Saturday, May 17, 2008

Heroclix in 3D!

Yesterday, I was delighted to receive, hand-delivered by charming Charlie of Xion Games, copies of my recent Heroclix maps: Ferris Aircraft, the Iceberg Lounge, Central City, and Crime Alley. Soon I'll have to order Apex City and Weisinger Plaza, as well!

I was delighted; it can be hard to get a good sense from staring at a computer screen how a large-scale printing is going to turn out, but these were excellent, with delicious detail. But I also got some news that made me feel like a piker...

Imagine my surprise to learn that an Absorbacommando, Mathias, actually went and made 3D versions of some of my maps, including...

The Crime Alley Map
Photobucket
(including the fire escapes!)

The Big Monkey Map
Photobucket

and the Joker's Hideout Map.
Photobucket
(Hey, what's Iron Man doing in there...?!)


Very impressive, Mathias! I'm honored you troubled to give my work the 3D treatment.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Now, THAT's a hoot!

Thank the Guardians (and Tony Z, who brought this to my attention)!

Finally we can ALL own the episode where Hal Jordan gets hit in the head by an owl....

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Things That Made Me Happy

in my comics this week.

  • Well, that's the first time I've ever cheered for Dr. Light.
  • Did you get Legion last week? If not, you missed out on people having sex with parrots!
  • "Clearly you both should know better by now." Priceless.
  • You do recognize Dr. Teng, don't you?
  • So, does she just stand around in Bruce's bedroom waiting all the time, or what?
  • Did you get House of Mystery last week? If not, you missed out on people having sex with flies!
  • Finding out who Superman's favorite hero was. Of course!
  • Wonder Woman and the wolves.
  • "Water cooler accident?"
  • Roxxas Energy Co.; very nice touch!
  • Okay, that's definitely more interesting than the usual monster/alien/demon that Winick uses to prop up his plots when they've stalled... .
  • I'm glad they remembered to draw Brainy as a humanoid now.
  • "I Spent the Night with Superman."
  • The Joker daydreams.
  • Usually, Morrison's partially digested regurgitations of manga-staples just make me groan and roll my eyes, but "Shiny Happy Aquazon" makes me smile.
  • Wonder Woman calls Beowulf an ugly whore.
  • "I watch him go through cycles"; as do we all!
  • Bzzd is a great name.
  • Catcher's mitt. Of course.
  • The Yellow Lanterns decorate their Sciencells

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The Real Reason J'onn J'onzz will Die

There are lots of reasons why Martian Manhunter's going to die (and why DC's been trying to send him to the chopping block since before Identity Crisis): intrinsic difficulties with the character, inability to maintain his own title, a *snort* Rogues' Gallery even more ridiculous than Green Arrow's.

But here's the REAL reason:

Click image to see it full-sized.
And please don't "correct" me about Green Arrow being an original Leaguer;
do you really think I don't know these things already?


J'onn has not been developed as a Dynastic Centerpiece.

Cue the groaning because, yes, it's the Return of My Pet Theory, the Dynastic Centerpiece Model. Now, you can quibble with the specifics of the diagram above (Neptune Perkins?!), but don't bother, I won't engage you. Focus on the central point: the other Justice Leaguers are Dynastic Centerpieces and J'onn is not.

It didn't have to be this way. DC could have tried to build a dynasty around J'onn. In the Silver Age, DC's editors and writers were consciously aware that they were building a mythos around characters, adding a new element every few months. But nowadays, I can never tell whether DC is aware of the Dynastic Centerpiece Model (or whatever else you might wish to call the concept), and whether it's being applied (or not) intentionally (or not). When good writers were working on Aquaman, Hawkman, and Firestorm, they clearly were building dynasties; it didn't save the titles in the short-term, but they certainly had the right (long-term) idea.

It seems so simple. Trim his powers a bit (particularly telepathy... that's a story-killer). Give him the old "Ultra-Boy" limitation. Instead of casting him as a bottomless well of power like Superman, portray him as a "limited charge" player, like Green Lantern. Let him become Marco Xavier as a new secret identity. Cluster around him some characters he's been linked with before in his varied career or who otherwise make sense, and let them interact with one another in new combinations. Give him a brief, like chasing down villains who are on the lam from their regular fictionopolises. Put him back where he belongs, in the incendiary capital of the world, Apex City.

Imagine Martian Manhunter stories that don't focus on frickin' long-dead Mars. Imagine Martian Manhunter stories where he's solving external problems rather than grappling with his own alienation and insanity. Imagine a Martian Manhunter cast of characters of this sort:

You can swap out any of the particular players here,
but tell me you wouldn't find this group intriguingly bizarre.
Oh, and throw in a Dachshund named Jupiter II and Plastic Man;
how could such a thing fail to sell?


Face it; no one will miss J'onn when he's gone. Oh, sure, they'll miss him, but nothing will fall apart without him, and that's the real reason he's so easy to get rid of.

The other Leaguers have "families" that are built around them, that would not cohere without them as the centerpiece (if you need evidence of that, read pre-Rebirth Green Lantern, the last 23 years of Flash, or this month's issue of Aquaman). J'onn doesn't have a "family"; just co-workers in the JLA, and, to be painfully frank, they've got families of their own. Their lives (and titles) will press on just fine without JJ around. If you want the Martian Manhunter to stick around he has to be the center of some dynasty, not just the Odd Man Out in the Justice League.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Giant Prop Map

Ladies and gentlemen, Heroclix players, and fans of Giant Props everywhere...

