Tuesday, August 20, 2019

No, I do NOT like Heath Ledger's performance as the Joker, thanks for asking.

Recently, the Rotten Tomatoes-eating public voted Heath Ledger's entrance as The Joker in The Dark Knight, the most memorable cinematic moment in the last 21 years.  This, of course, is patently absurd, since most viewers would AT BEST be able to quote the line "I kill the bus-driver" and be unable to describe much of anything else done or said in the scene.

It goes without saying that this says MUCH more about the cinematic habits and discernment of the average movie-goer than it does about Ledger's performance.   I mean, really now.  Need I remind you that THIS scene from Deep Blue Sea (1999) also occurred within in the last 21 years...

Related image

If you have seen both films, there is no way you remember the Joker's entrance in The Dark Knight MORE than you remember Samuel L. Jackson suddenly getting eaten by a shark in Deep Blue Sea in mid-sentence during a Standard Rousing Bad-Ass Speech.

It also says a lot about how Fanboys Be Representing when such things arise, since their are a lot more Batman/ Joker/ Dark Knight fanfolk than there are DeepBlueSea-fanatics. ARE there Deep Blue Sea Fanatics?  I'm not sure I want to know.

And it says a lot about people's ability or willingness to follow instructions; clearly, people voted based on whether they LIKED a moment, not how memorable it was.

Heck, Ledger's entrance as The Joker in The Dark Knight wasn't even as memorable as the one it was based on: Cesar Romero's first entrance as The Joker on Batman'66:

The difference, as Megamind would say, is presentation.  NOBODY makes an entrance like Cesar Romero's Joker.

Now, THAT is an entrance. No bus driver required.

I know that many people revere Ledger's performance as The Joker but for most part it seems like boilerplate adoration, without much critical analysis.  Look, Ledger certainly did a better job than anyone had a right to expect, especially since much of his past movie work wasn't all that... deep.  Hat's off to him for proving that he was more than just a pretty face while he was with us.

Very pretty, in fact.

But Ledger's Joker, while admittedly intense, was also clearly ... not genuine.  There was little sense that this was an actual crazy person or an evil genius with a wicked sense of humor.  Ledger's Joker was an act, a put-on, a disillusioned man putting on a crazy act to convince others, and himself, that he didn't care about anything. But he did care; he was a nihilistic ideologue DESPERATE to prove his point to others, and painfully needy.  He didn't leave chaos in his wake; everything he did was painstakingly choreographed.  He seemed like a sad clown, eager for approval by the audience; a tough guy, eager to show much he didn't care; a tragically realistic man, eager to come off as a lunatic.  Ledger's Joker was... just a terrorist.  Because I guess that's what scares current-day audiences.

The script is to blame, of course, but Ledger didn't help.  Most viewers were just impressed that Ledger's Joker seemed menacing, because the Joker can seem pretty silly and nonthreatening if done wrong.  And Ledger's Joker was menacing... because both the character and the actor were obviously working really hard to MENACE.  The Joker shouldn't work hard at being menacing, he shouldn't have to try to seem crazy, and he shouldn't really care what you think.  I can't believe I saying this (because I didn't like Jack Nicholson's Joker all that much) but... Jack Nicholson got all of that. Nicholson's Joker had no idea anything was wrong with him, had fun during his schemes, and certainly didn't care whether you got the joke or agreed with his worldview.

And, as you can see, he's a lot happier.

Cesar Romero's Joker never tried to seem threatening... but was deadly all the same; that was part of the point of his performance.  His Joker actually just thought it was really funny to feed you to a giant clam.

Never forget.

Ledger's neurotic tics and slimy speech patterns were clearly affectations of both the actor and the character, suitable more to that homeless guy you avoid in the park than Batman's archenemy.  To top it all off... Ledger couldn't laugh.  There are thousands of people in the world who can do a Joker laugh; why can't Hollywood ever find someone who can?

Even THAT guy could probably do a better job at it!

Friday, July 26, 2019

Broad Live the Legion!

Let's talk about this, the group drawing of the new Legion of Super-Heroes shared by incoming author Brian "Blah blah blah" Bendis in his interview with Seth Meyers:


Thanks, Computo
Before we start annotation, let's start with 'number zero': the Legion as an ensemble.  In short, this looks great, it looks like the Legion should, and if you don't think so, well...
you're wrong.

Nobody cares, least of all me, that "this isn't the Legion I grew up with," so shut yer yaps.  Your precious past is STILL THERE, preserved in about 10,000 different volumes of old LSH stories available to you in a wide variety of formats. Go back and read them if you want, I know I do that myself.

