Killer Moth Week, 6: Frasier, with more murder

So, in his elaborate French-farce deception of cynical criminal and former gay porn start Whitey Casey, Killer Moth (who has now taken the role of both Bruce Wayne and Batman, while the real McCoy languishes in an abandoned bank vault somewhere in the city) has promised to prove that Batman is scared of him, establishing his street cred for good.

In France, Whitey Casey is more popular than the Joker, you know.

Fortunately for Killer Moth this opportunity presents itself the very next night.  Now, if we wanted to be kind, we'd assume that Whitey has told Killer Moth what his next 'job' is, and that Killer Moth, as "Batman" therefore arranges to run into the Casey Gang on patrol.  But, well, we're not kind, and it's not true.  It's achingly clear from the dialog that, no, in fact, Killer "Batman" Moth and Robin just coincidentally happen upon them.

Robin can identify a bolt of silk from inside a car during a pounding rainstorm.  And they call me gay.

While Killer "Batman" Moth does his Captain Obvious routine, Robin indulges in silk-based humor.

Where's Hugo Strange when you need him? " Hm. Silkworms.  Cocoons.  I zee.  

I tink maybe your zubconsiouz is trying to tell you someting, Boy Vunder!"

"Batman" makes good on Killer Moth's promise and when Whitey Casey uses his 'mothsignal', his pursuers back off.

A quick change and Killer Moth condescendingly confronts Casey.

Hey, it's just like the restaurant scene in Mrs. Doubtfire. Except funny.

But Whitey Casey, who's so dissolute he gargles with absinthe, ain't buying.  Hilariously, the worldly Whitey still finds it non-credible that Batman was scared off by Killer Moth, because... because Killer Moth.

20 minutes?  Jeez, Vicki Vale could make it in 15.  But then, she doesn't have to change clothes.  Or even put them on. 

This is the point where Killer Moth should say "bugger off, Casey," realize that trying to build up the "Moth" brand is way more trouble than it's worth and just skip town with all of Bruce Wayne's money and Vicki Vale on his arm.  But the most important thing to Killer Moth, as we've established, is BEING Killer Moth, so he's got to escalate his escapades by promising to deliver Batman & Robin to Casey.  So quick-changing back into his Batman outfit, he drives to Robin to the vault where Bruce Wayne is trapped... OR IS HE?!?!

HA, HA!

Well, of course Bruce Wayne escaped, you ninny. One; he's Batman; why didn't you go back and shoot him the second you discovered that?  Two; bank vaults are designed to keep people OUT, not in.  You'd probably know that if you'd ever tried robbing a bank, instead of cos-playing your "Killer Moth" fan fic character. Bruce managed to escape by--well, it's easier to let him explain it:

And just exactly how many days did it take you to notice the hinges, MacGyver?  Sigh.  He probably spent two days rummaging through the safe deposit boxes for materials he could use to build a primitive radio transmitter using the bars as an antenna, rather than just take the damned door off.

So, when KM finds the vault empty, he needs to improv fast.  Forgetting which end of the gun actually does the work, Killer Moth knocks out Robin just as he's asking the eternal question, "HOW MUCH LONGER ARE YOU GOING TO KEEP UP THE MYST..."

Smart money's on Stoneship. And I'll lay 3 to 1 against Channelwood.

 Pistolwhipper Moth then doubftires back into his crime costume.

These change scenes would be so much better with music: here.

But, MEANWHILE, the REAL Batman comes upon Whitey Casey (and you know he's not the first).

  "It's Frasier!  But Niles told us that Frasier went with Martin to the baseball game!"

Naturally, Batman takes barely a panel to beat the crap out of the Casey Gang (I mean, really; they're silk thieves), then dashes off to follow Robin, whom he's deduced Killer Moth has taken to the same vault he just escaped from.

Sure enough, Kidnapper Moth has locked Robin in the vault.  Which, if you think about it, means that the very first thing Batman did when he broke out of the vault was... re-attach the door.   Way to go, Mr. Monk.

Of course, by now, Robin realizes that he's been dealing with a fake Batman all along, so when the real Batman comes to the rescue, Robin attacks him. 

"Dr. Crane?! What are you doing here? Your brother said you took Mr. Crane to the baseball game!"

Batman proves his identity by spouting one of those stupid unrealistic Hero Hints from Heloise that he was so fond of in the Golden Age: "...then the racing stripes come out nice and straight!"  "Yeesh, only the real Batman would care about something so stupid in the pre-internet era." 

Meanwhile, Killer Moth makes the only smart decision in his career.

 Ya think...?

Whitey Casey, however, does his best work lying face down, and, believing that Killer Moth double-crossed him, uses the machine gun that Batman apparently didn't think to confiscate.  Probably too eager to rush back to make sure his patch job on the vault door was still holding up.