The Giant Prop Exhibit


It's all ready for a visit by a Batman villain;
some of their cars are already there.

Oh, and look closely or you'll miss the
"Vote for Pengy" poster.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Inner Conflict

One of the things I like in comics is when the characters aren't simply characters, but are also symbols of some sort. In enriches their stories, because their actions and interactions become not just plot but an exploration of ideas and concepts.

I hold that part of the appeal of many characters, particularly in the Gotham City stable, is that they represent natural desires or human defense mechanisms "gone wild". The Joker can be viewed as the very useful, very human "sense of humor" gone very, very bad. The Catwoman can be seen as personifying self-interest taken to the point of amorality, the Riddler as intellectual curiosity fallen into obsession, and the Penguin as ambition rotting into ruthlessness. To some degree, this applies even to Batman, who can be seen as the natural desire for justice taken to the extreme (assuming you consider dressing as a bat and hurling boomerangs at people's heads "extreme"; tastes vary).

That's why Two-Face (who's featured in the forthcoming Batman Dark Knight film) has always been one of my favorite characters. He's certainly not the first figure in literature to reflect man's inherent duality; Two-Face was very consciously adapted from R.L. Stevenson's Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (in fact, it's the book he's reading on the splash page of his first appearance). But he's certainly one of the best, because instead of just representing the "angel and the devil on our shoulders", he also shows the often-difficult process of making a decision based on conflicting impulses. And, you may be interested to know, science backs him up... .

Yesterday, I read "The Conflicted Brain" (by ingenious evolutionary theorist Jon Wilkins, Sante Fe Institute Bulletin, Spring 2008). The article examines the question of how one person -- their brain, really -- can be at odds with itself, and shows that the brain is physically "designed" to be in self-conflict as the result of evolution.
"Brain-imaging studies suggest that different brain regions come into conflict with each other over certain decisions. At the same time, many genes that are expressed in the brain show evidence of having been in a long-term evolutionary conflict with each other. It is possible that when we feel as if we are of two minds, it is precisely because different sets of our own genes have effective control over different regions of our brains, and these different brain regions are exerting antagonistic influences on the decision-making processes. ... In fact, it may turn out to be misleading to talk about the notion of individuals having a single 'self' at all. "
You can read the article for more details, but it demonstrates how adaptively useful such an internal split can be. For example, having different areas of the brain competing to control every decision leads to "an escalatory 'arms race' between different brain regions. ... Eventually, we might expect this to produce an increase in overall brain size. In fact, this may have happened; over the past hundred million years, the size of the mammalian brain has increase disproportionately relative to body size."

The downside, however, is that it leaves us more susceptible to "human behavorial dysfunctions, including schizophrenia, ADHD, autism, and bipolar disorder."

As I've said before, it always disappoints me when Two-Face is represented as a strict 'split-personality'. It robs him of most of his power, which comes from his ability to reflect the human attempt to maintain a unified self despite internal conflict. It's not 'Harvey Dent versus Two-Face'; that's too facile, unsophisticated, and doesn't respect the original concept of the character. Harvey Dent, as an identity, wasn't able to reconcile his inner conflicts; he is replaced by Two-Face precisely because Two-Face CAN resolve those conflicts, simply, effectively, and as quickly as you can flip a coin. As I've stated, the reason Two-Face is so hard to cure is because he's not Harvey Dent's problem; he's his solution.


That's what makes him scary; he represents a malfunction of one of our own human defense mechanisms. Like many Batman villains, he's a cautionary figure, his physical deformities symbolic of the personality deformities he represents. Two-Face isn't a Jason Voorhees, an external monster come to attack us; he's the monster we fear lurking within us all...
"As humans, we routinely engage in a wide variety of self-destructive behaviors. We cheat on our diets. We don't exercise. We smoke and gamble and get addicted to a wide range of substances. It is perhaps time to stop thinking of the human brain as evolution's crowning achievement and the physical embodiment of the 'self'. Rather, our brains are casualties of million of years of internal conflict. Every decision we make is argued out by at least two distinct evolutionary 'selves'. We may eventually discover that multiple personality disorder is simply the most extreme manifestation of a dynamic that governs even the most mundane behaviors in each of us."

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Theory That May Not Hold Water

So, it's really nice that Final Crisis comprises major elements focused on each of the original members of the JLA.

  • Batman has "Batman R.I.P."
  • Superman has "the Legion of Three Worlds".
  • Wonder Woman has this new "Manazons" thing going on.
  • Green Lantern gets the "Darkest Night".
  • The Flash gets to come back from the dead (and with Revenge of the Rogues, maybe Flash-- Wally West, that is-- gets to die, as well).
  • Martian Manhunter gets to go out in a blaze of glory courtesy of "The Human Flame".
  • And Aquaman...

oh, yeah.

Which leads me to my crazy zany theory....

Aquaman will return at the end of Final Crisis.


I don't know how. But my theory hinges on the fact that so very much attention is being so very consciously drawn to each and every other member of the original JLA, that misdirection might be part of it. After all, so much is already known about Final Crisis, that bringing back Aquaman is the only surprise they could still surprise us with.

All I have to say is, if it does happen, you read it here first.... .

