Super Set!

For those of you who don't already know, Wizkids is just a week or so away from coming out with its latest set of figures of Heroclix (the superhero table-top combat game), a set focused on Superman (see set checklist poster below)

Please take down that "Doors of Georgetown" poster on your dorm room wall
and replace it with this; thank you.

Because Superman's rogues gallery is interstellar-but-less-than-stellar, the set is naturally going to have a lot of figures I'll have zero interest in/never play/give away to someone. You know, figures of characters like Lobo, Manchester Black, Darkseid, Magog, Doomsday, and Imperiex. I mean, Imperiex... really.

DC, if you me to continue to take your villains seriously, please stop designing them like something that Rita Repulsa would send against the Power Rangers.

But many other figures will be welcome additions to my "Superman" box of Heroclix figures, including villains (like Silver Banshee, Live Wire, Lex Luthor with Hope and Mercy, the Phantom Zone villains, the Composite Superman and a Libra to pair up with my custom Human Flame against the Martian Marshmallow), a passel of Legionnaires (Brainiac 5, Sensor Girl, Starboy, Invisible Kid, Sun Boy, Earth Man, and sprockin' Matter-Eater Lad, of all people), and some lovable wacky supporting characters (depression-ridden suicide Element Woman, guilt-ridden genius Steel, professional victim the Human Target, crippled schizophrenic Gangbuster, and manipulative mind-controlling murderous despot Max Lord). Yet STILL no Jimmy Olsen; really, DC/Wizkids, what are you thinking...?!

In addition to all the Superman figures, there's also a new Aquaman, Flash, Wonder Woman, and a "The Bat-Man" in the Superman set; a very welcome surprise. I have been frustrated at times trying to compose JLA teams (I mean the REAL JLA, of course, not a haphazard hodgepodge of also-rans like Gongorilla, Green Flame, Aztek, and *urkgh* Geo-Force) because it seems as though there is always one of the Big Eight (Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Flash, Green Lantern, Martian Manhunter, and Vibe) who's not been remade recently enough to have a dial that's on par with the others. Even though these new figures are "Flashpoint" alternative universe ones, they probably are not so bizarrely out of whack with the Earth-1 versions that I cannot treat them as such. And, although I haven't seen his dial, the Aquaman sculpt has "Ass-Kicker" written all over it.

Some of figures may not see much play in my Superman games (like Bruno Mannheim and Intergang Underboss minions) but may find use elsewhere. I'm not a fan of Intergang itself, but I like anything that can be re-purposed to beef up my Gotham mobs.

VERY interested in what I hear about the OP Kit (the prize support give to tournament venues for "Organized Play"), particularly the Special Objects (3D objects that are placed on the board and have an effect on gameplay). A rainbow of power batteries, (the 3D Special Objects in the last set) I can do without; but a rainbow of frickin' KRYPTONITE? Oh, we've been waiting ten years for THAT...



Green Kryptonite, sure, that's easy to imagine how those will work: some combination of canceling the powers or changing the combat stats of any figure with the "Kryptonian" keyword within a certain range. But it doesn't stop there; there will be Red Kryptonite, White Kryptonite, Jewel Kryptonite, Gold Kryptonite, and X-Kryptonite. That's simply insane! My mind is a-whirl trying to imagine how the effects of those types of Kryptonite will be represented in gameplay.

Gold K will be like Green K, but more serious with less range. I would think it would do no direct damage, but cancel out all powers, making Superman et al. more vulnerable to attack. Red Kryptonite, well, that's where the real fun would be. It should come with eleven different (primarily absurd) possible effects, determined by roll of the die, that last only one turn!

But those others? That's where my mind stumbles badly. White K; what the hey? The only sensible effect I can imagine is letting it damage Swamp Thing and the Floronic Man. Jewel K; I dunno.... maybe granting mind control to the Phantom Zone villains?And X-Kryptonite? Well, short of providing us with a secret Streaky clix we don't know about, I cannot imagine what the heck Wizkids is going to have X-Kryptonite do. And why on Earth-1 did they make three extremely obscure versions of Kryptonite but not make BLUE K, which could be used against the Bizarro figures? It's all surpassingly strange.

