Thursday, January 29, 2009

Things That Made Me Happy...

... in my comics this week.

I really liked my comics this week.

  • Didn't expect to see Yankee Poodle there, I must confess.
  • Hardtime smackdown uglygirl payback.
  • "The Story of the Robot That Attacked Me"
  • Selina's exit strategy, complete with helpers.
  • Ted's notes; marvelous, simply marvelous.
  • Jim Harper has a new job.
  • So does Zod.
  • And Starman.
  • The So-Called Guardians of the Universe.
  • Heh. Of course the Giant Penny survives. It always survives. God bless Joe Coyne.
  • "Is that a family name?" Nice one.
  • Funny; I was about to drop Teen Titans. But with this (and I can't believe I'm saying this) Brother Blood issue it seems to have suddenly become twice as interesting.
  • Carapax... in two comics this month? Really? That's... wait, really?
  • "Flash fact." Wow; that hit me like a punch in the face!
  • Oh! So THAT's what explains Sarge Steel's strange behavior; ingenious!
  • Another classic Hawkman hissy.
  • Prism pellets. Must. Have. Prism pellets!
  • "Mercy is a sin."
  • Not every day you see Batman's smoldering corpse, you know.
  • The Crystal City of Thalarion, by the Golden River, where dwell the Gargareans.
  • Always good to see Tula, the original Aqua-Girl, kicking butt.
  • It takes a lot to render me speechless. "Call the Queen and tell her to execute Plan 778" succeeded.
  • The house ad for Superwoman. Superwoman is the Sensor Girl of the new millenium.
  • The color scheme of Dick and Tim's civilian outfits; I haven't seen that done since the Golden Age; thank you Dustin and Derek!
  • Herc and Amadeus settle for pizza.
  • W-wait... did she just... castrate Felix Faust?!
  • "You shall die for your impertinence, insectile swine!" God bless the Masked Marauder.
  • Jason does not approve of the New England.
  • "Obey Darkseid" is a terrible movie title.
  • What the HECK is Jay Garrick doing in that story? With THEM? This just keeps getting more and more interesting!!!
  • "Will wonders never cease?"
  • Well, of course I guessed Luthor's password. Didn't you?
  • Lyle's upgrade.
  • Wait... a steampunk upgrade? That's hilarious!
  • Sigh. I guess I will always owe Morrison for bringing back real Aquaman, riding a sea-horse, won't I?
  • The Prisoner of Wayne Tower.
  • Sivana's characteristic "meh" of unimpressibility. Unimpressibility is Sivana's superpower.
  • Gold, silver, and bronze costumers; very nice, Gail!
  • Billy shares a secret.
  • Don't worry, Brainiac will just grow you a new body if something goes wrong!
  • I can honestly say that, in all my years reading comics, I've never seen a rhino used quite that way before.
  • The Return of the Squid Gang!!!
  • I love how Kid Eternity works now.
  • OMG, was that ... supersinging? I'm speechless. Again.
  • Batcave, indeed. Interesting. Incomprehensible, but interesting.
  • "I thought there would be more people not wearing pants."

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The Case of the Super-Voyeurs!

So, since the A-list of the Justice Leaguers are hyper-competent --

well, most of them, anyway--

it probably leaves them with lots of time on their hands, just sitting around the Secret Sanctuary, waiting for the Trouble Alert or Wonder Woman's next scheduled lesson on Parliamentary procedure.

What do you think they do to pass the time away? Answer:

Watch Hal Jordan get his ass kicked.

  • "Why doesn't Green Lantern use his emergency signal? Then we'd all go to help him."
  • "Because he's a man, Kal!"
  • "Because he's an idiot."
  • "Because he's vain."
  • "That's what I said..."
  • "Don't start, princess."
  • "Oh, I think there's nothing wrong with him that wouldn't be cured by a bit of sweet, sweet octopus love."
  • "I concur wholeheartedly, Arthur."
  • "What in Rao's name are you two freaks jabbering about? Shut up and let me what he..."
  • "Yikes. Perhaps you two have a point. It's really not decent of me to watch Hal's sordid tete a tete this way. But I'd better continue. In case... in case he needs help."
  • "That the excuse you use for spying on Lois, too, isn't it?"
  • "Don't start, human."
  • "What's happening?"
  • "I ... I think he's getting his ass kicked by a wall-walker and a mood ring."
  • "I told you we shouldn't have let him become a toy salesman!"
  • "I think anything that keeps him conscious benefits us all."
  • "That's funny, I was about to say the opposite..."
  • "Oh, c'mon, guys; it's not that bad. I think he's just fooling around. It's not like he's really into the bondage thing."
  • "Was that a crack?"
  • "You would know."
  • "I'll deal with you later, human."
  • "Be fair, guys. It's not like it's really getting him all hot and bothered..."

