"Tracy!"

Okay, I don't mean to obsess on the Wonder Woman movie, but when a man of my stripe lies in bed at night thinking about what he'd do with Wonder Woman, I think it's culturally significant.

Regardless of what one does with her character, there is one sure way to ensure the success of the film: the right villain. Thus, let us a look for a moment at Wonder Woman foes like Dr. Psycho, the Cheetah, Ares, the Silver Swan, the Yellow Peri, Paula Van Gunther, and Giganta.

And then tell them to sit this one out.

It's obvious who needs to be the villain in this film. Wonder Woman's most fabulous foe, the reason god put Bob Kanigher on earth, DC's answer to Dr. Doom:

Dr. Domino

I mean, really; must I spell things like this out for Hollywood, or what?


There are three steps to box-office boffo for WW The Movie:

1. Use Dr. Domino as the villain.
2. Have him, at some point, launch a missile at Manhattan (that'll get Marvel fans to the theaters).
3. Cast the right voice as Dr. Domino.

Uh-oh. I need help on this one. Not just anyone can be the voice of Dr. Domino. I know this first-hand, because this very panel was in last year's "Dramatic Reading Contest" at Big Monkey. And when they cast that Person From TV With the Whiny-Snarky Voice as Dr. Doom, it didn't help the FF movie (which was still fabulous, because Marvel knows better than to take its film project pretentiously seriously; that's for their comics).

So help Hollywood get this film off the ground and keep it flying;

WHO SHOULD BE THE VOICE OF DR. DOMINO
in The Wonder Woman Movie?

52 Things That Occurred to Me...

about the return of the multiverse.

1. There are a potential 51 versions of Vibe left, and I couldn't be happier about that.
   
2. Is there a world where Power Girl is still wearing that headband, and how do we avoid it?
3. Is there a world where Marv Wolfman never came to DC, and if so, how do I get there?
4. Does the Haneyverse exist as a world of its own or is it too self-contradictory?
5. Will I get to see a world where Koryak finally hooks up with Officer Malrey?
6. Does the gang at Ace Comics get a universe and how does one get an invite?
7. Is there a universe in which Ted Knight is the Voice of God? I mean, other than ours?
8. Does the multiverse mean we might actually get stories told in the Golden or Silver Age style again?
9. I have no doubt that the Phantom Stranger is exactly the same in every universe.
10. And that Darkseid isn't interesting in any of them.
11. Do you now need a valid passport to cross the vibrational barriers between the universes?
12. Do any worlds still have letter columns?
13. Is there a world in which Dr. Thirteen is the lead story and the Spectre is the back-up?
14. Will any other world get its own "line" of comics, kind of like the Animated Universe?
15. Should it?
    
16. Is there a world where The Joker lasted 100 issues and Azrael only nine?
17. Is President Bush the greatest statesman Earth-3 has ever known?
18. Have gorillas conquered any of the universes, or did the dachshunds stop them?
19. Interesting as Waid's Legion might be, can we get back to Earth 247 now? It was much more interesting than this childish generational conflict.
20. Do all Ranns suck?
21. What must be the total number of people that any version of June Walton has slept with?
22. What must be the total number of people that any version of Dale Gunn has slept with?
23. If any of the old multiverse worlds is familiar to you, which one would be your favorite (other than "Earth-1" and "Earth Prime")?
24. Are there any worlds where Blue Devil is straight? Bi, even?
    
25. Are coupons for Palisades Park from one universe good in all the others?
26. Is 52 worlds enough?
27. Mr. Mxyzptlk and Bat-Mite knew all along, didn't they?
    
28. Are there any worlds where the JLA is even remotely normal?
29. The multiverse is really just a corporate mechanism that makes it easier for DC to absorb other companies or their intellectual properties, isn't it?
30. Don't you hope there's a world where Lois still dresses like that?
31. Is Hal Jordan's ego visible from other universes?
32. I'd like to think there's a world where Jack Cole lived to see how he is now revered.
    
33. Does the multiverse mean we might get to see Toy Boy again? Please?!
34. Can we please send the Fourth World off to an Earth-4 just to keep them away from decent comic books?
35. I think that, given his powers, Vibe should be able to transverse the vibrational barriers, so one should be showing up any day. Maybe even three or four!
    
36. Can you use Baron Winter's house to get from one universe to the other, even though it's not Metro-accessible?
37. I believe there's a happy happy world where Wonder Woman is dead and Dr. Domino is not.
    