Apparently, a Superman Fast Forces is headed our way in December. A "Fast Forces" is a mini-set, usually containing some of the most universally recognizable characters from the previous set and its theme, but with variant dials; such self-contained mini-sets are designed to be more accessible to beginners to the game. That will be a nice addition I think, since the dials are more likely to be all-around versions of the character rather than ones whose dials are driven by particular storylines (like the All-Star Superman version of Lex Luthor, whose dial makes no sense if you don't know that story).

While I'm happy about some of the figures, I'm still overwhelmingly mystified by some of the omissions. No Prankster but a Queen of Fables? No Jimmy Olsen, Perry White, or Lois Lane, but a Seven Deadly Brothers? The one-off Composite Superman who was a poor man's Amazo rather than the classic god-like Composite Superman with all the powers of the Legion who was the first villain to hands-down with no debate utterly defeat the World's Finest with next to no effort? Another remake of Bizarro (there have been five versions already) when there's never been, say, the Atomic Skull or Atlas or Rampage?

"Happy"

I'm foregoing my usual list format for Things That Made Me Happy this week, so as to make a focused impression:

If you can read Superman this week without crying, then, frankly, you have my pity.

That is all.

An Antidote to "Superman Returns" mania

I did see and positively review "Superman Returns", but still I feel the need to list

Ten Reasons Batman has More Fans than Superman


1. Reading Batman doesn't require you to learn a foreign language.

2. Almost anyone can look okay in Batman suit; almost no one looks good in a Superman suit.


3. Batman is not to blame for the Composite Superman; Superman is.

4. Batman doesn't get kinky with his villains (that's what youthful wards are for).


5. Batman has a different woman every issue, or at least, every writer. Superman has Lois, who likes to dress up like Batwoman, and we all know what that means.


6. You can convince regular people that Batman is realistic.


7. People actually like Batman's sidekick.


8. Batman has enough eye-popping villains to populate a small town; Superman's only real villain is a generic bald smart guy.


9. Mild-mannered schlub, who gets pushed around by his boss at a newspaper, and spends more time fussing over personal situations with his friends and colleagues than actually fighting the fourth-rate villains who come to town; yeah, Superman is way too much like Spider-Man.


10. Alfred is cooler than everyone in Metropolis put together.

Composite Composition

I've seen some pretty creepy things in comics: Vertigo horror scenes, Jonah Hex body counts, and the costumes designs of Todd McFarlane.

But I have never

ever

seen a panel that creeped me out more than this one, a panel that still haunts me decades after first seeing it:

That's not the Joker in the foreground; it's the nightmarishly powerful Composite Superman himself, disguised as a statue of the Joker housed in the Batcave.

You can criticize the drawing technique and anatomical accuracy of the Old Comic Masters all you want ... but they understood composition. Oh, yes.

The Return of the Composite Superman

I, the Composite Superman, declare to the world the formation of

the Unsecret Society of Super Composites.

The formation of this group comes entirely from the genius of my 12th-level intelligence ... as inspired by H of the Comic Treadmill. H, therefore, will live to enjoy life under the new regime of the Unsecret Society of Super Composites. We are, however, undecided as of yet about Mag.

Behold and tremble before...

That mind-boggling grotesquery (and my new lover), the Super-Duper, a machine-made creature combination of Wonder Woman, Batman, Hawkman, Flash, and Green Lantern.

The bifurcated mutant android, the Argonoid, which can use the powers of any two JLAers at a time!

The timeless big guy himself, Amazo, the android sponge-god who duplicates the powers of the entire JLA, seen below in all his butt-kicking glory, humilating the Justice League by defeating them instantly with his stupidest power!

The Composite Man, my 30th century "cousin", with inferior taste and a dislike for authority!

