Tuesday, September 06, 2005

The Devils, You Say!

Naturally, like all decent people, I'm a member of the League of Challenger-Haters. In fact, I'm the person who took Multi-Woman's place after she left for the 30th Century to become a Disciple of Night Girl.

Devon of Seven Hells invited me to join; he took the place of Drabny, because they both are basically ordinary humans with Chinese comic book collections. But I digress.

Anyway, as the new reigning Queen of the Challenger-Haters (I look MUCH better in the outfit than she did!), I have to state, loudly, publically, and for the record ...

I love the Sea Devils.

Now, you probably think that makes no sense, since they are virtually identical small groups of powerless plucky adventurers in gaudy matching costumes and based on Painfully Obvious Archtypes (The Leader! The Tough Guy! The Smart Guy! The Hothead/Kid! The, um, Girl!).

But then again, you probably drink RC Cola.

The Challengers are goobers (even they know it, as the panel demonstrates). Dressed like Chinese acrobats, these societal rejects stumble about in the dark, where, since they are dealing with the "Unknown", no one will notice how stupid they are. I guarantee you, if they were faced with the REAL Unknown, they'd wet themselves before they could wriggle out of those ridiculous banana-hued flight-suits. Starman would knock these guys over on the way to fight the Green Arab and not even notice. Their vehicle? The "Galloping Gizmo"; jeez, just call it the "Goobermobile", why don't you? They're the Fantastic Four minus the Fantastic; no wonder an entire League of people hate them. Kirby creations; 'nuff said.

The Sea Devils, ah! Now there is a groovy group, not like the Chals at all. They are masters of the mysterious underwater world. Have you ever swum? A lot? In the ocean? The Sea Devils must be RIPPED, baby! And highly intelligent, as marine biology is an extremely complex field. I mean, they are so smart they built a giant underwater robot that looks like Neptune ... and they live in its head. Not even Batman is that smart. Unlike the Chals, who grope about for a stick to whack whatever monster happens along in "the unknown", the Sea Devils mean business, bud. Two words for ya: harpoon gun. The Sea Devils are smart, ripped, and oxygenated for action, just like their babelicious creator Robert Kanigher (*swoon*!!!!).

Observe. Ace, the "leader" of the Challengers, is merely a slackjawed pawn in the sexual mindgames of superior beings like Judy Walton and Dane Dorrance, the erotic tension between whom is so powerful it's already fried that poor Rear Admiral's nice white uniform to a brown toasty crisp. Stoically grimacing through the searing pain, the Admiral's preparing to get the Chals "up to speed"; good luck with that, sir!

Meanwhile, the Sea Devils are analyzing new species of eukaryotes, harnessing submarine geothermal energy sources, and negotiating their movie contracts, all of which you'll be able to read about on their blog that evening. In that time, if they're lucky, the Chals will have remembered how to peel off those banana-suits (if Judy doesn't take a break to show them how herself!).

I'm having custom Heroclix made of the Sea Devils, to swim proudly by the new "Icons" Aquaman's side. The Chals? Pogs; movable terrain, easily removed from play once they've got harpoons sticking out of their chests.

You can cheer on the "Challengers", if you want; I'm sticking with the champions!


Anonymous said...

I'm the guy who'll be making these Sea Devils Clix for Scipio, and let me tell you it will be a labor of love! I too am a big Sea Devils fan; have been since the age of seven, when I read one of their excellent stories reprinted in an Action Comics 100-Page Super Spectacular! I have since collected almost all of their Silver-Age issues; I'm only missing Showcase #29 and Sea Devils #2! Let's start a petition to get a Sea Devils Archive!!

David Campbell said...

Man, when you're right, you're right.

The Challengers blow. Sea Devils clearly rule.

Anonymous said...

So devisive... can't we love both?

Anonymous said...

Look at some Sea Devils covers. LOOK at them (Scip, post some up--now). The Challs never had a chance.

Russ Heath is why people remember the Sea Devils. Both teams fought giant fucked-up monsters, but the Sea Devils' monsters were scarier because (1) everything looks spookier underwater with that gray-tone stuff on it and (2) Russ Frickin' Heath.

Anonymous said...

What do you have against RC Cola?

Anonymous said...

You realize, of course, this means war.

Sarah Hargate, Webmaster
Challengers of the Unknown

Tony said...

I don't know about the Chals, but RC Cola is great stuff.