Saturday, June 25, 2005

Vurm, infuriated


ho slaves
Originally uploaded by Scipio1.

DRAMA!

That is what Starman offers! Each panel, each balloon, each caption! The Golden Age Starman is the bon bon of drama; you can't consume a whole box all at once, it's all you can bear to take in a morsel or two before collapsing.

In this panel, Vurm is infuriated, and, trust me, ya don't want to infuriate Vurm. The fading hum of machinery! The fist clenching! The squinty grimace of constipated consternation!

Villainous invective (you meddlesome fool!)!
Frustrated hyperbole (you've prevented my greatest triumph!)!
Threats of protracted death by a Named Horror (for that you will suffer death by The Knife Torture!)!

And, for those of you who have not yet fainted, the stunning Minion Injunction:
"Ho, Slaves!"

No wonder Starman was cancelled; it probably killed all its readers!

Pow


wrench
Originally uploaded by Scipio1.

So,

what exactly do you think Batman's skull is made out of, anyway?

Perhaps Dr. Scott at Polite Dissent could give us an estimate on the number of remaining brain cells Batman should have by this point.

I'm taking the "15-20" point spread in the betting pool...

Wack


wack
Originally uploaded by Scipio1.

Bruce Wayne's head is as tasty a target as Batman's, it seems.

"Hmm," thought the thug, "there's a familiar wack to this guy's skull. Could it be that Bruce Wayne is Batman...?"


Is that the look that's always being hidden by the white slits on the cowl when Batman gets klonked? It's priceless! It says, "but...but... I'm Batman! Help me, Grant Morrison!"

Punching Bag


punching bag
Originally uploaded by Scipio1.

Punching bag: 1
Batman: 0

I'd hate to have seen how badly the punching bag would have beaten Batman if he hadn't trained with Ra's in Tibet first...

Friday, June 24, 2005

The Middleton Manhunter


The Middleton Manhunter
Originally uploaded by Scipio1.

Poor J'onn J'onnz. Separated cruelly and irrevocably from his home, which is now a dead and empty place.

Not Mars, silly; MIDDLETON, COLORADO.

I'm not sure why the creators of Martian Manhunter put him in Colorado. When you think "hardboiled police detective" or "displaced alien who walks among us", do you immediately think, "ah, a typical Colorado story"? I don't.

But they did. I guess the main reasoning was that Dr. Erdel was an astronomer type and should live in an observatory high in the mountains. Thus, even though in his first story, J'onn is shown wandering around Paris at one point, he still settles in the hometown of the yutz who destroyed his life. J'onn is so co-dependent.

Anyway, "Middleton" doesn't sound like a metropolis, yet there are its towering skyscrapers in the background as J'onn gets haplessly sucked off (yet again). A mile-high city, indeed! Did "Alterior City", "Mountainopolis", or "Verticalia" simply not occur to them?

Places named things like "Middleton" are where you stop off to get a soda during a trip cross-county and are amazed to discover that people still sell Shasta. It's so undistinguished that there are 21 places in the U.S. named "Middleton". Yet J'onn's Middleton was large enough to attract rampant mafia activity and alien/superpowered menaces, including the world-conquering Appallaxians. Go figure.

But now it's GONE. I can't even tell whether it's been retconned out of existence. The last reference to it I remember was the revelation that John Jones worked with Robby Reeds' father on the Middleton Police Force (five years ago in the "Silver Age" crossover).

Appropriately enough, there really is a Middleton, Colorado; it's a ghost town. Maybe J'onn stayed because it reminded him of Mars.

So is there a crime-ridden, alien-magnet metropolis in the middle of Colorado or not? I like the idea; very X-Files. It's weird, and face it, J'onn is too.

DC! Bring back Middleton and give J'onn a home (with a nice view of the night sky, but no fireplace).

Updates

Bruce Wayne replaces Carson on Queer Eye. Gods, how I miss the Quarter Bin, the most consistently intelligent on-line discussion of comics ever.

