Monday, November 12, 2007

The Ballad of Dazzler's Butt

(sung to the tune of "Hey, Hey, We're the Monkees")

Say, this is cute.
So, what's new with you?

How're the voice lessons going?
Think I should take some, too?
Hey, Van, are you okay?
Because I have enough grief for two
My Dad told me about my Mom;
I don't know what I'm gonna do.

Hey, hey, I'm the Dazzler,
And people say I sing off-key.
I don't really care if I bore you;
I bet you really wish you were me.


SallyP said...

Oh Van, darling, I know just how you feel. It is a little hard to take Allison seriously about her mother issues, while she twirls and smirks at herself in a mirror.

Anonymous said...

That's some great comic book action right there. That's the kind of "realism" that I expect from my gritty Marvel Universe.

Anonymous said...

The fates are conspiring to ruin my appreciation of the fun, innocent TV show that was "The Monkees".

First I find out that Micky Dolenz was Tim Burton's second choice to play the Riddler in "Batman Forever", and now this.

Devon Sanders said...

I can get behind this.

Wayne Allen Sallee said...

your brilliance continues to amaze me.

Jeremy Rizza said...

So, is that Dazzler's ass talking about being "more confused than ever," or did Dazzler shrink Lancelot Steele down to Smurf-size and tuck him away in her hip pocket?

Anonymous said...

At the risk of terrible pedantry, I wonder if this work should be more accurately entitled "The Theme of Dazzler's Butt", considering that it lacks the narrative qualities inherent in a ballad and its tune is itself derived from a declarative theme song.

That said, Dazzler sure can work that booty, can't she?

Scipio said...

I dunno, Allan; if you ask me, it tells a sad story, indeed.

Anonymous said...

John Romita's "22 Panels That Always Work A Butt Into The Frame"?

T Mafia said...

Okay, if this isn't the perfect time and place to promote my own musical tribute (that's right, audio and everything) to Dazzler's butt, then what is?

For, wait, that's a total lie. For adult listeners only.

Anonymous said...

John Romita's "22 Panels That Always Work A Butt Into The Frame"?

Just say "no" to crack.

Anonymous said...

How about those pants at the end panel? Now, I'm no celebrity or has-been pop/disco/mutant person but why is she wearing Grandpa pants?

Scipio said...

In the immortal words of Mackelmore: "I wear your grand-dad's clothes; I look incredible."