The Phantom Stranger: Fun with color!

 

It's good to remember (or learn) that the early function of DC's most mysterious character was... demystifying phenomena.

"May God bless and keep Dan DiDio..."

In Fiddler on the Roof, the rabbi is challenged to give a proper blessing for the czar of Russia (who was no friend of their Jewish community), to which the rabbi archly replied, "Of course: 'May god bless and keep the czar... far away from us!"

Well, likewise, may the gods bless and keep the czar of DC Comics, Dan DiDio, who has presided for 10 years over a vibrant period of the DCU.  And I mean that in the same way real estate ads describe dangerous and distressed neighborhoods as 'vibrant'.

Vibrant, like Hub City. And we all know the source of this rot.
We've known it for years yet we don't do anything about it.

Some of that vibrancy is inherent to our times; although the intellectual properties owned by the comic book industry are now powerful currency, that doesn't always help the bottom line of comic book publishers. Some of it, however, lies squarely at DiDio's feet.  Not only do many DC readers feel this way, it appears DC's masters did, too. DiDio was posting on DC's behalf and meeting with creators Friday morning and "no longer with DC" by Friday evening, which doesn't sound like a conscious uncoupling to me.

Pictured: conscious uncoupling.

A lot of great things happened at DC during DiDio's tenure, such as the amazing work on Hanna-Barbera properties like the Flintstones, Snagglepuss, and Scooby-Doo.  Dan DiDio could have stopped lots of creators from doing interesting, innovative, thoughtful, and entertaining work, but he didn't.  The pattern of his decisions suggest that he was very receptive to change and experimentation.

Which was, perhaps, the problem.

Our flaws are often merely the flipside of our virtues and I suspect that was the case with DiDio.  In the same way that DiDio didn't stop good things from happening, he didn't stop bad things from happening, either.  By bad things, I mean things like:

• the Destruction AND THEN Befoulment of Wally West (I don't even LIKE Wally West and I know how very wrong that all was);
• nerfed Bart Allen's unique personality, aging him up to become the Flash, and then vanishing him 12 months later;
• Tom King and his Crimes Against Batman (does anyone REALLY need ME to expound on this, when the entire internet has it covered?);
• the unpardonable MESS of "52" and "Countdown", which really just should have been renumbered as continuations of 1985's DC Challenge;
• preventing Batwoman's wedding because "heroes aren't supposed to be happy";
• driving out steady professional types like Greg Rucka, Len Wein, Mark Waid, and Geoff Johns (writers interested in what they can do for a character) and handing flagship characters to idiosyncratic 'auteurs' like Brian Michael Bendis, Grant Morrison, Tom King, and Scott Snyder (writers interested in what they can do to a character).

People have been describing this as 'the end of an era', which it is. But that isn't the "DiDio Era"; it's the "DiDio versus Johns Era". Like some sort of real-life Anti-Monitor and Monitor, DiDio and Johns have been waging a barely disguised universe-threatening battle over whether the DCU would be positive or negative.

And you know which one you'd swipe right on.

You can trace it through nearly everything that's happened in the last 10 years. The New 52 versus Rebirth.  Wally West the symbol of hopefulness versus Wally West PTSD-crippled mass murderer.  Dark Multiverse versus the Metaverse. Eventually, Johns, realizing that his power over DC's characters in mass media gave him greater influence than DiDio's power over them in comics, left DC Comics for DC Entertainment.  And without Johns to counterbalance DiDio's negativity, DC Comics became sour enough that readers finally started to spit it out rather than swallow it.

Dan DiDio doesn't seem like a bad person who wants bad things to happen to damaged heroes.  But he does seem like a dumb person who thinks that is what makes comics interesting.  Like many (so, so many) creators at DC, he's infected with Marvel-Envy, thinking that DC's characters need to be overwhelmed, unhappy and put-upon, damaged, distressed, disturbed, and alienated to be, ya know, COOL and popular like Marvel heroes.  Totally blind to the fact that historically, DC's characters were cool in a different way; they were cool precisely because, despite personal adversities, they were NOT any of those things.

DiDio's not bad. He's not even bad at his job, I think. He simply doesn't get DC.  Here are a few examples.