Jotace is so much FUN! He's now unearthed embarrasing candids of much-reviled Atom-Smasher's acne-snarred adolescence , burly firemen helping Wonder Woman introduce a girl to love on a trampoline , and one of our neglected favorites, Congo Bill, defeating villains using nothing but onions.

Opal City won our "Favored Fictionopolises" poll, because Robinson made it seem cool and interesting. Following distantly were, well, all the other cities in the DCU, based mostly on order of safety, it seems. I'd still like to know which lunatic voted for Hub City.

There was a tie in our "Gayest Black Condor Cover" poll ,between "Another Angry Boyfriend" and "Up, Up, and Away!"

The Absorbascon is taking up a collection to hire deprogrammers to save poor deluded H at Comic Treadmill from the Kirby Kult and its leaders. Just use the SuperHero Radio paypal link at right to make a donation...

So exactly how long was Adam Strange sleeping with Alanna before he married her? Let's see, from 1958 to 1975... H is right; Adam Strange is a pig as well as nonsensical. I want a crossover with Bibleman, who would spank the bejeezus of that slimy, opportunitistic archy major. I always hated archy majors.

New Venice


New Venice
Originally uploaded by Scipio1.

So, some people thought I'd forgotten my "Forgotten Fictionopolises" series.

Fools! The utter fools!

Decades before half of San Diego sunk into the sea, Aquaman patroled: NEW VENICE!

In September 1959 (Adventure Comics #264), DC introduced New Venice in "Aquaman and His Sea-Police!"

New Venice was "a coastal town", whose streets, as a result of a seaquake, were just under sealevel. It's unclear from the story whether the town changed its name after the incident, or whether the founding fathers were just ASKING for trouble. The latter, I bet.

This being the Silver Age, in the first two panels we learn the situation, the reason for Aquaman's involvement, and the nature of the problem he must solve. Gods, I miss Silver Age pacing. These days, if a waitress asks Aquaman whether he wants coffee or tea, we won't hear his answer until four months later (during which time it will have been spoiled by Previews: "Look for Aquaman to take a few lumps in October...but no milk or lemon!")

Naturally, the little seven-page story focuses on how ingeniously Aquaman uses his finny friends (I love saying that phrase) to foil neovenetian scofflaws (I love saying that phrase even more). But it adds a nice touch at the end. The city has become accustomed to its new waterways and doesn't want to give them up, so when the water starts to recede, Aquaman rearranges the sea to keep them waterlogged. Obviously, the town's Tourism Bureau is more on the ball than the Homeowners Association.

In 1980, Crazy Bob Rozakis revisited New Venice (World's Finest #263), where they've constructed an Aquaman Museum (a la Central City); isn't that cute? In subsequent issues, Arthur and Mera move into town, and Aquaman kicks Dr. Light's behind for him. Light had the brilliant idea of attacking Aquaman with a device powered by FISH; geez, it's almost like somebody lobotomized the guy, or something!

The coolest thing that happened in New Venice was Black Manta's attempt to blow it up with a nuclear missile, while Mera died or went crazy again or the like. Don't ask.

New Venice (now clarified as being in Florida) returned in the 1986 Aquaman mini-series (you know, the one with the pretty blue outfit), courtesy of the late and lamented Neal Pozner. And if you comb through your back issues of the Justice League Animated comic book, you can see that New Venice is there, too; it shows up when Batman's doing some research on Aquaman.

It was a very clever idea (no matter what H says) to create an American city that Aquaman could police while still living in the sea. That's why we now have Sub Diego. Sub Diego is much more interesting than New Venice, but because it's underwater things move MUCH more slowly there, and it takes four months to get a cup of tea.

But let's have DC acknowledge that New Venice still exists. And it doesn't need Aquaman to be its hero; there are lots of good superfish in the sea. Who do YOU think should patrol New Venice?