  • "Oh, Rao, it burns my super-eyes...!"

Well, we all know how the real Leaguers think. But what do you think Snapper Carr's take on all this is?

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Dr. Fate's Tower

In a previous post , I was challenged to make a Heroclix map of Dr. Fate's Tower, which given its Escherian architecture is clearly impossible.

Naturally, I began work on it immediately.


There's a "floor area", where players start, and there are chambers that are "above" the floor area; the two areas are not connected, and each treats the other as blocking terrain (except for the stairs, which floor figures can move past, but not see through). That is, until...!

At the beginning of each players turn, he rolls one die (or, if the players agree to it, two dice). The chamber(s) that corresponds to the number on the die is immediately considered part of the floor (with no walls). Through that chamber, the other chambers can be accessed. Except for the very first "room roll", a player can choose to skip their roll and leave the chambers where they are.

So, exactly where you are and who can see can change with each room roll. Kind of like the wackiness of Dr. Fate's ever-changing tower.

It's a hard environment to plan for, so you want a team that's mobile and adaptable. Powers of particular value would include Stealth, HSS, Running Shot, and Probability Control (which can be used on the room roll).

Monday, January 26, 2009

Pep 4; An Incident on the Mall

So, there I was walking along the Mall for no particular reason, just like people always do on teevee shows set in Washington, but which real District residents absolutely never do because the Mall is a featureless void that sucks out your soul, warps all sense of perspective, and slows time like the event horizon of a black hole, an endless expanse where you can wander for eternity surrounded by travel-numbed Kansans and Japanese tourists, barely sustaining yourself from one facade to the next with $20 hot dogs and $9 sodas.

As always, there was some sort of motley collection of Hell's Angles/POW-MIA/Ex-pirate ministry/D-Day re-enactor types milling about in those needlessly loud homemade 'tanks' they cobble together to impress, one supposes, travel-numbed Kansans and Japanese tourists. Sometimes they try to cluster within spitting distance of their perceived foes at the Moscovian and Nordic Embassies, but, since those are in Dupont, they're usually scared off quickly by advances from patrons of the Leather Rack. You shoulda seen it last week, when the Inauguration coincided with the Mid-Atlantic Leather Convention.

Anyway, suddenly, a red-haired Evel Kneivel impersonator actually leapt onto one of the vehicles to savagely pummel its driver about the head and shoulders. Thank goodness the poor driver was wearing a helmet or who knows what kind of brain-damage he might have sustained, because this lunatic was hella strong and appeared miraculously impervious to pea-shooters. I was anxious to see whether the Kap Kops would be able to subdue him with motions for cloture or whether he'd have to be taken out by an irritable Geo-Force, who was standing nearby outside the Hall of Justice like he does every day, hoping today is the day they reinstate his access codes. Of course, "nearby" on the Mall means around one mile away, so Brion, being notorious self-absorbed, might not have even noticed the commotion.

Thanks to Washington's wacky weather, I missed what happened. I was distracted by a golden shower that at just that moment burst forth above the Capitol, raining UPS men all over the West Lawn (fortunately, thanks to Frederick Law Olmstead, there's never anyone there, not even Kansans or Japanese tourists, or somebody might have been hurt-- I mean, somebody other than the UPS men).

Later, I read in the City Paper's Loose Lips that it wasn't either the Kap Kops or Geo-Force who subdued the "Evil Kneivel". Turns out a Canadian Defence Attache dashed out of the embassy and stunned the lunatic into submission by showing him the brochure of the Newseum's admission prices.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Seafood Every Night


STILL the go-to hero for Indy Bands That Feel Underappreciated and Misunderstood.

Aquamans Lament - Mark Aaron James