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Things That Made Me Happy...

in my comics this week.

  • What Meltzer mind-wipeth, Dini forgiveth away.
  • Nightwing reads Talia's beads.
  • The Great Mother? Certainly didn't expect to see HER!
  • Skrull Dr. Octopus? Excellent.
  • Lex, upstaged by a Kryptonian. It'd be funny, if it weren't so-- no, actually it's just funny.
  • Panda's not only not dead... he's improbably hot.
  • The origin of Scarface.
  • Nightwing, on the plastic surgeon's association.
  • Mary Marvel's hair. Fabulous, really.
  • A skeleton in a female Chronos costume.
  • "I am Truth. I am Knowledge. I am lost."
  • Kryptonese covers. Not enough of those in comics, I say.
  • Red Tornado wondering out loud why he's a total idiot who's always the first JLAer to get taken out of commission.
  • Jonah Hex is a perfect hero; smart enough to deduce what no one else could, but dumb enough to fall for the oldest trick in the book.
  • Ron Troupe? Really? Ron Troupe? Okay, if you say so... .
  • Alexander Gradet's first comic book was a really good one. He writes Flash and Mary Marvel better than anyone else has been lately!
  • Rann versus Thanagar, baby. I'm totally there, waiting for the steadfast Thannies to kick the patooties of those spineless Rannies. Again.
  • Nightwing rides the subway. Briefly.
  • Captain Comet briefs the Justice League on why Earth is safe.
  • Bizarro versus Non. Rrr!
  • Spider-Man telling Spider-Man how annoying he is.
  • Batman without half his intelligence.
  • God, could Sardath be any more contemptible...?!
  • The Story of the Human Flame in full, glorious color. Somehow, color just makes it that much gayer.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Haikuesday with Barry Allen

Here's another STRONG reason to replace Wally with Barry: have you ever seen Wally speak in heroic haiku? Huh, not that I recall!

Barry, on the other hand, spits 'em out even at the most startling times, and doesn't even bother to say them out loud... that's how good he is!


Can it be--is it
possible-- that WALLY now
has the speed of Flash?


Yeah, I'd be worried, too, Barry; this kid ain't no Robin!

What haiku can YOU compose to celebrate the return of Barry Allen?

Sunday, May 04, 2008

10 Reasons Barry Allen Needs to Be the Flash Now

Green Lantern sells twice as many copies as Flash.
You can credit good writing and blah blah; but all that hinges on Hal having returned. Besides, Wally's spent half of his stories fussing about living up to Barry's legacy, anyway.

Barry's much smarter than Wally.
Do you really need me to prove this one?

Barry stands at the same level as the other Justice Leaguers.
This is not a dig at Wally's abilities as the Flash; he's of the "Titans" generation and is needed there. The Flash is missing its Dynastic Centerpiece and has been for 20 years.

Barry's a unique character.
Honestly, I've been reading Wally as the Flash for 20 years and he still seems generic at best and inconsistent at worst. Barry may be a little old-fashioned but he's a pretty clearly defined character.

Iris is cooler than Linda.
Except for her very earliest appearances, Linda has never been much more than a prop (now she's a local reporter! now she's a famous broadcaster! now she's a med student! now she's the world-expert on superspeed physiology!). While writers have continued to shove their Legendary Love down our throats, we almost never get any sense of why these people even like each other, let alone have A Love That Transcends Time.

Barry Allen's profession.
With a quarter of the shows on TV being forensic police shows, it's time for Barry Allen, police scientist to return.

The Allen Name.
Bart's dead. Yet the Allen name is supposed to be part of the Flash legacy of the future. Without Barry, that ain't happening.

The JLA Needs Him
Wally's saddled with two children with medical issues, and, as pointed out in the most recent JLA, can barely meet his responsibilities to the wider crime-fighting community.

The Incredibles
Speaking of Wally's kids, are we going to enter permanent childhood territory with them or are they headed toward Their Tragic End? In entire case, the story is now theirs, not Wally's. It's never good with the Supporting Cast take over a title. Just ask Alan Scott about his dog some time.

Central City
The second Barry came back, Central City magically looked liked itself again. Personally, I need that.

Q Ratings

On Free Comic Book Day, my store gave away 1000 comics to lots of new comics readers, which is a good thing.

But it made me think about the relative popularities of various characters (the Big Icons, of course). So I compared them this way.

Batman = Batman + Detective
Superman = Superman + Action
Wonder Woman = Wonder Woman
Green Lantern = Green Lantern + Green Lantern Corps
Flash = Flash
Aquaman + Martian Manhunter = 0

Setting the highest seller as a benchmark at 100 (sound familiar?), here's their relative popularity at my store.

The perpetually confused
Green Lantern 100

The ever-popular
Batman 94

who continually overshadows his super-friend...
Superman 74

as well as Little Miss Happy to Be Alive herself...
Wonder Woman 54

and bringing up the rear...


Flash 21



In fact, even Supergirl and Booster Gold are more popular than the Flash. Oh, and if you don't count Green Lantern Corps, Hal Jordan's just a touch above Wonder Woman.

The lesson? There are many; Wonder Women deserves another book; heroes don't have to be smart to be popular; a fun Martian Manhunter book would easily not be last on the list. I welcome your interpretation.

But the main message I get from these numbers is ...

yup; it's time to bring back Barry Allen.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Things That Terrified Me...

in my comics this week.

