle, not to save money, but just because he likes the feel of it.
Mike the Mutt looks like he lives in a bad neighborhood, but there's one nice thing about it: no squirrels. Not any more.

Perhaps you don't want to spend a 100 points on tokens every game, but there are worst investments than a handful of Gunmen. Don't underestimate the amount of damage some Gunmen can do to the host of figures without any damage-reducing powers. Black Lightning, Alan Scott, Mister Miracle, Batman, Halo, et al.-- they could all get shot by the Gunman.
Especially Halo. Repeatedly.
And who is our charming model for this token? The Gunman is Michael "the Mutt" Conway, who's currently wanted on multiple counts of Assault with a Deadly Weapon and Generally Looking Really Mean. You wouldn't know it to look at him, but Mike's a thespian. Of course, if you call him that to his face, you'll be eating bullets for breakfast.

Mike earns a really nice living using human beings for target practice, but he still shaves his head with a broken bottle, not to save money, but just because he likes the feel of it.
Mike the Mutt looks like he lives in a bad neighborhood, but there's one nice thing about it: no squirrels. Not any more.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Keep Your Head in the Game
My original plan for today was to post my next "Least Likely to Change" installment, but something happened today to change that.
Today, I received in the mail my latest shipment of customized Heroclix.
Dale, whom you will recognize as frequent commenter "Totaltoyz", made me a nice group of clix that Wizkids hasn't gotten around to making you and probably never will.
I got Argus. I think he's an underused part of the Flash Family, as in both the comics and Heroclix, that team could use somebody who has a schtick that isn't dependent on superspeed. He's on an
I got the Rainbow Raider (surfing the spectrum with stolen painting in arm), because, well, it's funny. Besides putting him on an Experienced Halo amuses me. I enjoy dissing characters I don't like by stealing their dials for demeaning customs. Especially Halo.
I adore the Busiek-style Prankster (armed with Kryptonite Custard Pie). He's on a very capable 107 point Joker dial, so he'll be a very worthy addition to the new Superman enemies coming out in the Justice League set.
I also got Mr. & Mrs. Menace, the Sportsmaster and the Golden Age Huntress. I love those two. We'll see how well they do against Rookie Alan Scott and Rookie Wildcat!
I got Dr. Impossible (because I helped name him), hilarious prehawkified Northwind (because he's just so fabulously faggy), and, of course, the Awesome Threesome of Torpedo-Man, Magnet-o, and Claw
Oh, and just to give Aquaman a spot of extra trouble, I had "Devil Ray" from JLU made to act as an evil sidekick for Black Manta.
I even got a set of four G.O.O.N.s (surely you remember the Grand Order of Occidental Nighthawks?). Each wears a black derby and a turtleneck that says G.O.O.N. on it. They carry such deadly weapons as brass knuckles (nice touch, Dale!), pistols, a black round bomb that says "BOMB" on it, and an umbrella. Caped Crusader beware!
Ordinarily I would thank Dale for his amazing work (really, the pictures don't do these things justice) by email, but this time I am moved to do so publicly in a post. You should check out his Ebay page and order some custom clix of your own!
Dale also
Naturally, I privately pooh-poohed this warning; you know how artists are about their work. My mistake. I did, in fact, stagger to couch with this surprise figure in hand, gasping for breath. I don't have a camera good enough to take a photo of it, but perhaps Dale will provide us with some.
It's 23 points. It has Charge and Leap/Climb. It has four clicks of life. Well... not life, really.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Custom Quartet
Remember voting a while ago on the next Heroclix that I should have custom-made?
Here are some of what you voted for!
Don't remember him? Aw, sure ya do! Argus is one of the two or three acceptable leftovers from the Bloodlines crossover. Argus sits on an experienced Azrael dial; I mean, it's not like I'd ever use Azrael! Argus lives in Keystone and will augment my Flash teams (which have very little variety in their abilities!)
Cal Durham is the former Black Manta sidekick who went legit and was part of the extended Aquateam; nowadays, he's the mayor of Sub Diego. Naturally, Cal will help provide more options for my underwater games.
A Classic foe of the Golden Age Green Lantern and, of course, the star of the Greatest Story Ever Told. Sure, he may seem a little goofy, but none who used to fight Alan Scott to a standstill is a lightweight. So, he sits on a Veteran Taskmaster's dial, making him a nasty piece of work and one that could, with a bit a luck, actually take a chunk out of the original GL.
Really; what can be said about the Rainbow Raider that hasn't been said already? Besides, the Flash Rogues need some more muscle and he's actually pretty powerful.
Did I have him made because I love Rainbow Raider? No. He sits on a Halo dial. I had him made just because I hate Halo that much.
Here are some of what you voted for!
ARGUS
CAL DURHAM
THE SPORTSMASTER

