Things That Made Me Happy...

... in my comics.

Last week, I wished for Two-Face to join the latest party in Gotham, and, boy, did I get my wish this week in the latest issue of  'Tec.

Not only did Two-Face come back, but he did so in full gangster style, Twins, rare coins, double-shots, flipping to make a decision, bimodal personality; the works. But that was just in the first page or two.  After some actual forensic work by the World's Greatest Detective (with, like, bullets casings and blood analysis 'n' everything), the Two-Face story takes a great leap toward the unknown:

Any similarity to Catholicism's dualistic dogma is entirely intentional.

Two-Face has formed a cult based on his unique philosophy and I am THERE for it.  Of all Batman's classic rogues gallery of non-powered villains, Two-Face has always been the most non-powered. Catwoman has her cat-gear, the Riddler spits out death-traps, Penguin is armed to the teeth with umbrella-weapons, and the Joker, like some kind of toon, can pull whatever Acme device out of his clown-pants the writer wants.  Two-Face has always had, um... guns.  Like any gangster would.  So for him to WEAPONIZE his weird worldview? Aces.

Meanwhile, in Shazam, there's lots of fake-outs and deceptions revealed BUT the real thing is: Mr. Mind has released the Monster Society of Evil.

And they CLOTHES SHOP together.

I can't see this without imagining pounding drag-queen runway music blaring from King Kull's boomstick.  That made me happy.

Elsewhere in her eponymous comic, Wonder Woman is doing that usual thing she does where she fights someone while telling them they shouldn't be fighting.  She's judge-y like that.   But she's fighting VALDA, the warrioress from Arak Son of Thunder.  

Luornu Durgo and Reep Daggle do this co-splay all the time.

Why? I have no idea and I don't care. Just as happened with all the magic characters in Justice League Dark, someone realized that Wonder Woman is the perfect dumping ground, er, showcase for any old sword & sorcery characters they have lying around.  That made me happy. I like when comic characters are, well, organized in a sensible way, just like they are in DCUOnline. Dynasty building!

The final issue of the H Dial maxi-series came out and it was a superb summation of the story and its lessons (as well as completely -- yet coherently -- insane).  

I think they held this 'til DiDio was gone.

If you haven't been following this maxi-series, then pick in up in trade the second you can, because you deserve it.

Things That Made Me Happy...

...in my comics this week.

Much to my surprise this week, I bought five DC comics and actually liked them.

Even BEFORE Dan DiDio was fired.

Matt Fraction's Jimmy Olsen was its delightfully, deepeningly insane self again.  This is not only a great way to write Jimmy Olsen, it's the ONLY way to write Jimmy Olsen. 

If you don't think that's funny, you don't deserve to read comic books.

This week's Aquaman gave us an ailing Mera, squabbling Atlanteans, a new explanation for someone's powers -- all of that's pretty standard BUT we got a baby out of it, so I approve.

"We'll name her... Aqua5G."

I thought the whole "Mera's pregnant/will she miscarry?! Stay tuned, same Aqua-channel!" thing would go on forever as an 'arc'.  But it just... happened. Like things used to happen in normal comic books.  That made me happy.


Meanwhile, in Gotham, things aren't going well because, well, that's how you know it's Gotham.  Bruce is rebuilding Gotham without, apparently, telling anyone what it will look like (which is hilariously unrealistic to me, a Washingtonian); Alfred is still dead again; and Gotham's non-united underworld (Joker, Penguin, Riddler, Catwoman, and, I hope at some point, Two-Face) are caught up in some ancient plot they once had which is starting to blow up in their faces and it has something to do with this guy:

Not certain; pretty sure he fought the Doom Patrol, though.

This is "The Designer" *snicker*, who apparently got caught flat-flooted by a last-minute invitation to the Villain Cotillion and had to cobble together a costume by breaking into the prop room at the community theater.  

JUST to hammer home the Doom Patrol joke, you understand.

Now, any well-read Batman fan will realize this is just a combination of Alan Grant's "Destroyer" storyline from 1992 and the Mike W. Barr's "Paul Sloane" storyline from 1987. But 20+ years is enough time passing to make a redux acceptable. Is this story so far any good? Probably not, but at least it's good FUN.  And it acknowledges that Catwoman used to be a MAJOR VILLAIN, rather than just Batman's moll. That made me happy. 

By the way, DC: stop "de-clawing' all the DCU's greatest female villains (e.g. Catwoman, Harley Quin, Poison Ivy) to make them into faux-edgy anti-heroes.  It's both tedious and sexist.

Meanwhile, in Justice League, Robert Venditti effortlessly accomplishes the sine qua non for any JLA story (which most JLA stories sorely lack): a credible threat that makes sense based on the existing universe.  The Eradicator backed by lead-immune Daxamites wants to use them to make Earth the new Krypton by eradicating humans. That's simple, clear, sensible (in a supervillain way) and an unquestionably JL-level threat.  

Polite Superman is the best Superman.

Flash not being honest with his teammates about his current power issues is stupid and out of character, but, um, somehow Dan DiDio is to blame, so I'll overlook it for now.

Speaking of Dan DiDio being to blame, this issue of Brian Bendis's Legion of Super-Heroes was... not completely incomprehensible.  That's an improvement. That made me happy.  Sure, the Interlac is still more comprehensible than everything else but Bendis is laying a fairly solid foundation that his successors (may they come soon) can built on top so that we can ignore his work. I'm all for that.  