38. Did DC invent the concept of the multiverse or was that pioneered elsewhere in sci-fi literature?
39. Are there any worlds where all your extra copies of The Death of Superman are actually valuable? And do they have Ebay?
    
40. How many panels would it take Geoff Johns to ship Bart and Jaime off to Earth-8 and bring back Barry and Ted?
    
41. If he did, would it really upset anybody?
42. There should be at least one world where all crime and evil has been completely eliminated. By Lady Cop. Oh, and there's no VD any more, either.
    
43. Is there a world where Batman's just a pale copy of Green Arrow, or does Green Arrow suck multiversally?
    
44. I hope Earth 616 isn't part of the multiverse.
45. Can we please see a world that's been conquered by, say, Per Degaton or the like? I mean -- what they actually do all day? Exult?
    
46. Please tell me there's a world where the writers actually understand Aquaman.
47. I'd read a book like 52 even if it came out monthly; is that what The Brave & The Bold will be?
    
48. Should the Captain Marvel family stay in "our" world or get their own?
49. Should we get some kind of vote or say in how the multiverse looks? I mean, other than voting with our wallets?
50. If you could decide at least one thing or person would exist in every world of the multiverse, what would it be?
51. If you could decide at least one thing or person would not exist in any world of the multiverse, what would it be? And, no, you may not say "Vibe".
    
52. Will there be any practical, noticeable changes with the advent of the multiverse or it will it just be an excuse for retcons and the dismissal of goofs and incontinuities?

Domino and Polaris

Hello, Internet; Doctor Domino here.

Last week I was in Japanese waters picking up a shipment of super-sarin and doing a bit of tie shopping. So I decided to swing the battleship over to visit my old college buddy, Doctor Polaris (or, as we used to call him behind his back at Dungeons & Dragons, "Anchorhead" Emerson).

We had an enjoyable time, but "Anchorhead", who could never hold his liquor, drank too much and "confessed" that he used to use his magnetic powers to reposition his figures during games.

Ha! The fool! As if Doctor Domino would not notice such a thing! Obviously he never figured out why I gave him a full set of PLASTIC D&D figures for Christmas during junior year. Doctor Domino always thinks ahead.

Anyway, we had lots of fun, but I think he became a tad jealous because I'm merely missing in limbo awaiting my eventual return while he's currently, well, dead. So, yesterday he sends me an email with a picture of himself, showing off for his friends at work:


Huh. Well, that may impress the boys at the office, but I've seen him hugging the toilet after tee many martoonis (which looks none too dignified with that helmet on), so I'm not impressed.

My gods, I bet he uses the close up in his Christmas cards this year.

But that's okay. I have a way to soon put old Anchorhead in his place. For I'm Doctor Domino; I'm thinking ahead; I have a plan... .

A Serious Difference Between DC and Marvel

If you really want to be serious about comics, you have to read Marvel. Marvel is serious, man. Marvel tackles serious issues (except for rape). Marvel's characters have serious problems (I mean, other than Joe Quesada).

If you want to understand just how serious Marvel is, read any of their stuff that's supposed to be funny. Urk.

When I talk to DC readers, I hear them say things like, "my comics were so much fun this week!" (assuming, you know, that they think decapitations, eye-gougings, sunderance, and rape are "fun"). When I talk to Marvel fans, everything's about relative badassedness, which character can beat which, and how many pounds each can benchpress.

Marvel's characters can, for the most part, go in two very large boxes:

• Misunderstood Misfits of Limited Ability Struggling To Do What They Can In A World That Doesn't Appreciate Them and
• Unfathomable Cosmic Beings of Unimaginable Power and Sloganistic Absolutism.

Or, as I usually think of it, What Adolescents Feel Like and What Adolescents Want To Feel Like.

In either case, it's very serious. Adolescents like to be taken very seriously and to take everything else very seriously. Not like kids. Kids are only interested in "fun"; silly DC comics are just for kids.

What knocks off the socks of a Marvel reader? A story full of Insert Anti-Hero killing bad guys or Insert Hero's inability to pull his life together despite every possible advantage, including high intelligence and superpowers.

What knocks off the socks of a DC reader? One page of Dr. Virus with Kryptococcus the Omni-Germ or a cameo by Mr. Terrible.