It's not that weren't things that "Made Me Happy"; there surely were. The entirety of El Escarabajo Azul and the Super-Friends versus the dinosaurs, for example.

But my primary reaction this week was terror. Sheer, delicious terror!

  • The villain in Action comics, revealed. Shudder. Not many villains really scare me; that's one of them.
  • The Black Glove and the Black Hand.
  • The bodies of Triplicate Girl and Karate Kid-- nothing more than clues.
  • Starboy, who's seeming less like comedy relief than scary-crazy.
  • The Joker's attempts to communicate with Batman.
  • The Anti-Amazons, and the force behind them.
  • Seeing Hal Jordan get his ring (really, what could be more terrifying than that?)
  • The "hand" imagery that permeates DCU #0, just like the Hand of Creation the Krona should never have seen.
  • "I never paid attention to his powers." God, Hal Jordan terrifies me.
  • The skies grow red.
  • The return of the unreturnable.
  • Mike. Ye gods, it really is Mike, after all these years... .
  • The real, honest-to-Infantino skyline of Central City, in all its horrifying bizarre glory.

The rainbow corps, the death of Karate Kid, Batman RIP, the Three Legions, the Human Flame, and more... it really is part of one big story.

And it terrifies me.

Excellent.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

The Case Against Mr. Jones


Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

Do not let the Defense confuse you with its attempts to play on your sympathy or fear for the well-being of other characters, including yourselves. What is at issue in this case is not Mr. Jones' character, but rather the character of Mr. Jones.

And, as a character, Mr. Jones is intrinsically flawed. His origin, even by comic book standards, is simply unsupportable. True, aliens with fantastic powers are commonplace in our universe. But fictional planets in other solar systems are one thing; Mars, a real-world planet adjacent to our own and known to be smaller and without intelligent life, is quite another. Even in a universe as fantastically populated as ours, Mr. Jones' so-called Martian abilities are unbelievable to the point of being ludicrous. I can produce expert testimony that Mr. Jones could reasonably be assigned at least 40 of the 44 standard powers available on a Heroclix figure dial, and still that would not fully comprise all his abilities (see Exhibit A). His shifting and ill-defined powers render him nearly unwritable, by the general agreement of readers and writers alike (including the writer of this very blog, see Exhibit B).

Although haphazard attempts have been made to limit his powers to make him more usable, all such attempts have broken down. In fact, with the addition of telepathy and flight to his power set and the intermittent removal of his equally absurd weakness to fire, he's only gotten more unworkable. In short, Mr. Jones is a character from another time, riddled with sci-fi flaws inherent to that era, who has repeatedly and consistently resisted attempts at ameliorating revision, and has become an embarrassment for the DCU. Mr. Jones' absurdity makes a mockery of our entire universe, threatening its existence and, by extension, our own.


As bad as that is, Mr. Jones is rendered even more unusable by his history of mental instability. The Bloodwynd Incident; Maalefik in his Mind; his Sociophobia in JLU; the Kingdom Come Collapse. These are just a few of the examples of his increasingly consistent portrayal as unhinged and mentally crippled. Is this the kind of hero our children deserve? If a character like this lived in Gotham, he'd have the room next to mine at Arkham!

For several decades, Mr. Jones has enjoyed a pseudo-icon status, due to his association with the Justice League, and association stemming more from historical accident than merit. But the sheen of this gloss is transparently false. Unlike the true icons of the DCU, Mr. Jones has no Golden Age pedigree. He is unable to support his own title even briefly; he's never been able to serve as a Dynastic Centerpiece of a larger mythology. Has he even been seen with Miss Martian since her introduction as such? The Defense would have you believe that Mr. Jones is a pillar of the Justice League and thus of the DCU. But how strong a pillar is he if he cannot support his own title or mythology? If he is indeed a pillar of the League and the DCU, it is not to his credit but to their detriment, and it's a situation that should be rectified by his elimination.

A pillar? No. Where are the Martian Manhunter Megos, the Martian Manhunter Halloween costumes, the Martian Manhunter Underoos? Despite his sentimental inclusion in various media versions on the Justice League, he remains unpopular and uninteresting to the general readership and public. He disappeared for 13 years during the 1970s and 1980s; did anyone really notice? Did the DCU collapse without this so-called pillar? The fact that Mr. Jones has appeared so much, so publicly, for so long with so little success in developing a broader fan base is simply further evidence of his unworkability.

The Defense asks you to take pity on Mr. Jones. But so do I. The "Martian Manhunter" is ill-conceived, inconsistent, embarrassing, unstable, unloved, and wholly unworkable as a character. This is not execution, ladies and gentlemen; it's euthanasia. It's time to put the Mr. Jones out of his misery ... and ours.



Monday, April 28, 2008

The Case for Mr. Jones

I don't usually get much help here writing the Absorbascon, so imagine my surprise when one of the DCU's darkest stars contacted me asking politely (with gun in hand) to do a guest column, or two. Apparently, his interest was sparked by all the recent chatter on the likely impending doom of everyone's favorite ice-cream conjurer, J'onn J'onzz. And who am I to say no to an armed lunatic?

So, with no further ado, I turn it over to former District Attorney Harvey Dent, who present in the next day or two the Cases For and Against the Martian Manhunter.

Thank you, Scipio, for your kindness in permitting me this public forum; call me "Harvey" again and I'll shoot you in the leg.


