Saturday, June 06, 2020

The Red Devils of Gayland

This is a subject I've been able to avoid successfully here for 15 years, but now (for Heroclix-related reasons) I can avoid it no longer. It's part of a broader topic of the inferiority of Green Arrow's Rogues Gallery.

And that's from people whose rogues gallery is nothing but guys in monster masks.

The CW solved this by just rummaging through DC's bin of bargain villains dented by Batman.  But you can't do that as easily in Heroclix where Batman villains literally have a sign on them that says "Batman Enemy".  So when you want to expand GA's roster of foes, you switch from bargain-hunting to dumpster diving, which brings us to:


Some people need their asses kicked to get them to Gayland.
Never seen anyone run OUT of Gayland, before, though. 
Must have realized they were wearing white socks with suits.

It begins with a series of "Final Destination" style deaths at the local eponymous amusement park.

PLEASE tell me that's George Beecham's fedora beside him in that pool. 
No self-respecting man would be murdered from a great height without his fedora.

Fortunately, Ollie Queen and his Boy Quiver are in Ollie's bedroom, which is within eyesight distance of Gayland. So to speak.

Try not to think about why Red Vest isn't wearing shoes
and what Ollie is getting dressed FROM.

All of Green Arrow's action -- um, crimefighting action, I mean -- starts with either staring out the window or at the TV.  Remember, the authorities notify Green Arrow he's needed by shooting a flaming arrow signal momentarily across the skyline, which, if he's not staring out the window all the time, he'll miss.

Try not to think about what happens when that lands
or what "Green Arrow is needed" means.

Grabbing his Gayland-peeping binoculars, Ollie sees: a hung man!

Well, of course, he's hung, honey; it's Gayland.

Oh, sorry, I mean to say "hanged". 

Ollie's blond hair dye to arrive...?

Commissioner Nameless gives Ollie a free hand.  So to speak.

Translation: My officers are afraid to enter Gayland,
but you and the boy seem to be dressed for it already.  

I guess it's appropriate that Star City has a nameless, faceless Police Commissioner.  Would YOU want to be known as the man who calls Green Arrow for help?

"That'll never happen again, Number One."

TOMORROW: Speedy ejaculates Green Arrow into an open window.