Anyway, as a result of all this seriousnosity, Marvel takes things seriously that DC cannot, like Marvel's villains. If you try to imagine that Marvel villains were suddenly folded into the DCU or to identify the New Earth counterparts of the villains of "Earth 616" , and you get something like...

• The Jester becomes the Prankster
• The Green Goblin becomes the Trickster
• Doctor Doom becomes Doctor Domino
• The Purple Man becomes Dr. Psycho
• Stiltman becomes Kite-Man
• Mysterio becomes the Spook
• Modok becomes Hector Hammond
• Kraven becomes ... Vartox?
• Scorpion becomes Copperhead
• Boomerang becomes Captain Boomerang
• Beetle becomes Killer Moth
• Magneto becomes Dr. Polaris
• Galactus becomes Mr. Nebula
• Superskrull becomes Amazo
• Fing Fang Foom becomes Chemo
• Radioactive Man becomes Professor Radium
• Mandarin becomes Dr. Tzin Tzin
• Klaw becomes Sonar
• M'Baku the Man-Ape becomes the Ultrahumanite
• Juggernaut and Rhino and Hammerhead become ... well, I don't think DC has any characters whose power is running into stuff with their heads
• Others you will name in your comments on this post
  

I'm not saying Marvel's or DC's villains are "lame" (whatever that empty bit of teenage argot is supposed to mean). I'm not saying DC's villains aren't serious threats. Just from the above list, for example, Amazo, Chemo, and Dr. Psycho are quite threatening. But they have their lighter side (as befits Villains Whose Names End In "O").

I guess what I'm saying is:

• Marvel seems hestitant to show a lighter side to its villains for fear it might make it harder for their readers to take them seriously.
• DC seems insistent on showing a lighter side to its villains as a necessity in getting their readers to take them seriously.

Words Fail Me

Let's hope words don't fail you! Can you compose a suitable haiku in praise of the Dr. Domino heroclix (and his Dominominions) on this Haikuesday?

Meet Our Custom 'Clix Candidates!

If you haven't weighed in yet on our current poll to determine the next custom heroclix I'll commission, please do. For those of you who are new here, below is a rundown on those candidates, their past history on this blog, and why they are on the list.

Orca the Whalewoman. Batman has fought some stupid villains in his day, but former G.I.Joe scribe Larry Hama was determined to surpass them all with the likes of Allie the Gator Girl and Orca the Whalewoman. Fan outrage was off the charts and Orca got Hama fired. The now legendary Orca the Whalewoman symbolizes the power of fan feedback and the internet as a medium for fandom. But she looks really cool and would be fun in an Aquaman-centric game.

Dr. Domino is a character so ludicrous that, although he appeared in only one Wonder Woman story, the Absorbascon once devoted an entire week to him. Crazy Bob Kanigher created him out of whole cloth to throw at Wonder Woman right after she regained her powers and went to work at the UN. Dr. Domino personifies the creativity of "Crazy K", is the patron saint of all object-headed villains, and represents the position that things don't have to make sense in order to be entertaining. He the DCU's closest equivalent to Dr. Doom.

The Red Bee. If that name doesn't make you smile or sigh, then you're not a DC fan, folks. The Red Bee actually is the creation of another comic book company, whose characters DC bought en masse at a fire sale. For the most part, he's no sillier than the better known Green Hornet, but once you've used a trained bee named "Michael" as your sidekick, it's hard to recover the public's respect. The Red Bee teaches us that, in comic books, it is better to be remembered for being ridiculous than not to be remembered at all.

The original Red Hood. Are there people reading about the new Red Hood (Jason Todd), who don't know that the original Red Hood was a backstory created in the 1950s to explain the Joker's deformity? The original Red Hood was simple but striking: a guy in a tuxedo wearing a featureless red helmet that protected him from changes in the environment. The original Red Hood story is painfully crappy; the Joker himself is an afterthought in his own origin. But the Red Hood stands for the idea that a crappy mythic element, given enough love over time, can evolve into something useful.

The Mist is the arch-enemy of the most dramatic of all heroes, the Golden Age Starman. The Mist is a testament to the power of a strong visual (the floating head) combined with over the top Republic Serial villainy. The Mist shot his own daughter dead while she was holding her baby and reminds us that pure evil never goes out of style.

