There's some big Heroclix announcement today, so (whatever it is) I'll celebrate by imagining:
Plotclix, with its new starter set "DC Writer Icons"!
Perplex, down the dial, since that's all he does to readers. Hypersonic Speed, because the ideas hit and run away so fast that you almost don't haven't enough time to recognized how half-baked they are. Almost.
Outwit, because, although so many of his solutions seem obvious IN RETROSPECT, I've never yet figured any out in advance! He also has Support (better known as healing) because he can take characters that have been essentially kayoed and put them back on the board strongly than ever.
Energy explosion, because every action has lots of splash that touches lots of figures but without much impact; and Green Lantern Team Ability, because every plot carries along at least 8 unnecessary adjacent characters.
Mastermind, because the damage in his plots always gets passed along to lots of low-cost generic figures whose names you don't know.
The Legion "wildcard" TA, because he has no plot of his own, only plots copied from someone else.
Charge! Close combat expert!! You ask, oh faithful reader,why?! Because his stuff has a fast punch up front, but if you take only one step back it becomes meaningless.
Exploit weakness. She grabs on to a character and wears them away by picking at their defenseless "inner selves", click after click after click.
Imperviousness. No one, but NO ONE, can get through that prose and even if they did, he'd elude your understanding with his "im-probability roll".
Long-range combat expert. It takes him a while to set up the shot, but when it hits, it's dead on and devastating!
Poison. If you let him get close to your character, he'll poison it slowly from within until it's an unrecognizable shadow of its original self.