Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Fantastic Farces

Some images from the forthcoming Marvel Heroclix set "Fantastic Forces" give me the opportunity to mention Heroclix AND snark on Marvel. Here I go...!

Who's idea was it to have a character based on a grilled cheese sandwich machine?
And this thing, well, I'm uncharacteristically speechless. Whatever that ....thing...is, Krypto will kick its ass before breakfast.
Yes, if I were a superhero this is just the thing I would wear.
And this would be who exactly ... the Inextrudable Turd?
Did Marvel buy the rights to Valdemort?
A touch of paint and Extrano will grace our DC Heroclix board!
OH YEAH; the Aquascooter! Now Aquaman can chase my Mordru-on-Water-Skis custom!
Who stole Wonder Woman's horse?
Exactly when would it be useful to do this when fighting crime?
This gem is from Heroclix's new sculptor, Hieronyomous Bosch.
Oven-Mitt Man No More!


ben said...

That Nightcrawler one is particularly disturbing / hideous, but the Mirage one looks a bit awkward.

Hawkeye and Aquaman should go on a jet-skiing date.

Mike Loughlin said...

Nightcrawler may be my favorite Marvel super-hero, but Mein Gott!

"Oven Mitt Man" Heh heh.

Shane Bailey said...

Those sculpts are way better than the original clix I have. Btw, you can't be hatin' on Awesome Andy and Lockjaw like that. I love DC, but Awesome Andy is, well...Awesome.

Dave said...

I agree -- that Nightcrawler one is disturbing. Three legs? Two tails? What the heck is that supposed to represent?

On the other hand, the Awesome Android and Lockjaw figures look very well done. Are these the regular Heroclix size?

Hawkeye on his flying scooter -- those were the days. What happened to him? Oh, his arrows caught on fire and he died, or something like that.

Bill said...

Remember the transporter accident scene in Star Trek: The Motion Picture? Where the guy says "What we got back here didn't live long... thankfully"? That Nightcrawler sculpt is what I imagine that guy was describing.

Glad to see the veteran Awesome Android is actually being called Awesome Andy, though.

Scipio said...

"Awesome Andy"?!?!?!?!

Sorry; give me giant purple one-eyed mind-controlling starfish from space any day.

Actually Dave those are "giant" figures, roughly twice the size of regular figs.

Shane; I am NOT dissing on the sculpts, which are beautiful. Just the characters!

Shane Bailey said...

Read Dan Slott's run on She-Hulk and you'll like Awesome Andy.

He seems like he belongs in the DC Universe to me.

Franny said...

DO NOT DIS THE MOONSTAR!!! She was a valkyrie, yo. But yeah they are kind of scraping the barrel for some of these people, and Hawkeye's sled is kind of lame, even though his dial is awesome.

The Eyeball Kid said...

Which is better: Yellowjacket, or...

Scipio said...

"I'm Yellowjacket and I fight crime ... head on!"

The Eyeball Kid said...

Damn, Scipio, you're like the vollyball player of humor. I set you up, and BAM you spike it.

Scipio said...

"Teamwork, son! That's why we heroes succeed! That, and flossing...."

Anonymous said...

" I agree -- that Nightcrawler one is disturbing. Three legs? Two tails? What the heck is that supposed to represent?"

Pedantic response...

Part of his combat schtick is to teleport around very quickly, punching or kicking and then moving on. The idea being that he's not there for you to hit back at, and he can fight multiple people at once. Each teleport is accompanied by a cloud at origin and destination, so when he goes quickly, it'll look like limbs poking out of the smoke.

The sculpture does look like ass, though.

Chuck T. said...

Actually, I thought the Nightcrawler one looked horrible until I got one, and it's great! Besides, who else would have a weird teleporting Heroclix? The Spot? Fadeaway Man? Unlikely.