Scipio: Sword of the Absorbascon is our parody of the controversial forthcoming series by Kurt Busiek, Aquaman: Sword of Absorbascon. Sorry, Kurt! It's all in good fun.... besides, the dog looks really cute in a cape. The Sword stands for the idea that "anyone can criticize; the challenge is doing so in an entertaining way".

Joe Coyne, the Penny Plunderer, is seen here at what is clearly not his finest moment. Three-time loser Coyne went round the deep end one day and decided to base all his crimes around pennies as a theme. For a couple pages, Joe actually gave Batman a pretty hard time, but was finally undone by his own obsession, yet another victim of comic book irony. But you know that giant penny in the Batcave? That's Joe's. Just goes to show you, it doesn't matter what your thing is in life, if you go all the way with it, you'll have an impact. Or go to the electric chair, like Joe did.

Breakdance-fighting Vibe (with pop-and-lock action!) is our totem character here at the Absorbascon. A Puerto Rican kid from the Detroit ghetto, Vibe could shatter concrete with his vibratory powers and hearts with his rakish charm. Despite a bad background and environment, he had an irrepressible joie de vivre, but it didn't save him from a tragic, lonely, meaningless death, the first Justice Leaguer to die on duty. Vibe stands for all potentially great characters doomed by the circumstances under which they are introduced.

My Year in Review

The Absorbascon's Year in Review,
done as a Heroclix Expansion Set.

REVs, LEs, and Uniques

1-3 Thought-Robots
4-6 Denominated Henchman (Southpaw LE)
7-9 Nameless Underlings (Artsy-Face LE)
10-12 Delicious Hostess Fruit Pies (Cherry Pie with Real Fruit Filling LE)
13-15 The Penny Plunderer
16-18 Vibe (Paco Ramone doing "the Robot" LE)
19-21 Dominominions (generic)
22-24 Dr. Domino
25-27 The Red Bee
28-30 Bees (generic) (Michael the Bee LE)
31-33 Phantom Lady
34-36 The Fadeaway Man
37-39 Congorilla
40-42 The original Black Condor
43-45 Hugo Strange
46-48 Gnor's Hotdog
49-51 Batman-Clobbering Robin
52-54 Batman Bitchslapping Robin
55-57 Killer Moth
58-60 Mr. Scarlet
61-63 The Mist
64-66 The Awesome Human Flying Fish
67-69 Phantom Zone Cats
70-72 Catman
73-75 Blaze
76-78 Simon Stagg
79-81 Blockade Boy (Jeremy Rizza LE)
82-84 The Original Starman (Ted Knight LE)
85 Orca the Whalewoman
86 Uncle Sam
87 The Phantom Stranger
88 Vartox
89 Toyboy
90 The Green Arab
91 Boy King
92 The Kryptonite Monkey
93 Bizarro-Titano
94 The Light ("The Unknown" LE)
95 Amethyst
96 The Composite Superman (Joe Meach LE)

217 Rex the Wonder Dog (Clik Brick LE)
218 The Infuriated Vurm
219 God
220 Night Girl
221 Topo

FEAT CARDS
001 Bacteria Cloudburst Formula
002 Word Association
003 Mid-Crisis Life-Makeover
004 The Living Death
005 The Gay Place
006 Breakdance Fighting

BATTLEFIELD CONDITIONS
001 Incest
002 Drama

BYSTANDER TOKENS
01 Marsha Mallow
02 Forgettable Moll
03 Major Mynah
04 ROGER the Ore-Crusher
05 The Rabid Racoon
06 The Innocent Dupe
07 J. Edgar Hoover
08 Dr. Curry (as long as Arthur's going to be a Bystander in his own comic, shouldn't be one on the Heroclix board, too?)

OBJECT TOKENS
001 Yellow Ceiling Tile
002 The Ecstacotron
003 Atomic Warhead Arrow
004 The Queer Machine
005 The Saltwater Telegraph
006 The Polished Aluminum Flying Pan

COLOSSAL SIZED EXCLUSIVE FIGURE
300 Multiwoman of the Challenger-Haters (with four dials: "Moody", "Rather Peeved", "Royally Ticked", and "Monthly Visitor")

CONVENTION EXCLUSIVE
301 The corpse of Multi-Man

Happy New Year, everyone!

Domino Logic

Dr. Domino, he's beyond logic (just like his creator, Bob Kanigher).

