Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Postcard from the Future: June 6, 3006

Dear Blockade Boy,

Met up with your friends in the Legion; thanks for the intro! They're very easy-going; I don't know why people find it hard to understand them.They invited me to stay at their place, but I said no because they really didn't seem to have any extra room there. Why, they've barely got room for their expository narration balloons!

Using an invention, your friend Brainaic 5 is helping me get hep on all the futuristic teen lingo.As you can see, I'm not doing very well, ha ha!

Grife, did I laugh when I learned that the future's so squeaky clean that, instead of saying "@#~#$* you!", the kids say:

"Behold ... the Flight Ring!"

How quaint! I've been waiting to get caught in traffic so I could use it appropriately against a "nass-head", but there don't see to be any cars in the future. Everyone just seems to already be wherever the story requires them to be. Sprokkin' awesome!


joncormier said...

Wow, Brainiac is a nasty one isn't he? Giving you the bollocks like that. "Behold...the Flight Ring!" indeed.

Harvey Jerkwater said...

According to the chart, Brainiac 5 and Koko the albino space monkey are bound by an "unusual attachment."

Ah. So that's what the kids are calling it these days.

Gol-darn pervy Coluans. I swear. In my century, when a man and a monkey were...oh, never mind.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your beautiful gift of "Behold... the flight ring."

Scipio said...

Actually, Harvey, the Legion constitution has an amendment that clarifies that "unusual attachment" means "between a man and a monkey".

Anonymous said...

Awp! My poor 21st century cranium doesn't "grok" that "future-lingo" too well either.

Jeremy Rizza said...

Brainiac kept calling me an "f-type" and it took me a while to figure out what he was getting at. And then I kicked his ass.

Fun fact: in the future, earth-moving projects are accomplished solely through narration. For example, a specially-trained corps of poet-engineers just off-panel are vocally hollowing out the earth next to the Legion clubhouse in preparation for a man-made lake. The next step is to stock it with widemouth bass. And crappies! Plenty of crappies.

Say "hi" to Porcupine Pete for me!