He wanted to KILL Nightwing / Dick Grayson. Who thinks that way? Is there a more beloved character in DC comics?  Who even comes up with the IDEA of killing the Sensational Character Find of 1940, let alone pushes it so hard that Geoff Johns simply flat-out REFUSED to do it?   

Do NOT mess with Dick Grayson,
'cuz he'll make it look like an accident.

He wanted the Spectre to kill Shazam because Shazam "doesn't fit in with the rest of the DCU".  Is Shazam a unique and unusual property? Yes. But if you can't even imagine that he can be made to work in the DCU somehow then your view of the DCU is too narrow for you to be in charge of it. 

Well, Dan, Billy's still working within DC.
And you're not.

He gave the Phantom Stranger an origin. As Judas the Discipline. I can think of nothing that so clearly shows how deeply someone doesn't understand the DCU as that.  He managed to besmirch the Phantom Stranger, Western Civilization most awesome character, as a damaged, tortured, fuck-up tied to a particular religious system.  That's a tragic level of stupidity, right there.   

Dan DiDio not pictured.

At the 2019 San Diego Comic-Con, DiDio showed how little he gets readers:

“We do these Facsimile Editions where we reprint older issues of comics including all the old ads and stuff…and in some cases these are selling more than the new comics with these characters. People are more interested in buying the stories from 30 or 40 years ago than the contemporary stories, and that’s a failure on us. We should be focused on moving things forward, always pushing the boundaries and finding new stories to tell. That’s how we’ll survive and grow this industry.”

DiDio assumes that people fall back to reading older stories because the new ones aren't "moving things forward, pushing boundaries, and finding new stories to tell."  What he really means is that people are reading old comics because we aren't forcing them to forget about continuity and the history of who the characters are and what they are like.  The perceived antidote is to wrest by force the idea of what those characters are from the dead claws of nostalgia.

You're too late, Dan; it's been done.

But the way to get people to focus on the tree's seasonal blossoms isn't by tearing up the roots.  People don't read comics starring characters who've been around for 80 years because they are aching to move things forward and push boundaries.  Nor do they read them simply out of nostalgia.  They want to read stories that depict familiar characters in familiar ways but in a new story or a new situation.  The value of character familiarity and consistency is that, for both the creator and the reader, the focus can be on the story and its plot.

Which often require a LOT of focus.

It seems like the modern assumption for why a comic book isn't more popular is that something is wrong with the character, so the character must be changed.  Does it ever occur to anyone that maybe your stories just suck?

Truth hurts.

Two of my favorite series this year have been Sholly Fisch's Scooby-Doo Team-Ups and Matt Fraction's Jimmy Olsen.  That's certainly not because Scooby-Doo or Jimmy Olsen are favorite characters of mine.  It's because those (really good) writers took those characters at their ridiculous face value and wrote stories that, rather than try to change the characters, actually take full advantage of who and what those characters are.  I wish more modern writers would give that a try and stop wasting everyone's time trying to put Their Stamp on the characters.

Sassy Sombrero Superman never really got the chance he deserved, though.

If you want to write comics where you can do anything you want with the characters, then create those characters.  But iconic, flagship characters are worth more than any individual creator; Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman are known much more broadly than anyone who writes or draws them. They always have been and always will be.  So preserving and cultivating the character should be the priority, rather than indulging the writer. Heck, you could probably pick one and switch it to on-spec writing. "Hey, everyone; submit us a story for Heroperson that colors between the lines of their existing world."  You would get 12 interesting stories a year, from different perspectives, memorably unique, none of which had to be part of an 'arc' or 'change the character forever', and it would probably show more continuity that DC can manage with its golden stable of auteurs.   The reason that doesn't happen is that DC is convinced the creator fame is what lures readers to buy comics. Well, I guarantee you anyone reading Superman or Legion now is doing so despite Bendis not because of him.

Although he was great in Human Centipede 2.

Not understanding such principles is at the core of DiDio's failure. DiDio's leadership at DC often went awry because it didn't combat these negative and chaotic tendencies.  I am no fan of Marvel's Stan Lee, god knows, but I like that Lee wasn't hampered by being a fan of comics; he simply published them.  He was enough of a realist to know that, in his own words, "comics survive not on change but on the illusion of change", something that DiDio wasn't woke enough to understand.