All he wants for Christmas is the Bacteria Cloudburst Formula, a chemical Weapon of Mass Destruction. Why? Extortion? World domino-ation? Pesky aphids in his lawn? We don't know.

Instead of getting the formula from the scientist who invented it, he kills him and sails half way around the world to try getting it from the guy who bought it, a smarmy diplomat. What, is the formula in the guy's wallet? Did a diplomat memorize the formula for a chemical weapon?

When, after a little tie-yanking, he can't get the info, he has a hissy fit and straps a nearby unconscious superhero to a NUCLEAR MISSILE. Yes, Dr. Domino desperately wants a Weapon of Mass Destruction because all he has now is a battleship full of nuclear missiles. How much potential for mass destruction does one guy need?

Where do supervillains get battleships full of nuclear missiles, anyway? Wal-Mart? Aurora Models? Admiral Fangschleister at the Pentagon?

And, well, I've been too polite to mention it before, but ... have you noticed there isn't actually any room in the domino for a human head? Defying logic is one thing; defying topology and biology is quite another. Is he, um, a robot? Yes... yes, that must be it. Nice belt, though.

His head isn't a domino, you know; a real domino has two sets of pips on it. Shouldn't he really have called himself "Dr. Half Domino"?

Maybe ... Half is his first name? Sounds Swedish.

Makes sense; the battleship's probably Ikea ("the S.S. Borgholm"). It's a big world, but someone's got to dominate it.

While he and Per Degaton were shopping at Ikea, couldn't he have found a more stylish World Domination Throne? Instead of buying some fun off-white egg-shaped thing named "Gubbo" that would highlight his fabulous outfit, he stopped off on the way home at Pier One's semi-weekly wicker sale. Did Kirstie Ally convince you an unfinished wicker cobra chair looks good on the deck of a battleship? That woman has much to answer for.

I mean, it's not even painted white. It's okay if you're just sitting there in your ruffled tuxedo, mummy gloves, purple opera cape and domino head (mask?) working on your tan, but face it, Half: people do not conquer the world from a wicker chair. Because, even if they do, they still get laughed at (and probably pelted with wooden games pieces by derisive eldery Cuban men).

The sad part is, all this unpleasantness probably could have been avoided if he'd just gotten that gameshow hosting job he wanted...

• "Oohhh! Morgan Tracy -- you've just guessed the price of this nuclear-missile-armed battleship from Ikea to within $100! That means you get both our showcase prizes!! Yes, that's right -- You've just doomed the Amazon ... AND New York!"

Still, at night, after the Dominominions are snuggled in the hammocks below deck, Half sits in his wicker throne, staring at the night sky and fuming inwardly:

"Damn you, Cluemaster. Just wait till I hit you with the Bacteria Cloudburst Formula! That ridiculous face-kerchief won't save you then!"

Dr. Domino's Plan B

Meanwhile, back on the battleship, Dr. Domino prepares "Plan B", which starts like this:


Note that control queen Dr. Domino is still yanking Tracy's symbolic tie; naughty man! He's given up on the "talk! talk! talk!" method of interrogation and is resorting to ...(music sting)...
other ways.

Fortunately for him, Wonder Woman fainted when she saw his giant black slab of a head; Diana used to be much more delicate than she is nowadays. So, the Dominominions (who apparently changed into matching domino shirts during the half-second between this panel and the previous one) drag her with difficulty (this is her pre-Jenny Craig era) across the battleship deck toward the ominous "Plan B" (doing, I'm certain, untold damage to her heels, so they had better not be around when she awakens!).

What is Plan B?

I tell you this for free, my friends: villains don't come any more fun than Dr. Domino and comic books don't come any more entertaining than this. Nothing spells "fun for all ages" like tying up an unconscious foreign princess in bathing suit to a nuclear missile between her thighs and launching her toward a nearby city of 8 million people on her first day of work at the United Nations. No wonder Gloria Steinem loved Wonder Woman.

I just love glancing back and forth between those two pictures, again and again, like a flicker ring:

"Prepare to launch Wonder Woman!" /
"Launch Wonder Woman!"

If I ran the show at DC, we'd put those two pics as holographic images on credit cards sponsored by Adams National ("The Women's Bank") and make millions as every lesbian in the country snatched them up to use for all their shopping trips to "The Pleasure Chest".

Forget "DC Comics"; I'd make "DC Entertainment" a multi-media miracle, baby!