Perhaps Bendis should be barred from English and confined to Interlac.

Seriously, while Bendis's dialog remains superhumanly annoying, the plot elements seem solid. Origins for each of the three Legion founders, origin of the Legion, an RJ Brande who doesn't look like the Monopoly guy; all this will work going forward. When someone else is writing Legion.  What he's doing will need to be done better later by someone else, but it won't need to be UN-done.  

Except for Rose/Thorn. That's just silly.

Things That Made Me Happy...

...in my comics this week. Vibe #1; period.  More on that later. “I’m Element Woman and you’re The Awesome!” Atlantean scepter-sticks of power; collect ‘em all! “No; the other right!”  Bwahahaha; character-based classic. Vulko kind of makes you realize how scary it would be if Alfred had his own agenda, doesn’t it? U.M.P.  That's now part of my comic book vocabulary. Steve Trevor is… a sturdy fellow. Woof. Oh, so, that’s why Catwoman.  That reason makes sense. But it would make much more sense for… KILLER MOTH! HA! HA! Hey, Zatanna finally remembered she could freeze the water by just saying something! Looks like the Atom’s had some work done, eh? Well, that's one way to get her to wear shoes. J'onn is creepy. And kind of crazy.  Just like I always said. Uh-oh.  "Taken 3" won't be starring Liam Neeson, will it? Vulko’s motivation.  Yeah, that’s what I figured.  Typical Atlantean thinking. Pemberton. VERY mysterious.  And that's not the star I would have expected to see.  Star Girl may be more interesting this time around. Finally, a reasonable justification for the “let’s look at photographs on a desk” routine when team-picking (which stopped making sense after Mission: Impossible went off the air). Well; that’s a sad but fitting punishment for Ocean Master. Aquadog!

Things That Made Me Happy...

...in my comics this week.

Aquaman #2. "More food?" cutaway to "Mommy! Mommy!" LMAO! I know some of you aren't fans of Geoff John's willingness to embrace gore in comic books, but you have to admit: he's a great horror writer.

Flash #2. Barry took the time to pay for the apples. Of course he did.

All-Star Western #2. "Oderint dum metuant." Heh heh, not enough jussive subjunctive in comics books nowadays, I say!

Aquaman #2. "Maybe there's more food there." That was the sentence that made me realize that the language the Trench are speaking isn't just chicken scratches; it's an actual "Interlac-style" transliteration alphabet. The artist didn't have to take the trouble to do that, particularly since no one is likely to notice, but it's gets a big slow clap from me!

Flash #2. I love that Flash is dealing with crazy mad Silver Age science. And is kind of rough on treadmills.

Superman #2. Sure, the idea of a opponents that everyone except Superman can see is scientifically ridiculous. But then again... so is Superman. So I loved it; it was exactly the kind of thing you would have seen on the cover of a Bronze Age Superman comic.

Savage Hawkman #2. "With innocent lives in the balance, are Morphicius' newfound powers too powerful to stop?" Oh; apparently not.

Aquaman #2. If this were the Silver Age, "Aqua-Boy Goes Skiing!" would have been a perfect back-up story. Yeah, now I want a whole "The Adventures of Aquaman as a Boy!" series. "Aquaboy in Vegas!"; "Aquaboy at the Mall of America!"; "Aquaboy, Prince of the Salt Lake!". They practically write themselves!

Superman #2. Oh the comic book irony! "I've often saved the Planet by giving them headlines; but now their headlines are saving me!" Really, I'm highly amused that the "all-new Superman" reads just like it was written in 1974.

JLDark. On the one hand, I completely understand where Dawn is coming from and she's completely right. On the other hand, if my boyfriend could do that, I would make a different choice. In fact, I'd make a different choice every night.

Flash #2. That is a perfect--and perfectly simple--cliffhanger to leave Barry with. Bravo, Manapul et al.!

Aquaman #2. Okay, the Trench are spooky and all, but if they really stop to eat their own, well, they're not going to be a very effective fighting force, are they?

Flash #2. Wow, the kidnappers dumped Iris as fast as they could, didn't they? I mean, who can blame them? And apparently, "mean" is the perfect insulator when you're hurled from a moving vehicle, because her hair doesn't even looked mussed.

All-Star Western #2. Okay, that panel of Jonah saying, "Evenin', boys" is one of the gayest panels I've ever seen (and I've read Anthro). Or maybe it's just me.

Flash #2. Um... Barry? What about the driver of the car? Oh, well, I hope at least your apple tasted good.

All-Star Western #2. Hm; since the first "doctor in psychology" graduated from Johns Hopkins in 1886, it's fair to say that Dr. Arkham is very much on the cutting edge of his profession, isn't it?

Things That Made Me Happy...

in my comics this week.

JLA #2: "I can keep us on point." Oh, I know plenty of organizations other than the Justice League that could use someone with that superpower.

Batman #2: I am fairly sure that's the only POV shot from a cadaver's organs I've ever seen. NICE.