If I like Stan Lee more than I like thee, then,
it's fair to say I don't like thee very much.

I am told that Dan DiDio loved comics; but loving something doesn't mean you know how to do it well. Now that he's no longer in charge, a new era can begin.

My question is: will this new era (with or without the new '5G' timeline) be a repudiation or a repetition of DiDio's mistakes...?

BREAKING NEWS: SPIDER-MAN MUSICAL REPLACED BY...

The PHANTOM STRANGER: the MUSICAL

SOUNDTRACK:

01 - The Impromptu Warning

02 - Don't Do It Now

03 - Crude Art

04 - Tala

05 - Stop Those Miscreants!

06 - Random Also-Rans

07 - House Ad

08 - Hal Dances On Friday Night

09 - Random Also-Rans (Reprise)

10 - Cooler

11 - Who was that man?

The Justice League of Arcana

We superhero fans love our supergroups. Our publishers know this and so they sometimes cobble together teams to satisfy our appetite that wind up being pretty unsatisfying. You ever go to one of those events where you think there's going to be a buffet, and what's actually offered is a variety of h'ordeurvres? That's how I feel reading the likes of Infinity Inc and Outsiders.





But that's not my point. I've always like the idea of a sort of "Mystic League of America", a supergroup of mystics formed along the lines of the JLA/JSA. I thought DC had this concept locked when they created the Sentinels of Magic, but they never ran with it. Even worse, they went instead with the Outsiders of Magic, the Shadowpact; on the whole, readers didn't go with them.





Why didn't/doesn't this idea fly? Is it because, unlike the spandex crowd, magician's powers are too vague and indistinguishable from one another? Too little interest in magic characters?






I picture a group very much like the Sentinels of Magic, but narrowed down a bit. More like the classic JLA rather than a JLU of magic (because perhaps early over-expansion of the Sentinels watered down the concept and hindered its popularity; a club to which everyone belongs doesn't have a lot of perceived value!). I'd even make sure there was a bit a parallelism going on, like so.


























Dr. Fate, in for Superman
Phantom Stranger, in for Batman
Zatanna, in for Wonder Woman
Tempest, in for Aquaman
Blue Devil, in for Green Lantern
Deadman, in for Flash
Dr. Occult, in for Martian Manhunter

Why We Love the Phantom Stranger Some More 4

One of the best reasons to love the Phantom Stranger? The Phantom Stranger's Hat.

I bet you're thinking, "Yeah, it's so cool how his hat always stays on his head, except for that one time in got knocked off in Hell in that big Swamp Thing story!"

But you're wrong.

The Phantom Stranger's hat, you see, is not a mere object he wears at will. It's some kind of semi-sentient, quasi-independent entity, that simply chooses to stay with him most of the time. Kind of like my dog.

Sometimes, however, it simply goes walkabout.

In this panel, for example, the Phantom Stranger puts his hat on, which has been noticeably absent for most of the action in the story.

"Even I..."
Modest, isn't he?

Where was it? How did he get it back? Even I do not understand all the workings of the Phantom Stranger's hat. But you know all those times the Phantom Stranger mysteriously disappears? It's not him; it's the hat, and it simply takes PS along for the ride. Kind of like walking my dog.

Here's another one from the Archives of the Phantom Stranger's Naked Head:

Phantom Stranger, corporate consultant.

This is one of those stories where the hat is absent. UNTIL... the Epilogue.

All the Phantom Stranger does in this epilogue is put his hat on. Yes, really.

What the heck is PS's hat doing lying in a previously unseen alley? Rumor has it, the hat sometimes goes off tomcatting with its alley-buds.. You know....Sargon's turban, the Helm of Fate, Eclipo's Phyrgian cap. Sometimes they get in fights and beat up Felix Faust's desert-hat-thingie or the Matter Master's dunce-cap. Other times, they meet up with Zatanna's Red Caterpillar Hat, and... well, you know.

And what's the meaning of juxtaposing the Phantom Stranger putting on his hat with some guy shooting a security guard? What does "meaning' mean in a Phantom Stranger story...?!

