Things That Made Me Happy...

...in my comics this week.

Much to my surprise this week, I bought five DC comics and actually liked them.

Even BEFORE Dan DiDio was fired.

Matt Fraction's Jimmy Olsen was its delightfully, deepeningly insane self again.  This is not only a great way to write Jimmy Olsen, it's the ONLY way to write Jimmy Olsen. 

If you don't think that's funny, you don't deserve to read comic books.

This week's Aquaman gave us an ailing Mera, squabbling Atlanteans, a new explanation for someone's powers -- all of that's pretty standard BUT we got a baby out of it, so I approve.

"We'll name her... Aqua5G."

I thought the whole "Mera's pregnant/will she miscarry?! Stay tuned, same Aqua-channel!" thing would go on forever as an 'arc'.  But it just... happened. Like things used to happen in normal comic books.  That made me happy.


Meanwhile, in Gotham, things aren't going well because, well, that's how you know it's Gotham.  Bruce is rebuilding Gotham without, apparently, telling anyone what it will look like (which is hilariously unrealistic to me, a Washingtonian); Alfred is still dead again; and Gotham's non-united underworld (Joker, Penguin, Riddler, Catwoman, and, I hope at some point, Two-Face) are caught up in some ancient plot they once had which is starting to blow up in their faces and it has something to do with this guy:

Not certain; pretty sure he fought the Doom Patrol, though.

This is "The Designer" *snicker*, who apparently got caught flat-flooted by a last-minute invitation to the Villain Cotillion and had to cobble together a costume by breaking into the prop room at the community theater.  

JUST to hammer home the Doom Patrol joke, you understand.

Now, any well-read Batman fan will realize this is just a combination of Alan Grant's "Destroyer" storyline from 1992 and the Mike W. Barr's "Paul Sloane" storyline from 1987. But 20+ years is enough time passing to make a redux acceptable. Is this story so far any good? Probably not, but at least it's good FUN.  And it acknowledges that Catwoman used to be a MAJOR VILLAIN, rather than just Batman's moll. That made me happy. 

By the way, DC: stop "de-clawing' all the DCU's greatest female villains (e.g. Catwoman, Harley Quin, Poison Ivy) to make them into faux-edgy anti-heroes.  It's both tedious and sexist.

Meanwhile, in Justice League, Robert Venditti effortlessly accomplishes the sine qua non for any JLA story (which most JLA stories sorely lack): a credible threat that makes sense based on the existing universe.  The Eradicator backed by lead-immune Daxamites wants to use them to make Earth the new Krypton by eradicating humans. That's simple, clear, sensible (in a supervillain way) and an unquestionably JL-level threat.  

Polite Superman is the best Superman.

Flash not being honest with his teammates about his current power issues is stupid and out of character, but, um, somehow Dan DiDio is to blame, so I'll overlook it for now.

Speaking of Dan DiDio being to blame, this issue of Brian Bendis's Legion of Super-Heroes was... not completely incomprehensible.  That's an improvement. That made me happy.  Sure, the Interlac is still more comprehensible than everything else but Bendis is laying a fairly solid foundation that his successors (may they come soon) can built on top so that we can ignore his work. I'm all for that.  

Perhaps Bendis should be barred from English and confined to Interlac.

Seriously, while Bendis's dialog remains superhumanly annoying, the plot elements seem solid. Origins for each of the three Legion founders, origin of the Legion, an RJ Brande who doesn't look like the Monopoly guy; all this will work going forward. When someone else is writing Legion.  What he's doing will need to be done better later by someone else, but it won't need to be UN-done.  

Except for Rose/Thorn. That's just silly.

Jimmy Foal-son

I don't know about you, but Whinny Olsen was EXACTLY what I needed today.
Thank you, Matt Fraction (and comics in general).

Superman Comes Out

My reaction to Clark Kent revealing to his roommate and colleague, Jimmy Olsen, his secret identity as Superman?

Well, it's about time.

Golden and Silver Age Superman was a pretty lonely guy, with no one who knew his secret and no one to confide in.  Although the Golden Age Superman was too manly too discuss it out loud. Or care, really.

Pictured: FREEZE BREATH

It's the reason that whenever you think of a DC hero pondering his situation via thought-balloon, you almost invariably are thinking of Superman. Batman talked to Robin and Alfred and that old police guy with the mustache.  Wonder Woman talked to Etta and the Holliday Girls and her mother and the Amazons and, well, Wonder Woman never shut up, basically.

About bondage, mostly

Superman had no one to talk to, so readers were shown his inner monologue a lot.

*choke*!

This contributed, by the way, to  his tendency more than his colleagues to break the fourth wall; with no one to talk to, he talked to us.

"Instead, send that money to the Superman Super-Fan Club, to fund our campaign to put my face on the quarter!"

You seldom caught Batman talking to the reader.

Except in a Superman story. P.S. Superwoman's a dick.

In case you never thought about it, it's also one of the reasons the Batman/Superman friendship was so important in the Silver Age; Batman was the only person Superman had to talk to (because who wants to talk to Supergirl?)

Hey, Rob; ixnay on the Upermansay, okay?

One of the most important changes John Byrne made for DC when they rebooted Superman after the Crisis was to have his parents still be alive. Many of today's readers were raised with the idea of the Kents as living touchstones of Superman's humanity and morality.  But since Superman's re-reboot in the Latest Crisis, his parents have been dead; they died in a car crash, a solid reminder to readers that Superman can't be everywhere and fix all problems (and that not all problems are caused by supervillains or long-dormant diseases embedded in buried pirate treasure).