JLA #2: Wow, the Batman/GL/Flash fight against Superman reads like a straight up Heroclix game, doesn't it? Batman attempts to use Outwit against Superman, but misses the Attack roll. GL attacks Superman with a Running Shot, then pushes with Willpower to attempt to Incapacitate him, failing. Superman counter-attacks, with GL protecting himself with Energy Shield/Deflection and protecting Batman with Defend (or you could also perceive it as GL erecting a Barrier to protect them both). Flash shows up with a Hypersonic Speed attack and knocks Superman away from GL and Batman with either Force Blast or Quake. He then Outwits Superman's attack powers, ties him up with Close Combat so that Batman and GL are safe, and uses some combination of Combat Reflexes and Super-Senses to avoid Superman's attack. Flash is probably trying to force Superman to Push and wear himself out. The Indomitable Superman, however, despite Flash's defensive powers (or by Outwitting them) makes the attack roll with doubles, which knocks back Flash quite a few spaces. But then Batman starts talking, which pretty much wins the game automatically.

Batman #2: The Wayne Tower's thirteenth guardian.

JLA #2: Superman's local 'fortress of solitude'. That's genius, and very much in tune with his portrayal in his own books.

Batman #2: Okay, Batman is officially so good that I think I can drop the inaccurately named Detective Comics from my weekly pulls. Not one but essentially TWO "Batman Cold Opens". More clever applications of super-modern technology as begun in last month's issue, that very much "keeps it simple" for the sake of story-telling. Pitch-perfect interaction between Batman and Nightwing. Cart-loads of actual detecting, by both Bruce and Jim. Oh, and Batman running his motorcycle off the rooftop of an elevated train into a low-flying helicopter... while chatting with Alfred. If this book doesn't make you happy, then you probably just don't like Batman.

JLA #2: Black and blue? I have never heard that one before. Perfect. Hilarious. Instant classic. I'll be using that phrase now, much more often than the old fashioned "WF"...

Wonder Woman #2: Strife (and the Gods generally) defeating mortals indirectly through their application of their own natures. Strife doesn't hit her foes in the face; she has her foes do that to one another.

JLA #2: "The Guardians tell me everything." Ladies and gentlemen, let's put our hands together for Hal Jordan, one of DC's greatest natural comedians.

Batman #2: The great work on building Gotham's history continues, incorporating elements from the recent Batman film franchise, from Anton Furst's Gotham, from the current All-Star Western storyline, and tip-of-the-hat homages toward Owlman.

JLA #2. Barry doesn't even bother to pretend he could keep his secret identity from Superman and Batman.

Wonder Woman #2: Hippolyta. You just know she plays rugby.

JLA #2: In a very logical turn of events and one consistent with the character of Central City, the Flash is preventing Barry from fighting crime. OH, the comic book irony!

Batman #2: Why Lincoln March -- and Bruce Wayne -- love Gotham City so much. Now that makes sense.

Wonder Woman #2: Well, there's the traditional mythical origin of Wonder Woman, with its weirdness duly noted. But is it a clever lie, with Diana's real origin being that one that's been leaked on the internet? If so, it would explain why some god doesn't just zap her back into the Pygmalion dust she came from. Because, gosh, she's mighty lippy toward the gods, isn't she?

JLA #2: "I never break the law." Suddenly, I looked at those four characters, and their different personalities and perspectives all snapped into place. Barry the cop; Hal the marshal; Bruce the detective; Superman the vigilante. Nice done, Geoff.

Batman #2: Gotham City has its own nursery rhymes (and apparently in free verse). Well, of course it does!

Wonder Woman #2: "Cockless coop" is not a phrase I ever expected to read in my comics. Or is it 'co-op'? Because that would be even funnier.

JLA #2: The personality pairings. You may not like Geoff Johns' plotting (or as some wags would have it ,"plodding"), but his talent for characterization shines here. He knows that the key to writing the JL as an Ensemble Cast won't be simply defining each character, but defining each character pairing. Batman and GL are the odd couple crime-fighting duo. Flash and GL, the best friends in a road comedy. Batman and Flash are instantly the Detective and the Forensics Expert. Superman and GL are the Action-oriented Powerhouses. And, after only a brief conversation, Batman and Superman become the Vigilantes as well as the Adults and the Big Picture Guys.

Things That Made Me Happy...

…in my comics this week.

Wonder-head-butt!!! I was dumbstruck with awe at the sight of Wonder Woman head-butting a centaur this week. Now we finally know why she wears that tiara (and why it’s clearly NOT a princess-y tiara). It wasn’t just the head-butt itself that was over-the-top fabulous. It was the little smirk on WW’s face beforehand that said, “Heh, if this stupid centaur thinks he can step on Wonder Woman THAT easily, he’s got another think coming, and now I’m perfectly positioned to latch onto him with the vise-like grip of my mighty Amazonian thighs and head-butt the Hades out of him… thank the gods I’m not wearing pants!!!” And, yes, that’s why she doesn’t wear pants – for the same reason she doesn’t wear sleeves. Although she does wear arm-bracelets and a choker that appear to be designed so that she injures herself through any sudden motion. Tough lady.

The team has struck just the right note with Wonder Woman herself. Yes, she is butt-kicking warrior. But she’s also gentle and wise without being saccharine (“I could take that key right out of your hand; but…”); powerful without being overpowering. Honestly, this is first time I’ve read a Wonder Woman comic and thought, “Hey! That’s Lynda Carter!”, and I mean that as a whole-hearted compliment.

Azarello and Chiang knocked this one out of the park. This is how a book with gods & monsters should read; creepy, gory, spooky. The Incendiary Trio of Prophecy, the Rolling Head of Flicka, the Caduceus Key. It was like reading an issue of Gaiman’s Sandman, and I mean that as a whole-hearted compliment.