Sometimes, the hat gets feisty and decides to chase cars...

"Bad hat! Come back here this instant!"

or just start howling at people it doesn't like.

Oh, yeah. My dog makes THAT noise, alright.

The Phantom Stranger's hat deserves its own Who's Who page, a Heroclix pog, and an indy band named after it.

Why We Love the Phantom Stranger Some More 4

As mentioned last week, the Phantom Stranger has some pretty bizarre sexual tastes.

But, really, you have no idea how strange.

Why We Love the Phantom Stranger Some More 3

Because, in a Phantom Stranger story, anything can happen.

Really. Anything.

Like, say, for example...

THOR HITTING HAL JORDAN IN THE HEAD
WITH HIS SLEDGEHAMMER.

Now Hal'th thore, too!

Why We Love the Phantom Stranger Some More 2

Because you think you know the Phantom Stranger....



but really, you don't.

Why We Love the Phantom Stranger Some More

Well, the Showcase Presents: The Phantom Stranger Volume 2 came out, and you know what that means: more lessons on Why We Love the Phantom Stranger.

Really, there are few characters odder than old PS. He should be called the Phantom StrangEST. No real name, no origin (and, no, the "unfallen angel" story does not count), no consistent powers, no clear guidelines as to when he will or will not appear and/or act. In other characters, these would be flaws; in the Phantom Stranger, they are strengths. Along with the outfit. And "Rod Serling on 'shrooms" way of speaking.

Speaking of shrooms, one of the reasons we love the Phantom Stranger is that, well... you never quite know what he's going to do. Maybe he's about to disappear or let loose with the cosmic zippity-zap; maybe he's just going to bitch-slap somebody across the room or start making out with some endangered hippy-chippy. Or maybe he's going to do....

THIS

What a joker! Last Halloween he came over and pulled this trick on some kids who rang my doorbell for treats. Nearly wet myself laughing. Then he ruined it all with some meandering series of bromides about "life not being what it seems" and "fraught with dangers for the unwary" and how that's "a lesson that may serve such youngsters well for they need to beware of ... strangers." Sigh. Of course.

See, just when you think you know him, he turns out to be... a stranger. Still, you know he totally had this poster in his college dorm room:

Can't you just see him, in the turtleneck and medallion, staring at the poster and practicing the Face-Melting Trick? All the while telling his roommate he's preparing "not to fear the face of Evil, but to teach it to fear the Face of Him", when really he's just doing it to get hippy chicks...

JLA set; My guesses

Now that we've got that pesky Avengers set out of the way, we can all concentrate fully on Wizkids forthcoming "Justice League" expansion set for DC Heroclix!

Based on what I know, what follows are my guesses as to what will be in the set. Naturally, I'm sure I'll be spectacularly wrong (I mean, Bronze Tiger would simply never occur to me), but that doesn't stop me from having fun guessing.

1. Bronze Tiger
2. Robin (in his new costume)
3. Connor Hawke (Green Arrow II)
4. Aquafake, Bored of Atlantis
5. Deadman
6. Classic Flash (Barry Allen)
7. Guy Gardner
8. Batman ("Aparo" version)
9. Zatanna (Headmistress of Hotath costume)
10. Lobo
11. Superman
    
12. Tharok (for the Fatal Five)
13. Captain Boomerang (for the Suicide Squad)
14. Brainiac 5 (for the Legion)
15. Dream Girl (for the Legion)
16. Power Ring (for the Crime Syndicate)
17. Batwoman (for the Batman Family)
18. the Penguin (for the Batman Enemies)
19. Brainiac, Silver Age (for the Superman Enemies)
20. Black Manta (Injustice League)
    
21. Crimson Fox
22. Prof. Ivo
23. Amazo
24. T.O.Morro
25. Tomorrow Woman
    
26. Dr. Destiny
27. Kanjar Ro
    
28. Classic Aquaman
29. Classic Green Arrow
30. Classic Green Lantern Hal Jordan
31. Jay Garrick
32. Mento or Niles Caulder
33. Captain Marvel Jr
34. Black Condor
35. Uncle Sam
    
36. Vibe
37. Gypsy
38. Per Degaton
39. Toyman
40. Granny Goodness
41. Classic Trickster
42. Pied Piper
43. Star Sapphire
44. Dr. Polaris
45. Dr. Light 2
    
46. Lightray
47. Bloodwynd
    
48. Firehawk
49. Wonder Woman 1,000,000
50. Golden Eagle
51. Rag Doll
52. Silver Banshee
53. Batman & Robin
54. Amazing Man
55. Gang of thugs
56. Nightwing
57. Grace Choi
58. Huntress
    
59. ?????
60. ???????!
    

