Friday, July 20, 2007

Society Signatures: STARMAN!


Or, rather,


Why didn't I think of it sooner? Starman solves all problems. Starman is the ne plus ultra. Starman will supply me with a new signature saying.

In his later years, Starman used to spend weekends dancing at the disco with his Twin Twirling Pick-Axes of Fabulousness. In fact, Kyle Rayner lost one of his girlfriends that way.

That's a fairly fun phrase, but it doesn't really work unless one is spinning a pick-axe in each hand. Try getting on the Metro that way.

Let's give it another try, shall we?

When your life is as DRAMA-filled as Starman's, you develop the kind of nonchalance that classifies an attacking squadron of enemy planes as "some mischief".

Well, that's fine, but a bit generic.

Hm. This isn't what I was hoping for. I need something different. Something special. Something that only Starman could come up with...

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner. End of contest. Not only is

"Hit the ground! This is going to be oomphy!"

my new signature phrase, I hereby offer it to the world. Everyone deserves to be saying "Hit the ground! This is going to be oomphy!". When your spellchecker doesn't like it, just add it to the dictionary, as I just did.

Shut your trap, you stupid bullethead;
it's a Starman-y word.


David said...

Bulleteer doesn't recognize that "oomphy" is the all-purpose adjective of the Oompa-Loompas, much the same way that "Smurfy" is used by other dimuative characters.

He doesn't have the travel experience that Starman does, so he hasn't learned to appreciate multicultural sayings yet.

SallyP said...

Well...I was rather fond of the "mischief" one, but I must admit that "oomphy" does have a certain ring to it.

I STILL like "Holy Humongeous Heffalumps!" however.

Nate said...

If Big Monkey put that on the back of a t-shirt, it would sell a quadzillion copies.

Anonymous said...

Kinda sounds like the title of a Scissor Sisters album.

Jeremy Rizza said...

I, for one, think "oomphy" is both cromulent and scrumtrulescent. I heartily endorse its widespread usage!

Christine Smith said...

Eh, that's not Bulleteer. He was Fawcett. This guy's obviously a Metal drummer (check the 'stache and hair) who obviously decided to dress as a giant red 'marital aid.'

Scipio, BLESS YOU for all your Starman love!

Woody! said...

I'd rather go with what the Nazis said: "Himmel! He'll brain us all!" That's a catch phrase you can hang your hat on.

Wayne Allen Sallee said...

Scipio, I like oomphy as much as the next guy (so to speak), but can't you at least give The Red Bee a chance? For me, a complete stranger, living alone in a deserted mansion on the outskirts of some unnamed city?

Anonymous said...

The true test is to replace other great signoffs with the chosen one.

Bette Davis: "Fasten your seatbelts; it's going to be an oomphy ride!"

Arnold: "Hasta la oomphy!"

George 'W': "Stay the oomphy."

We have a winner!