Bat-computer-linked Bluetooth contact lens with facial recognition and lip-reading software? YES, PLEASE! Look; I love it when Batman bops someone in the head with a batarang as much as you do. But he deserves some post-Australo-Aborginal tech, too, don’t you think? I mean, other than the Batmobile? And those contacts are enormously practical, like a little digital nomenclator sitting right on your iris! PLUS, they allow the author to use them as expositional caption boxes; genius. AND they allow for the whole “Sir, we got an anonymous tip that Grissom’s men are cleaning out Axis Chemicals” routine. You know, Ollie’s stepping up the tech over in Star City – oops, I mean SEATTLE *eyeroll—so Bruce needs to up his game. These contacts and the “CSI gloves” he uses are exactly what is needed.

Batman is Detective. Don’t get me wrong; Detective #1 was certainly… interesting. But it was all “Batman mixing it up with pointy-stabby naked Joker”. If that sort of thing is going to be in a Batman comic at all (and I’m not sure it SHOULD, since I’m fan of Murderous Joker but not of Violent Joker), it should be in Batman and not in Detective. Meanwhile, this first issue of Batman read like, well … what an issue of Detective should be. It had Batman using forensic science on the fly and in the field, Batman making deduction, clues both clever and dramatic, and one HECK of cliffhanger mystery. THIS is Batman comic I REALLY want to keep reading out of interest, not obligation or devotion. And on top of that, an intelligent, civically engaged, outgoing Bruce Wayne with plans to renovate Gotham is honor to his parent memory. THIS is the Bruce Wayne we needed during No Man’s Land. And I mean that as a whole-hearted compliment.

It’s all about Brainy. Ah, the Legion! The one comic that has always prided itself on a continuity-based impenetrability that makes the Iron Curtain of Time look about as solid as the protoplasmic slime that remains after touching Glorith’s hourglass of devolutionary radiation (how’s that for an obscure Legion-history-based metaphor!) . Naturally it makes perfect sense to me. Happy to see the Legion still explains very explicitly the ONE thing that the casual reader is most likely to already know or to be able to deduce: what the Legionnaire’s names and powers are. But that’s okay… because that’s really all you need to know in a Legion story… the rest just kinds of works itself out as you read. The future’s supposed to be a little mysterious and vague, after all. The Legionnaires are efficiently and traditionally characterized. Cham’s about stealth and subtlety, Mon-El is about the power/responsibility equation, Colossal Boy’s about being an oaf, and Brainy is about Brainy Being The Smartest Person in Any Room. As for Ultra-Boy, he’s still a beefy bad boy, but they show him using his vision powers as much as his other ones; that’s good, since those are the ones that keep him from being just a Flying Brick. The new recruits didn’t seem like very interesting additions, but who knows, maybe they’re just typical Legion cannon fodder; I certainly wouldn’t mind seeing Dragon-Face (or whatever her name is) get offed. Naturally, the Legion is (as always) “woefully under-manned and under-powered due to our recent losses”, including, apparently, the little-mourned Earth-Man. And I don’t mean that as a whole-hearted compliment.

Things That Made Me Happy

... in my comics this week.

• Xanshi as the anti-Mogo.
• Happy Magic Fun Swordgirl.
• Tiger Moth. Really? Tiger Moth. That's... amazing. Big points to the few of you who know who she is, without looking it up.
• Ouch. When RPG doesn't mean 'role playing game'.
• Hm. Musical notation is clearly very different on New Earth than it is here.
• The Shield's origin was very efficient!
• Fate's bluff.
• "This would be a good time to start climbing down the mountain."
• Sigh. Metropolis is so beautiful from above.
• I'm thirsty for some Atlantean mold samples.
• What happens to the grandfather clock.
• Carol Ferris, a pilot herself, resists autopilot. You go, Carol.
• Ah ha. The source of the 'Speed Force'. Clever. As usual!
• Have you ever noticed that heroes always, but always, fly past national landmarks? Is that, you know, in the flight plan?
• Okay. Monster Men like Batwoman. That was... unexpected.
• Thank you, J. Torres, for fleshing out the Great Ten, yet another of Grant Morrison's throwaway ideas.
• A free Mister Colon Cleanser!!!!
• "A boring lab rat was romanticized into the most selfless hero of his time."
• I want to re-position Jimmy Olsen's bookcase so badly, I can just taste it.
• LOL, the return of D-Bomb!
• Mattoon? As in the Mad Gasser of Mattoon? That's... really odd.
• So, who is that man suntanning on a mound of skulls?
• The Periodic Table of Deathtraps.
• I like Tom Tresser more and more.
• Um... well, whatever "Prof. Pyg" was, I won't miss him. Just another excuse for Morrison to write free-association dadaesque dialog, I'll wager.
• Sinestro's humiliating construct. That's just mean, even for Sinestro.
• Kate's outfit at the ball.
• Well, you can't blame Mammoth for that, now, can you?
• OOOooooo, Wildcat versus Magog, battle of the tongues.
• Why Max skipped through time. Oh, Geoff, you can make anything make sense in this crazy mixed-up world of ours! And you're dreamy.
  