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Asskicking Angel


Asskicking Angel
Originally uploaded by Scipio1.

Jetpacks?
Rayguns?

Faugh!

A Thanagarian will kick your ass using only aluminum kitchen utensils.

AND make some lovely snow angels in the process.

You tell 'em, solidier!


softandthinblooded
Originally uploaded by Scipio1.

Too much Kirby-hating;
not enough Rannie-hating!

They have jetpacks and rayguns and still they need an earthling archeologist to fight their every little battle.

Pathetic.

Quality or Quantity?


mapfinished
Originally uploaded by Scipio1.
Ooooh, the "genius" of Jack Kirby is being collected in the Kamandi Archive Volume!

Let's get a little perspective on Kamandi, shall we?

Kamandi: 51 issues
Peter Porkchops: 61 issues
Mr. District Attorney: 68 issues
Buzzy: 77 issues
Leave it to Binky: 82 issues
Sugar & Spike: 98 issues
Tomahawk: 104 issues
Fox and Crow: 108 issues
Bob Hope: 109 issues
Jerry Lewis: 124 issues


There; I feel much better now!

They Stole the President's Mind


Reagan's mind
Originally uploaded by Scipio1.

By the time the Spectre discovered what happened to the President's mind it was too late to doing anything other than cast a spell to keep the public from noticing.

When I was born


tom93
Originally uploaded by Scipio1.

When I was born...

The Western hero Tomahawk made friends with a big monkey.

Gorilla, really. Named "Colosso".

Apparently, I was born under the sign of the Monkey Cover.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Drama... Thy Name is Doog!


doog 1
Originally uploaded by Scipio1.
Coolest villains? Well, Batman's, of course.
Wackiest? Captain Marvel's.
Best team players? Flash's, natch.

But there is NO CONTEST for the superhero with the most dramatic villains.

Starman.

Not just the villains, but everything about the original Starman was DIRE CINEMATIC DRAMA. It was more pulp-like than other comics; creator Jack Burnley's art looked more like an EC horror story than standard superhero drawings of the day. And people spoke loudly; LOUDLY, I SAY!!!!

Read a mere synopsis of any Starman story and you'll have to stifle a yawn, maybe two. Read one with the art(in the proper Golden Age mindset) and you too will be gasping out things like, "NOT... THE PAPERCLIP OF PERVERSITY -- EEEEKKK!!!!"

This photo is a good example. That's "Dr. Doog", who is clearly evil because he's bald, heavily inked, and wearing a yellow bathrobe. Sure, sure ... nowadays villains do lots of mean stuff. But when's the last time you heard one of them say something like,

"You are helpless...you are pinioned by a thought wall!"

Now, THAT is villainous prose, people!

Proof that god exists


Proof that god exists
Originally uploaded by Scipio1.
This photo from wonderful Dale,who makes customs and who made me the Adam Strange clix, proves three things.

  1. God exists.
  2. God likes Heroclix.
  3. God LOVES me.

And, yes, of course, I will be commissioning my own Black Condor clix...

Black Condor, the Ultimate Gay Superhero

Frederic Wertham was an idiot. Because he thought Batman, Robin, and Wonder Woman were gay? No. We know that Wertham was an idiot because he never mentioned Black Condor!

If you took the Red Bee, the Red Torpedo, the Red Gaucho, Madame Fatal, and Extrano and teamed them up with Jimmy Olsen repeatedly crossdressing, the story would still not be HALF as gay as any cover with Black Condor.

I've posted about Black Condor before and how he'd be the perfect Dynastic Centerpiece for the League of Extraordinarily Gay Gentlemen. But the gayness of Black Condor is so enormous it merits an encyclopedia, a temple, a themepark, a commemorative chess set from the Franklin Mint, a series of stamps, and a Top 100 Gayest Moments of the Black Condor special on Bravo. Want to end the problems in the Middle East? Have DC print ONE COPY of the Black Condor Archives and drop it somewhere in the Persian Gulf; within one year, there will be no new babies born in any adjacent countries, women will gain equality in local society, and sales of Birds of Prey will skyrocket.