God knows, we must revere and preserve the Legion's honored past and traditions.
More than any other DC intellectual property, the Legion of Super-Heroes isn't about your past; it's about our future.  If you want to spend your life living in the past, what the sprock are you reading the Legion for anyway?!

Similarly, "The Diversity Issue". YES, this version of the Legion looks more 'diverse' than many we have seen before, and no one cares if that triggers your atavistic reactionary incel-self.  Because just as the Legion has always been about the future and not the past, it has always been about diversity. Different people from different planets and species/races with different powers, committing to do great things by creating a greater synergy from their differences.  Again, if you aren't into that concept, then what the sprock are you reading the Legion for anyway?

And, last: please note that Legion looks like they are having fun and enjoying one another's company.  They aren't angry sad-sack Marvel characters, forced to band together against a cruel society that hates and fears them because "They Are Different".  They are friends and teammates, clearly eager to join forces to do good for the galaxy.  And that's the people in whose hands I want the future to be.

Now, the annotations.  Help me unpack all this!

1. The only guess I have here is Ferro Lad, but that's almost certainly wrong.  What's that symbol on his chest; Hello Kitty?  Is this Hello Kitty Lad?  Maybe I am not as okay with diversity as I thought. Could it be... Proty 2?  That would be amazing.

Cuz Proty 2 will sprock with your head, man.

2. Obviously, Gim "Colossal Boy/Leviathan" Allen, being a **** and looking like someone gave him a black eye recently, which would all be fairly on point for him.  Note to DC: it IS a cooler name, but given what else you are publishing this year, naming him "Leviathan" could cause some confusion.

3.  Well. That's Dr. Fate, no debating that.  That'll be interesting.

Let's hope we don't have to endure a Bendis re-telling of THAT origin story.

4. Blok (or is it Strata, his female counterpart?). Regardless: it's Future Concrete.

5. Lessee... White. Female. Dressed like Felix Faust at Easter. Let's assume it's the White Witch.  Usually she is THE magic-wielder in the Legion (although sometimes other members have had powers with magic source, they seldom 'wield' magic), so having Dr. Fate around is even more intriguing.

6.  Skeletor Lad? Atomic Skull Boy?  Nurse Phosphorus?  Mister Bones, Junior?  Halloween 5.0? Translucent Kid?  The Phantom of the Future Paradise? Yo Soy El Esqueleto de Juan? Mano-cure? DAVID S. PUMPKINS?!

Maybe it's Invisible Kid, having fun.

7. Shadow Lass, a.k.a. Shady.

8.  Sun Boy or Inferno or Fiery-Face Lad if you wish.  A sort of human torch, if you will, standing beside a big rock-person Thing.  Good call.

9.  A Lantern? A Yellow Lantern?  Well, that's an interesting choice.  Like Dr. Fate, it shows some through-line to the present-day DCU... but Yellow? Interesting.  Maybe it's a ... Gold Lantern?

10.  Chuck "Bouncing Boy" Taine, with an uncharacteristic mop of red hair.  Look, I'm okay with Princess Projectra being a giant snake, but giving Chuck red hair may be crossing the line.  This just isn't the Legion I grew up with!

11.  PINK LADY.  Well, it's about time we got some adult beverage representation in the Legion!  Not everyone drinks Silverale, you know.  Anyway, it's probably Princess Projectra but I miss Sensor Girl!

12.  Given the Asian look and martial artsy costume, I'm going to guess Karate Kid.  I can't believe they are actually going there.


13.  Reep "Chameleon Boy" Daggle.

Can't this be his default form? Pretty please?

14.  Another imaginative reinterpretation of Triplicate Girl, a.k.a. Triad.  We'll see how they make it work this time.  She may not be the most combat-threatening Legionnaire, but existentially she is TERRIFYING.

15. Dream Girl / Dreamer.  Always a baller.

Or, as they call her on "Supergirl", Phone Cord Girl.

16.  Mon-El / M'On-El / Valor.  But if you don't already know that you probably aren't reading this.

17. Saturn Girl, still trying to make her logo work.

18. Star Boy, based on the characteristic costume.  No beard, thank god.

19. I'm thinking Pink-Punk-Hair-Loss Lass is Shrinking Violet.

20.  Jon "Superboy" Kent. Great, sure, fine; anything to put an end to The Super-Sons Saga.

21.  Brainiac 5. Smiling. I'm sold.

22.  Tinya "Phantom Girl/ Apparition" Wazzo.  The hair braids and costume holes are a dead giveaway.

23.  Lightning Lad; classic costuming, red hair. Two arms, even.

24.  Dawnstar. Sigh.  I think there's some sort of magical covenant that Dawnstar can't die until Cher does (sometime AFTER the 23rd Century).