• The Web working on behalf of the Shield. And, ah ha... the Inferno connection. And Dr. Dickering. Why, it's all one big Red Circle, isn't it?
• Wait, are we going to see Aquaman versus a dinosaur?
• "Did you just say... humble?" Batman really is a funny guy. Learned it from Alfred, I think.
• You know, being drugged and locked in the trunk of sinking car is just the sort of thing that does happen to the Question.
• Jimmy shows up. Slightly late.
• The charming understatement that Hal & Carol aren't "like Barry & Iris or Lois & Clark."
• Maggie's outfit at the ball. I laughed out loud.
• If Doctor Domino is not behind all of this, I will be sorely disappointed. As usual.
• "Greetings, fearful leader." I tell ya, these Black Lanterns have a wicked sense of humor!
• I like that Batwoman calls her father 'sir'.
• Good for you, Eddie Bloomberg.
• Even he calls him "Mr. Garrick".
  
• Krypto versus Hootie.
• Okay, I give up; I have no idea what H.S. stands for.
• Now, that is classic crazy comic booky Silver Age science; thanks, Geoff!
• I fully expect indie bands named 'Blume of Bobba' and "Glomulus of Poppo' within a year or two.
• Bette is her cousin? Oh, it's all so perfect.
• Of course that's what the Calculator wants Kid Eternity for. How stupid of me.
• Thanks, James, for remembering Odd Man and where he lives.
• Let's all try to remember that Dr. Fate does have an M.D., you know.
• Agent Orange finally discovers something he doesn't want.
• Jimmy uses his watch. Slightly late.
• Prof. Thawne untangles some knots.

Things That Made Me Happy

... in my comics this week.

• For those of you who can't read it: "He's also late. I'll get to the Star before you. I survived the mountain of fire. I am the true Element Man. I am the only one. "
• The Monarch Playing Card Company? I didn't see that one coming.
• Of course they landed on Dinosaur Island.
• I really like that Lois hasn't magically forgotten or forgiven who killed her sister.
• Bizarro Wonder Woman's mission.
• Finally, the Krypton/Daxam connection is explained.
• Heh. I really like the new Batgirl. It's kind of like Harley Quin as a good guy.
• Bizarro Flash's symbol.
• That the Black Lantern "difficulties" affect the Outsiders powerfully and are addressed, but not directly and not by name.
• I really want to see an Actioneer comic now.
• Bizarro Amazo. Brilliant.
• Gods help me, I like the new Terra. What's her deal, anyway? Is she not a human?
• I just love Cat Grant's new hairdo.
• Owlman's ears.
• I'm not sure why but... I'm actually liking the currently JLA. Which makes no sense at all.
• The batawrong.
• Heh. Rainbow Superman. Nice touch.
• The Web taking inspiration from his father's dying message in a ... non-standard way.
• I can't of many villains beside Mr. Freeze who would attempt brain surgery on themselves.
• The Penguin always survives.
• PHIL480 is a requirement? A 400 level class... a requirement? For what, buddhahood?
• "Busty airbone lass"; best codename ever!
• Glad to see someone remembers what happened to the Spook.
• The dog survives. The dog always survives a horror movie.
• I really like the new Bruce Wayne. He's very useful. Why doesn't he just become part of the team?
• Finally, he puts some CLOTHES ON. Gotham's not that warm year round.
• Smallville still has drive-ins? Er, had?
• I love the connectedness of all the Red Circle heroes.

Things That Made Me Happy...

in my comics this week.

• Okay, I'll admit it: I didn't know who Charles Bukowski was either.
• Only Cliff Steele would say, "Typical" at that point.
• Yes... what is a human life, balanced against a perfectly cooked omelette?
• Batman discovers that Moscow ain't Gotham.
• "At least they're about how fairness and justice still prevail in the world, and that's important these days." Hear, hear.
• Really, it surprisingly anyone is allowed to build a Ferris wheel or a roller coaster in the DCU anymore, because it's always just a matter of time... .
• Eddie's sex-change shortcut.
• I'm amazed that I've been made to care so much about Kryptonian politics.
• Heh. Now THAT is Artemis.
• The Human Flame versus Miss Army Knife. Guess who wins?
• Whoa. DP kicks butt.
• The Gotham laws about important conversations.
• Lookalikes. In flavors.
• Free will override? Heh. That's the Chief's work alright.
• Alura does her job.
• It's good that someone remembered Jay's friends. But that was a cheap and unnecessary way to do so. I officially disapprove.
• "I eat impossible for breakfast and crap out unicorns!" is my new signature saying.
• Rita and Karen as friends. That makes perfect sense!
• Black holes that negotiate.
• Really, of all the sentences I've read lately, "C'est le chlore, un element chimique gazeux!" was among the least likely.
• Mr. Polka Dot's ironic fate.
• Wow. A riot of Kryptonians is not a pretty thing. Unless it's drawn really really well.
• Kanigher Street, indeed.
• Zummazumma, the Living Doll. Priceless.
• Ah. Banshee. That's makes perfect sense.
• Wow. James Robinson remembers how Ray and Freddy know each other. Impressive.
• Mr. Bateman. Lord, I nearly fell out of my chairing laughing at that.
• I LOVE Copper.
• Say, what you like; it's good to see Congo Bill again.
• I actually had to look up 'furikake'.
• That's from Dante's Inferno, by the way. "Abandon all hope, ye who enter."
• 26-th dimensional hypergriffins. Really, want more do you want?
• I, too, am still unhappy with my fricatives.
• Skelecopter. Priceless.
• "This a job for Superman." If you are not reading World of New Krypton, I call thee fool.