Thing I'm kidding, huh? Nope; they'd throw me out of the Gay Bloggers Union! To prove my theory, let's take a stroll through the Black Condor museum. But steel yourself with a supermodel on one arm and a keg of Bud in the other, because Black Condor can make even the straightest of men SWOON...

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Condor Violates Your Fourth Wall


crack26
Originally uploaded by Scipio1.

"Hi, kids! I'm Black Condor!

I'm here to plant my flag...

and you can help!"

C'mon, Doc Wertham; ONE ISSUE of Black Condor would have saved the taxpayers thousands on Senate hearings (to say nothing of Gaines's plane fare).

Oh, have I mentioned the real irony? Black Condor was a U.S. Senator.

Now THAT would get me watching CSPAN!

Another Thrilling Adventure!


crack14
Originally uploaded by Scipio1.

"Nobody chains half-naked, red-panted boy-toys to a wall and exhausts them to the point of unconsciousness while brandishing a whip in this town but ME, bitch!"

Now, if that been a Stupid Hero Quote, would you have guessed it?

Gosh, comics are so dark now compared to bright and cheery innocence of the Golden Age, huh? Yep, let's all blame Brad Meltzer for that, shall we...?

(Hi, Brad!)

How's it Hanging, BC?


crack25
Originally uploaded by Scipio1.

"Now you're getting the hang of it!" Condor smirks with his typically smart-ass Golden Age sense of humor.

"And now that I have you where I want you, with your pistol in my hand, I think it's time to teach you to 'hang ten' ... Black Condor style!"

Geez, is it any wonder Quality Publishing never let Black Condor have a kid sidekick.

Falling for Black Condor!


crack12
Originally uploaded by Scipio1.

"You're rather a Scary Alcohol Mess, aren't you, Sam? But I love a man in a red suit," Condor flirts, "particularly when his lipstick matches!

Once I'm done this 'Adonis in Repose' move, I'll just truss you up tidily with this rope and whisk you away to the top of the Fallick Building thrusting into the sun suggestively behind us..."

Condor's Balls Fly Free!


crack22
Originally uploaded by Scipio1.

"Wonder Woman?" he titters.

"PUH-lease! I can handle more bondage than she, while pointing my toes effortlessly.

PLUS, I look great in a cape, which she does not, no matter what Phil thinks.

I'm more man than she'll ever have and more woman than she'll ever be!
"

While another angry boyfriend looks on ...


crack6
Originally uploaded by Scipio1.

"Oooo, nice red ensemble," BC coos, while still managing the pointy-toe action that accentuates his gams. "That will look lovely on my bedroom floor once I've stunned you with my Eternity cologne gun."

I swear, if DC put out a Black Condor Archive, rentals on Colt Films would plummet and no one would be caught dead at the next International Mr. Leather competition without a blue, purple, or black cape/poncho thingie.

And I would probably never bother to go on another date.

Except with Phil Jimenez. In a Black Condor costume.

Black Condor, Going Down!


crack16
Originally uploaded by Scipio1.

"My goodness!" Condor thought-ballooned, "Can't let THIS little treasure go to waste! I'm sure I can find someone who'll get a bang out of it; I know I will!"

Why don't planes drop that sort of thing on MY town, gosh darn it?

Whatever fictionopolis Black Condor lives in, that's were I want to live.

Red Means Go!


crack8
Originally uploaded by Scipio1.

Guys, if you go out on the town wearing RED, you are simply BEGGING for it. It's just like on Star Trek.

Black Condor's insatiable, isn't he? Little miss scarlet pantaloon's boyfriend is NOT happy, you'll note.

"Oh, is this one yours?" taunts BC. "I'll return him tomorrow, after I've taught him who put the CRACK in Crack comics!"

Up, Up, and Away!


crack4
Originally uploaded by Scipio1.