The Case for the Defense, by Two-Face

Today, you are being asked to decide whether Mr. John Jones, a.k.a. the Martian Manhunter, should die.

But for what crime? Has he violated the heroic code by killing, just as Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman have all done in the past? No. Mr. Jones is being condemned simply because he is in the wrong place and the wrong time. He's significant enough for his death to provide great impact and gravity for DC's latest orgy of cross-contuity, Final Crisis (itself the mad scheme of a writer known for his lunatic excesses), but not popular enough to stave off execution. He is guilty of no crime of character himself, but is the scapegoat DC is sacrificing to keep its more salable icons alive, like some bizarre form of Shirley Jackson's Lottery.

The only true crime here is the impending execution of Mr. Jones by the Editorship of DC Comics -- a waste of inhuman life and character potential it entails.

Mr. Jones is a heroic icon of the DCU, consistently holding his own alongside its greatest heroes. Indeed, while it would be naive to place him on the same level as the Heroic Trinity of Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman, it can be argued that he is above Flash and Green Lantern in status. They have been repeatedly replaced, becoming almost roles more than characters; Mr. Jones, on the other hand, remains one of a kind.

Mr. Jones is an outstanding character. He has shown himself to be infinitely adaptable and usable in a wide variety of stories and situations. He works well in a group or in short solo adventures and he can do high drama or dry comedy. He can be a hardboiled gumshoe, and international spy (as he was during his Marco Xavier days), or a sci-fi marvel. He can be a tragic loner or a well-adjusted mentor. He is as versatile a character as Batman or Superman. More so, in fact, which probably accounts for his longevity and multi-media exposure (despite getting second-class treatment from the Editorship).

The Prosecution may seek to turn Mr. Jones' success on its head, trying to convince you that a character so unable to fulfill his potential after 30 years has lost his right to live with his fellow JLAers. But isn't that the point? Isn't that the crux of Mr. Jones' problems? When we speak of Mr. Jones, we do not compare him to the lesser lights of the DCU, the 99 percent of our fellow characters who are less famous, less intriguing, less adaptable. Do we compare him to the Huntress, or Liberty Belle, or even Firestorm? No; we compare him only to DCU's first rank of heroes (Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Flash, Green Lantern, and Aquaman). Who among us would not suffer by such a comparison?

Although most characters have never made it to another medium, Mr. Jones is continually before the public eye. He was a stand-out character in both the Justice League Unlimited animated series and animated film based on Darwin Cooke's New Frontier, two of the most popular iterations of the Justice League since its inception. He guest-starred on Smallville and was the central figure in the unaired JLA pilot. If the paper page has not favored Mr. Jones, the television lens loves him, and that alone should be reason to preserve him!

It's true that the Defendant has never had sufficient popularity to maintain his own series for very long. But is that a crime, and one punishable by death? If so, most heroes in the DCU would be dead. Now that his series is over, will we be putting Krypto to sleep? This madness must stop, ladies and gentlemen of the jury. Misguided editorial bloodlust has already claimed Mr. Jones' longtime close friend, Mr. Curry. And we did nothing. We stood by and watched, and were simply relieved it wasn't us. If DC's Pen of Death can fell the likes of Aquaman and the Martian Manhunter, then are any of us safe? Am I next? If we do not stop this sort of thing, how long before we are reading something like "Batman R.I.P."?

I submit to you that if Mr. Jones' deserves to die, then so do all those of us not among the top six of our respective roles, be they hero, villain, or supporting castmember. Is that the kind of universe you want to live in or read about?

The writers of the past, the men who created me, Mr. Jones, and perhaps you, were men of limitless imagination, who often colored outside the lines of what some might call "continuity". They could put more interest and potential meaning in a five-page Martian Manhunter back-up story then went into the entire run of Countdown. Yet we deride those men as hacks, just because they were more interested in telling an intriguing story than in real-world-style plotting. But they knew the difference between the horse and the hay; they knew that "continuity" is simple fodder for feeding stories, not the other way around.

But now our destinies are controlled by "writers" whose main tool for character development is character assassination (in either sense of that phrase), with Mr. Jones their latest victim. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, make no mistake. I am not trying to convince you that Mr. Jones is without flaw or his continuity record spotless. Far from it. But he is interesting, iconic, and popular. Don't let DC waste that; make the Editorship challenge a writer to use Mr. Jones to his full potential rather than bumping him off for a month's worth of shock value. Do you want literature and philosophy in your comics or merely bread and circuses? How you decide on the fate of Mr. Jones may very well determine exactly that, so consider wisely the ramifications of this debate, not just for Mr. Jones, but for yourselves as well....

Friday, April 25, 2008

The Story of the Human Flame, Explicated

So, what does it all mean?

Because it does mean something. After all, it's not like the writers of the Martian Manhunter saga were simply thin-tied tipsy Manhattanites who jotted out his stories in a half hour on the back of a cocktail napkin. LOL, the very idea!

No, these were philosopher-auteurs, crafting J'onn's individual stories and the larger saga that comprises them on the basis of deep insight into the soul, the human condition, and society, who in the space of five full pages could teach us more about ourselves and the world than most modern writers could in three 52-issue maxiseries and three successive company-wide crossovers.

Take, for example, our little Story of the Human Flame.