25.  Cosmic Boy, yummy as ever.

25.  Goateed hippy-boy Element Lad, his logo funnier than ever and who knows nothing and should shut up.

You wanna argue with Brainiac 5?
Good luck with that.

26. XS, the Legion's superspeedster and descendant of the Flash.

27.  The most clean-cut version of Ultra-Boy ever.

28.  Wildfire.  The Sonny Bono to Dawnstar's Cher.

30.   Matter-Eater Lad, looking like beans rice and inertron didn't miss 'im.

31.  And Timber Bear. I mean, Wolf. Yeah; no; I mean Bear.

Monday, May 13, 2019

8 Match-Ups I can't believe haven't happened yet

1. Red Bee versus Killer Moth

I picture a LOT of slapping. Followed by making up and shopping for leggings.

2. The Inferior Five versus the Secret Six

I have zero doubt that the IF would beat the tar out of SS, even if only by accident.

3. The Legion of Doom versus the Legion of Super-Heroes

I assume LoD would win, but only because the Riddler would find some loophole in the Legion's Constitution.

4. Mogo with Mogo

Naturally, they'd be fighting the Planet of the Apes.
You're welcome for that.

5. Gleek with Zook 

GODS, I hate space-monkey-things. Maybe they would hijinks each other to death.

6. The Falcon and the Vulture  versus Hawk and Dove

Before you bet on the heroes because they are 'super', remember that they can't fly.  Air superiority, baby.

7. The Octopus versus the Shark

Well, sure, one is a hyper-evolved killing machine with super-telepathic powers and the other is an escaped convict with an open fish tank in his floor.  But, hey... don't underestimate the power of tentacle hats and self-delusion.

8.  The Phantom Stranger with Secret Squirrel

How they missed THAT opportunity during the DC/Hanna-Barbera crossovers I will never understand.

There's room for two MORE to make it a Top Ten list; what are YOUR suggestions...?

Friday, May 10, 2019

Hate-Watching Alex Danvers

I'm not really into 'hate-watching' a teevee show; it seems a little silly. There are so many wonderful things to do and see, why spend time watching something you hate?

SO many wonderful things.

Still, I can't pretend I'm immune to the appeal of watching something because it's ... non-ideal. After all, some -- okay, fine, MOST-- of the movies I watch are terrible horror films I enjoy precisely because of their imperfections.  But I don't HATE them for that.  

In fact, sometimes I am overwhelmed by a near-religious awe at how MIRACULOUSLY bad some are.

And there are shows I watch that I generally like but which have characters in them I can't bear, characters I just LOVE to hate.  Not villains; people you are supposed to like, in theory, but whom the showrunners have made unlikable.  I would mention Iris on The Flash, but of course, she's been supplanted by her idiot daughter, Nora, a character so continually and constitutionally wrong-headed that she could ONLY be the child of CW Iris&Barry.  

My name is Nora West-Allen, and I'm the fastest fool alive.

It's Supergirl that takes the cake, though.  In fact, it takes forty of them. And that's terrible.  Because it's got the ultimate hate-watch character:

Alex Danvers

She's smart! She's sassy! She's spunky!

I'm not sure which one this is supposed to be.

She's a brilliant physician!  She's a butt-kicking ninja!  She's a supersoldier/secret agent!

She's a Brill Creme model!

I (kind of) get it. The showrunners felt they needed Supergirl to have a human female confident (so they gave her a sister, which she has never had in comics) and chose to make that character sufficiently uber-competent so that Supergirl wouldn't overshadow her.

Unfortunately, despite the continued assertions in every episode that Alex is "the best person I know for the job" and "the most [insert positive adjective of human qualities] person I've ever meet" by virtually every character who's known her for even two minutes, Alex Danvers is a living trainwreck of a human being. 

I think that dress tells you everything you need to know about Alex Danvers' decision making ability.

All the time.  And it's not only constant its omnidirectional.  She can't make decisions in the field, at the office, with her family, to her friends, in her love life.  Alex is in a constant state of emotional turmoil and indecision.  It's like an evil cabal of misogynistic writers got together and said, "We're going to insert a secret asset into the Supergirl show: someone who, at every opportunity, will send the message that women, no matter what their external accomplishments, will always be emotionally unstable and unreliable."  Is Vartox a show consultant?!?

Now, I know what some of your are thinking: "Alex is a normal human, they have doubts, it's great to show that strong people are not emotionally invulnerable blah blah blah."  And maybe you can excuse some of Alex's (endless) stumbles that way.

But it's constant and repeated.  Alex lies to her sister about her work. Alex is dating Maxwell Lord. Alex has trouble admitting she's gay. Alex gloms onto LITERALLY the first lesbian she meets and whine her into being her girlfriend.  Alex suddenly wants children.  Alex doesn't know the first thing about her girlfriend and is shocked by everything she learns about her.  Alex can't live without {cast member].  Alex can't get along with [cast member].  Alex doesn't believe she can help Kara / do her job / run the DEO / make the hard decisions / sleep with Sarah Lance. I mean, who DOESN'T sleep with Sarah Lance?!  

