Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Barry's Return

Hello, Barry! Good to reach you in the Afterlife! I hear you've been considering returning to us, is that true?

Yes; yes, it is, Barry.

I've also heard Geoff Johns called you recently to convince you to return; what did he say?

Oh, Barry; always so literal!

You know, I've been kind of annoyed that, while you've been gone, editors and writers have been lavishing undue attention on your Rogue's Gallery, whom
you made famous.

Also, some of your old pals have suffered some hard knocks or been replaced by so-called "legacies" with varying degrees of success...

In fact, your former sidekick, Wally West, has been filling in for you, and he--

I understand how you feel; no argument here!

By the way, I'm not sure how time is perceived in Bald Man's Heaven; do you realize that Wally's been trying to be the Flash for over twenty years?

Only in terms of monthly sales, Barry.

Be forewarned; DC's been altering the universe in a lot of unpleasant ways during the period you've been away. Perhaps you were right during the last twenty years to stay away, so as to--

Yeah, sometimes the current DCU seems hard for me to recognize, too, Barry.

But there's more. You do realize that Grant Morrison and Dan Didio are continuing to remake the DCUniverse, as if--

Well, whatever you think, Barry; you know best.

What do you think the reaction will be to you rejoining Green Lantern in returning from the dead?

Oh, Barry; you're so literal!

Now that you're back with us, what will become of Wally, though? Lots of people are con--

Oh, so you think Grant Morrison has a plan to get rid of Wally, and if so, how do think the fans will react to that?

Yeah, that sounds about right.


SallyP said...

Heh heh. Oh Barry...I've missed you so. Too bad you didn't have a chance to say hello to J'onn.

I've missed your big blue eyes that you can actually SEE through your masks eyeholes, and your perky blonde crew cut. AND your whole CSI thingie. Of course Wally is bound to start feeling inadequate again, but what the hell...what else is new?

Siskoid said...

When the going gets tough, the Flashes go to the future.

Wally in the 31st century Crisis?

Anonymous said...

Sorry...I stopped reading when you said Wally had been "trying to be the Flash" for the last 20 years.

Wally is the Flash. He earned his place years ago. He headlined a successful book for two decades and as many individual issues as Barry did. He's not a fill-in or a wannabe, he's the real deal.

And I'm sick of people trying to retcon in the idea that the character was a failed experiment.

Scipio said...


Why so serious...?

Michael Xavier said...

I thought I posted earlier, but must've entered the nonsense word wrong...

Anyways, I always enjoy these tongue-in-cheek Showcase posts. On a "why so serious" note, I hope DC has learned, if nothing else, from the Bart Allen situation that killing off characters or sending them into a "paradise dimension" tends to anger more people in the long run compared to how much it actually "fixes."

Michael Xavier said...

Oh, and Scipio: don't know if you read this in Morrison's Crisis #2 Comments on Newsarama: "Sonny’s appearance in the book is an early clue as to what’s really going down behind the scenes. Another clue is ’the mysterious new Aquaman’ who makes his debut in Final Crisis #3."

Is this ANOTHER new Aquaman? Who was wearing Orin's orange shirt at Martian Manhunter's funeral? I've heard of forgetting your suit at home and having to borrow, but this is ridiculous...

Scipio said...

Sonny? Who's Sonny?

Michael Xavier said...


Sonny Sumo is a rather obscure Fourth World sumo wrestler New God. That Jack Kirby and his wacky ideas!

Anyway, interview is here: http://www.newsarama.com/comics/080721-MorrisonFC02.html
Although he does not say any else of note about Aquaman. Guess we'll find out July 30th!

Uhhh... I just checked dccomics.com. Make that August 6th!

#6 said...

DC are belatedly going to try and make movies. That means all the silver age crap is coming back. That means Barry Allen is the least of a modern reader's worries. If DC still has any readers.

validation word: mocca. which actually means something. go figure.

Scipio said...

"which actually means something. go figure."

More than your comment, I dare say.

#6 said...

do you look like the simpsons comicbook guy or just sound like him?

Scipio said...

LOL, neither really.

Look, Jonathan, if you just want to make random generalization about things being "crap" and me-too-ish fanboy whining, I suggest the Newsarama discussion boards.

It's not really welcome here, sounds stupid, and adds nothing to the discussion.

Basil said...

Little doubt, the dude is completely just.
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