Joey represents Man's innate sense of our natural limits, born in the knowledge that he is but a speck on a speck floating in the vast sea of space. When we first see Joey, he arrives at Mike's holding a newspaper that has no bearing on the plot. But the newspaper, symbolic of humanity informing itself about the larger world, immediately tells us that Joey is a very much part of society (criminal society, perhaps, but still society). Joey uses the news to understand his small part in the world. Later, when confronted by the awesome elemental force that is J'onn J'onzz, Joey instinctively realizes that opposing him is beyond the purview of man and fears to step beyond such obvious natural limits.

Unlike Joey, Mike strives to set himself beyond society. Whereas Joey clutches to the newspaper to remind him of that he is merely part of a much larger world, Mike lives "in a secluded country cottage", apart from the world, where he crafts devices to augment his natural abilities. His first act is to tell Joey to "stay right there", waiting for him to emerge. Thus Mike sets the boundaries for Joey, reinforcing the message that Joey stays within the limits set upon him by others and the world, while Mike, on the other hand, feels himself immune such limitations, and as if it is his right to step beyond them at will.

Note also that the cottage shows a disheveled window treatment and crooked picture, but a tidy workbench. These are clever artistic details, through which we see that Mike spurns the external courtesies of common society; Mike's cottage is not designed to welcome members of outside society, but is geared toward scientific pursuits to put him farther beyond it. Nature, in the form a bush, grows in full glory outside the cottage window. This is meant to contrast with the view of the inside of the cottage, where Nature has been tamed and roughly enslaved as wood to bar out others (the outer door), and to serve as a mere platform and facilitator of Mike's higher ambitions (as symbolized by the floor and the workbench, respectively). Mike, you see, represents Man's ambition, the will to dominate nature, and to unlock the secrets of God.

Joey is aghast when Mike appears in a suit designed specifically to separate Mike from the outside world. Indeed, Mike is not seen without this suit until the very end of the tale, when he has been denuded of his pretensions toward supra-natural status. On his first appearance, Mike is showing standing the darkness of his own willful ignorance of humanity's proper place in the world, while Joey stands in the harsh light of man's limitations in a larger world. Is it "a space suit", Joey asks? Joey associates the crime suit with the exploration of space, which is not only man's ultimate attempt to ascend the heavens and exceed his natural boundaries but also the very acme of isolation from the regular world. The crime suit represents the history of human science and technology and how our devotion it has threatened to distance us from God, Nature, Society, and a proper understanding of self. Mike replies that with the crime suit, "no cop on earth will be able" to stop him (emphasis added), reinforcing the idea that Mike means to defy the terrestrial limits of man.

Joey then posits J'onn J'onzz as a natural limit Mike cannot exceed. It is clear from this, and everything that follows, that J'onn J'onzz represents Nature, particular as it expresses an intentional higher will to set limits upon Man. In short, the Martian Manhunter is God. This is why his powers are beyond ken, defiant of science, infinite in variety, and incomprehensible (to mere humans) in how and when they are applied. The Martian Manhunter, you'll note, seldom acts directly, instead acting through nature and the surrounding environment to correct and curb the path of wayward man. When Man, aflame with human ambition, forgets his place, God does not shoot him in the leg; instead, he chooses elements of surrounding nature upon which he moves mysteriously so as to dowse this Human Flame. Note, in fact, that when J'onn soaks Mike, it's not with a lake or a rainstorm; instead, he shatters a water tower, a symbol of man's attempts to confine and control the natural elements.

The Human Flame symbolizes humanity's burning ambition to change its place in the world, to be not merely another element of the natural world, but rather its lord and master. Thus, Mike's first act is to attack an armored truck of unknown contents, which clearly symbolizes the attempts of Man (Mike) to utilize technology (the crime suit) to break open the Pandora's box (the armored truck) of nature's secrets (the truck's unknown contents). Joey, you'll note, participates not by aiding the process directly, but by holding the guards at bay, by reminding them of their boundaries and limits, a role consistent with his overall symbolism. Mike, on the other hand, begins his attack by wandering down the middle of the highway, an unequivocal symbol of his willingness to violate ordinary boundaries; "who is that crazy guy in the road", indeed, other than our own foolish ambition, crossing the line and violating the strictures of both society and nature!

God (J'onn J'onzz) impedes Man's attempts to unlock nature's secrets, and with a gust of wind like a natural hurricane blows the truck beyond the overambitious reach of the Human Flame. Nevertheless, poor Mike believes that he can unseat God, that technology, as embodied by the crime suit, will enable him to render God and nature powerless against Man's will.

Such hubris is not easily dampened, even by the downpour of adversity caused by the snapping fingers of God. Self-deceiving Mike/Man does not perceive the hand of God in his adversity, and ascribes the incident only to bad luck. Thus unbowed, he reignites the flame of his ambition and moves from assailing nature itself to violating the boundaries of society, as symbolized by the bank's steel door, behind which lie the arbitrary values that society places on things, here symbolized, of course, by money.

With this endeavor, God does not interfere; our interactions with one another are in our own hands, though God keeps an ever-watchful eye on us. Note, by the way, that in this panel, J'onn describes Mike's assault as employing not "electric bolts", but "artificial lightning", boldly underlining the author's overall intent for us to perceive Mike's crime suit as symbolic of man's attempts to enslave nature to his will, thus mis-appropriating the role of God. Truly, 50 years is barely enough time for us to begin to appreciate the genius that Silver Age writers brought to their craft!

