Having watched the final episode of Stargirl, I was left with few questions, since great effort was made to wrap up all the plot threads (including ones not even introduced yet, thanks to its non-renewal for an anticipated fourth season). Even Mike (whom they quickly had to GIVE an unresolved plot thread, just so they could resolve it and give him An Emotional Arc) and Jakeem (if "finally realizing he should stop letting himself be bossed around by his objectively stupider friend, the one who was too bad at using the Thunderbolt to keep it in the first place" counts as an emotional arc).
The dei were FLYING ex their machinis (except for that falling car, which was, I suppose more machina de deo than deus ex machina) to wrap up loose ends I didn't even know we had.
|I certainly didn't see THAT coming. I assumed that part of next season's journey would be Rick and Cameron finally, ya know, working out The Big Thing Between Them.|
And I don't mean Grundy.
I had completely forgotten about The Search for Becky, but Courtney didn't because she's a better than I am (and, you know, than just everybody). Courtney didn't get told "you shit marble" by anybody and finally was able to say "Hey, I shit marble!" herself, which I suppose was her character arc. The arcs were full of pairs during the finale as Everyone Got to Face Off with whoever they needed to, and I was most satisfied by Beth and Sofus simply going, "Can we just NOT fight? Great."
As for me, well, I got to see Joel McHale strapped down half-naked to a table with Neil Jackson whispering in his ear.
|Dreams CAN come true.|
Even Sir Justin, the janitor from Season 1, was not forgotten, since the "recap of the future" let's us know that the JSA eventually rescued the missing Soldiers of Victory from the Nebula Man.
|Imagine Stephen Amell and Colton Haynes in even ONE SCENE|
dressed up as the Golden Age shelf-elves.
But the final scene, between Jay "The Flash" Garrick and The Shade, was the real mystery.
|John Wesley Shipp played a superhero when that was the hardest thing to do on screen and deserves every resultant perq in perpetuity.|
I don't mean Jay's reference to "some adventure we all need to do!" I mean Jay semi-ironically calling the Shade "old friend". Because that's when it hit me: the idea that the Shade was a recurring Flash villain in the Golden Age had been repeated again and again and again in continuity since 1961. And I knew immediately that, therefore, it must be completely false. Why else would it be so often repeated but the stories never re-printed or any of their conflicts used a seed for a modern plot?
This idea is (of course) regurgitated endlessly on the internet. Whoever those people who write the internet are, they will believe ANYTHING they read in a comic book (or elsewhere on the internet). So, just like with Hippasus of Metaponum, I decided to check, this time with help from the DCU Guide's Chronology of all the Shade's appearances (which must be correct, since it's on the internet).
Naturally, just like a Golden Age Hero, my hunch was correct. The Shade appears in exactly ONE story in the Golden Age, which I then read at Speed Saunders' library after donning some appropriate bracelets.
|I mean, how many people own ALL the issues of Detective Comics before Batman debuted?|
The Golden Age Shade is different from his later versions, and his story is just as terrible as most Jay Garrick stories. I don't have the patience to 'read' it with you (nor do you deserve such punishment). But I will share some of what I learned from "The Man Who Commanded the Night!"
The Shade wears normal, if old-fashioned, black clothing. As opposed to his hilarious "beano with top hat" outfit from the Silver Age.
|How many years was it before The Shade finally said, |
"Look, I'm just going to wear my pajamas from now on. It's not as if anyone SEES me."
|Cosmo Raygun? "Cosmo Reagan" would be a great pseudonym. Anyway, it's the Starman Era and "cosmic rays" were still pretty mysterious, so comics writers enjoyed the opportunity to use them as plot devices.|
|10 times more light-hearted.|
|100 times more savage.|
|I think Geoff Johns is wrong...|
|if there is hero who clearly should NOT have had kids, it was Jay Garrick.|
|Guy never gets a name. I bet it's "Cosmo Reagan", because comic book irony.|
|Apparently, Golden Age writers didn't understand how LIGHT worked, let alone cosmic rays.|
|a super-dust-filter machine, of course.|
|Bane steals all his plans from Golden Age Flash comics, because he knows no one reads them.|
|With paper airplanes|
ASIDE: THAT's what I would do to distinguish a speedster (maybe even Wally/Wallace). Imagine a Flash (or another speedster) who stopped focusing on RUNNING.
|SHOOT, BARRY, SHOOT!|
It's been done on occasion. Remember Lieutenant Boomerang? Or the version of Zoom who'd learned to weaponize HIS FINGER-SNAPPING?
|A trick he taught the Reverse-Flash.|
Imagine a speedster confined to a wheelchair!
|Nah, that would never seem threatening.|
|None of these stories|
|ever confronts the actual issue|
|of what Flash or another speedster could / would do|
|if the condition were actually permanent.|
|I'VE COME TO PUNCH YOUR FACE REPEATEDLY.|
|I'M PUNCHING YOUR FACE REPEATEDLY.|
|HERE YOU GO, OFFICER|