Special figures confirmed Tournament LE: Starro Starro Controlled Flash
Starro Controlled Green Arrow
Starro Controlled Green Lantern
Starro Controlled Aquaman

Confirmed Mail-away Figure: The Phantom Stranger (as previously discussed)

1. Bronze Tiger
2. Robin (in his new costume)
3. Connor Hawke (Green Arrow II)
4. Aquafake, Bored of Atlantis
5. Deadman
6. Classic Flash (Barry Allen)
7. Guy Gardner
8. Batman ("Aparo" version)
9. Zatanna (Headmistress of Hotath costume)
10. Lobo
11. Superman

1-11. These aren't guesses at all. We know for a fact that these characters will be in the set, because we have either seen the sculpts in advertisements, seen the characters on the box art, or been specifically told by Wizkids they are in the set. You'll notice there's lots of JLA love in these eleven!

I've seen the Zatanna sculpt, by the way, and, unfortunately, its ass is not on fire. Which is a pity, because it would have been a good use of translucent plastic.

12. Tharok (for the Fatal Five)
13. Captain Boomerang (for the Suicide Squad)
14. Brainiac 5 (for the Legion)
15. Dream Girl (for the Legion)
16. Power Ring (for the Crime Syndicate)

12-16. These characters are near shoe-ins, because they fill in or complete existing theme teams. Tharok is the last of the Fatal Five, and with the new Legion starter out, is a lock. Classic Captain Boomerang is a little shakier, but he's the essential piece missing from the Suicide Squad and is needed for a Classic Central City Rogues team (which is important, since there's finally a Barry Allen Flash in this set).

The Legion will surely gets its usual two members per set. Dream Girl is a good bet because (1) she looks cool (2) she's a female figure (3) she'd bring Probability Control to Legion teams. Besidesm she pairs perfectly with Brainiac 5, who, like her, would be hard to hit (due to his force shield belt) and has 'distance powers' (e.g., Outwit and Perplex). A B5 figure came out in a previous set, but he's not quite up to snuff with the new Legionnaires. His Q rating is darned high; you can have a Legion without Quislet or Quantum Kid, but not without Brainiac 5; expect a remake. And, for those of you about to type

"But surely Starboy or the other Legionnaires from the Lightning Saga will be in the set instead!",

save it; the lead time on making Heroclix sets is too long to have yet been influenced by the Lightning Saga.

Power Ring, like Tharok, is the last member of his evil team (the Crime Syndicate) so he's a shoe-in, too.

17. Batwoman (for the Batman Family)
18. the Penguin (for the Batman Enemies)
19. Brainiac, Silver Age (for the Superman Enemies)
20. Black Manta (Injustice League)

17-20. These characters are additions to an existing Team Ability (most of the main Team Abilities get at least one new character per set, and with 60 characters now in each set rather than 48, it's more likely than ever to be a goal). The guesses here are a lot dicier than than 1-16.

Batwoman's got several things in her favorite: (1) Batman Team Ability, which is always popular. For pity's sake, they made Spoiler. (2) Wizkids always needs female figures to help balance the set. (3) She was riding quite high about the time this set would have been planned.

We might a more obscure Batvillian like Killer Moth or Firefly, but my money's still on the Penguin. The Penguin's been made before, but he was notoriously unusable even at the time he was released. Factors in his favor; very high Q rating; previous sculpt was wrong (white suit); previous dial was unusable; Wizkids new dial designers have a much better handle on how to represent characters like the Penguin; and the Penguin (who has actually fought the JLA and the SuperFriends) makes much more sense in a JLA set then Killer Moth or Firefly. [Yes, Dale; I know that Killer Moth appeared in JLA #35....]

