I have to appreciate that when Speed Saunders bothers to stop to give a name to stories--which doesn't always happen--they aren't really titles so much as they are subtitles. It's not "Red Crescents of Doom: The Killers of Kurdistan", just "The Killers of Kurdistan". Not "The Consul's Chambers: The Persian Jewel Mystery", just "The Persian Jewel Mystery". There's a reason the man is called "Speed", people, he's got six pages, and has no intention of wasting them on literary gift wrapping. His other cases include, by the way, "The Crossbow Mystery", "The Mammoth Mystery", "The Northwoods Mystery", "The Spy Mystery", and "The Railroad Mystery", which contain, respectively, a crossbow, a mammoth, a north woods, a spy, and a railroad. He's an investigator, not a man of mystery.
|Speed must remember not to stare at his date, lest his Judgement Face cause her to confess, faint, or spontaneously combust.|
|The Golden Age is the only place where things happen that would be too far-fetched even on Frasier.|
|"RUBIES?! What's the meaning of this?! I ordered EMERALDS! My god, rubies aren't even IN SEASON."|
|This triptych is almost eerie in its unnatural syncopation. It's like aliens are trying to communicate to us but the only human art form they have ever seen is old comic books; what is it they are trying to say?|
|"I don't like to bother you." Yeesh, what a lickspittle; Speed Saunders has got every authority under his sway like he's Parker Lewis Can't Lose.|
|Speed arriving somewhere other than by direct teleportation.|
|"And, please, make sure to leave out any details, no matter how important they may seem, I simply don't have the time!"|
|It takes a secure woman to wear a giant ganache bonbon her head. Particularly during the Depression.|
|"Here... where we can finally relax and be ourselves beside this corpse still oozing blood from the bullet hole in its skull."|
Next: The Pump, The Gallery, and The Dean.