Some guys like shoulders, some like washboard stomachs, and some like...well, Black Condor's focus here is pretty darned clear.

After a hard night 'patroling' at the bars, he's made his choice, and with a lovely heart-shaped cloud as background, he flies back to the Condor Nest with his prize:

"Pardon my spontaneity, Little Red Riding Boots," he quips to the poor crook in Golden Age patter, "but I'm just flying by the seat of your pants!"

Imagine, if you dare, what happens to you in prison when they find out Black Condor sent you there...

I'm Not That Kind of Boy...Yet!


crack10
Originally uploaded by Scipio1.

So, you think Black Condor's "easy", just because of the overdone rouge and severely plucked eyebrows? Ha! That's what these good time charlies thought, too!

"Try and put the moves on ME, sweetie, before buying me dinner first and you'll be eating those pearly whites as an appetizer. These boots were made for kicking your teeth in!"

Inwardly, however, Condor is in conflict. "Must... play... hard to get," he inner-monologues. "Must... resist... dashing red-suit suitors!"

Now Chu Are Talkin, Meng!

It's...it's almost as if some Badinisian thunderbolt were granting me my every wish:

The Rann-Thanagar War results in the return of Vibe.

Please kill me now, because I will never be happier *sniff*.

Dave Bruff, Tim O'Neill; I love you guys....

How Smart is Batman?


bats97
Originally uploaded by Scipio1.

Batman is so smart...

his DOG is a smarter than 99.9999999% of his enemies.

Woof!

The, um, Meta-Dynastic Model, I guess

An Absorbascommenter wrote me a private email about the idea of applying our "Dynastic Centerpiece Model" to teams instead of individuals. Let's!

For those who've just joined us, the Dynastic Centerpiece (DC) model is the loose application of a set of character archtypes to building a mythos around a central figure, a "dynastic centerpiece". Here's an example: Centerpiece (Batman), Junior Version (Nightwing), Sidekick (Robin), Black Sheep (Huntress), Elder Statesman (NONE), Animal Companion (Bathound), Female Version (Batgirl), Authority Figure (Commissioner Gordon), Civilian Companion (Alfred), etc. This model applies to many of DC's iconic characters to varying degrees.

To some degree, I guess, it applies to supergroups as well. Centerpiece (JLA), Junior Version (Outsiders), Sidekick (Teen Titans), Black Sheep (JLElite), Elder Statesman (JSA), Animal Companion (I'm not sure the Legion of SuperPets counts!), Female Version (expand the Birds of Prey a bit...), Authority Figure (DEO), Civilian Companion (nothing there).

DCU - DC = Federal City!

Starman is the native hero of Opal City, quirkiest of the DCU fictionopolises and, judging by our current poll, the most popular one. Now.

But all of that is Robinson redux; Opal City didn't exist until James Robinson created it out of wholecloth for the Jack Knight version of Starman in 1994 (one of the principle new offerings stemming from the "Zero Hour" reboot).

In the Golden Age, artist-creator Jack Burnley set Starman in Gotham. Yup. Gotham. Not "Gotham City" where Batman lived; Ted Knight (Starman) lived in just Gotham, another paper-thin copy of New York City. Interestingly, a reference to NYC in one of the early stories (Adventure No. 63) makes the point that the Gotham where Ted lives in NOT New York City.

Later on, however, Starman was "retconned" (as we call it nowadays) to live in Federal City, whose name alone makes it clear is an analog for Washington, D.C. As we learned in a 1970's retcon, Ted Knight had political connections in Federal City; his uncle was a U.S. Senator, whose daughter (inspired by her cousin's career) became the tantalizing Phantom Lady. To paraphrase Plastic Man, "Yes, we all love Phantom Lady."

Robinson and others respected the Federal City connection by building into Ted Knight's back story a period where he left Opal City to heroize in Washington, D.C.

But I call for the elimination of Washington, D.C., from the DCU.