Similar logic applies to Brainiac. The Superman Enemies always need help. Besides, we've had Brainiac13 and the Terminator-Brainiac foisted on us in two previous sets; we deserve the Silver Age Brainiac everyone will recognize.

Black Manta? Well, yes, there are other Aquafoes to make, but here the "Penguin Logic" applies again. All the factors in Penguin's favor (except sculpt; the original Manta sculpt is fine) augur well for Manta as well. Besides, he could add to the figure with the Injustice League ability (look for an alternate Team Ability for IL figures, too; it's current definition is so unwieldy I don't think I've ever seen it used in play).

21. Crimson Fox
22. Prof. Ivo
23. Amazo
24. T.O. Morrow
25. Tomorrow Woman
26. Dr. Destiny
27. Kanjar Ro

21- 27. Well, it is a JLA themed set, after all! Wizkids has said, "all eras and versions of the Justice League" will be represented and nothing says "JLE" like ze Crimson Fox. I'm anxious to see how perfume is represented on her dial.

Prof. Ivo might not be that big on offense, but, since he's an invulnerable mad scientist, he could be a really annoying support piece. Imagine him with Imperviousness and Outwit down the dial!

Wizkids would be fools to pass on the opportunity to remake Ivo's creation, Amazo, for the JLA set, now that they have "special powers" at their disposal. Count on him, with some crazy power for copying the powers of other figures within his sight and range.

The original T.O. Morrow figure is still a lot of bang for the buck, but a new version with Probability Control is in order. And while I personally think "Tomorrow Woman" is embarrassingly ludicrous, she was popular in the way that All Things Morrison seem to be. Besides, she would bring telekinesis and pulse wave to the JLA table.

Dr. Destiny looks cool and is a quintessential JLA villain. And wicked, if he's got some special version of Mind Control that lets him control powerful figures without taking damage. Likewise Kanjar Ro. Okay, fine, Kanjar Ro doesn't look cool. In fact, he looks like a chinless stoolie you'd slap around at bar on Rimbor. But give him a big Gamma Gong with triple incapacitate and he's a serious problem.

28. Classic Aquaman
29. Classic Green Arrow
30. Classic Green Lantern Hal Jordan

28 - 30. This is reverse logic. First, you've got to know that Wizkids is making Starro-ed controlled versions of four characters as giveaways at its "Win a Giant Starro clix" contests. Those are Silver Age versions of Aquaman, Green Arrow, Green Lantern, and the Flash, all with little Starro-fish on their faces. I've seen these, and they are darned pretty. By simply making versions without the Starro-fish on the faces, they get four other figures easily. We know that there will be a Silver Age Flash in the set already, so that makes it even more likely that we'll get Silver Age Green Arrow, Green Lantern, and Aquaman, too.

31. Jay Garrick
32. Mento
33. Captain Marvel Jr
34. Black Condor
35. Uncle Sam

31 - 35. This is more team filling. Jay Garrick was in the first set, but will get a remake for several reasons. (1) He still costs around $30 on Ebay, so a lot of people don't have him. (2) We need a version with the JSA Team Ability. (3) We need a version with some defensive powers.

The Doom Patrol needs a new member, probably Mento, because while he's less important than the Chief, he's easier to represent and is more visual. The Marvel Family is missing only Junior, and the groovy new Black Condor will add to the Freedom Fighters (plus, he's a babe). So would Uncle Sam, whom I think they may make as a giant figure, to take advantage of the new booster boxes that allow them to easily mix figures of different sizes.

36. Vibe
37. Gypsy

36 & 37. Like it or not (okay ... not; no one likes it), the Justice League Detroit is one of the versions of the League. The JLD had three members unique to that version: Gypsy, Steel, and the irrepressible Vibe. Gypsy still has legs (though perhaps not shoes) having been seen repeatedly since the JLD days, even as an operative in Birds of Prey; besides, she's got the Distaff Factor in her favor. Steel? No, I think he'll wait until "Citizen Steel" makes his appearance; there's already a Heroclix figure named Steel, thank you very much. As for Vibe, well, I think we'll see him because he's more closely associated with JLD than any other character. Plus, with some Quake and some BREAKDANCING AGILITY (Deflection or Combat Reflexes), he'd be a nice dial to have on the team. Any team, really. Or, you could just put his sculpt on your nightstand and stare at it every night as you nod off to sleep.