THE RAINBOW RAIDER
Did I have him made because I love Rainbow Raider? No. He sits on a Halo dial. I had him made just because I hate Halo that much.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
"Haloes belong with the angels, kiddo..."
As some of you may know, the fabulous new DC Heroclix set, Origin, came out recently. In my part of town, we celebrated publicly with a marquee tournament at Big Monkey, whose highlights included a player pulling one of the four extremely rare "chase" figures (specifically, Hippolyta).
Privately, we debuted the set at my house last Monday with a heavyweight grudge match between Devon "Charge is My Middle Name" Sanders and Glen "My Plan Can Only Fail If I Roll a Two" Weldon.
It's always a clash of styles between those two. Devon lurks behind trees, then leaps out screaming to smack you in the face with some sacrificial berserker; once the damage is done he sends out his Untouched Secondary Attacker he's been holding in reserve to KO whoever remains. Meanwhile, Glen, who was graduated My Great Attack-a from the Wile E. Coyote School of Strategy, is preparing byzantine four-part maneuvers involving a minimum of three mental powers, two feat cards, one team ability, and a Dane Dorrance pog -- schemes so brilliant, in fact, that they can fail only if Glen rolls a 5 or less twice in a row, which he does almost every turn.
When Devon laid out his team on the board -- Wildcat, Hawkman, Catman, Blackhawk, and Mister Miracle -- he feigned to be innocently composing a team entirely of figures from the new set. But it was obvious what he was really up to: it was one of his Testosterone Teams. If you know Devon's style of play, his merely placing those figures on the board said: "I am the Dale Gunn of Earth Prime and your team is about to be drowned in Aqua Velva."
Glen, just as subtly, said simply, "Oh; well, then..." and placed his team on the board:
Supergirl, Wonder Girl, Triplicate Girl, and Halo, saying, in essence, "I can trounce you with a team of teenage blondes."
Oh, it was on. Very on.
I knew what I needed to do; I removed the breakables, sent the dog to the bedroom, and got a pad and pen to take notes with.
The Girls dealt the Boys a swift initial smackdown. In their opening salvos, Halo and Supergirl kayoed Devon's avatar, Hawkman; meanwhile, Glen, master of psychological warfare, sipped his cosmo and chatted about manga influences in Miss Martian's costume design. The whole thing couldn't have been better calculated to demoralize Devon, although I thought Glen went too far when he blew his nose on an issue of DC Presents Lady Cop.
Who needs to go see 300?, I thought; this is a battle. Glen's Girls had additional successes; Halo blasted Wildcat for 3 clicks and Blackhawk for 5, proving that war is Halo.

But, much to his credit, Devon kept his cool, ingeniously using Mr. Miracle to make the Girls vulnerable even to attacks by his weaker characters, like Catman and Blackhawk. A lesser man would have given up; I surely would have, and at one point I urged Devon to concede that he had lost. But he persevered and, through clever use of his figures, wound up with his last one, Wildcat, kayoing Glen's last figure, the upstart Halo.
The moral?
What? You were expecting, "Never give up; never surrender"?
Anyway, this post introduces a new feature here at the Absorbascon: Theme Teams on Parade, in which I will offer Heroclix Theme Teams of my own devising. Look for it.
Privately, we debuted the set at my house last Monday with a heavyweight grudge match between Devon "Charge is My Middle Name" Sanders and Glen "My Plan Can Only Fail If I Roll a Two" Weldon.
It's always a clash of styles between those two. Devon lurks behind trees, then leaps out screaming to smack you in the face with some sacrificial berserker; once the damage is done he sends out his Untouched Secondary Attacker he's been holding in reserve to KO whoever remains. Meanwhile, Glen, who was graduated My Great Attack-a from the Wile E. Coyote School of Strategy, is preparing byzantine four-part maneuvers involving a minimum of three mental powers, two feat cards, one team ability, and a Dane Dorrance pog -- schemes so brilliant, in fact, that they can fail only if Glen rolls a 5 or less twice in a row, which he does almost every turn.
When Devon laid out his team on the board -- Wildcat, Hawkman, Catman, Blackhawk, and Mister Miracle -- he feigned to be innocently composing a team entirely of figures from the new set. But it was obvious what he was really up to: it was one of his Testosterone Teams. If you know Devon's style of play, his merely placing those figures on the board said: "I am the Dale Gunn of Earth Prime and your team is about to be drowned in Aqua Velva."
Glen, just as subtly, said simply, "Oh; well, then..." and placed his team on the board:

Supergirl, Wonder Girl, Triplicate Girl, and Halo, saying, in essence, "I can trounce you with a team of teenage blondes."
Oh, it was on. Very on.
I knew what I needed to do; I removed the breakables, sent the dog to the bedroom, and got a pad and pen to take notes with.
The Girls dealt the Boys a swift initial smackdown. In their opening salvos, Halo and Supergirl kayoed Devon's avatar, Hawkman; meanwhile, Glen, master of psychological warfare, sipped his cosmo and chatted about manga influences in Miss Martian's costume design. The whole thing couldn't have been better calculated to demoralize Devon, although I thought Glen went too far when he blew his nose on an issue of DC Presents Lady Cop.
Who needs to go see 300?, I thought; this is a battle. Glen's Girls had additional successes; Halo blasted Wildcat for 3 clicks and Blackhawk for 5, proving that war is Halo.
But, much to his credit, Devon kept his cool, ingeniously using Mr. Miracle to make the Girls vulnerable even to attacks by his weaker characters, like Catman and Blackhawk. A lesser man would have given up; I surely would have, and at one point I urged Devon to concede that he had lost. But he persevered and, through clever use of his figures, wound up with his last one, Wildcat, kayoing Glen's last figure, the upstart Halo.
The moral?
Heroclix is more fun when you play theme teams, rather than just teams designed perfectly for winning.
What? You were expecting, "Never give up; never surrender"?
Anyway, this post introduces a new feature here at the Absorbascon: Theme Teams on Parade, in which I will offer Heroclix Theme Teams of my own devising. Look for it.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Hell-oclix
My brethren, I seek to warn you that Hell hath arrived on Earth, and it cometh in three flavors.