Dr. Domino's Haikuesday

Before we get to Dr. Domino's "Plan B", we have to pause to enjoy

Haikuesday at the Absorbascon.

Fortunately, that enjoyment is commensurable with Dr. Domino Week, since the good doctor himself will provide us not one, but two haikus to inspire us. Dr. Domino is so impressive!


"Tracy! I've no time
to waste breaking you down! But --
there are other ways!"

"He confessed he sold
his bacteria cloudburst
formula to you."


You know, there aren't a lot of characters would could work "bacteria cloudburst formula" (a lovely nature image, by the way) into a smooth haiku in the middle of interrogating a tie-torture victim. Just another reason Dr. Domino is one of the greats, people.

Can you meet Dr. Domino's challenge by composing a haiku that celebrates both Haikuesday and Dr. Domino week at the same time?

Dr. Domino Week, Day 2: A Fistful of Tie

Necktie-based humilation techniques are vastly underrated as a means of torture, just as repetitive petulant nagging is undervalued as a method of interrogation.

But Dr. Domino knows this:

In our last installment, you'll recall, Dr. Domino confessed that he'd killed Prof. Zuni (inventor of a previously unmentioned Named Horror, the Bacteria Cloudburst Formula, which Dr. D calls by the charming pet name 'BCF'; part of the fun of being a villain is treating Weapons of Mass Destruction with an unsettling familiarity and watching people squirm) by encasing him in concrete and dumping the resulting mess in the Bosporus off Istanbul.

Now, I like to imagine that Prof. Zuni worked at, say, CalTech, Bell Labs, or STARLabs -Waukeegan (you know, some place where Weapons of Mass Destruction are made without government funding or involvement) and that after Doc D concretized Prof. Z, he had his skull-capped minions haul him across country to his waiting battleship, then sailed to the Bosporus off Istanbul to dump him there simply because it was so much cooler-sounding than hefting him into the nearest landfill.

Did I mention that Domino was Dr. Evil's roomate at Evil Medical School? He was.

Anyway, because Prof. Zuni had sold the formula to trouble-shooter diplomat Mr. Tracy (Can't you just hear the UN Accountants at audit time: "Ah, Mr. Tracy, this $1 billion line-item for 'Weapon of Mass Destruction (WMD), type 'Bacteria Cloudburst Formula' (BCF) ... can you verify that this is a work-related expense and not one for personal use?"), Dr. Domino had to sail his battleship all the way back to New York City to try to squeeze the info out of the Dashing Diplomat. Being a supervillain is very time-consuming.

At this point, you may be asking, "Why didn't Dr. Domino just get the formula from Prof. Zuni before he killed him?" Well! It's pretty obvious why you didn't get into Evil Medical School, now isn't it? If you're going to take the easy way out every time, then you're no better than a Nameless Underling.

So, ANYWAY, because we all know what a necktie symbolizes for a man, Dr. Domino's manhandling of Tracy's well-traveled cravate is a humilating exercise in emasculation, backed up by the two salty seamen Domino hired from the Tom of Finland Temp Agency to watch him do it. At least Dr. D is wearing gloves; I still feel dirty just looking at the scene. Thank Zeus Wonder Woman is unconscious, or the whole thing would be simply unbearable. Do not mess with Dr. Domino, Master of Psychological Warfare.

Patience, however, is not one of Dr. Domino's virtues and he is very busy with the time-consuming business of being an object-headed supervillain. How do we know this? He says so, in the next panel, after he gets tired of saying "Talk! -- Talk! -- Talk!":


So, after only one panel of necktie-yanking, Dr. Domino moves on to Plan B....

Villains! *sob* They're all pigs!

Dr. Domino Week

Welcome-- fools!-- to Dr. Domino Week.

This is the subject of our celebration, the eponymous Dr. Domino (discussed lovingly in a previous post). He is, of course, the product of comicdom's greatest he-babe, the Madman Bob Kanigher. This panel alone tells you how much Bob loved his job!

Sometimes I despair that COMIC BOOK DRAMA of the kind found in Golden Age Starman stories simply passed from this Earth sixty years ago. Panels like this restore my faith in comic books. It's nice to know that close-ups of over the top, fist-clenching villains will never really go out of style.

"Prof. Zuni". "Dumped in concrete". "Into the Bosporus off Istanbul". "Bacteria cloudburst formula". "Against which no defense on earth exists once released."

