Sunday, March 20, 2011

Costume Malfunction


Ordinarily, I try and stay apart (if not above) these kinds of discussions. But this one I can't find the strength to be silent on.

In the words of a U.S president, "This must not stand." Actually, it doesn't look like it does stand. It looks like it teeters around on 4-inch high-heeled hooker boots.

I'll concede there are some things I like about the design elements. It does simplify Wonder Woman's costume, and that's good. It boils down and unites WW's many costume elements into a few simple pieces and ties them together. The tiara, breastplate, belt, boot top complement one another. It makes a little more sense as a costume than Marston's original majorette outfit. That said, however...

You know when you're researching superhero costumes on-line and your search turns up all those cheap naughty ones from, you know, "Dream Dresser" and such? This looks exactly like one of those pictures, right down to the Realistic Plastic Bracelets, Luxurious Black Polyester Wonder-Wig, and Lip-Gloss of Truth.

I do not know this Adrianne Palicki. I am sure she is fine person, a dedicated actor, and serious about her role. But I also know, just by looking at her, I could kick her ass. Heck, she'd probably fall over and break one of her skinny skinny legs while chasing me (assuming that those rock-star pants even allow her to run rather than just skitter). Lynda Carter was a beautiful woman, yes. But she had substantial hips and thighs and shoulders, not just the bones where those muscles are supposed to be found, and her breasts didn't balloon out of her costume. She was a WOMAN. This is just... a wonder.

Always hopeful, I've been trying to just close my eyes every time I see "brought to you by the people who gave you Ally McBeal and Boston Legal" in articles on this show. But this image has finally opened my eyes....

in horror.


SallyP said...

It does look just like one of those gawdawful Halloween costumes. I'm not even sure that the poor girl and bend over without splitting those shiny shiny pants.

Anonymous said...

I know the actress from Friday Night Lights and she seems solid; but of course it's hard to tell from one role whether she can really act, or if she was just, you know, perfect for one role.

I checked the wiki for any other info on her. She's 27, 5'11" (making the heels an even stranger choice, as she doesn't need them for height), and usually blonde, which may explain the wig vibe from her black hair. Her wiki says her brother Eric is a comic book artist; he describes himself as a comic book writer (and you'd think he would know).

And however good or bad she might be, I don't think we'll have to worry about it for long. Her track record is...not good. She was in the WB pilot Aquaman (never picked up), the Fox drama Lone Star (cancelled after two episodes), three seasons of Friday Night Lights (barely avoided cancellation), the John Woo pilot The Robinsons: Lost in Space (unsold), and had an expiring role in the pilot of Supernatural (with two appearances in later seasons).

Nathan Hall said...

Wonderella joined in the snark too:

CobraMisfit said...

You know, considering the skin-tight costumes and ballooning, um, "assets" seen in 99.9% of comics these days, I'd say this outfit hits close to the mark. Not saying good or bad, but maybe that' what the designers were going for. At least she's wearing pants (*cough* Justice League cartoons *cough*).

Anonymous said...

For me, the biggest failing is the push-up bra. It really doesn't fit with any notion of a Wonder Woman who is comfortable with her physique (and that should be all of them).

I would be happier with a Wonder Woman who is more clearly athletic, even if she were less jiggly for it.

Bryan L said...

"I would be happier with a Wonder Woman who is more clearly athletic, even if she were less jiggly for it"

I'll second that. More Xena, less Victoria's Secret.

Anonymous said...

A few years ago, the latest Internet buzz was this beautiful track and field star named Allison Stokke. Google her picture; she would make an amazing Amazon.