38. Per Degaton
39. Toyman
40. Granny Goodness
41. Classic Trickster
42. Pied Piper
43. Star Sapphire
44. Dr. Polaris

38 - 44. I hate having to pit hero teams against one another just because there aren't enough decent villains! We need those guys. Per Degaton isn't a JLA villain per se, but he's a high profile JSA villain and that's close enough. Besides a dial full of Probability Control would make him a great background figure on any villain team.

Toyman is the missing member of the Legion of Doom. Nuff said.

The Fourth World is (apparently) a necessary evil, so it's time for ridiculous Granny Goodness (or one of the Female Furies such as Lashina). What on earth would be on her dial I cannot imagine, unless they give her a Special Power like BUTT-UGLINESS: Granny Goodness may use a power action to automatically incapacitate any opposing figure the first time she comes within its line of sight.

The Trickster and the Pied Piper are safe bets for Flash Rogues because neither has been made yet (and, no, the "Kid Trickster" doesn't count, particularly since a stiff wind will take him out of the game). The Trickster could be the first flying DC villain to start with Perplex on his dial, and that could be very helpful to the Rogues (who need all the help they can get). And a mind-controlling Pied Piper tp use against any speedster under 100 points (which includes all of the Flash Family) would be useful.

We've got hordes of Green Lanterns and no villains for them to fight; bring on Star Sapphire, in as skimpy and as internet-enraging a costume as possible. Likewise for Dr. Polaris (although, not even I want to see Dr. Polaris in a skimpy costume. Well, not as a Heroclix figure, anyway...).

45. Dr. Light 2
46. Lightray
47. Bloodwynd
48. Firehawk
49. Wonder Woman 1,000,000
50. Golden Eagle

45 - 50. More JLA theme. Dr. Light 2 is definitely in the aforementioned category of necessary evils and she represents the beloved JLI era. Lightray helps fill out the New Gods roster, and was (at some point I'm glad to have missed) a JLA member. Bloodwynd pretty much existed only as a JLA member. Plus he's one of their few mystics and even fewer black members. Besides... he looks fantastic. Who cares what his dial says?

Firehawk? Why, yes, she was in the JLA; the one formed during 52! Besides, she's one of the few even remotely recognizable members of the Firestorm cast and has the Distaff Factor. We know there's going to be a member of the DC 1,000,000 version of the League (whatever it was called... Justice Legion A?). Wonder Woman One Million is the best candidate, other than Starman, from that group. But I'll think she'll get it because she easily dialable, looks cools, bolsters the Wonder Woman box of Heroclix, and has the Distaff Factor.

Golden Eagle was too a member of JLA (okay... mostly honorary). Besides, the Hawkman Family could use someone other than the Man and the Girl. And he plays nicely into the following Teen Titans set. Alright, fine! I just like Golden Eagle.

51. Rag Doll
52. Silver Banshee
53. Batman & Robin
54. Amazing Man
55. Gang of thugs
56. Nightwing
57. Grace Choi
58. Huntress

51 - 58. There's a lot going on here in this little grab-bag. Rag Doll works as a JSA villain, an Injustice League piece, and continues the expansion of the popular Secret Six. Silver Banshee? Well, the Superman Enemies really need a boost and a female foe wouldn't hurt either. Besides, has there every been a more fabulously designed "Nightmare of a Drag Queen" look than Silver Banshee? She should appear regularly in heavy metal videos and episodes of Queer Eye.

Batman & Robin. Yeah. Together. On one dial. The New Dial Mechanism of the Year is the "duo dial", as used for Cap & Bucky in the Avengers set. It's not exactly what I would use it for, but after the Avengers set, it seems pretty clear that if you ain't got an ampersand between your names, it ain't for you. So, unless they're planning on surprising us with Mr. Scarlet & Pinky or Dan the Dynamite & TNT, it'll be Batman & Robin.