Things That Made Me Happy

... in my comics this week.

• I always said Todd was well-rounded.
• Superman is full, of, well, action. And lots of scenes.
• I'm impressed she took the time to have the razor blade personalized.
• Wonder Woman is a racist who only talks to white animals. What about Mammals of Color, huh?
• Crabby King Chimera; has he met Zatara?
• Zatara's suprising new old assistant.
• "How do you think I'd look in a trenchcoat?"
  
• Alice goes Demosthenes one better!
• Roulette's opponent at cards.
• The Mad Mod's makeover!
• Can't wrap... head ... around ... Dr. Light + Guardian...!
• Detective is so beautiful, I'd buy it even if I couldn't read English.
• That's Atlas's boss? Uh-oh.
• Miss Martian's three-inch heels.
• "These boots seem completely impractical in a combat situation."
• All-American Kid.
• Heh. Steel must have learned that one from the Joker.
• Wow; finally, a team the JSA doesn't simply overwhelm.
• Atlas is evil... but really hot.
• Kids; they always wind up stabbing you in the back.
• Black Canary's Fun Closet. Yeah, I am so sure that stuff is for "undercover" work. More like "under covers".
• Aquagirl to the rescue!
  
• Tellus and Sodam.
• I could watch Batwoman kick ass all day.
• Zatara's big hat.
• Abe Lincoln gets take-out.
• I very much enjoy the swoopy thing, too.
• Wait, did Black Canary just call Wonder Woman a lesbian? Snort.
• Steel getting punched through not one, but two panel borders.
• I love the fact that Alice is basically a nut with a gun. I just love Gotham City.
• The Royal Flush Gang. Really, it doesn't matter what they're doing, because they are the Royal Flush Gang. But they are doing just what they are supposed to.
• Dog versus Question.
• Mark Merlin!?

Things That Made Me Happy...

in my comics this week.

• Really, I can't remember the last time I saw Aquaman say, "YIPPEE!"
• Lek lokok nak.
• Matt Bensen's ingenious out of the box solution.
• Wally versus George Washington.
• Walker finds what he's looking for... in himself.
• The Heroes' Holiday.
• ... versus mailmen? OMG, when I figured it out, I nearly laughed my fool head off.
• The helpfulness of Dr. Arkham.
• The return of Bruce Wayne, billionaire philanthropist.
• Tempest's argument with Mera; sorry, I think Mera wins.
• The Wonder Woman and John Stewart discuss equal rights with the Founding Fathers.
  
• In case any one ever needs to check for any reason, I, too, only have 28 teeth.
• Hal updates Barry, in 3D.
• Even dead, the Elongated Man is still a jerk.
• The Flash versus Barry Allen. Absolutely priceless...!
• Yeah, Carol looks really safe, LOL...
• I finally have some real respect for Thomas Elliot. Great move.
• "Sounds like flies".
• Element Dog. I just keeping saying it, again and again: Element Dog. And I smile each time.
• Hey, she really is an investigative report, isn't she? You go, Lo-lo!
• Oh, no. Not Bzzzt!
• Chronos's Washington Monument. Nearly laughed my fool head off.
• Carter and Kendra have new jobs!
• "I'm sure anywhere you go in the universe, you'll find stupid people."

Things That Made Me Happy

in my comics this week.

• "Three weeks from now"? Interesting; I look forward to finding out who's beating the crap out of Batman, and why.
• Barry's benday fade-out.
• William Hand's unusual career move.
• The severe change in Black Canary's origin. I approve.
• Superman's xenophobia...?
• Kara's pet problems.
• So.... I assume Tim Wayne owns Wayne Enterprises now?
• Two-Face --wisely -- insisting on seeing things from more than one perspective, and the knowledge that gives him.
• Sean Sonus: classic villain origin!
• Coast City Googie.
• Wait are those Parasite-hatchlings or what? Ick.
• "They resemble nothing less than the mandrillus sphinx monkey of the family cercopithecidae..."
• Billy loses his Marbles.
• Batman and Gordon, helpless.
• Why Dick talks so much.
• Page two of Green Lantern. Whoa, Blackest Night is going to be very unpleasant, and in the best possible way.
• "I knew Sapphire's fondness for giant clams would get her into trouble."
• Anticipation may not be good for him, but I'm sure enjoying it!
• The Kamandi footer.
• A ball gown made of Kevlar. Heh.
• "Cretinous, mouth-breathing, leg breaker." Now that is how the Penguin should sound.
• The Metal Men's fashion sense.
• Best. Costume origin. Ever.
• I bet the Sergeant's mother's maiden name was Jordan.
• Simon's selchamorphic dirigible.
• Just like the last time you destroyed the school. Heh.
• Deadman noir.
• Heh. We do all remember what the essential message of "Easter" is, don't we?

Things That Made Me Happy

...in my comics this week.

• Garfield ups his game.
• Oh, well, then.... gravity cables. That's how you lift Manhattan.
• Deathstrokes' Solomonic solution.
• OMG, Inferno makes me HOT (appropriately enough).
• Truth be told, gorillas are lousy in bed. Even giant ones.
• They didn't downplay Static's powers, did they?
• The brevity of Kay's reprieve.
• So, like the Fantastic Four representing the four elements, I guess this foursome represent Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation, Tom of Finland Fetishism, Bondage, and Golden Showers?
  