The traitorous god of the Old Testament who promised with the rainbow never to destroy mankind again now sendeth a rainbow to lay waste to humanity: Halo the Heroclix.
This is how it endeth, folks. The Three Flavors of Evil. The Brides of Abnegazar, Rath, and Ghast. The Powerpuff Hurls. The Triadic Popsicles of Doom.
Blueberry

Cherry

and Pineapple

The traitorous god of the Old Testament who promised with the rainbow never to destroy mankind again now sendeth a rainbow to lay waste to humanity: Halo the Heroclix.
This is how it endeth, folks. The Three Flavors of Evil. The Brides of Abnegazar, Rath, and Ghast. The Powerpuff Hurls. The Triadic Popsicles of Doom.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Merry Clixmas
The list of characters appearing in the next set of DC Heroclix figures (called "Origin") was made public knowledge yesterday (see list below).
Numbers 1- 78 are "REVs"; those are (usually) one sculpt that appears on three different levels of dial (Rookie, Experienced, and Veteran), each with its own stats and powers. The last twelve are "Uniques"; they have only one dial.
#01-03 Blackhawks (Stanislaus/Hendrickson/Blackhawk)
Numbers 1- 78 are "REVs"; those are (usually) one sculpt that appears on three different levels of dial (Rookie, Experienced, and Veteran), each with its own stats and powers. The last twelve are "Uniques"; they have only one dial.
#01-03 Blackhawks (Stanislaus/Hendrickson/Blackhawk)
Well, this will make Devon happy. This is a clever use of the REV. Instead of each level representing a different stage of one person's career, they represent different persons wearing the same uniform. I happened to know Totaltoyz is working on a custom Lady Blackhawk you can buy to complement these guys.#04-06 Phantom Lady
I'm guessing the R and E versions will represent the original streetfighter Phantom Lady; not being very powerful, those would be lower point figures, explaining why she's in the second lowest slot. Perhaps there will be a high-point Veteran who is the new Phantom Lady in all her extradimensional glory.#07-09 Robotman (Cliff Steele)
Ah, Cliff Steele, DC's answer to Ben Grimm. I assume he'll just be a "tank", with powers like Charge and Superstrength. I hope against hope that he'll be wearing a jacket and boots like Morrison put him in; somebody who originally had a human body would feel funny running around naked even after getting a robot body instead.#10-12 Ray
Will the sculpt make creative use of translucent plastic? I'm assuming the Ray will bring Flight and Superspeed to the Freedom Fighters team, which will help put them on the map figuratively and literally.#13-15 Wildcat
Another gift for Devon. I'm curious what's on his dial that would make his Rookie worth more points that the Ray or Robotman! I hope they give him something clever like Enhance or Support; something that gives him value to his teammates, rather than just a slugger.#16-18 Damage
Yay; I always thought he was so hot; there aren't a lot of short guys in comics. I used to think he just blew up, but judging from the recent issue of Justice Society, he's got Superstrength and Toughness too. Will his team abilities be Titans on the Rookie, Outsiders on the Experienced (the Outsiders Team ability, which has to do with immunity to Perplex, is being shared by the members of the Doom Patrol), and JSA on the Veteran? I hope they use his purple and orange costume; I liked that one.#19-21 Halo
Sigh.#22-24 Mano
Another potentially cool use of translucent plastic for his head bubble. Giving the extraordinary power of his hand, I'm thinking he'll have Quake and Exploit Weakness. Now we'll have all of the Fatal Five except for Tharok, and the Brainiac Unique can fill in for him until he arrives.#25-27 Shadow Thief
I cannot imagine how bizarre this sculpt might be. But finally we have some Hawkman villains to work with! And I can't wait to pit him against Manhunter or Firestorm.#28-30 Knockout
Another "Chick Brick" with a boring "tank" dial. Still, she'll be fun for those all-female games we sometimes play.#31-33 Copperhead
Can you believe a loser like Copperhead getting a clix, let alone being this high on the list? I tell you, that guy must have a great agent.#34-36 Question
Almost certainly will have Stealth and Perplex, a deadly combination that you previous had to resort to the Atom or the Martian Manhunter to get. I expect to see him lurking around the board a lot. I wonder how a team with him, Captain Atom, and Blue Beetle II would do?#37-39 Animal Man
Like Vixen, he'll probably have one dial that's Aquatic, one that's Airborne, and one that's Grounded. Most players will flavor the flying one, but I'll be all over the Aquatic. Yet another figure to join Aquaman's finny friends on the water map. It will also be a natural teamed with Adam Strange and Starfire (and probably the only way she'll see play at my house).#40-42 Cat-Man
Further proof of the existence of the gods, or, at least, of Gail Simone. Like Copperhead, his Rookie will be marked as a Batman Enemy, so he'll be helping Catwoman out in my Gotham games.#43-35 Booster Gold
Booster was in the first DC set; he was the ideal "taxi" for carrying around other figures (like Blue Beetle). But he didn't have many powers on his dial, and that made him less than thrilling (the Rookie was famous for having no powers at all!). This new one could have all sorts of powers, including Imperviousness, Defend, Deflection, Ranged Combat Expert, Force Blast, Quake, Charge. The real question is: will Skeets play any role in this figure?#46-48 Atom
There was a convention-exclusive Atom with a kick-ass dial for only 50 points, but it had no sculpt on it because you couldn't see the Atom. Cute; cheap, but cute. This REV version will surely have some fun sculpt, maybe something that shows him in the act of shrinking. I hope they capture some of his "leap and smack" action with powers like Leap/Climb, Charge, and Combat Reflexes. Throw in Stealth and Perplex and this could become one of the most popular figures on the board.#49-51 Mirror Master
This is one of the two DC characters people talk about in discussions of "hard powers to duplicate". But apparently they've done a good job. I'm sure he'll be annoyingly hard to hit, and full of Perplex and Phasing. Ordinarily, we don't allow using more than one figure of any particular character in a game, but I'm sure we'll make an exception for the Mirror Master! The Flash family will have to face a whole team of Mirror Masters at some point.#52-54 Triplicate Girl