Our new recording secretary, the reticent Replikon!


Our demands are few and simple! Meet them or be obliterated!

1. If there are any other beings like us in the DC Universe, identify them to us, so they can join us ... or be destroyed!

2. The total annihilation of all members of the Secret Society of SuperVillains, except for Luthor and Talia, who are to become our personal round-the-clock love slaves!

3. Mount Rushmore-style busts of ourselves carved in the face of the moon, at a size visible to the naked eye from Earth. Lit dramatically from below!

4. Fashion make-overs for Super-Duper & Amazo, performed by the Fab Five, the planet's premier experts in creating artificial hybrid monsters with temporarily borrowed powers and abilities!

5. The establishment of an nationalism- crushing planetary composite currency that -- what? A "Euro"? Okay, then. Our faces on this "Euro"!

6. Drawings of the Unsecret Society of Super Composites made by every living comic book artist!

7. Joe Quesada's skull, transformed into gold by my Element Lad power, as a paperweight for my gargantuan desk, carved from the ego of Stan Lee!

8. "Unsecret Society of Super Composites: The Animated Series".

9. "The Composite Superman Begins" movie, in which I am portrayed in each successive frame by every male actor in SAG!

10. The return of civilization's most dire venue for the forced juxtaposition of characters in a joint appearance, The Brave & Bold! What? Oh. Okay ... one down, nine to go...

Custom Clix Poll Results

I, the Composite Superman Clix, have been asked by the Absorbascon to take time off from my busy schedule of conquering the world, humilitating superheroes, and scraping chewing gum off the floor at the Superman Museum to announce the result of the Custom Clix Poll.

Fools! You had your chance to wage a write-in campaign of behalf of me, the Composite Superman Clix! But instead you voted for the choices given, rejecting ME. For that, I will force you to wear a French maid's costume and sing "I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles", while you watch me melt the other candidates with my heat vision. Then I will kill your favorite hero in an embarrassing way, like blocking their nasal passages with my Elastic Lad powers or Star Boy-ing their brain into superheaviness, thus snapping their necks. Then I will burn "THE JOE MEACH L.E. FIGURE IS MY GOD" onto your forehead using Ultra Boy's flash-vision.

Until then...

Golden Age Starman, 11 votes (THE DRAMA!)
Per Degaton, 9 votes (I remember that...)
Phantom Lady, 8 votes (Hubba-hubba!)
Alfred Pennyworth, 7 votes (Indeed, sir)
The Crime Doctor (This may sting a bit...) & Cat-Man (Roll over, Floyd...), 4 votes
Golden Eagle (a.k.a. SuperChicken), 3 votes
Killer Moth (That's not funny!), 2 votes
Human Flying Fish (Aquaman sucks!), 1 vote

Swiss Army Knife Man!

Okay, as confirmed here and at several other blogs you know and trust, the Composite Superman is officially the greatest character ever. And we know he could whoop any hero (without time-based powers) on the block and humiliate them horribly in the process.

But let's REALLY geek out here for a moment. Let's stop to appreciate the versatility of the Compster, who has, what is it, some 25+ superpowers. With a bit of super-acting ability he could impersonate almost any member of the Justice League.

Superman? Yes. He has all the powers of the pre-crisis Supergirl, Mon-El, and Ultra-Boy...combined. Superman is his be-yotch, te asseguro.

Batman? Yes. With the stealth of Invisible Kid and the genius of Brainiac 5, no problem. And with a touch of thought-casting, he could inspire fear directly into your brain!

Wonder Woman? Maybe, but it would literally be a stretch. Most of her powers are pretty "standard" except for the Lasso of Truth. CS would have to fake that using a combination of the powers of Chameleon Boy (for its appearance), Sun Boy (the thing does glow), Elastic Lad (it stretches out), and Saturn Girl (mind-reading). With practice, it's doable.

Flash? Yes. He has the combined speed of Ultra-Boy, Mon-El, and Supergirl (she who could move fast enough to break the time barrier). And with Phantom Girl's phasing, he could "vibrate" through things.