Venal, greedy Martha! Killed by your own dreams of avarice, just like in some "Twilight Zone" episode.
You had it coming, lady.

In the Silver Age, Jimmy Olsen was Superman's Pal-- Superman who lied to him every day of his life.  And for no reason, really.  The stated reason that Superman never confined to anyone who he was is that doing so might endanger their lives.  C'mon, Jimmy's life was already in constant danger from being Superman's Pal.  How could anyone's life be MORE in danger than Jimmy Olsen's?!

Never a dull moment, eh, Lucy?

No one has known quite what to do with Jimmy Olsen since Crisis.  Heck, it's easy to make a case that no one knew what to do with Jimmy Olsen BEFORE the Crisis; that's why he was always being made to swallow noxious foreign substances with bizarre results.  Like Jack Kirby.

Clark's reveal to Jimmy takes two problems and turns them into one solution.  It gives Clark someone to relate to as BOTH Clark and Superman who knows his secret, and gives Jimmy and actual narrative function in Superman fiction.

The Set of a 1000 Olsens!

You know, I was just kidding the other day when I said you could probably make of entire Heroclix set of nothing by Jimmy Olsen figures.

But, in fact, if you dig through all those crazy Silver Age Jimmy Olsen stories, you can. Including extras for Chase Figures.

1. Dick Hunter, Elevator Boy
2. The Bird-Boy of Metropolis
3. Invisible Jimmy Olsen
4. The Human Porcupine
5. Evil Twin Jimmy
6. Big Jimmy
7. The Boy of 100 Faces
8. Giant Turtle Man
9. Superyouth
10. Fat Olsen
11. The Super Nose for News
12. The Gorilla Reporter
13. The Mad Hatter of Metropolis
14. Jimmy Olsen, Mobster's Moll
15. Bearded Olsen
16. Jaxx 4928
17. The Human Octopus
18. The Olsen Experiment (The Human A-Bomb)
19. The Merman of Metropolis
20. Viking Olsen
21. Jimmy in Drag
22. The Boy Witch Doctor
23. Jimmy the Imp
24. TNT Olsen, Boxer
25. Jungle Jimmy
26. Heavyweight Olsen
27. Jimmy Olsen, Super-Brain
28. The Red-Haired Beatle of 1000 BC
29. Mr. Action
30. Jimmy Olsen, Circus Clown
31. Nine-Lives Olsen
32. Helmet of Hate Olsen
33. The Wolf-Man of Metropolis
34. Anti-Grav Olsen
35. Lucky Turban Olsen
36. Jimmy Olsen, Human Balloon
37. Rock'N'R'Olsen
38. Jimmy Olsen, Speed Demon
39. Bizarro Jimmy Olsen
40. Greenbeard Olsen the Pirate
41. The Dragon Delinquent
42. Elastic Lad
43. The Boy Millionaire
44. Jimmy Olsen, Crooner
45. The Human Skyscraper
46. Jupiter Olsen
47. Wonder Lad
48. Jimmy Olsen, Leader of the Hairies
49. Agent Double Five
50. Nazi Jimmy
51. The Radioactive Boy
52. Genie Olsen
53. Jimmy Olsen, Cub Inventor
54. Robot Jimmy Olsen
55. The King of Doraynia
56. Flamebird
57. Private Olsen
58. Quick-Gun Olsen
59. Atlas Olsen
60. X-Ray Specs Olsen
61. Jimmy the Hippie
62. Jimmy Olsen DNAlien
63. Aqua-Jimmy
64. The Human Geiger Counter
65. The Colossus of Metropolis
66. Ultra-Olsen
67. The Human Flame-Thrower
68. Jockey Jimmy Olsen
69. The Pal of Steel

And that doesn't even include Jimmy Olsen Fan Club Members as generics. In this set I can easily see figures with Stealth, Hypersonic Speed, Aquatic, CCE, Transporter, Invulernability, Imperviousness, Toughness, Giant, Flight, Supersenses, Outwit, RCE, Super-strength, Mastermind, Plasticity, Shape Change, Probability Control, BCF, Charge, Pulse Wave, Poison, Flurry, Defend, aw, heck every Heroclix power you can think of, plus some special powers. And Perplex. Pretty much ANY Jimmy Olsen figure could have Perplex.

Really, now; who wouldn't buy a Set of 1000 Olsens?

The Odd Couple

Most people think that the only comic book theme Neal Hefti ever wrote was the theme to the Batman television show (including its dadaeqsue lyric, 'nananana nananana'; so avant garde, even for the sixities). But he also wrote the lyrics to another well-known television theme. 

Those lyrics, which you've probably never heard (with good reason), are below, and I'm convinced that Hefti had another comic book pair in mind at the time he wrote them. For the record, I'm okay with the "youthful ward" thing; poor boy and rich man, helping each other out. It's okay, it's the way of the world. 

 But ... "boy pals"? No. No, that's just wrong... 

No matter where they go 

They are known as the couple.

They're never seen alone 

So they're known as the couple.

As I've indicated 

They are never quite separated, 

They are peas in a pod. 

Don't you think that it's odd. 

Their habits, I confess 

None can guess with the couple. 

If one says no it's yes 

more or less, with the couple.

But they're laugh-provoking; 

Yet they really don't know they're joking.

Don't you find 

When love is blind 

It's kind of odd.