Saturday, September 05, 2009

Look out, Mister Armstrong...!

Really, I can't imagine this panel being in anything other than a Starman story.

Anyway, I need to let you all know that the Absorbascon is now on hiatus. I've enjoyed it and I hope you all have, too.

Friday, September 04, 2009

Starman Saves Shakespeare


No, really; Starman saved Shakespeare from being kidnapped. Starman doesn't go in for abstracts or metaphors.

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Starman's Face-Off

The Golden Age Starman didn't mess around, boy.


Here he is telling a suspect to confess or
he'll use the gravity rod...
to RIP HIS FACE OFF.


Really; you did not want to mess with Starman.

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

8 Ways Starman Will Beat the Crap Out of You

Do you think Starman is dependent on the gravity rod?
"I-- I swear, Doris: this has never happened to me before!"


That he would be helpless without it?
You know, if this were anyone else, I'd say that sounded almost like... panic. But it can't be panic, because that's Starman. So it must be... DRAMA!


Think again.

We're talking about the Golden Age Starman, the hero who once defended himself against a bear by hitting it with a tiger. Starman doesn't need the gravity rod to beat the crap out of you. He'll do it with whatever objects happen to be lying around. And the more embarrassing they are the better (like Aquaman, Starman knows that it is not enough to merely defeat criminals; you must publically humiliate them).



The mundane!
"You cowardly rats have no understanding of conversational grouping!"


The desperately punful!

The usual weapon in unusual ways!
I can't recall ever seeing a hero bounce a gun off someone's face before.
It's delightfully disrespectful.


The bizarre!Where's Hal Jordan's head when you need it?


The sonorous!
Do you have any idea what one of those costs? You can tell Ted's really rich.


The childish!Whenever anyone at Joliet asked Charlie how Starman defeated him,
he'd lie and say he was hit with a tiger.


The artistic!Ted-- don't quit your day job.


The ironic!
Starman uses a magnifying glass to burn some young O'Dares,
like the ants they are.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Heroclix of Earth; rise.

Heroclix is back from the dead!

For those of you who can't access that article, Heroclix, the superhero-comic-themed tabletop strategy game I've written about on occasion, seemed to have died when its company, Wizkids, was closed by its parent company, Topps. But the involvement of another company, NECA, has brought Heroclix back to life, with a Marvel set coming out this fall (Hammer of Thor) and a DC set in the Spring (Brave & The Bold).

To celebrate, I offer you this map of an abandoned churchyard and graveyard as a venue for a Black Lantern themed game.

Candidates for a Black Lantern team include figures that represent characters whom we've seen, or know we will see, resurrected as Black Lanterns (e.g., Hawkman, Hawkgirl, Martian Manhunter, Elongated Man, Sue Dibny, Amon Sur, Golden Age Superman, Hawk, the original Firestorm, the Spectre, Deadman). Candidates for a team to oppose them include those whom we have seeing fighting the BLs (e.g., Superman, Superboy, Flash, Hal Jordan, Guy Gardner, John Stewart, Star Sapphire, Sinestro, the living Titans, Deadman, Phantom Stranger, Hawkman, Hawkgirl). Don't put the same ch character on each team, LOL!

Also: the Black Lantern team MUST have Black Hand on it. Any of his teammates whom he can see may automatically heal one click as a free action of the beginning of their turn. And if his team KOs a figure, he can 'bring it back from the dead' as a power action and put it on his team. Resurrected figures reappear wherever they fell, and start on their last click. Because the odds are obviously in the Black Lanterns favor, all the opposing team has to do is KO Black Hand, and flee off the edge of the board. If they can.

It's not likely there will be Black Lantern heroclix made any time soon, so if you want some, you might look for a customer clix maker to create them for you...!

Monday, August 31, 2009

Pep 32; Don't Fun With Me, Boys!


"We must find Dusty, Hangman! I've searched all his regular haunts -- the Candy Store, the Malt Shoppe, the Daisy BB gun Emporium -- to no avail! Let's take a look in this Escherian Quonset hut.

"Washington's wig! It's a Nazi tank factory--here, on Florida Avenue! And over there, captive, and forced to wear one of those Stanley Marcus's skin-tight, Rosie the Riveter style outfits suggested by the War Production Board's regulation L-85, just like I read about in McCall's-- it's Joan Crawford! The fiends!

"She's being held in one of those new-fangled necklace fitters. And good gravy--! They've capture Kilroy!!!

"Okay, Hangman, here's the plan: we move to--

"Hangman?

"Dang it, Hangman, where are--? Ah, jeez, he's dropping from the catwalk. Alright, then, we'll just wing it. Lord, how I miss Dusty!"