Hippasus of Metapontum Objects to this Union!

Unsurprisingly, I disagree with this article demanding that DC have Dick "Nightwing" Grayson and Barbara "Batgirl" Gordon get married.

Just get out your '70s MEGO action figures, put Ken and Barbie in the wedding party and marry them yerself, fanboy/girl.

Before I discuss why, a brief aside: do you know who discovered irrational numbers? Most of you will say: I dunno. Most of you who do have an answer will say: Hippasus of Metapontum (and you might add that he was killed by other Pythagoreans for it). And why wouldn't you? If you looked it up on the internet, that's what you'll find, on site after site.  It is, however, not true, and obviously so. 

Iamblichus? Really, now.
Was Rich Johnston not available?

You'll find it on site after site, however, because all the sites are simply getting the information from some other site. No one actually CHECKS.  But when I was asked to settle a bet between two bickering authors on the subject, I checked because none of these sites had actual citations to any ancient source. Basically, the idea that Hippasus discovered irrational numbers is just "common knowledge" that somebody MADE UP at some point in the last 2500 years and everyone decided to accept it without question.

Common knowledge like, "Batman never uses guns."

I am asking YOU not to do that. Not just with Hippasus. With anything.  That's why I rant on in posts about mischaracterizations of the Joker, Penguin, Two-Face, Riddler, and Catwoman.  That's why I criticize people who talk about How Comics Books Used To Be or Always Have Been who've never read a comic book from before they were born.   This is why I insist that to understand any character, you need to read the character's beginnings.  Read the originals, people.  Not necessarily because they are intrinsically good; but because they are true.  They are not "interpretations" of the character/story; they are the character/story.  Everything AFTER is an interpretation.

Myths deserve varying interpretations; it makes them versatile.
But one must never lose sight of the baseline.

I remember BEFORE Dick and Babs were associated romantically, so for me that is their baseline. I remember reading Batman Family in the 1970s when, since they were now portrayed as older (he was a college student and she was a freaking congressmember), writers felt free to have them start flirting with each other.  

I would LOVE to see this happen during a congressional debate:
"What my attractive colleague has failed to take into consideration is: *MMF!*".

It was all very Swinging Seventies, don't you know. But it was portrayed as adolescent foolishness. Because it WAS.

As stupid as the Bronze Age was, at least IT knew that marrying them was a dumb idea.

A lot of younger readers, however, grew up only with the idea that there was an inevitable romantic bond between the two characters. You can hear in in the article I cited to at the beginning of this post. The idea that they belong together is simply received wisdom, just like the 'fact' that Hippasus discovered irrational numbers, that no one should question.

Well, I do. I oppose Dick Grayson and Barbara Gordon's relationship; always have. The ONLY reason I tend to swallow my objections is that I know it's the main obstacle to the worse alternative: Dick and Starfire.

Starfire is everything wrong with how straight men objectify women.

It's a fan-driven relationship.

If Dick being with Starfire is every fanboy's fantasy, then Dick being with Barbara is every fangirl's fantasy.* *(straight fans, that is). I happen to be of the school that "fan service" isn't the right basis for any character's romantic relationship.

I can't imagine why I feel that way.

Just as iconic heroes deserve their own custom-made cities designed as theirs, so too they deserve romantic interests that are designed for that purpose.  Mind you, that doesn't mean that those characters need to be perfect partners (or even GOOD ones).

GOD KNOWS.

But they should be at least be 'custom built' for the hero, rather than just slapping an "S.O." label on whatever other lesser hero of the appropriate sex happens to be most frequently handy.

Heroes deserve to have people who love them and support them for their real, civilian selves.  What they do not deserve is to be used as reader-proxies for cos-play fantasies about spandex-on-spandex sex.  

Dick Grayson was introduced as the Sensational Character Find of 1940 to give kids someone to identify with. In a sense, he's the original audience-substitute character. Maybe I shouldn't be surprised that we'll still treating him as one 82 years later, but I'm nevertheless saddened by it.

It's an intrafamily relationship.

Their relationship growing up was quasi-familial. It's ain't called the Bat-Family for nothing.  So it's creepy. 

I mean, not "Barry & Iris" level creepy.
But still creepy.

And before you defend it and tell me it isn't... know that as soon as you do, I will ask whether you'd do the same if it were TIM DRAKE instead of Barbara Gordon.  Because Tim Drake and Barbara Gordon are now both portrayed as being roughly in their college years; essentially, the same age. 