This is the other figure people talk about in those discussions! But if they made Madrox, they can make Triplicate Girl. I'm intrigued by the fact that she's so high on the list, meaning her Rookie isn't a low-point figure; I expected her to be in one of the lowest slots. I'm guessing that means Perplex on the front of her dial. The Legion is staring to be really interesting as a Heroclix team!#55-57 Supergirl
They already did a Supergirl; I believe she was one of the first DC pieces with Running Shot. But she was marred by a low defense value; if you Outwit her Invulnerability, she falls over like a drugstore spinner rack. I just hope they don't waste one of the new versions by giving it the Outsiders Team ability.#58-60 Hawkman
Maybe they should just call this set "Devon's"; the only thing it's missing is Lady Cop. There was a Hawkman in the original DC set, but he was, frankly, more like Sitting-Duckman. He was always the first to get knocked out, no matter what game he was in. Wizkids apparently set out to fix this problem. His placement high on this list (and some secret inside knowledge I have) tell me that this Hawkman will be feeding lots of opponents their teeth. I hope he has Regeneration courtesy of the Nth Metal!#61-63 Wonder Girl (Cassie Sandmark)
Her absence has been keenly felt on every Wonder Woman team I compose. I look forward to seeing her zappy lasso in action (perhaps as Exploit Weakness). I'll be unhappy if she has no range; the zappy lasso should be worth at least a range of two.#64-66 Cyborg Superman
I had little interest in this character until he became part of the GL rogues gallery. Now the Manhunter robots can go on a team with him and beat the snot out of Hal Jordan. Beating the snot out of Hal Jordan always makes for a fun evening.#67-69 Steel
Thank goodness! The Steel from the original set is still playable, dial-wise, but it's famously ugly. The new one should fix that, because John Henry is a right purdy man. Since it started Heroclix, Wizkids has gotten more clever and subtle in their dials. Nowadays, a smart fighter like Steel might start with heavy combat stats, but later down the dial turn into more of a support player, maybe even have Outwit or Enhancement.#70-72 Mr. Miracle
I've little love for Fourth Worlders, but even I will enjoy seeing Mr. Miracle with Big Barda on the board. Besides, with Phasing, Flight, and a high defense, he'll make a good utility player on JLA teams (but only ones with JLI-era figures!)#73-75 Mon-El/Valor/M'Onel
Oh, yes. Now the Legion is a very different team.#76-78 Green Lantern/Sentinel
Personally, I was hoping for at least a Rookie Alan Scott that wasn't too powerful. Someone who won't completely overshadow a Wildcat. But his placement so high on the REV list makes me think I won't be getting that.#79-81 Shazam!
There have been two Unique Captain Marvels, but an REV is overdue. Simply placing "the wisdom of Solomon" (as represented by Outwit) at different places on his dial, changes the figure's gameplay considerably. And it can always be spiced up with a "Billy Batson" click somewhere on the dial, where Cap is powerless and vulnerable.#82-84 Martian Manhunter/J'onn J'onzz
JJ already has a Unique, but there's way too much going on with him to be represented in just one dial. Really, I'm hard pressed to think of a power you couldn't put on his dial. And REV will give lots of different flavors of J'onn to choose from.#85 Starman (Ted Knight)
This thing better rock the drama. I plan on using it to kick Ultraman's teeth in. This, along with the next one, is what will make it finally possible to field a reasonable JSA Classic, with Starman, Sandman, the real Green Lantern, the real Flash, Wildcat, Hippolyta, Hourman (repainted), Hawkman, and Dr. Fate.#86 Sandman (Wesley Dodds)
It really doesn't matter what it does, does it? As long as it looks really cool standing with Dr. Mid-Nite.#87 Blue Beetle III
Maybe seeing this figure in action will give me some kind of handle on just what Blue Beetle can do. Still, it will never match the fun of using the original Blue Beetle figure to force-blast opponents off of rooftops.#88 Mr. Mind
I just sleep easier knowing that there's a Heroclix of a mass murdering Venusian worm with glasses. Don't you?#89 Jakeem Thunder (and T-Bolt)
This figure will crack the Heroclix world. With an insanely high defense that it can share with other JSAers, Jakeem is going to be a staple on every nigh-undefeatable JSA team from here on in. I'm also thinking it will be a transporter with Phasing, so it can carry other figures around. And how can it not have Probability Control?#90 Gentleman Ghost
Translucent plastic, please! Another hard-to-hit Hawkman foe to hang out with Shadow Thief. Another step closer toward my longed-for all-Hawkman game. I'm predicting that once the new Hawkman is available, the old Hawkman figures will become very popular again, being used as generic Thanagarians. I've already prepared for GG's arrival; I bought some ghostly Horroclix figures to use as his ghost goons.#91 Vandal Savage
Another Evil Mastermind dial that probably won't translate very well, like Kobra and Luthor. He'll have Regeneration, but you may have to ask yourself the question, what are you regenerating for?#92 Johnny Quick (Crime Syndicate)
This will help make the CSA more interesting and leave us only one step (Power Ring) away from replaying Crisis on Earth-3.#93 Negative Woman (Doom Patrol)
Gee, I didn't think anyone even remembered Negative Woman. She'll seem a little odd working with Rita Farr; what's next, Celsius?#94 S.T.R.I.P.E.
Not a fan of Frankenstein Junior, but it will look fun with the Rookie Stargirl.#95 Batman (Golden Age)
A lower-point Batman (like the one in the Icons set) will be lots of fun and see lots of play, particularly against the classic Batman Enemies. Besides, I'm hoping the sculpt is really spooky.#96 Superman (Golden Age)
Now, this will be interesting. A Superman whose power aren't overwhelming. Leap/climb instead of flight; probably no ranged attack. Expect to see him frequently paired with the Golden Age Batman and the Icons Robin on "World's Finest" teams.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Hating Halo

