Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Central City, the Musical

"Central City" is sung to the tune of "Oklahoma"...

Great big place!

Great big place, gonna take up space!

Gonna give you towers, turrets and skyscrapers,

sidewalk fer the battle,

villains to pull capers!

Towers on the prairie where the Flash bugs Zoom,

Plen'y of air

and plen'y of room,

Plen'y of room

to string a dope!

Plen'y of depth

and plen'y of scope.

Central City,

where the Flash comes sweepin' down the lane

And gorillas greet

on every street

When the wind comes right behind the rain.

Central City,

Ev'ry month Kid Flash is gonna try
Some how to talk

to some man-hawk

fightin' giant insects in the sky.

The town we belong to is grand

And you know that we long to expand!

And when we say
"Yeeow! Hey, Scipio is gay!"

We're only sayin'
You're mighty large, Central City!

Central City, I'll say!

Central City,
where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain

And a wavin' arm can sure do harm

When the wind comes right behind the rain.

Central City, ev'ry month its citizens and I
Stand on a sidewalk and point and gawk

at the fallin' airplanes in the sky.

We know that our streets can't be spanned

And our city's too large to be scanned!

And when we say
Yeeow! Agoraphobi-ay!

We're only sayin'
You're really large, Central City!

Central City, I'll say.

We know we've consumed the Heartland

because all of our growth is unplanned!

And when we say

Yeeow! Ain't Vandal Savage fey?!

We're only sayin'
You're growin' large, Central City!

Central City I'll say,
Hell - of- an - M. -S.- A.
Central City!



Guys' Guy said...

Okay Scipio...I want to see you perform it on youtube and let us know...Oh yah and wear the flash costume too...that will make you more sexier than ever! ;)

Anonymous said...

bravo! 100 bravos!

this is officially my new favorite song.

Anonymous said...

Excellent! The hard part is going to be finding a stage big enough for Central City. Perhaps a sports arena?

Diamondrock said...

You think too small, kelson! For Central City: The Musical, we'll have to construct a massive stage somewhere in the Great Plains. Hundreds of fields will have to be cleared of crops and thousands of people relocated... But it'll be worth it.

Anonymous said...

How long did it take you to do this? I'm not complaining, I'm just wondering.

Sea-of-Green said...

I'll never get that song outta my head now!

Scipio said...

Coming up with lyrics by thumbing through the latest Flash Showcase? An hour or so just lying in bed as I unwound for the evening.

But scanning? That takes hours and hours....

Anonymous said...

::clap, clap, clap::

Anonymous said...

Weird Al Yankovic, eat your heart out!!

Mag said...

Worthy of a standing ovation!

Anonymous said...

It's theatre, people. The stage doesn't have to be that big. The trick is to create the illusion of space. Clever placement of mirrors will allow the skyscrapers to appear to recede into infinity. And proper lighting can simulate the red-shift from some of the outer neighborhoods.

With the right set design the entire production could take place in an area only a fraction of Central City's expanse.

May I suggest Australia?

SallyP said...

I'm with Sea, now I've got that tune stuck in my head. Echoing, no less.

Magnificent as usual.

Unknown said...

Did Carmine Infantino live in NYC? I imagine it would have been difficult to do the art for the Golden Age Flash and never be in New York City. You'd think he would know what a sidewalk looks like.

Anonymous said...

"Coming up with lyrics by thumbing through the latest Flash Showcase? An hour or so just lying in bed as I unwound for the evening.

"But scanning? That takes hours and hours....

See, this is where I am mightily impressed. I can imagine coming up with improved lyrics, and I can imagine finding funny scans of Central City; but coordinating the two is a task that is beyond me.

Unknown said...

"and gorillas greet
"on every street"

was good enough, but when matched with

"Grodd, you're wonderful!"

that's the new benchmark for awesome.


Andrew said...

Kudos, sir. Kudos.

Anonymous said...

Also, I have to say: Scipio, you're one good-looking man. (Don't take that as hitting on you; it just needs to be said.)

Anonymous said...

My brother collected the Flash and I read them and generally thought Flash was pretty stupid. Sometimes I felt like I wasted hours and hours of life that could have been spent reading Bat-Man or the Hulk or the Secret Society of Super-Villains.

But when you ridicule Central City, I get it, and I laugh and laugh. And I wouldn't get it if I hadn't read so many issues of the Flash. So I guess that time wasn't wasted.

This may be your best post yet, by the way.

Jacob T. Levy said...

Poor rope-a-dopy Ralph!

Gus Casals said...

People are praising yout lyrics and scan matching, but you know what is priceless? To load the song ( which is right there) and be able to follow the lyrics. Now, THAT is genius

Rob S. said...

Magnificent, mister!

Martin Gray said...

Flash Facts - Just amazing!

Anonymous said...

Yee-haw! That was bloody brilliant.

Anonymous said...

Again, an excellent job, Scipio!

And if I may be permitted to ride on his coattails a bit, here's a link to a little ditty I wrote about everyone's favorite editor-in-chief:

Anonymous said...

Comic Books and Musicals.
Two of my favorite things in the whole wide world.

My admiration for you knows no bounds.