Freckles? Really, now.  
Does she have Girl Scout Cookies in her utility belt, too?

The entire history of their relationship is in this context.  It's not like they, you know, met somewhere and developed an interest in each and had to make a conscious, mutual stated effort to establish a positively defined dating relationship. I know they've had SEX, but I don't know that they've ever had a DATE.  

It's hard to tell. From OUR perspective, it feels like they've know each other since... 1967.  So to some readers maybe it feels like it's "about time they get married!". But from an in-universe perspective, that's insane.  They are in their early 20s and have known each for maybe seven years. I'll admit that's a long time at that age but...they have been VERY BUSY PEOPLE during that time.

It's a work relationship.

They work together. That's a terrible basis for a relationship.  It's not just the same profession (crimefighter) but in the very same "office".  What they both obviously need--and deserve--is someone outside of that who can ground them outside of that.  Of course the obvious counter to this is: Lois and Clark work together!

And we all know how healthy THAT relationship historically is.

It's a relationship of convenience.

The whole thing is fetid.   It's lazy of the characters. It's lazy of writers. It's lazy of fans. It undercuts them each as characters.  If Batgirl marries Nightwing, it's pretty much an admission that DC's done trying to grow her character on her own. She's not going to be the centerpiece of her own dynasty anymore; she's just going to be part of Nightwing's because (awesome though she is) he is and always will be a higher-watt character than she.  She will have been Black Canaried, another potentially great iconic female hero who's been permanently hobbled by romantic links to a more iconic partner.  

KNEEL BEFORE CLOD.

Respect the characters. Respect yourselves. Stop pushing for Dick Grayson to marry Barbara Gordon.

Bat-theater and Super-Circus

Comparisons of Batman and Superman are a staple of “comic book literary analysis”. While only the comicscenti can consider, say, the measureless variety of the glory of VIBE, almost anyone who lives within a 100 miles of toilet paper can talk about some of the differences between Batman and Superman.

And about 50 percent of them DO. If I had dollar for every time I’ve read a newspaper article explain that Batman is the archetype for all non-“powered” heroes and Superman the archetype for all “powered” heroes, and every time someone has shared with me the “Gotham=NYC by day/Metropolis=NYC by night” observation, I’d be using the interest my fortune generated to run a personal MegaMillions lottery, every week.

Still, just as “every issue is someone’s first”, every person must discover the Batman/Superman dichotomy for himself, and so it’s an issue that always bears re-examination. My observation today certainly stems from all the regular contrasts between the two World’s Finest, but it’s still one I’ve never heard anyone make in quite this form:

Batman is the theater;
Superman is the circus.

Batman’s professional theatricality is well-known. His origin included pondering what costume he should wear for a frightening appearance. His “disappearing act”, that he uses on even his closest allies. The needlessly dramatic Bat-Signal. As Ra’s Al-Ghul says in the current Batman film trilogy, “I see you took my advice about theatricality a bit... literally!" Batman is a stage performer, waiting in the wings, timing his entrances, and even taking a bow. Like any actor, he is essentially a regular person, who makes himself extraordinary through his dramatic role in a plot, usually as the protagonist against an equally threatening antagonist. And, just like the theater, a Batman story is generally a night-time affair. Anyone else remember where Bruce's parents were right before they were killed...?

If Batman is theatrical, then Superman is circensic (that’s “circus-y” for you less Latinate types). It’s no coincidence that his costume is based on that of a contemporary circus performer; Superman is, at his most basic, a circus strong-man.



He can lift things that you cannot. Like the magic mentalist, he can “see through solid walls”. Like the aerialist, he can fly through the air with the greatest of ease. Although, Superman wears a costume, he’s not wearing to scare you or even to impress you; he’s wearing it to signal “I’m working now.” Like the circus performer, Superman’s attraction is really just What He Can Do That You Can’t. He is NOT an ordinary person, and his extraordinary deeds don’t really require a plot at all. Not surprising, then, that the Superman’s ringmasters – writers – often don’t feel a strong need to build a plot around him; some breezy persiflage that draws attention to the incredibility of what he’s about to do is sometimes all you’ll get. That’s a lot harder for the “directors” of Batman’s plays to get away with.