Amazing Man. No, I'm not sure how I feel about Amazing Retcon Man, either. But he was a Justice League member, works with JSA teams, and adds to the list of black characters in clix. Not quite sure what they'd do with his dial, but I guess if they did the Absorbing Man they can do Amazing Man. As long as there's one click of "Amazingly Brittle Man"; that still amuses me.

Gang of Thugs. No, I don't really think we'll get this, but we should anyway, and they should have the new Duo Dial mechanism. That would make the perfect foils for Batman&Robin, plus the Batvillains (particularly the Mastermind ones) desperately need them. Besides, with them, we get to say "GET THEM, YOU FOOLS!" while playing. Really, what's the point of playing villains if you don't get to say, "GET THEM, YOU FOOLS!"?

Nightwing, of course, would add to the Outsiders team, the Batman Family, and still count as JLA (thanks to the horror that was "Obsidian Age"). Besides, a lot of people would like him to be remade. I've never had any problems with him as is, but he is kind of front-loaded and a new dial would do him better justice. Huntress likewise. As for Grace Choi, well, there's always got to be one character I can't believe they wasted plastic on, and that would be she.

As for the last two figures, well...

who do you think they will or should be?

SWORD OF THE ATOM Week!

If there is a more severe on-line critic of the Sword of Atlantis folly than I, I have not encountered him or her.

But, as I have probably mentioned before, perhaps the saddest thing about this folly is that it's not unprecedented. A similar (but better) attempt to shift a superhero into the sword and sorcery genre was made in 1983: the Sword of the Atom.

Of course, Sword of the Atom wasn't nearly as a bad as Sword of Atlantis, for several reasons. One, things happened in it. Two, it had some nice characterization going on. Three, the hero is actually quite impressive in it. Four, the Atom was in it, not a faux Atom replacing him.

I've heard differing accounts of whether Gil Kane and Jan Strnad pitched the story to DC or whether DC solicited Kane to draw the Atom and one of his conditions was the shift in genre.

In either case, Kane was well-prepared. Gil Kane had done an award-winning "sword epic": Blackmark, now credited as the first graphic novel (although the term had not yet been coined when the book was published in 1971).

Gil Kane was a versatile visual storyteller, a conscientious professional,
a respected spokesman for the industry...

and a tall, dark, sleepy-eyed, Eastern European man-babe!

So the Sword of the Atom mini-series has all sorts of strange and terrifying things: angry reptiles, scantily clad alien princesses, domesticated frogs, burly half-naked warrior men, and hordes of carnivorous mice.

But none so strange and terrifying as...

JEAN LORING

Yes, Jean Loring had always been kind of crazy. After all, that's one of the messages of the Silver Age: "women who put their careers ahead of marriage or man-hunting must be crazy." But it wasn't really until the Bronze Age that Jean Loring became crazy-mean.

Despite the fact that the story takes place primarily in the Amazon jungle, Jean gets more face-time in Sword of the Atom than she had seen in years. Speaking of Jean...


Proof, if proof were needed, that Jean Loring has always been evil or insane, or both:

It's horrible enough that she forced her bridesmaids to wear those... those... outfits. But when you realize that's Supergirl, Hawkwoman, Wonder Woman, and Black Canary, as almost as if you're watching Hostel 3: the Makeover. Even at this poor resolution, their faces tell their stories:

Supergirl's thinking, "Cool, now I can wear this outfit again to whatever my job is next issue!" As we know, Supergirl will wear anything.

Hawkwoman's planning on using the hat for target practice.

Wonder Woman's used to looking frumpy as Diana Prince, but she looks so sad: "When will I get to march down the aisle. March, march, march!"

Sex-kitten Black Canary is utterly mortified to be dressed as a Stepford Wife: "I will never ever get married to a creepy macho putz like my mother did."

Also of note: Hal Jordan is there but couldn't be bothered to wear a tie, opting instead for a cheesy love necklace, hoping to score with one of the friends of the bride. Swinger Aquaman seems to have brought his wife Mera and his boyfriend. Oh, and when the Phantom Stranger is at your wedding it means one of two things: either you are really really cool or your marriage is not going to turn out well.