Plastic Man? Yes. Elastic Lad + Chameleon Boy + Bottle of Tequila.

Aquaman? Maybe. CS would have no problems superizing underwater. The main thing would be whether Saturn Girl's "super-thought-casting" would give him enough control over sealife.

Green Lantern? No. Try as I might, I can't think how even the Composite Superman could duplicate the whole Talking Power Ring/Hard Light Construct shtick.

The Martian Manhunter? Yes. Phasing, telepathy, flight, superstrength, "martian vision", superbreath, shapechanging; he can do all that in his sleep.

The next time you get asked the standard question, "What comic book character would you be?", show your geekspertise and say the Composite Superman. Like the Captain Action figure, he can be almost any hero you want him to!

The Composite Superman

The Composite Superman
Originally uploaded by Scipio1.

It is, perhaps, the most visually arresting character DC ever created.

The Composite Superman.

DC just released a statue of him and, as a result, the internet is abuzz by the unsilverized saying "What th--?!" I always assumed everyone knew who the Composite Superman was; guess not. The topic's been covered beautifully elsewhere, so here I'll try to gather some of that together for the curious and nostalgic.

In short, he was Joe Meach, who ruined his high-diving career when Superman had to save him during some jackass stunt (World's Finest #142, 1964). Superman kindly gave Joe a job as janitor at the Superman Museum (rank has its privileges, you know), but Joe was bitter and resentful. Through a classic silver age mishap, Joe acquired the powers of the entire Silver Age Legion of Superheroes, remade himself as the Composite Superman and set out to humiliate the World's Finest. Humiliate them he did, but his powers (and his memory of them) faded before he got around to finally destroying Batman and Superman. In a comeback story, a wicked alien manipulated events to recreate Joe as the Composite Superman, a tale that managed to redeem Joe in the end. No one could do a better job of summarizing the plot and meaning of the story than this synopsis.

The impact of the Composite Superman on the minds of the young was enormous. As weird as the half-Batman/Superman was, the green skin (which symbolized his continual use of the 12th level intelligence of Brainaic 5) put it completely over the top. Be forewarned; once you've seen this page of him using the powers of the lamest Legionnaires to defeat Batman and Superman simultaneously, the image will be burnt into your mind's eye forever. Of course, Batman and Superman stood no chance against him. Zero.

After his two appearances, Joe himself never appeared again (he dies at the end of the second story and Superman takes steps to ensure that another Composite Superman cannot be created). But so strong is his "iconic resonance" that visual and narrative references to him keep turning up.

Since the Composite Superman's power came from the Legion, it was only fitting that a version of him turned up there (Legionnaires #25). Shape-shifting Durlans can copy only shapes and appearances, not powers...except for the "Composite Man", a Durlan who fought the Legion by copying all their powers. Shudder!

The modern inheritor of World's Finest, the Batman/Superman title (issue #6) , gave us another reference to the Compster, when the tiny Toyman creates a giant Composite Superman/Batman rocket for reasons no sane person wants to discuss.

Young Justice did justice to old Joe Meach when they fought Craydl, the assistant of Impulse's evil twin, Inertia (don't ask; it's a Flash thing). Craydl, an artificial intelligence composed of green technoplasmic goo, uploaded Robin and Superboy's DNA into itself for copying, but only got halfway through, resulting in the Composite Superboy, brilliantly customized here. Certainly it was the wittiest reference to the original character!

Despite being dead, Joe Meach seems to have his own blog (as previously noted by Progressive Ruin) but apparently getting hit twice by lightning has not imbued him with superblogging-power. He even showed up (it seemed) in an episode of Justice League Unlimited, a cameo that stunned watchers whether they knew what it was or not!

The Composite Superman was undefeatable, except by his own failings. The very idea of the Composite Superman is like that, too; it's still with us, butso powerful (or just wacky!) that it can only express itself in short glimpses.