Like Batman, Batman’s villains lurk in the wings of Gotham preparing to make a dramatic entrance, followed by a quick exit, lest the curtain fall on them at the Act’s end. As characters, they are not aware of the audience, only of the other actors in the play. Most of what Batman does isn’t seen by the citizens of Gotham, just by us from beyond the Fourth Wall. Most of what Superman does IS seen by the public; that’s almost the point. Superman foes, they usually just burst into the center ring of Metropolis (or high above it), in broad daylight. They are well aware of their audience: the gawking spectators below, yelling, “Look! Up in the sky!”



And the Man of Steel, with little other prologue needed, leaps into the ring to accomplish the superhero equivalent of bending the steel bar, pulling the locomotive with his teeth, or lifting the elephant.



Since the only thing required for his act is a Great Feat That Needs Accomplished, the ringmaster often does away with even an antagonist for Superman. He’s just as likely to be dealing with a natural disaster or technological accident as with a real “villain”. That almost never happens with Batman; people don’t watch theater to see actors fight forest fires, they want to see characters in personal and ideological conflict with one another. Small wonder that Superman’s villains are generally considered less developed, motivated, and compelling than Batman’s.



I have mentioned in a previous post that in the Fleischer cartoon, Superman never talks; he is man of Action, just like a circus performer. Batman, however, as a stage actor, needs to talk; heck, what do you think Robin was really for? To give Batman someone to talk to about the plot.

Superman’s supporting cast includes, essentially, other ring-performers (Supergirl,-dog,-monkey,-horse, -cat,-boy) and “ringmasters” (that is, reporters, whose job is mostly to point at other people doing stuff: “Hey, look! Another great Superman story for the front page!”). Batman’s supporting cast includes a former actor (Alfred) and the police’s media frontman (Gordon). And…

Robin, the Boy Wonder. Which helps us realize why Dick Grayson, circus aerialist, was the glue that held the World’s Finest team together. Dick Grayson is the intersection of Batman’s theatrical approach and Superman’s circensic approach. And in fact numerous comic book stories have made the point that Robin/Nightwing is kind of the intellectual offspring of both Batman and Superman’s approach to things. If the New52’s Dick Grayson could be written always with that in mind, combining the best of both world’s finest, Nightwing could become a breakout star of the reboot.

The United Underworld Strikes!

by Scipio Garling
Gotham City, The Gotham Times
(Multiversal Press Association)

The United Underworld has pulled off the seemingly impossible with an across-the-board attack on the line of Batman titles, leaving three dead and two wounded.

Dan Didio, Grant Morrison, Fabian Nicienza, and Peter Tomasi (see photo at left), have cancelled the Nightwing series, the Robin series, and the Birds of Prey series, all staples of the Batman editorial line. Each of these titles stars one of Batman historically principal in-family allies, Dick "Nightwing" Grayson, Tim "Robin" Drake, and Barbara "Batgirl/Oracle" Gordon.

Meanwhile, in another part of Gotham City, the incomprehensibly puzzling writing of Grant Morrison (see photo at right) has incapacitated the two main Batman titles, Batman and Detective Comics, possible killing their star, and leaving even long-time readers riddled with doubt.

Also crippled by the attack were Batfamily members Spoiler and the Huntress, hard-luck cult favorite Manhunter, women's issues pioneer Zinda Blake, and a host of supporting characters and secondary villains.

Reaction to the attack has been mixed.

"Zis obzezhion vit ze Batman is unhealt'y," opined local psychologist H. Strange (see photo at left). "It is a vise move to cripple ze Batman lines at zis time, particularly as his rezent zinematic zuzesses have led to an overzealous popularity vit zis character among ze masses." Strange posited that the changes may, in fact, be good for the Batman family in the longer run. "Vhatever does not kill, it makes stronger. New birt' comes vit pain. Pain unt zuffering vill make ze Batman strong, even stronger. Pain like ze lashing of ze vhip! Suffering like zat of the characters and readers of All-Star Batman und Robin!"

Another interviewee, who wished to remain anonymous and identified himself only as "a Stranger" to Gotham (see photo at right), voiced the concerns of many. "For years, the Batman and his allies have used darkness as a weapon; but now a greater darkness has descended upon them and upon us all! Seek solace in friends and band together against the lowering storm. I cannot join you, for I must remain.... a stranger. Otherwise, my sexual orientation would become too public."

The Gotham Times wants to know YOUR opinion. Please contact our Letters to the Editor Column below.

The Rise of Nightwing

Well, I think we finally have the Nightwing we've all been waiting for.

