Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Ching for a Day
As you may remember from Widowmaker Week, Mike Sekowsky wasn't merely a bad artist; he was a bad writer as well. Such a confluence of non-talent is rare, particularly among those who actually get to create comics for a living.
Now, thanks to Diana Prince: Wonder Woman Volume 2, I can fail to appreciate even more of Sekowsky's work! Thanks, DC, for reprinting this stuff; I can think of nothing I'd rather not enjoy more! Besides, now everyone can own his own copy of the Widowmaker story. Every comic-book lover's home should have one, as Exhibit A for the inevitable party debate on "Why They Shouldn't Keep Allowing Artists to Write". Okay, Exhibit B, really; the Kirby Omnibus has to be Exhibit A.
In one Sekowsky story, we begin with a classic conflict between two of DC's bitterest nemeses, Diana Prince and the "I Ching", Master of Oriental Inscrutability (tm). As you'll remember (I hope) from the Widowmaker, these two make Batman and the Joker look like BFFs.
The story begins in medias res. Diana, furious that Ching used the last of her "Purple Healing" Hair Conditioner, thus leaving her with unmanageable split ends, has broken Ching's Braille-reading finger, forcing him to call his doctor, who recommends a visits to the emergency room:
After they return, Ching uses the incident to gain the upperhand in their little war, and, in exchange for not pressing charges, demands that Diana be his woman-servant/beyotch.
"Yes, an old and valued friend; unlike you, the new, worthless 'Wonder Woman' with no powers."
"Of course, Ching. Oh, by the way, do you like that huge bouquet of flowers I bought you? Aren't they incredibly beautiful? Oh, that's right; I'm sorry, Ching, I forgot... ."
"Why don't you go on-line, Ching, and use Travelocity? Oh, that's right; you're blind! Then, I guess you won't see me packing these hideous clothes I bought that will make you the laughing stock of the Hong Kong fashion scene. Ha! Ha ha! And I know hideous clothes; have you seen my dress shop? Oh, that's right, Ching; I'm sorry, I forgot... ."
Editor's Note: Special guest artist on this panel is Lynn Johnston!
"At first I thought we might take your invisible plane but, then I remembered... why, you lost that along with your powers, didn't you, Diana dear?"
Ching really just wanted a ride to the airport, but Diana, who has no intention of letting him get away that easy, announces that she's coming with.
"Oh, I'm still coming with you. I owe you a lot, Ching. Like maybe a fall from 30,000 feet into the Pacific Ocean when you're not looking. Oh, but I forgot... you're always 'not looking', aren't you?"
Clearly, Ching needs some help with Diana; besides...
a writer like Mike Sekowsky could certainly use help from someone like Patrick McGuire.