• Vandal's night mask.
• Uh, Lois? Don't you think that's overkill on the locks?
• Abuse.
• Black Lightning and Static are the new Batman and Robin.
• "It's a dead body. Get used to it."
  
• OMG, Holocaust makes me HOT (appropriately enough).
• Commissioner Gordon's biggest fan.
• I give up... what ARE those numbers?
• "Who is Batgirl?" is the new "Who is Superwoman?"
  
• Power Girl doesn't really need to do anything on her covers, does she?
• Dini's Harley Quin goes shopping.
• Oh, of course, Sam Lane knew him.
• Kate Spencer's gutsy speech.
• OMG, Firefly makes everyone HOT!
  
• The Red Circle articles.
• Hey, Jeff Pierce is fireproof!
• Batman takes his shot.
  
• The Origin of the Ultra-Humanite.
• If Lana Lang is dying, why aren't I happier?

Things That Made Me Happy

in my comics this week.

Actually, my comics arrived late this week, because UPS was delayed by the racist octogenarian madman who shot and killed a security guard at the Holocaust Museum.

So, the Thing That Made Me Happiest about my comics this week was they had on average less horrible happenings than my own city.

• I have no idea what and who that is at the end of Action Comics, other than that, whatever it is, it's some good old-fashioned comic book fun.
• Speaking of which.... THINKO!
• One doesn't expect Alice Cooper to be quote in Super Friends.
• What Barry used to do for charity.
• So, it is now okay for me to think Tim Drake Wayne is really hot?
• I thought I saw something in the background of Flash Rebirth 1; now I get it.
• Ion's clever ploy.
• The return of the Black Beetle.
• Yes... Abra Kadabra is the one you would have to get rid of, first and foremost.
• Batman lives. Always.
• The delighfully ironic fate of Lyssa Drax.
• Batman protects rappers, too.
• The real Joker card hanging in the Batcave.
• "No one from the Sciencells escapes the Alpha Lanterns."
• Good to see Max again.
• Wait, so, that means Guy Gardner watched Brokeback Mountain? Heh.
• Mr. Freeze's motive.
• Playing lightning bolts and bracelets.
• Yes, opening a book can shatter worlds, I suppose.
• Iris's umbrella. Really, she's so mean, I'd just assume the rain would be afraid to fall on her.
• The "ultimate man cave". Heh.
• The Professor. Who isn't the surprise really; but the what and the how will be.
• Well, that's one way to bookmark a page.
• The Blue Snowman, unnecessary backstory included!

Things That Made Me Happy...

... in my comics this week.

• Mina's freedom.
• I never thought Jonah Hex would make me start singing, "It's Raining Men".
• You know, a "circus gang" isn't the single most original idea ever.
• Hey, isn't that the cover to " "The Dark Plane Returns"?
• Always meet in a fireworks warehouse.
• I'll take Minhattin.
• That's... that's a cutaway diagram of the Batcave. I am speechless; and thankful. Curse you!!!!
• White man. With white hair. Wearing all white. In a coal mine.
• Prof. Milo. So gratifying.
• Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.
• Toyman needs to read more Silver Age comics, LOL!
• Flaming nipples... as an idiom.
• Wow. Green Lanterns doing, like, research. Refreshing.
• Huh. Torturing nuns? Never thought of that; need to keep that one in mind.
• Bane's real name.
• Oh, where's Korgi when you need it...?
• Doesn't crystal-pierced Kryptonians look and sound like a refreshing summertime dessert?
• Well, that was a short-lived piece of good news.
• Okay, if this the return of Dr. Domino, I will take back everything I ever said about this writer; every single thing.
• The revenance of Jonan Hex.
• "You don't need your gall bladder, do you? Because I could really use the space."
• Great Rao, Kal has GUTS! Still, defying Zod is nothing compared to defying Perry White, Masterman.
• Oh, don't lie. You have so worn leather pants before.
• Ah ha! Churchill was a fan of El Papagayo!
• The 'Motivation Bunker'? Ouch. Well put.
• "I don't think I can take this anymore." Hey, Hal subscribes to JLA!
• Thanks, William Sturges, for obeying the Prime Directive of Horror Movies.
• "Not even that time we dug up that feller with six gold teeth."
• The reality everyone knows in the heart but denies in conversation. You scare me, Gail.
• OMG. Jonah, Lazarus, Bat, and Tallulah? Oh yeah, the Wild Justice League rides!
• I know European circus slang when I hear it, too!
• Condiment King. Really, what more do you want?
• If you said, "Mr. Polka Dot", you win.

Things That Made Me Happy...

in my comics this week.

• That in Metropolis guards discuss existentialism.
• Leland McCauley? Really? That's... very strange. But just a coincidence, I'm sure.
• Batman teams up with the Haunted Tank.
• Hal Jordan, disarmed.
• That Vixen, Firestorm, and Green Lantern were the ones to confront Hardware.
• "Seems like twenty years ago but it really wasn't." Heh.
• I have a feeling we should recognize some of those people at the party, looking at us. Do you?
• The truth about Tom.
• Sinestro, on love.
• The Shield, and Static, on the big screens.
• Thank you for remembering what Vicki Vale originally was: a photojournalist who suspected Batman's secret identity. And a scantily-clad sexpot.
• Kung pow!
• The Queen of Fables' favorite drink.
• "Luciphage". Nice.
• I trust you, Todd!
• The Shield still lives in D.C.
• Why Mon-El's powers keep winking out, which is perfectly consistent with why Superman was never able to cure lead poisoning.
• Leslie's bodyguard.
• Now, there's the missing member of the original Justice Society!
• Batman, on book burning.
• Yes, Courtney; Albert is dense. How could you not have noticed?