I myself live in D.C., for 20 years now. [Note: People who live in Washington do NOT call it Washington. In fact, they never use the word "Washington"; even the Washington Monument is just "The Monument". If you meet someone who says he lives in "Washington", he doesn't; he lives in the D.C. suburbs.] But I do not want a D.C. in the DCU. I want Federal City (F.C. !) instead.

  • I want to have a superhero running around in the nation's capitol (something that I know wouldn't go well in the real D.C.)
  • The District of Columbia is, frankly, a stupid name; Federal City is much cooler.
  • I like the principal (American) cities of reference in the DCU to be fictionopolises, so that the DCU feels like its built around its main characters, rather than feeling as if editors tried to awkwardly squeeze a legion of superpowered people into our world.
  • If we're going to have fictional presidents (particulary ones who become supervillains upon retirement, which seems to be the post-presidential career of choice lately), it's more comfortable if they are in fictional context (F.C. rather than D.C.).
Almost every time I read a DCU story set in "Washington", I react so strongly to its being mischaracterized that my eyes roll up into my head for an hour or two, which makes it hard to keep reading, gives me a headache, and makes walking the dog next to impossible. If the story is set in F.C. instead, it will be easier for me to accept Apokolitan-style security devices in the White House and the general idiocy that has been the President Luthor storyline.

A retcon of D.C. as F.C. (heck, "Washington, F.C." would work fine for me) wouldn't affect DCU history and would free up its future a bit. F.C. could be home to Wonder Woman (gods know she needs one) or maybe even (unbelievable!) an actual black hero native to the city! My vote for that character would be the obscure Manager Lad, an underused creation of Jack Kirby and Steve Ditko...

Monday, June 20, 2005

Vanity, thy name is Morrison


vanity
Originally uploaded by Scipio1.
What manner of place is this, where that strangely garbed man perches?

Bizarre architecture! Hideous gargoyles! The highest suicide rate in the nation! It can only be: Vanity!

DC's weirdest writer created its weirdest city (other than Gorilla City). In only ten issues, Morrison's urban nightmare made quite an impression on readers, as you can tell from the comments on previous "fictionopolis" posts.

Vanity was designed to attract a great evil, the shadow god Tezcatlipoca. Along the way, it also attract some low-rent heroes, corrupting them into low-rent villains. Exactly why this is the case I leave to the Absorbascommenters to detail!

I know a lot of Morrison ideas are created as throwaways, but the idea of an intrinsically evil city is too good to lose! DC, bring back Vanity!

But who in their right mind would live in Vanity? Perhaps the Creeper should live there...!

Sunday, June 19, 2005

We interrupt this program...

... for a commercial for Heroclix!

In previous posts, I've mention that in September, Wizkids Games is coming out with a new DC Heroclix starter set and a companion expansion called Icons. It's intended as a good "jumping on point" for those not yet playing the game.

The set will looking something like what's below.
REVs are figures that come on three different dials (Rookie, Experienced, Veteran).
Uniques only come in one version (duh!)
The figures in green have been confirmed.
The figures in red are just my educated guesses.
The figures in italics are characters that there are no previous Heroclix versions of.

Starter Figures (all Uniques)
Batman, black cape
Robin, Dick Grayson
The Joker, tipping pose
Harley Quin, pop gun pose
Hawkgirl
Man-Bat

Icons REVs
Batman, gargoyle pose
Robin, Tim Drake
The Joker, Killing Joke sculpt
Superman
Aquaman, waterhand sculpt
Darkseid
Blackfire
Zoom
Scarecrow
Hawkman?
Dr. Light?
Dr. Mid-Nite?
Wonder Woman?
Star Sapphire?

Icons Uniques
Flash, Barry Allen
Ra's Al Ghul
Terra
Lex Luthor in battle armor
Green Lantern, Kyle Rayner?
The new Red Hood?

Yeah, I know...I can't figure out why there's no Vibe figure either...