THAT, people, is what English was put on this planet for. Not for whining about being bored by comics, or how John Byrne can't draw any more, or that Rob Liefeld never could draw (now that you're old enough to realize it). If we spent less time kvetching and more time celebrating villains with gamepieces for heads, the world would understand the glory of comic books, and no one would ever need to go to a Steven Segal movie or watch "Walker, Texas Ranger" ever again. What a beautiful world that would be!

This should be on the wall in an art museum somewhere (preferably Washington DC). The ruffled shirt. The banana yellow sky. The mummy gloves. The off-kilter battleship tower. The hideously blank and pitiless slate of Dr. Domino's face, with its "K'un The Receptive" pattern, its quiet mare-like perseverance bringing good fortune, the six above and the six below.

At this point, I must nod to Dave of Dave's Longbox whose eye-opening "Kobra Week" inspired this celebration and Marionette of Dance of the Puppets who introduced me to Dr. Domino. Dave, Marionette; may all your days be double-sixes.

We shall study the aesthetic, the meaning, the power of Dr. Domino in the coming days, but for today, let us content ourselves with sharing his dream:Poorly dressed people of all kinds finding ultimate unity through universal simultaneous destruction of the miasma-gasping sort, standing so close they knock one another over as they topple, falling one by one, inevitably, inexorably, like...

like dominoes.


And the baby in the carriage? Nice touch, Kanigher, you madman!

Dr. Domino's Balls

I don't really care who this guy is. Or what his powers are.

I want him in the DCU.
We need him in the DCU

We DESERVE him in the DCU.

Oh, and these guys, too.


They can all work for Dr. Domino!

Postcard from the Edge

I just got a nice card from Dr. N-R-Gee (see photo, Richie Rich Cash #1, September 1974).

"Saw your post on my young cousin, Dr. Domino! Just so you know, Dom is alive and well; we vacationed together last month at Easter Island. He says he feels rested and ready to go back into action in the DCU. He says, 'If there's a new Starman, he shall rue the day he crossed the path of ... DR. DOMINO!' Oh, Dom, you lovable nut, you!

P.S. Send my regards to Black Mask and the rest of the False Face Gang!"

The Effect of Dr. Domino

For pity's sake, DC!

Where the heck is Dr. Domino?


You're missing the boat, here, DC. He's the perfect centerpiece to link together all the summer blockbuster miniseries. Keeping his creation of the Secret Society underwraps. Working with Brainiac and the Construct to create and control the OMACs and Brother Eye. Instigating intergalatic war so that, once the smoke clears, only Earth remains powerful, and with him as its ruler. Manipulating Eclipso and the Spectre to eliminate magic and its threat to his supremacy.

Ye-he-hesssss, of course! Tipping over events, distantly putting cause and effect to work, initiating long but inevitable links of endless societal elements, falling into place one by one, until the world topples beneath the gloved touch of .... DR. DOMINO!

Because of my joint Character Donations to Marvel with Devon of Seven Hells, some of you may think I feel that every crappy villain needs to be shipped off to Marvel.

Fools! You utter fools!

There are as many kinds of stupidity as there are of intelligence. Marvel has its own kind of stupid; DC has its own.

Dr. Domino pretty much personifies it, in fact. Look at him. LOOK. AT. HIM!

I'm not even going to belabor the level of insanity indicated by this outfit. This guy makes the Joker look like Mr. Spock. This guy is WHACKED OUT, people! No explanation, by the way, why he's named Dr. Domino. Was he teased mercilessly as a child by gameplaying eldery Cuban men who pelted him with pieces of dot-faced ebony wood, until he vowed to one day make the mechanism of his humilitation into the symbol of his inexorable control over all who might threaten him? You'd think. But we never got told. Sad, really.

Oh, I can picture you reading this now, sitting there on your overstuffed armchair, wearing a smoking jacket, while the butler breaks out the sherry, now that your youthful ward has been put to bed. It's all just SO amusing, isn't it? "Dr. Domino, tee-hee!" you're thinking. Well, if you were in a dark alley and ran into a guy looking like that, would you think, "Oh, huh, must be a new pizza parlor spokesperson!"

NO, you would not. Would you think, "Who in blue blazes is this seriously deranged brothermucker and can he run faster than I'm about to?!" Yes, you would.

You know who didn't take Dr. Domino seriously? Wonder Woman.

And look what happened to her.