Sunday, November 13, 2005

Scipio's Dream

I have a new dream: fielding an all-gay Heroclix team!

This week, I'll devote my entire fortune and countless hours in the gym and the lab to realizing this dream. Let's start with the obvious:

The Red Bee!

Red Bee custom clix courtesy of Totaltoyz Dale

He needs the Poison and Quake powers, of course. I'd put him on my team just so's I could see Deathstroke running from a swarm of unhappy honeybees, vainly swatting the air with his ridiculous pokey stick and pigsticker, while experiencing thousands of stabbing pains with 90 percent of his brain capacity. Oh, the Red Bee could put the hurting on that ... that one-eyed monster!

Like me, Blockade Boy is a fan of the Red Bee and even volunteered him a fashion makeover, because even the most superstitious and cowardly criminals are seldom cowed by the sight of a man in diaphanous pink pirate sleeves (it's actually beekeepers mesh, you know; I mean, it... it has to be). BB and I both agree, if either of us ever gets a pet bee, it will be named "Michael".

I don't understand why people make fun of the Red Bee. Nothing spells "beatstick" like a buzzing beltful of angry bees. Trust me, if you met someone with a honey-dripping apiary cinch you wouldn't say, "what a poofter!" you'd say, "EEEEKKKK!!!!"

Speaking of "Eeeek!", Wizkids simply MUST make a Blue Devil clix for my team....


Jhunt said...

When I think Red Bee, I think of two comics... an issue of All-Star Squadron where Red Bee takes on Baron Blitzkreig (and is beat to death, I believe), and the issue of Morrison's Animal Man where Buddy runs into an insane Red Bee in limbo.

And yes, Morrison made even the Red Bee interesting. He's that good.

David J Oakes said...

'Nothing spells "beatstick" like a buzzing beltful of angry bees.'

That's "beltful of angry *bee*', singular, Scipio. All those tales of a swarm are just a jealous attempt to disguise the greatness of the apian adventurer and the One True Bee, Michael. (Which means "Who is like G-d", so you can see the deep symbollism that dripped from every Golden Age adventure like milk and honey.)

Mikester said...

Ah, the Red Bee...God bless you, sir.

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