Halo, for those of you blessed by ignorance of her, was a member of "the Outsiders". Because nothing says "outsider" like teenage blondes with rainbow-striped hair and a skating outfit.
Why did the editor not stop this monstrosity? Oh, that's right; the editor was Len Wein. Can't you hear the pitch? "It's Rainbow Raider meets Kitty Pride! It's Rainbow Brite meets Jade! It's Color Kid meets Amethyst!"
It's head meets hammer is what it is.

Halo is an underage re-animated corpse with amnesia. Let's just call that Strike One.
Strike Two: Halo's origin involved not one but two moronic Mike W. Barr homonym-based characters: Syonide and the Aurakles. Didn't I hear them play at Ladies Night at the Black Cat on 14th St.?
It is axiomatic that homonymous characters are stupid. They are based on rhyming, which appeals to the lowest levels of literate humor (naturally, there are lower levels of humor that are subliterate, such as Bodily Function -based humor). Rhyming is for children, who delight in discovery familar sound patterns as they acquire language; nursery rhymes, Dr. Suess, the poetry of Maya Angelou. Nothing in comics is stupider than the "rhyming demon" shtick that poor Etrigan got stuck with. I mean, how bad is it when I feel pity for a Jack Kirby character?

Strike Three: Halo has a spectrum of powers, one for each color of the rainbow. I dare you to say that to non-comic book reader without being embarrassed. I dare you to say that out loud without being embarrassed.
Color-coordinated kryptonite? Okay, that makes some sense; I mean, sapphires and rubies are kind of like that. Color-coordinated emotional spectra and the Green Lanterns' "necessary impurity"? Um... well, marginal, but I'll buy it in a broad metaphorical way. Actual color-based powers including the Purple Ray of Unhealing as wielded by a woman named "Violet"? Shoot me now, then subscribe me to Power Pack and G.I. Joe.
Note that I've reached three strikes just instrinsic to her character;

I'd really like to try to explain to you how much I hate Halo, but I only know about 7 or 8 languages, which means I don't know nearly enough words to attempt the task. The League of Halo-Haters; The Halo Revenge Squad; The Legion of Halo's Doom; I belong to them all.
Here's how much I hate Halo. Some poor mad fool has made a Halo custom Heroclix figure (no doubt as part of his craft therapy at The Home). One of you self-styled Halo-lovers better buy it soon, or in a month or so, I will buy it and set it on my windowsill under a magnifying glass to watch it slowly melt away, as a sort of a Christmas gift to myself...!
So act now; save Halo, save the world.

