Wednesday, April 04, 2007

"Haircare with Aquaman" Week, No. 4

4. Avoid mussing your hair.

Try to avoid wearing caps that would mash down your hair and give you "hat-head". If it's a little chilly, start with earmuffs instead, as I do.

If you must use head-wear, choose something loose-fitting enough that it doesn't crush your hairdo, something that gives it "breathing room".

Hair whose life has been strangled by skull-fitting headwear is sure to attract undesired attention, even if people are too polite to say anything to you about it.

Don't let this happen to you, kids.

You know what happens to people who wear headgear that mashes their hair?

They become evil.


SallyP said...

In other words, we should just outlaw helmets.

Scipio said...

No, because free will is important.

But we should watch such people very carefully...

Anonymous said...

I never noticed it before, but it seems that all of Aquaman's Rogues Gill-ery wore hair-crushing headgear. Not only the ones pictured, but the Scavenger, the Human Flying Fish, the Marine Marauder, the Eel...even Electric Man, quite possibly the lamest super-villain ever created by anyone other than Mike W. Barr, wore ordinary street clothes and a metal skullcap with a lightning rod attached!!

Scipio said...

"by anyone other than Mike W. Barr"


Anyway, yes, Aquaman hair,you see, is a metaphor for society. For it to be attractive it must have boundaries but be free within them, in a structured way that is still adaptable.

But his foes have hair that that is oppressed, squashed: the same fate these evildoers would bring upon other denizens of the deep.

The whole Aquaman mythos? It's all about the hair, people.

How did you know when Aquaman went beyond the pale? His hair and beard got long. First he did when coming back to the fold? Neatly cut his hair.

Anonymous said...

Well, that explains a lot about Dick Cheney.

Anonymous said...

And sally...when helmets are outlawed, only outlaws will have helmets!!!