"Here's a dose of insecticide!" HA, HA! 

Yeah, I demand the return of Whitey Casey, along with Sonny Blandish.

"DIE, NILES, YOU RAT BASTARD, DIE!"

Tenso.

And you just know that, as each bullet ripped through his body, all he can think is, "My KILLER MOTH COSTUME!!!!"

Naturally, this leaves us with the classic comic book irony of "Batman must save the life of the person who can end his career if he survives".  Yawn.

"Um, Batman; are you sure we don't have a hospital in the trunk?  I think we do."

They reach the hospital, and...

 GOOD LORD, SONNY BLANDISH IS ALSO A BRILLIANT SURGEON.  Of course he is!

 That door, by the way, is not white.

So, Killer Moth was shot up by over 9000 bullets, but at least they were all in the legs and torso.  I guess that's why he survived.  Clearly, Whitey wasn't able to aim for his head (that would be nearly impossible from Whitey's angle, lying on the ground as he was).

 How terribly, terribly convenient.

Wow. I mean, I'm not surprised Dr Sonny Blandish has identified the exact portion of the brain entirely responsible for your memory of the previous week (he is Sonny Blandish, after all).  But facial reconstruction AND amnesia by gunfire?  Screw you, Joe Biden, I need a gat stat, because those things are MAGIC.  Once AGAIN, Batman's life/identity has been saved by guns.  

KIller Moth Week, 5: Batman's Double

Do you remember that story where a criminal had plastic surgery and took over Batman's life, becoming both Batman and Bruce Wayne?

Oh, wait, you probably think I'm talking about that terrible goulash character, "Hush".  Ha! Ha, ha!  I fooled you!  I am, of course, talking about Killer Moth, a.k.a.... Batman's Double!

You'll notice that, even though this is only Killer Moth's second appearance, the writers are already showing some regret about the "Killer" moniker, because they frequently just call him "The Moth".  Because that helps so much.

As you'll remember, his first outing didn't turn out so well. Then he fell off a bridge.  So things just have to get better from here. HA, HA!

Warning: this scene does NOT appear in this comic!

The story starts with a recap of the events of Killer Moth's first story.  Here's the famous scene where Batman unmasked Killer Moth!

Perhaps the only thing that looks more ridiculous than wearing the Killer Moth costume is wearing the Killer Moth costume with a lab coat.

Wait.  Wait, what?  That.... that didn't happen.  As you may remember from yesterday's post, the writer took great pains to protect Killer Moth's identity at the end of his first outing, Despite having been to the Mothcave, Batman and Robin do NOT know who Killer Moth is, they didn't unmask him, they didn't capture him.  And, no, before you ask: I have not overlooked an intervening story.  The writer has completely misrepresented the ending of KM's origin.  But why...? Let's read and find out!

Killer Moth (or I guess he's Prisoner 234026 again now) escapes from prison using his mothy wiles, and tries to figure how to recapture the indescribable glory that was his one-day-long life as Killer Moth.

Oh, we've all been there. Sitting there broke and on the lam, wishing that we were Killer Moth.  Sigh.


Then he hits upon the really bright idea of just talking the place of some rich twit, of simply stealing himself a new identity.. That way, he'll be rich and won't have to do anything bone stupid like the Killer Moth schtick.

The candle in the bottle is a nice touch.

Unless he really really wants to.  Yes, instead of becoming Killer Moth so he can become a wealthy playboy, Prison 234026 needs to become a wealth playboy so that he can become Killer Moth.  Being "Killer Moth". we finally realize, is not a means to an end; it is an end in itself.

Usually, there is where I'd share some sharp literary analysis that makes sense of all this.  Like, how Killer Moth symbolizes the idolators of the famous with his infatuation with becoming a Batman counterpart.  How he is intentionally left nameless to symbolize his searing lack of identity and how eager he is to give up his own face to become another person entirely.  How his choice of the moth, which symbolizes complete transformation, as his crime symbol subconsciously represents his self-loathing and desperate need to create a new a fabulous transformed version of himself as Killer Moth, with delusions of grandeur as the 'anti-Batman'.  Which all sounds good, but in reality, I just think he's bone stupid.

I mean, he didn't pick Sonny Blandish; anyone who'd pass up the chance to become Sonny Blandish is obviously bone stupid. Jeebus, man, Sonny Blandish is like a delicious smoothie made of equal parts Teddy Roosevelt, FDR, and Charles Lindbergh.  I'm writing him in next time I vote for DC shadow senator.

Anyway, with characteristic Golden Age efficiency, he takes just one single panel to go to a 'disreputable plastic surgeon' (they're actually listed that way in the Gotham City phonebook, you know) and get his face changed into Bruce Wayne's.

Then he kidnaps Bruce Wayne after a boxing match (really; just don't ask) and locks him in an abandoned bank vault in the foundations of an abandoned bank.  Because Gotham City is... a very odd place.

