Sunday, June 27, 2021

Heroclix Sunday: Porter Pogs

Actor Scott Porter is a faithful fan of Heroclix and has been doing their unboxing videos for years now, and, as a way of honoring him, Wizkids is coming out with a Scott Porter bystander token (basically, a sculpt-less pog that functions as a one-click figure).

Clearly, they wanted to do right by Scott, as his stats and powers are great:

A triple-targeting, incapacitating, sidestepping wildcard with a very helpful special power that can vastly increase his teammate's chances of making a successful attack, for only 20 points! Sure, he can be taken out with one shot, but you are meant to protect him accordingly.

Now, I like Scott Porter, but I like even more all the characters I can re-label this token as.

Such as...


whom, you'll remember, are the bigwigs in the Hawkfoe organization CAW (the Criminal Alliance of the World)

Or the Flash's PATTY SPIVOT

whom you'll remember as the person Barry Allen should have married instead of that hateful witch, Iris.

Or the Atom's HOWARD CRANE

whom I hope you will remember IS NOT WIZARDO.

Or Wonder Woman's BRENDA

who does not have a last name but I called her "Major" because she's a drum major.

Or Aquaman's playful water-sprite QUISP

whom you'll remember Grant Morrison turning into a murderous Fifth Dimensional imp, because Morrison is not at ALL as original as you think he is.

Or deeply unloved Martian Manhunter foe, PROF. ARNOLD HUGO

whom you won't remember at all, because no one does, but who be hilarious when pimp-slapped by J'onn out the game in one swat.

Anyway, as these are cheap and easy to make, I intend to make "Chris Porter" tokens to join the friends and foes of each of the icon heroes for whom I have Heroclix.  Any suggestions as to whom the Porter Pogs could represent in the Green Lantern and Green Arrow mythos are welcome!


John C said...

I still say that Iris seems far less actively hateful after the "heroes don't do that debacle. Between that and Barry being late to everything important puts Iris squarely in "justifiably frustrated" territory.

As for the Green Lantern version, that can't really describe anybody but the Guardians of the Universe, with their giant Jor-El hologram-heads giving pointless summons to deliver extensive exposition that, honestly, could've just been an e-mail. Gree-mail? Whatever, you get the point.

And the Green Arrow version is...Green Arrow, no? Thinking back, his early stories make a lot more sense if he's just the distraction so that Roy can do his thing...

Scipio said...

Yes, I was considering a "Guardian hologram", the kind they used to send in the Filmation cartoon.

Anonymous said...

"I still say that Iris seems far less actively hateful after the "heroes don't do that debacle. Between that and Barry being late to everything important puts Iris squarely in "justifiably frustrated" territory."

Barry is a man who can turn every part of his body into a vibrator. It's one thing for Iris to discover that Barry was just pretending to be slow and clumsy for years, but to discover that he was withholding THAT ability ... man, there's no recovering from that.

About Green Arrow, I think his placement problem is that he's not overpowered enough to have colorful rogues whom he could technically overpower at any time (e.g. Flash), but he's not versatile enough to take down foes way above his power level (e.g. Batman). So it's hard to create good villains for him. With this mathematical analysis, I conclude that GA's ideal positioning is to be in some VILLAIN'S rogue's gallery. He would actually work pretty well at Marvel, as a guy whom Wilson Fisk has to publicly praise as a beloved hero of the common man but quietly tries to destroy via what appears to be ordinary street crime.

Bystanders for Green Arrow ... possibly some downtrodden resident of Star City, who prompts Ollie to make an impromptu speech about corporate fat cats and corrupt politicians. Or perhaps Roy as a junkie?

Bystanders for Green Lantern ... how about Itty? or Kyro?

Anonymous said...

Jim Jordan, who confuses villains as to who's the real Green Lantern?

And related, Doug "Hip" Jordan.