Things That Made Me Happy

... in my comic books this week.

• Always good to see Wonder Woman versus a nuclear missile.
• A visit from Cabal. Okay, that's actually something that happened in my comic book store, but that's close enough.
• 57 cents.
• Ah, so THAT's why Thom got a job as a gravedigger. Wasn't expecting that. But, as always, Brainy forced it to make sense.
• Superman was fascinating this week, without a Superman at all. Robinson, doing what he does best, has made Metropolis and its characters come alive.
• Whoa. Magical Siamese elephants.
• The Riddler starts Gotham Sirens, I see... .
• The nameless tombstone.
• "Another room full of ice. I'm starting to sense a pattern." I always loved that little guy!
• A dog in a dentist's office is one thing; but an owl...?
• Orange versus Blue and Green. With Violet and Red and Yellow lurking in the wings. Oh, this is going to be one sweet and pretty war... .
• "I followed it step-by-step with little success." Not only one of my favorite character's but one of comics' greatest comedians.
• Eating the candles.
• The power of Lex Luthor's hair.
• T.O. Morrow might destroy you, but he doesn't want to see you cry.
• Al makes Grant sing.
• "Leviathan, is that you?" Yeah, I cried.
• Okay, that return/reveal was definitely worth a two-page spread.
• "Everyone like ice cream."
• Tellus.
• While Two-Face was poorly characterized in Gotham Underground, everyone else was just great, and I enjoy their interaction.
  
• That's... not what I expected from the Time Trapper.
• Ares' gift looks... unpleasant.
• Zatara vs. Jimmy Olsen; advantage, Olsen.
• Hal's attitude toward "stealth" as a "superpower".
• And, of course, it's good to see Central City still looking as ridiculous as ever, just as it should...

Things That Made Me Happy...

in my comics this week.

• Wait... David Seville is Armenia's UN ambassador? That actually makes sense.
• Well, there's the line where Kryptonian tough love turns to just plain bad parenting.
• Acorns? How very... thematic.
  
• Arkillo's necklace.
• Aquaman brings his trident to UN meetings? Probably in case the Australia rep gets out of line.
• *Giggle*! You can't "decimate each and every"; do DC writers no longer own dictionaries?
• Ah, the elegant simplicity of the Gamma Gong.
• Ah... Sinestro's daughter! Interesting.
  
• Hey, is Oracle's friend the guy who posed for the Big Belly Burger logo?
• Flash, the World's Fastest Statue.
• Fear keeps the Daxamites in check ... just as it always has.
• Step by step we get closer to her walking again.
• Kangaroos that say "HOLA!"
• Giant ants. Always a winner.
• Blue Man Group. Heh.
• An autographed picture of Starro...?!
• 7734. Clever.
• That's a big snake. A really BIG snake.
• Nice to see Kanjar Ro get some sweet, sweet octopus love.
  
• Attempt raped of paraplegics. Always a winner.

Things That Made Me Happy...

in my comics this week.

• Why the Vega system is off-limits. Now I get it.
• And let's hope that's the last we see of the Nightwing costume.
• The Riddler noting things for ... future reference.
• Clark Kent the farmboy knows how to deal with animals.
• Flux capacitor humor.
• So, I figure, since it's stated 100 times that that simply has to be Jason Todd... that it isn't.
• The Controllers seem to have bitten off more than they can chew.
• The Orange Lantern, however, does not.
• Two-Face, as an actual crime lord, just like the old days.
  
• I think I love Liana, too.
• I wasn't ready for a Tiny Titans/Secret Six mash-up.
• Wow; they really want us to buy the new Power Girl series, don't they?
• Kind of surprising who wears Booster Gold's personal scent!
• That's funnier than crowbars usually are.
• I don't think I've ever liked Hal more than I did as he was sassing Ganthet this week.
• What the Thought-Beasts can do.
• The Riddler knows the Hymn to Aten. In hieroglyphs. I love him.
• Good to know the Guardians notice little things like the formation of new planets populated by superpowered supremacists in already occupied solar systems.
• Alfred states the obvious. But makes it look cool.
• Well... I guess not everyone loves Skeets after all.
• I am so glad that guy was dressed as Blackhawk.
• If only there were a toll-free number to vote on Damian.
  
• Even though it's a brief cameo in the 'wrong' book, Central City still looks like Central City.
• Can the Artist Guild throw a party, or what?
• Hey, now; that is the Penguin! Find the person who did me this favor... then kill them!
• Ankh. Excellent.
• "Insignificus" is the best name since the Sivana's last visited the Maternity Ward.
• Labor Day on New Krypton!
• I dunno; how bad can someone who tries to kill Damian be, really?
• Heh. You just never know how they're going to sneak Streaky in.
• Booster Gold's strategically ripped costume. And body.
• Hey, Allura! Ya forgot to take out the anti-grav rollers!
• Ouch. And right after Tim's face had just healed so nicely...