Clearly, at no time are God (J'onn) or Nature in true danger from the machinations of man. With the merest snap of their fingers, we would be gone, reduced to nothingness by the Atom Vision of God or poofed away by the Martian-breath of Mother Nature. But God's goal is not to simply obliterate us; rather it is bring us to a better understanding of ourselves as part of Nature, not as its foes, and to bring us back down to earth when we fly too close to the sun.

In the final confrontation, Man's ambition (Mike) seeks to destroy God (J'onn) through Science (the crime suit), while Man's caution (Joey) looks on, afraid. For a while, God allows us to believe that we have vanquished nature and rendered God non-existent. Man is emboldened by the success of technology in conquering Nature; "God is dead and Man reigns supreme!", Man announces.

But this is clearly folly, and all part of God's plan to return us to right understanding of our place in the world. Because we are blinded by the glare of our own accomplishments, God withdraws from direct interaction with us (as the Biblical Old Testament's Angry God of the Burning Bush gave way to the New Testament's Loving God of Holy Spirit, or the Classical Golden Age of Communion with the Titans gave way to the Bronze Age of Cowering from the Olympians) and retreats into hiding his role within the details of Nature.

God "punishes" us and defeats our ambition by giving us our wish; remaining unseen, he detaches us from nature and places us far above the context of the world and its society.

When they are flown into the upper atmosphere, beyond the comforting context of society and nature, it is Joey (Man's Caution) who announces that they have indeed climbed too high, beyond where Man should go, and the cold that he experiences is both physical and spiritual, as their attempts to set themselves apart from the world has denied them the warmth of society. Suddenly, in the rarefied atmosphere of a universe without meaning, the flame of human ambition falters, and Man seeks only to return to the safety of the known world and the comfort of its contextualizing confines, with the newfound knowledge that to separate oneself from one fellow man is, in fact, to separate oneself from God and from self-understanding.

As Man's Caution chastises his Ambition for its prideful fall, Joey and Mike are brought down to earth and the proper precinct of Man with a harsh realization of their limits and boundaries, as symbolized by their incarceration. "Bah! Still think technology is God's weakness, Michelangelo?"

Meanwhile, J'onn, representing the godly understanding of right arrangement of the world, rushes to return the upturned piece of ground to its proper place within the humble earth. "Sorry I can't stay," God says to Humanity, "but I've got to return this slice of Earth" to its proper place, just as I have now done for you.


I mean, really; the author made it all so clear that it seems hardly necessary to explain it at all.


P.S. The Magical Tudor Barn symbolizes the impermanence and arbitrariness of Man's artificial boundaries between himself and nature. Just in case you were wondering.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

The Story of the Human Flame 4


So, I'm not going to even bother repeating the options in our multi-choice cliff-hanger question in the previous post, since I'm positive that you all correctly guessed that the answer was
(e).Employs his two stupidest powers in combination and in a way never seen before or since to defeat Mike and Joey.

Yes, if you read enough J'onn J'onzz, it should be obvious what the solution to J'onn's problem with the Human Flame would be. It's the same solution he uses for
all his problems...

TWIRLING.

Yep, J'onn literally twirls the earth right out from under them! Really, it's kind of sad how J'onn can't just cut loose on his own, and has to maneuver himself into absurd situations where he can pretend that twirling is his only reasonable option (rather than just shooting someone in the leg). J'onn, sweetie; just go out to the club, throw your arms above your head and start twirling to the latest from Mary J. Blige.

Wait a second. Saying that made me realize something: Mike and Joey look AWFULLY familiar in the panel. Almost... almost as if I'd seen them before. OH, no! OF COURSE!

God, don't you hate those dancing queens at the club who insist on shooting fire out their nipples at the mirror ball?

What was the name of that club I saw them dancing at here in DC? Oh, yes, now I remember. What else would it be called?

APEX.

Oh, the comic book irony.

Anyway, I promised you J'onn combined two of his stupidest powers in taking down Mike and Joey, and so he did. He Martian-twirled the ground out from under them, then Martian-breathed them all into the upper atmosphere.

No, the Silver Age Martian Manhunter could not fly. He could conjure ice creams cones from thin air, alter the path of baseballs with his mind, and frighten sharks with one look, but he could not fly. So here he uses his Martian breath to blow them aloft. And you thought Wonder Woman "riding the air currents" was stupid (and it is, by the way).

There's a "clod" joke here, if you look for it.

So, the Manhunter successfully twirls and blows Mike and Joey to jail. Typical.

Another of Apex City's distinctive architectural touches is the use of giant decorative vanilla wafers on rooftops.

Note that this is the first time we've seen Mike without his helmet. Stunning, isn't it? By the way, is that John Jones's boss, the all-consumingly corpulent Captain Harding, or is this just Frank Quitely's first work for DC?

I guess we're supposed to assume that Mike and Joey go to jail after this. Personally, I assume that, since Mike's still wearing the crime suit and it's apparently impossible for anyone to simply, say, shoot him in the leg, that the next panel would show Mike burning the cops to screaming husks while Joey distracts Captain Harding by throwing him a Hostess Fruit Pie with Real Fruit Filling. Because I'm certain I've seen those two dancing at Apex since then... .

TOMORROW: What It All Means!