Alex is the perfect self-sabotaging character, because no matter what happens on the show, Alex Just Can't Even Right Now, even when what happens is something SHE fought for.

It's not, Alex. Not if you're in it, too.

Alex Sanders, how I love to rant at the television at you!  You may not be able to order a dessert without having an existential crisis and mental meltdown, but you HAVE been able to teach me how enjoyable 'hate-watching' can be!

Wednesday, May 08, 2019

The Additive Approach

This morning I read #5 of Geoff Johns' (latest) Shazam series (rooted in the character's current cinematic continuity). In so doing I gained insight into GJ's approach to characters that hit me like, well, a bolt of lightning.

How "Shazam Blam" is not the name of some band, I do not know.

Fantastical Shazam has always been an odd concept to try to fit into the regular DCU.  If regular is a word that can be applied to the home of Bat-Mite, Jonah Hex, Wild Dog, Kanjar Ro, Swamp Thing, Starman, and Green Arrow.

Or even JUST Green Arrow.

So just as he did with his renovation of Aquaman, Johns has focused on expanding the "subuniverse" to which the character is native.  As he gave Aquaman seven undersea kingdoms to immerse himself in,

That's for those of you who only saw the movie.

so too has he given Shazam the Seven Magic Kingdoms to thunder around in.

Eh, why bother to come up with a new idea? I mean, what are the odds that the public is going to be paying attention to Aquaman AND Shazam at the same time...?!

This is a bit pat and predictable, but in Issue #5, where Billy's siblings Freddy and Mary are sentenced to death in the Wildlands, a place of talking animals where humans have been hunted to near extinction, Johns does his classic trick of hitting you in the face with something you obviously SHOULD have seen coming but didn't (because he lulled you into a false sense of security by being pat and predictable).

Pictured: Pat and predictable

In the Wildlands, we learn that tigers, having betrayed the cause during the Great Animal Revolution, are essentially political prisoners, considered untameable and unworthy of integration into animal civilization.  Including this one:

Who is cruelly stripped of his clothes (the symbols of being civilized):

"I just had this suit tailored."  There is only ONE tiger in the DCU who would say that (or, for that matter, say anything):

the clothes-conscious Tawky Tawny, one of Billy's best friends from the Golden Age.  

This is a great test passed. If you can't make the likes of Tawky Tawny and Mr. Mind work, well, then, you probably shouldn't be messing with Shazam in the first place.  That sort of inbuilt weirdness and whimsy is part of what keeps Shazam from becoming just another grim and cynical superhero.

And what kind of terrible person would want that?

This is classic Johns' character revivification in action: pare a character down to its core historical characteristics recognizable to the public, embrace those aspects of the character, and built outward from them.  But with his introduction of Mr. Tawny in the Wildlands, I finally noticed something unique in his approach to bringing back characters....

A regular writer working on a such a character usually says

"What can I change about the character to make them fit into our existing universe?"

Geoff Johns, however, asks a different question:

"What can I change about our existing universe to make the character fit into it?"

His approach isn't subtractive (lessen the character), it's additive (expand the universe).  A simple example is "the emotional spectrum" for Green Lantern, which, in retrospect is just a logical rearrangement and extension of concepts that were already in the DCU.  With seven colors. And seven emotions. Because... seven.

Geoff Johns, I publicly dare you to bring back the eight-themed Octopus;
WITHOUT chopping off one of his tentacles to make it seven.

I've criticized GJ for his awkward storytelling before. Oh, sure, there is almost always an ultra-clever reveal, but too often motives are vague and the plot is some variation on 'then it gets even WORSE and now our hero(es) can't possibly win, except, now they DO, for no discernible reason other than that it is time for them to do so, and um, is this story over now or-- OH LOOK something mysterious is happening elsewhere that must be the beginning of another story!"

Literally every issue of JSA.

But with this reintroduction of Tawky Tawny, I've decided to let go of my annoyances at GJ's storytelling. Because Johns ISN'T a storyteller; he's a mythmaker.  He (re)creates the worlds and characters that make great storytelling POSSIBLE.  

People talk a lot about Great Writers and the Great Stories they write and how Nothing Else Matters If The Writing is Great.  If you ask me, great writers (and great stories) come and go.  What do you REALLY remember better: individual stories about heroes or the characters and the world they inhabit?  Stories are told once.  Characters and their worlds, however, go on; I tip my hat to writers, like Johns, who make sure that they do.