A limitless supply of food, no doubt.  Because Killer Moth is great at thinking ahead.
My favorite part of this?  "I don't want a murder rap hanging over me if anything goes wrong.  So I guess I'll change my name to...KIDNAPPER MOTH! HA,HA!"

Then he sends Dick off to an orphanage, fires Alfred, and moves to Ibiza with Vicki Vale.  Cuz you know it would only take one phone call to convince her.

"Pack? Get dressed?!  Why? I'm already wearing a towel.  I'll meet you at the docks in 10, maybe 15 if I stop to put heels on."

Just kidding.  Naturally, he gets called into action as Batman immediately.  OH, the comic book irony!

 Batcave historians like to gloss over its lime-green period. But sometimes the truth is ugly.

So, Killer Moth has seen the Batcave and knows who Batman is.  Uh-oh.  That only leaves two options for him later: getting shot or amnesia.  Place yer bets, folks!

Then there's long, boring sections about some gang that's stealing...

--quickly, what's the most boring thing you can think of to steal?  

Okay, now, continue--

...shipments of machine parts.  Machine parts? How riveting.

Oh, plus there's Bruce adapting to life in an abandoned bank vault.  You know how Golden Age Batman is: "An abandoned sewing kit!  I can catch some rainwater in this thimble and use it to clean this spool of thread to use as dental floss!  Mustn't let my dental hygiene lapse just because I'm trapped in an abandoned bank vault!"

Bruce extends his food supply by dining on delicious comic book irony.

And by long I mean six or eight panels; in the modern age it would be six to eight months, but modern readers would probably be okay with that because it would mean they could stare at lovingly detailed double-page centerfold spreads of stolen machine parts.

"They look so.... real!"

As part of this subplot, Killer Moth sees the opportunity to revenge himself on Whitey Casey.  You can tell Whitey Casey is part of Gotham's gay porn industry/mafia because his name, like most gay  porn star names, works as well backwards as it does forward.

"Thugzilla Does Whitey"; 
"Tighty Whitey"; 
'Tighty Whitey 2: The Boxer Rebellion".  
Classics, all.

HA, HA!

Speaking of porn, Killer Moth spends the evenings wallowing in fan-porn in the Batcave's Trophy Room reminiscing about events we know damned well never actually happened.

Hey, fan boy!  Get a trophy room!

It's kind of sad.  As big a loser as Killer Moth seemed at the end of his first story, that wasn't enough for the writers; they had to retcon him into being an even BIGGER loser.

Anyway, with Robin's (substantial) help, Killer Moth-as-Batman ruins Whitey Casey's plush racket of stealing machine parts, which I suppose one sells to Gotham City's insuperable fences, who then re-sell them to criminals who make Mothmobiles, fiddle-cars, and giant mechanical bears. I tell you, Gotham City is an economic rainforest, people.

Then, as Killer Moth, he confronts Whitey as part of an elaborate Frasier-type scheme to convince the underworld that Batman is afraid of Killer Moth, thus ensuring the success of his Killer Mothing business.

WHOA.  The porn industry takes its toll, doesn't it, Whitey?  

Let that be a lesson, club kids; stay in school!

Poor KM!  "I gave you my number and waited at home for you to call in this very outfit that I bought special.  I waited and waited and you never called, hurting my feelings and making me feel bad about myself and I didn't even go to the Supervillain Homecoming Dance but sat home alone and stared at my empty trophy cases. I hate you."

Well, Killer Moth is about to fool you, Evil Andy Warhol! HA! HA!

Wait; is "evil Andy Warhol" redundant?

Yep.  Even though he's now succeeding as FREAKING BATMAN, that's not enough for him.  He needs to make KILLER MOTH a success. AND use an old rival to do so.  It's another ingenious Killer Moth scheme.

What could possibly go wrong...?

More Fun with FACES

With the gargoyles captured (and off to have their faces presumably 'returned' to them by Dr Rankin at some point), the Real Villain of the Piece hightails it outta there.

Some writer was SO proud of writing "devilish Angel".

Returning to his hospital (how DOES a hospital become famous is all it does is mess up people's faces?!), Angel forces Dr. Rankin to give him a new face as a ticket to new life.

Look, Rankin; Green Arrow may be no Batman, but you're no Sonny Blandish.

After all this shouting in the hospital Quiet Zone, the deed is done.

I guess Star City police couldn't track down the man whose face was completely covered in bandages and on the run.  They did, however, detain Tommy Elliot, Larry Trainor, Dr. Spencer, Prof. Wilson, Hugo Drummond, the Unknown Soldier, and Hassan the Mummy.

But, lest we forget, Prof. Angel is, in his eagerness to keep himself at arm's-distance from his nasty business, SLOPPY.  All of his gargoyle crimes were unproductive fiascos, he let someone else 'do in' Green Arrow, and then couldn't even be bothered to make sure Green Arrow was dead.