Wednesday, April 23, 2008

The Story of the Human Flame 3

When last we left Mike, Joey, and J'onn, J'onn had snapped his magic Martian fingers, causing an entire water tower to topple, dowsing the flames of our plucky villain. But the Human Flame is not so easily extinguished, Grant, and Mike immediately leapt into action with his next idea.

As previously discussed, Mike (the Human Flame) was very big on the concept of the crime suit, but his plan for applying it seemed a bit spotty...

I can just picture Mike's personal page on Crimester.com: "Just your average curly-haired, barrel-chested guy with a handle bar mustache. My pastimes include sewing outfits to aid my criminal endeavors, jogging down the center of Florida highways, and robbing ugly banks." No wonder Joey fell in love.

”As long as I’m here, I’ll rob this bank,” is quite the impromptu crime plan. Mike’s the kind of guy who, in our universe, winds up shirtless face-down licking macadam on Cops. In the DCU, he winds up being the pivot point of a company-wide crossover.


Finally, we get to the World's Ugliest Bank, as promised in the splash panel (this scene does appear in this comic!) Let's focus a bit more on this panel; there's important stuff here I don't want you to miss! Specifically...
  • The bank has glass walls.

  • The bank is closed

  • The bank is adjacent to or comprises a Tudor Barn, whose magical nature has yet to be revealed.

  • Joey tiptoes through the water to avoid damaging his Kenneth Coles.

  • J'onn packs junk.

Cantilevered populux architecture… at a bank?! Mike, don’t rob the place: TORCH IT.

So, when they reach the Bank With Glass Walls, what does Mike do?
Burns through the steel door. Of course. Because what's the point of being the Human Flame if you just break through a glass window? Obviously Mike learned how to apply his power by following the Martian Manhunter's principles. Always use the least natural application of your abilities possible. Whenever possible, make up new abilities (like the ability of fire to burn through steel).

"I dare not get any closer!"
J'onn thought-gasps, utterly oblivious to the fact that Mike is within arm's reach. J'onn, baby; you just blew a 12,000 lb. armored truck away on the previous page. Just give the man a Martian kick and break his leg. Heck, I could do that, and I'm not even a Martian.

By the way... you didn't notice the Magical Tudor Barn disappear, did you? Maybe it's a Martian barn and went invisible to hide from Mike.

So, this bank, which apparently was once a barbershop, is, as we know,
closed. Well, it must be a very profitable bank, because they can afford to pay two uniformed guards to stand around in the closed bank all day. Unarmed guards, too, I guess; otherwise, they would just, you know, shoot Mike in the leg.

At least, now we understand the narrative reason for the glass walls: it's so J'onn can see (and comment on) the action in the bank. Because it's not like J'onn can see through solid objects. Oh, wait, that's right;
he can. I tell you, the writers of J'onn's stories really needed to take better notes, or at least enter him in their Contacts Database: "Jones, John. Detective, Apex City. Hometown: Mars. See through walls. Magical finger snapping. Likes Oreos. Dog's name is Jupiter. Does not smoke."

While J'onn continues to pose helplessly so that the light shadows his junk flatteringly, Mike and Joey skip off with the loot, headed for home and a private celebration.

I love Joey's look:
"When we get home and get that suit off you,
we'll see just how pregnable you are, stud!"
P.S. Oh, Magical Tudor Barn, come back to us!

J'onn follows them and, rather than sneaking up on them with his power of invisibility, he opts for a full frontal assault.

Joey's afraid of J'onn's full frontal come on because, well, he's notice the Manhunter's junk, too.
Actually, J'onn's faking them out. Because the main use of superpowers in the Silver Age is to deceive people, not breaking criminals' legs.

Because Mike and Joey are idiots, they assume J'onn just sort of fades into nothingness, kind of like a Tudor Barn. This, kids, is the difference between a scientist and an inventor.

Behind every successful criminal is a love-struck gunsel. And Mike's thinking, "Tonight, he'll do ANYTHING for me...!"

Now that the Experienced Martian Manhunter (cj083) has been knocked of his first click, his Invulnerability is still prey to the Human Flame's Exploit Weakness, so he moves to the closest Hindering Terrain, a nearby tree, and activates his Stealth, waiting to use the Ambush Feat Card on his next turn after he rests and clears his action token. Oh, sorry... for a second the whole story seemed to turn into a Heroclix maneuver.

Seriously, this is J'onn's final gambit against the Human Flame, because it's already been five pages and he's got to wrap this up soon. What does J'onn do?

(a) Pushes the tree over onto Mike, breaking his leg.
(b) Seduces Joey to betray Mike by taking the form of a giant octopus.
(c) Snaps his fingers, causing Mike's head to explode inside his helmet.

(d) Goes back to his police car, gets his service revolver, and shoots Mike in the leg.

(e) Employs his two stupidest powers in combination and in a way never seen before or since to defeat Mike and Joey.


Really, if you don't get this one, you just haven't been paying attention.

Oh, in case you're wondering why J'onn never does the obvious thing -- call the dang Fire Department -- to capture Mike, the answer should be clear: this is Apex, America's Most Flammable City. Don't bother calling the Fire Department, because they're already busy elsewhere. Everywhere, in fact.


Tune in tomorrow for the conclusion of the Story of the Human Flame PLUS an analysis of the deep deep symbolism of this story and what it says about the human condition.