Friday, July 21, 2006
Ten Things
Ten Things I would find more enjoyable than 52's back-up series, 'the History of the DCU starring Donna Troy' ...
And you....?
1. Jimmy Olsen in a dress.
2. A Day in the Life of Halo.
3. The Spectre and the Phantom Stranger watching the corpse of Orca the Whalewoman rot, with dialog by Brian Michael Bendis.
4. A reunion of all the characters from Bloodlines.
5. The History of Ill-Conceived Characters Created When Editors Were Sleeping, starring Donna Troy.
6. Proty's Penthouse Party.
7. Week after week of Alfred silently polishing the silver at Wayne Manor and dusting the Batcave.
8. Prose-only Lobo/Major Force slash fiction.
9. Gypsy getting a pedicure and foot massage.
10. Reprints of every time the Red Tornado has blown up.
And you....?
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
The Unloved
In discussions about "Character Donations" and what characters should be revived and which forgotten, I've been told more than once: "Remember, every character is someone's favorite."
To which I say...
Balderdash. Poppycock. Piffel.
Now, I understand the sentiment. I, myself, have an appreciation for some characters that many people do not (fools! the utter fools!).
I guess some people's minds just aren't strong to handle the glories of the like of Vibe, the Golden Age Starman, the Penny Plunderer, and THE AWESOME HUMAN FLYING FISH. Their loss!
And when such people prattle on about how such characters are "lame" (usually without any elaboration as to what that means) I can't help but warm up the uzi. So I understand the sentiment ... in principle.
But come now. Halo? Kadaver? Penny Dreadful? The Yazz? Cobalt Blue?
Sleez? Any of the 427 crappy characters created by Threat to Society Mike W. Barr? These are not anyone's favorite characters -- not outside Arkham, anyway.
A character does not need to be anyone's favorite to be a legitimate and useful addition to the DCU. But there should be limits, don't you think? And if so, what are they?
Confess! What characters do YOU love that you get made fun of for loving? I promise not to say a word!
To which I say...
Balderdash. Poppycock. Piffel.

Now, I understand the sentiment. I, myself, have an appreciation for some characters that many people do not (fools! the utter fools!).
I guess some people's minds just aren't strong to handle the glories of the like of Vibe, the Golden Age Starman, the Penny Plunderer, and THE AWESOME HUMAN FLYING FISH. Their loss!
And when such people prattle on about how such characters are "lame" (usually without any elaboration as to what that means) I can't help but warm up the uzi. So I understand the sentiment ... in principle.
But come now. Halo? Kadaver? Penny Dreadful? The Yazz? Cobalt Blue?

A character does not need to be anyone's favorite to be a legitimate and useful addition to the DCU. But there should be limits, don't you think? And if so, what are they?
Confess! What characters do YOU love that you get made fun of for loving? I promise not to say a word!
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Top Five Crisis Makeovers: Batman?!
3. Batman.
Yes. Batman. Oh, it wasn't flashy like the Dr. Light and Firehawk makeovers. And it didn't happen in Crisis on Infinite Earths on panel, but it happened nonetheless.
Let's see what Bat



A wide-eyed goober, superpowerless from the waist down AND the waist up.
Sorry, gang. I'd love to blame Wolfman for this, but I can't. That's really how the Bronze Age Batman was.

In the Bronze Age JLA, even Aquaman could hit hard. But useless (Hi, Marv!) Batman mostly got stuck just piloting some Batvehicle. He spent all his time hanging out with -- how do I put this in a loving and supportive way? -- third-rate schmoes. Elongated Man,

DC made a huge deal out of re-starting Superman and Wonder Woman, post-Crisis. Clever bit of misdirection, that. Yeah, Clark and Diana shed lots of their excess backstory in a big hypertime yard sale (I was there, and let me tell you, Alex Ross and Phil Jimenez are vicious little shoppers ....!). But, when you come right down to it, their personalities and costumes stayed nearly identical to their pre-Crisis versions.
But Batman? Well, this is Batman post-Crisis:

And that's before Jason got killed and he started to turn really scary.
The modern age Batman can star simultaneously in 11 different titles, guest-star in 3 others, appear in the second issue of every new series, and alienate the superhero community and the GCPD, while cobbling together a world-threatening omniscient artificial intelligence in his spare time. The post-Crisis Batman is more like the Golden Age one; he can defeat the arsenal of a terrorist country using only a paper clip and a Q-tip, increase voter turn-out through sheer force of will, and automatically cause anyone within a twenty-foot radius to have 34 percent fewer cavities. The modern Batman doesn't stand around uselessly during a Crisis ... he causes it. You show 'em, B-man!
Fooey on all those of you who think you want back the pre-Crisis Batman because this one "is a jerk"; I say you've forgotten what he was like. The post-Crisis Batman was the REAL Sensational Character Makeover of 1986, and don't you forget it!

"I'll get you for this, Scipio! Halo, help me!"
Labels:
Geo-Force,
Golden Age,
Halo,
Marsha Mallow,
Starman
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Character Donations #75-78
What decent American could argue against donating the Masters of Disaster to Marvel?
Names that are the same as their powers or a pun based on their powers is the classic Marvel "mutant nomenclature". I'd say, based on their Who's Who entry, the "Masters of Disaster" meet that particular criterion...

Names that are the same as their powers or a pun based on their powers is the classic Marvel "mutant nomenclature". I'd say, based on their Who's Who entry, the "Masters of Disaster" meet that particular criterion...

