When last we left Green Arrow & Co., they were puttering around the waterfront in the awesome and highly visible-to-crooks ARROWCRAFT, enjoying the salt air and hoping that their luck would hold out. That is, that they wouldn't run into any pirates and could look forward to an early dinner and cocktails at The Salt Line.
As luck would have it, however, something terrible happens!
|Me, on a shopping trip with my chum.|
An armored car with money-hating drivers is driving through a local trans-riparian tunnel, when...
|Cousin It, old man! Good to see you!|
It's attacked by a TOMATO PASTE AVALANCHE (#nextquartetname)!
Actually, that's water from Star City's West River overhead. Now, if you ask me, the fact that your city's rivers run red with blood or toxic pollution or crimson dinoflagellate luciferin is a WAY bigger problem then the Pirates of Penzance on your periphery, but, hey, I'm not the mayor of Star City. I mean, what kind of idiot would want THAT job?
Anyway, I suppose any number of Star Citizens drown in delicious pasta sauce so that the pirates can get their hours in toward their deep diver certifications.
|Scuba gear surely would have sufficed but, oh yeah, it hadn't been invented yet.|
Robbing stuff underwater was the height (depth?) of cool for Golden Age villains. All the greats did it. The Riddler. Two-Face. The Octopus. Captain, um, whoever this is. Kilg%re? Something like that.
Meanwhile, the boy in red is ECSTATIC to hear that the tunnel has blown up, killing scores of people and giving him the chance for
FLAPJACK. That's Green Arrow's chum's name; how do I keep forgetting that?
|"I"M EVEN DRESSED TO MATCH THE DISASTER!"|
But the pirates are prepared to meet them... armed with TORPEDOES! Which they somehow fire from an ancient sailing ship! Did they use a big archery bow because Star City? I bet they used a big archery bow.
|There's a reason Speedy's not called "The Boy Detective".|
Luckily for him, Ollie is armed with MORE than just impeccable grammar, and an arrow hitting a torpedo is enough to cause
|A TOMATO VOLCANO!|
Oh, well; scratch 'torpedo' off the list of 1001 Ways To Defeat Green Arrow.