If I had the chance, I'd sit on Ollie's corpse for at least two hours, just to make sure.

So perhaps his belief, as he strides purposefully toward the glorious end of his next five-year plan, that he's gotten off scot-free is misplaced.  

"I'll make a fortune! Just like I did this time!"

Sure enough, he's soon got men on his tail: the po-po!

Panicked to defend himself, he pulls a gun...

"I...I...ieeYIIIIIII!"

and he's shot dead by five cops with seven guns, who apparently were chasing him not because he was Professor Angel, but because they thought he was someone else.

Yes, Doctor Rankin got his revenge on (and freedom from) Professor Angel by giving him the face of someone the police would naturally chase:

FBI Director
J.  E D G A R  H O O V E R

Well, much like Professor Angel, I certainly didn't see THAT coming.  But I guess if you don't want men on your tail and shooting on you, don't run around looking like J. Edgar Hoover.  

My apologies for dissing Dr. Rankin earlier; perhaps he IS Star City's Sonny Blandish!  He, at least, stopped Prof. Angel (a powerless, talentless, sloppy blackmailer) when Green Arrow couldn't.  And Rankin was smart enough to know that anyone dumb enough not to notice that Ollie was still breathing would also be satisfied when you gave him this face:

J.Edgar, when this story was published.

So, all's well that ends well. The bad guy is dead, the victims get their faces 'returned', no one cares about some dead truck drivers, and Ollie gets another item for his Armoire of Trophies.

"Ollie.... you DO realize that Bright can't WORK without that, right?"
"That's right, Roy; another actor saved from being on a CW show!"

More Fun with GAS

APRIL FOOL!

"I had to use the Starman Code, because there is no Green Arrow Code, because you aren't in the Justice Soci--"
"THANK YOU AGAIN DOCTOR RANKIN."

Yes, I was DECEIVING you yesterday on April Fool's Day, for Ollie Queen is NOT, in fact, dead. Neither is Roy Harper, which was, of course, the 'dead' giveaway; killing Ollie Queen is one thing, but what kind of idiot writer would kill off Roy Harper?

Yet another underwhelming Batman foe winds up in Green Arrow's hand-me-down Rogues Gallery.

As you read in the story panel, Doc Rankin's 'shaking hands' were IN FACT tapping out a message on the bowmen's faces in (what we can only assume was Morse) code.  If you were lying semiconscious, would YOU understand if some tapped out "P L A Y D E A D I T I S O N L Y O X Y G E N" on your face?  Well, then you're no Green Arrow!  Fortunately, as I mentioned once 16 years ago, everyone in comics knows Morse code, cold.

Even dogs can do it. In Spanish. While dying of radiation poisoning.

Dr Rankin explains the whole situation to the bowmen, who speed off in the Arrowcar (yeah, I know, they are still calling it the Arrowplane at this point, probably because it's the size of a hangar) to the gargoyles' next heist.

"Um, sure, Arrow. I'll... 'return' their faces to them. I keep them here, in a jar by the door, next to Ms. Rigby's."

Sigh; you know, if Rankin were a Gothamite instead of a Star Citizen, he would have kicked Angel's ass, then flown to Germany and rescued his own family.  That's what Sonny Blandish would have done.

The next heist is at a gold mine, where the third gargoyle uses his expertise as a mining engineer to effect some chemical folderol that knocks out all opposition.

Only idle billionaire anthropologists can afford their own aqualung-arrows, you know.

Green Arrow shows up to foil them, and, once they realize Speedy is with him, they know they are in trouble.

Unfortunately, Roy seems to still be hyper-oxygenated from Dr Rankin's ruse, and misjudges his entrance.

I have no idea what "here's where this ghost goes west" means. The past is a foreign country.

Gotta appreciate that Roy is still brassy enough to sass Ollie while falling to certain death.  Ollie saves Roy in the scene depicted in the opening splash page and has NO intention of letting Roy ever forget it.

"It would be a THIRD chance, you see, because your SECOND chance is the one I, Green Arrow, gave you by saving your life, when you messed up your FIRST chance."
"Yeah. I get it. Thanks, G.A. You're my hero."

With no aqualung arrows of their own as backup, the gargoyles succumb to Green Arrow. Or, at least, to all the gas.  

"Yep! Lucky there's nothing serious, because all those dead truck drivers were merely subhuman chattel!"  Never forget that Ollie's a one-percenter.

The three gargoyles may not have very successful in actually pulling off any crimes, but you must admit that these unwilling amateur criminals have made a pretty strong showing in holding their own against the Heroes of Star City.

But what of the REAL villain of the piece, Professor Angel? Well, like Roy & Ollie, we'll have to catch up with him tomorrow...