Midway City


Midway City
Originally uploaded by Scipio1.

Pay no attention to the monster in the picture, or the characteristically brave Thanagarians risking their lives to prevent it from hurting earthlings.

Focus on the city in the background. That's glorious Midway City!

Tall buildings! A big river with pleasure boats! An enormous multi-lane toll bridge!

Clearly, it's a major American city in the DCU. It has its own police commissioner and District Attorney. It's got a righteously butt-kicking museum oozing with jewels, art, historical artifacts, and not a few alien or occult gee-gaws.

In fact, not only did the Thanagarian Hawkman and Hawkgirl heroize there, so did the outre Doom Patrol, HQing in their creepy old mansion smackdab in the middle of downtown. As far as I know, Midway was big enough that they never ran into each other! [Please correct me if that's wrong.]

It's been repeatedly assumed that Midway is in Michigan. We do know that within a half-day Hawkman-flight north of the city, it can snow a great deal ("Rivalry of the Winged Wonders", Hawkman No. 1), so it sure ain't in Florida.

Two sets of heroes made their home in a major metropolitan area which we know (thanks to JLA Year One) still exists in the DCU.

DC! Please tune us in to Midway City! Who lives there now?

Maybe the Martian Manhunter? Why not. He's been crippled too long by the impractically silly idea that he lives all about the world, improbably maintaining scores of little lives. The man can't (musn't!) live in the Watchtower, for H'ronmeer's sake...

Any other ideas, folks?

Civic City; the Theft of the Crime-free City!


Civic City
Originally uploaded by Scipio1.

A major American has completely ... disappeared!

Who stole it? The Japs? The Ratzis? The Vandal Savage? Per Degaton?

Call out the Justice Society!

Yes, Civic City, home of the Justice Society for almost the entire run of All-Star, disappeared decades ago, wiped away with the rest of "Earth-2".

In Kupperberg's Atlas of the DCU (published as an adjunct to MayFair's DC roleplaying game), Civic City was located in Pennsylvania, a fairly sensible choice based on the assumption that it was a Philadelphia-analog.

Civic City was no little hamlet; it had its own international airport and an enormous convention center called the Palace.

Most JSA stories started in Civic City, but seldom stayed there. Of necessity, the JSA were globetrotters. The plot of JSA cases almost always forced the members to split up, each taking his own tack that required him to go to some other city, country, or (occasionally) planet.

Since the JSA was usually on walkabout, you got the impression there wasn't a lot of crime or supervillains in Civic City itself. That makes sense. Would you want to commit a crime anywhere within two miles of the JSA HQ?

Because most of their work was done elsewhere, the JSA's home of Civic City didn't develop much character of its own. But if you wanted low insurance rates, you lived in Civic City, where crime was so minimal that the only major resident villain was a linotyper.

So, who stole Civic City? Was it vibrated into another plane, like the Fiddler, the Thinker, and the Shade did to Keystone? Stuff like that used to happen all the time, you know.

Actually, the "Stolen City" is a case without a crime. We now know (thanks to Geoff "the Monitor" Johns) that Civic City did NOT disappear. In the short-lived "Stars and STRIPE", we got proof of its existence on the post-Crisis Earth: Pat Dugan's son goes to the Civic City Military Academy.

But the JSA's moved to New York where, frankly, they work well. If there's going to be a NYC in the DCU (although I'd prefer there wasn't), then there's got to be a reason that no big hero makes his home there. Having the JSA there explains that quite nicely, as well as the absence of lots of super-crime in the Big Apple.

That still leaves us with Civic City, a metropolis in Pennsylvania that used to be crime-free back in the day, but has no heroes now. Surely villainly must have taken a hold there and it needs a protector of its own!

C'mon, DC! Put someone, or even a group of heroes, in Civic City and bring one of your oldest fictionopolises back into the limelight.

Readers; who would YOU put in Civic City to fight modern day crime?