- New-Wave, the leader of the group, can transform her body into water, or any of the many forms water can take.
- Windfall can control winds, ranging from gentle zephyrs to violent storms. She and New-Wave are sisters (New-Wave's first name being Becky), and Windfall witnessed their mother's murder at the hands of New-Wave.
- Shakedown was ttemendously strong, and could generate vibratory forces that he can either channel through a medium or project toward a desired target. Shakedown had a crush on Windfall and felt frequently remorse for his violent actions.
- Coldsnap is a human freezer unit, capable of genereating sub-zero temperatures and great quantities of ice. His normal body heat is conderably lower than the average.
- Heatstroke can generate extremely high temperatures, as well as controlled bursts of flame. Her normal body heat is considerably above the average.
Let's see, can we struggle along without a team that was single-handedly defeated by Hooker the Girl Giftwrap? Just look at the Outsiders' faces; even that posse of misbegotten losers is clearly stupefied by the cheesiness of their opponents. Only the blissful Halo seems immune to mortification, enshrouded in the fog-like delusion that she's going to get her own book and violating the Fourth Wall Taboo. I suppose in order to be Halo in the first place you pretty much have to be immune to mortification.
New-Wave ("Wow, her name refers to powers AND her edge-hugging hipness; the kids will love her!") is yet another Zan-clone, whose principal accomplishment has been drowning Shakedown (hold back those tears, folks), which is a mercy-killing because anyone (other than Superman or Letterman) who has his initial(s) on his chest (as if when his mother sewed the costume she wanted to make certain he didn't confuse it with anyone else's in the supervillain's locker room) should clearly be put out of our misery.
New Wave's got "X-Factor" written all over her. Maybe,
just maybe, if she could retain her cohesion in the sea, she'd make an okay one-time sparring partner for Aquaman, at least until he just sucked her up with his Mysticky Hand of Aquarius (tm), sending her off the Land of Liquid Fairies, who would, I'm sure, heal her tormented soul of its unquenched desires with the gentle licking of the lambent undulations of their blahbbity -blah -blah -blah (insert 12 issues of Rick Veitch here).
Windfall? Gee, another character who blows. Apparently, every one of these "Criminals of Crapola" teams has to have one member whoss power is being full of hot air (the Wind Elementals must have a strong union). Oh, but Windfall's special because she's torn between being a hero and being and villain, and she's New Wave's sister. Sisters with dissimilar elemental powers and internal disfunctional family strife? Vacillating between hero and villain due to moral uncertainty? Enjoy Marvel, ladies; go date the Summers Brothers.
And if you don't know the hideous Vertigoesque fate Grant Morrison doled out to Coldsnap & Heatstroke, who are Tragic Victims of Comic Book Irony (tm), in Aztek #7, then be happy I'm sparing you the details. What remains of them would feel at home among Marvel's Misunderstood Monsters, I'm sure.
The more I look at the "Masters of Disaster" the more I marvel that I didn't get around to donating them sooner. So many Misbegotten Creations of Enemy of Society Mike W. Barr, so little time...
My only problem is figuring out how MANY characters they count for (Shakedown = zero? "Heatsnap" = um, 2?); I'm calling it a non-fantastic four and moving on.
New-Wave ("Wow, her name refers to powers AND her edge-hugging hipness; the kids will love her!") is yet another Zan-clone, whose principal accomplishment has been drowning Shakedown (hold back those tears, folks), which is a mercy-killing because anyone (other than Superman or Letterman) who has his initial(s) on his chest (as if when his mother sewed the costume she wanted to make certain he didn't confuse it with anyone else's in the supervillain's locker room) should clearly be put out of our misery.
New Wave's got "X-Factor" written all over her. Maybe,

