Sometimes, I have to admit, I get jealous of Marvel.
Because they have hipper characters that regular people can relate to, more exciting adventures, and are more realistic than what DC does.
Tee-hee! Just kidding!
No, it's only weird Marvel stuff that makes me jealous on DC's behalf. Bitter, private mutterings like, "Darn it, howcum Marvel gets a superhero theme song in the pentatonic scale and not DC?" or "Why doesn't my comic book company ever get sued by European royalty?" And so, even though it was published nigh on to 30 years ago, I am still jealous about
the Marvel Cookbook.
Where's DC's cookbook, goldarned it? It's frustrating enough to make a JSAer swear!
"Clark Kent's Beef Bourguignon and Ketchup"
"Alfred Pennyworth's FrenchToast and Bandages"
"Ma Hunkle's Cookies and Milk"
"John Jones's Homemade Chocos"
"Oliver Queen's Four-Star Chili"
"Etta Candy's Woo-Woo Fudge"
"Carter Hall's Fried Chicken Wings"
"Victor Fries's Baked Alaska"
"Arthur Curry's Sushi Suprise"
The potential list of recipes is endless. You could even have a special all meat section co-authored by Poison Ivy, Jason Woodrue, and Swamp Thing, balanced by a vegan section from Beast Boy, Animal Man, and Vixen. Restaurants would spring up almost overnight, serving nothing but the more difficult recipes. Dining guides would start listing "DC Cuisine" between the Chinese and Ethiopian places. Cooking shows for comic geeks. Wines from the Vandal Savage Vintners. Boston Brand Beans. Titans Pizza to Go. DC could control not only what we read but what we eat.
Come, Marketing Department, get cooking!