At least, in Heroclix.

There's already been a Nightwing Heroclix figure; it was in the first DC set. But in the first set Heroclix designers didn't quite have the hang of how to use the dials and the mechanics of the game to represent comic book characters.

The original figure did do some cool things, particularly his double incapacitate, which allowed him to paralyze two opponents with one attack. But, like many early figures, he had a glass jaw and very little utility in his lower dial.

Naturally, this did not please the Wingnut crowd, and they've been clamoring in vain for a new Nightwing in each subsequent DC set. They've had no luck and had to stand by and watch Wizkids put out the Vampire Batman, Batman With Kryptonite Gloves, the Golden Age Batman, Kingdom Come Batman, Parachuting Batman, Batman One Million, and Batman&Robin. Even worse, they've had to stand by like ill-coutured bridesmaids as Wizkids, rather than making a new Nightwing, wasted slots on figures like Lady Shiva, two Starfires, the Human Defense Corps, Kobra, Maxima, Rocket Red, Jade, Jinx, Hyena, Azrael, the Shining Knight, Black Mask, Katana, Vixen, Alloy, Copperhed, Aztek, Firehawk, Merlin, Zauriel...

and Geo-Force. Shudder. I mean, Geo-Force; really.

But for the Wingnuts, the sun has now risen! I can't imagine how many of these little boys'll be under Devin Greyson's pillows. So to speak.

Dual Membership Nightwing can use the Outsiders and Titans team abilities and possesses the Outsiders and Titans team symbols.

Nightwing can divide his time among all those teams for the first three slots of his dial, when he also has another special power to give him some mobility and protection:

Acrobat Nightwing can use Combat Reflexes, Energy Shield/Deflection, and Leap/Climb.

That’s a +2 to his defense against both ranged and close combat attacks, and even if the power is countered by an opponent’s Outwit, his defense values remain solid. Pair that with a 6 range for his BATARANGS (Incapacitate) and Leadership on his opening slot, and he’s ready to lead his allies into battle and set up his opponents for his friends’ attacks.

Past his opening slot, Nightwing provides cover for himself and his allies using SMOKE PELLETS (Smoke Cloud) and can tweak combat values as needed, since he was TRAINED BY THE BAT (Perplex).

Deeper in his dial, Nightwing’s combat values remain steady—with his defense value even climbing back up (still buffered by Combat Reflexes!) as he gets his second wind and his final special power:

Fisticuffs Nightwing can use Flurry.

Holy hot stuff! What a great dial! Now, the whole Outsider and Titan abilities thing doesn't thrill me, because I find those abilities dumb and confusing, and the teams they represent don't interest me much either. But his very strong defensive abilities are a great plus and a dial full of Perplex and Outwit makes him a great addition to the Batman Family.

The new Nightwing dial is a perfect example of using the "Special Powers" mechanic to overcome a design flaw in the original set up of the Heroclix dial, that is, the inability to give a figure more than one power in the same place on its dial.

• Wizkids has used to special powers to give Nightwing not one, not two, but three team abilities at the same time.
• One of those is the Batman Ability, which, being equivalent to Stealth, allows Nightwing to have that wicked combo of Stealth (the ability to hide in certain terrain, forcing your opponents to attack you in close combat instead of from a distance) and Leap/Climb (the ability to leap away before an opponent can make a close combat attack!).
• Similarly, "Fisticuffs" lets Nightwing have Flurry, too (the ability to make two close combat attacks against an opponent in the same turn). So, while on a old dial, a figure would have been able to have only one of the three powers Flurry, Leap/Climb, and Stealth, Nightwing has all three at the same time!
• And, of course, "Acrobat" gives Nightwing two defensive powers at the same time (which certainly solves his old "glass jaw" problem!).

With this newly useful Nightwing, look for a return to some classic Batfamily teams, like

1. The wickedly sneaky "Out of the Shadows" Batman (74 points)
2. The new multipurpose Nightwing (79 points)
3. The Batman Team Tim Drake/Robin (42 points).
4. Put the "Flashbang" feat (5 points) that lets a figure use its Smoke Cloud as a free action on any one of these guys (probably Batman, though)!
   

Now, that's 200 points of pure batarang-bopping fun!

Wizkids finally "gets" Nightwing (which is more than I can currently say for DC). Maybe we should have the the Wizkids designers write Nightwing's series, too...?