Windfall? Gee, another character who blows. Apparently, every one of these "Criminals of Crapola" teams has to have one member whoss power is being full of hot air (the Wind Elementals must have a strong union). Oh, but Windfall's special because she's torn between being a hero and being and villain, and she's New Wave's sister. Sisters with dissimilar elemental powers and internal disfunctional family strife? Vacillating between hero and villain due to moral uncertainty? Enjoy Marvel, ladies; go date the Summers Brothers.
And if you don't know the hideous Vertigoesque fate Grant Morrison doled out to Coldsnap & Heatstroke, who are Tragic Victims of Comic Book Irony (tm), in Aztek #7, then be happy I'm sparing you the details. What remains of them would feel at home among Marvel's Misunderstood Monsters, I'm sure.
The more I look at the "Masters of Disaster" the more I marvel that I didn't get around to donating them sooner. So many Misbegotten Creations of Enemy of Society Mike W. Barr, so little time...
My only problem is figuring out how MANY characters they count for (Shakedown = zero? "Heatsnap" = um, 2?); I'm calling it a non-fantastic four and moving on.
Thursday, June 02, 2005
Batwoman has the final word!
Hi, I'm Kathy Kane, also known as BATWOMAN! Halo (who seems easily confused anyway) thought she was the last of the Comeback Poll contestants, but she forgot about me. Most people have, I'm afraid.
But I'm still doing well in the poll, because, well, I'm fabulous (and Bat-Mite is my publicity agent). In fact, I would be winning if Scipio weren't rigging the voting so that Vibe wins (I'm not a bad detective, you know!).
In essence, I was Batman, Robin, and the Barbara Gordon Batgirl all rolled up into one. I had a fortune like Batman, I was former circus aerialist like Robin, and, like Babs, I was a sassy feminine crimefighter who, armed with a red purse and laughing at danger, defied Batman's wish that I get out of the vigilante biz. How much cooler can a character get?
At the moment, I, myself, am either dead (killed off-panel by anonymous goons from the League of Assassins...I deserved better!) or never existed (that's why I'm all ghostified in this picture).
But Kathy Kane aside, you could still have a Batwoman. Draft Onyx. Or Sasha Bordeaux, once the OMAC mess is over. Have the Huntress finally grow up some and put on a decent red and yellow costume instead of that pilates instructor/streetwalker outfit she's tramping about it now. We had none of that in my day, missy!
Just make sure the new Batwoman's got SASS. That's made me and the first two Batgirls popular and something Gotham could stand more of!
But I'm still doing well in the poll, because, well, I'm fabulous (and Bat-Mite is my publicity agent). In fact, I would be winning if Scipio weren't rigging the voting so that Vibe wins (I'm not a bad detective, you know!).
In essence, I was Batman, Robin, and the Barbara Gordon Batgirl all rolled up into one. I had a fortune like Batman, I was former circus aerialist like Robin, and, like Babs, I was a sassy feminine crimefighter who, armed with a red purse and laughing at danger, defied Batman's wish that I get out of the vigilante biz. How much cooler can a character get?
At the moment, I, myself, am either dead (killed off-panel by anonymous goons from the League of Assassins...I deserved better!) or never existed (that's why I'm all ghostified in this picture).
But Kathy Kane aside, you could still have a Batwoman. Draft Onyx. Or Sasha Bordeaux, once the OMAC mess is over. Have the Huntress finally grow up some and put on a decent red and yellow costume instead of that pilates instructor/streetwalker outfit she's tramping about it now. We had none of that in my day, missy!
Just make sure the new Batwoman's got SASS. That's made me and the first two Batgirls popular and something Gotham could stand more of!
Halo asks for your lack of hate
Um, I'm "Halo" and I'm kinda the last person in the Comeback Poll. Please don't hate me.
Uh, my origin's sorta...complicated. But it involves ancient energy beings with an unlikely pun for a name ("The Aurakles"? Didn't they open for the Beatles?), Tobias Whale, Baron Bedlam, Jason Bard, Dr. Moon, Syonide, Kobra, the King of Markovia, and multiple body switching. As for my powers, er, just think of me as the Rainbow Raider's little sister.
Do you like the rainbow action in my hair and my I-don't-sweat-I-glow aura? I think they were supposed to appeal to the 'girls aged 10-13' demographic. Oh, and I have an "anomalous brainwave pattern", at least, that's what polite people call it.
I'm sorry, I forgot to introduce myself! My real name is Gabrielle Doe. And Violet Harper. And Melissa Brown. Whichever; I'll answer to hey-you, actually. My codename "Halo", well, Batman gave that to me when he found me unconscious in the middle of a forest in an Eastern European principality. Batman's like that. Always wandering around the world, finding wounded strays, anthropomorphizing them with cute names, and taking them home to show Alfred. "This is my little bird with broken parents, I named him Robin; I found this nasty rat in an alley, I call him Jason; this rabid racoon with busted language skills I call Batgirl 'cuz she doesn't need a real name."
I'm, uh, I'm also kinda the reason Batman left the JLA. So I guess I'm the proximate cause of the breakup of the classic JLA, and the creation of the Detroit League and the Giffen League.
Oh. Please don't hate me...
Uh, my origin's sorta...complicated. But it involves ancient energy beings with an unlikely pun for a name ("The Aurakles"? Didn't they open for the Beatles?), Tobias Whale, Baron Bedlam, Jason Bard, Dr. Moon, Syonide, Kobra, the King of Markovia, and multiple body switching. As for my powers, er, just think of me as the Rainbow Raider's little sister.
Do you like the rainbow action in my hair and my I-don't-sweat-I-glow aura? I think they were supposed to appeal to the 'girls aged 10-13' demographic. Oh, and I have an "anomalous brainwave pattern", at least, that's what polite people call it.
I'm sorry, I forgot to introduce myself! My real name is Gabrielle Doe. And Violet Harper. And Melissa Brown. Whichever; I'll answer to hey-you, actually. My codename "Halo", well, Batman gave that to me when he found me unconscious in the middle of a forest in an Eastern European principality. Batman's like that. Always wandering around the world, finding wounded strays, anthropomorphizing them with cute names, and taking them home to show Alfred. "This is my little bird with broken parents, I named him Robin; I found this nasty rat in an alley, I call him Jason; this rabid racoon with busted language skills I call Batgirl 'cuz she doesn't need a real name."
I'm, uh, I'm also kinda the reason Batman left the JLA. So I guess I'm the proximate cause of the breakup of the classic JLA, and the creation of the Detroit League and the Giffen League.
Oh. Please don't hate me...
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