It's his party and he''ll laugh if he wants to.

Of all the henchman on the Batman television show, I think the Joker's men had it the worst.

I mean, you'd think working for Cesar Romero's Joker would be sweet.  He makes everything a big fabulous production, he's never in a bad mood, and all above all he believes that the job of being a criminal should be FUN.

And it is. For him.  NOBODY enjoys ANYTHING more than Romero's Joker enjoy just being the Joker. Ye gods, just WATCH IT:



There are no drugs that can do that for you.  Joker is high on LIFE, people.


If you did not laugh at some point during that, you are made of much sterner stuff than I. The part with the red fish always gets me.

But it seems like a different story for his henchmen.  It's like they're the unwilling guests at the Joker's party.  They never seem to laugh or enjoy themselves; they're just sullen background noise.  Whenever the Joker is in the room there is no excess glee to be had; Joker is having ALL POSSIBLE FUN at that moment, and there's none left for you.  If he even notices that, he's vaguely surprised at it and not all at concerned.  If you don't get the joke, it's you loss.

"Hello, tobacconist? Have you, by any chance, 

Prince Albert in a can....?"

And those outfits; ugh!  Even as a tiny gay child I was puzzled that while all the other supercriminals gave their henchfolk nifty matching outfits to wear, the Joker' gave his guys crap.  The outfits don't match, the colors clash badly, and there is nothing thematic about them at all.  Who wears caps with mock turtlenecks under sweater vests?  The Newsboy Legion?  And what's with the blue and red, is this the Superman Revenge Squad?  WTF, Joker?  

I think half the time he's just laughing at how stupid they look.  "These dunderheads will wear anything I tell them to!  I got those outfits from the dumpster behind JCPenny, EhwhoooOOOOYAhHAHAHAHa!"

"I can make anything look good! Enjoy your sweater-vests, my lustre-less lackeys!"

Still, we must remain true to the show.  So in making Joker henchmen tokens for the forthcoming "Batman 1966" Heroclix set, Israeli illustrator Aviv Itzcovitz gives us these (sadly) perfectly accurate renditions (although mercifully sparing us any bright blue and red combos).  For how to use, see this link.

Tutlings

HEAR YE, CITIZENS OF MODERN THEBES!  

YOUR BELOVED MONARCH HAS RETURNED!

ON YOUR KNEES, HELOTS!

Or he will return when the new1960s TV Batman Heroclix set comes out.  This set is the first and only chance to get figures for the "Special Guest Villains" who appeared only on the show and never in comic books.  There's been no word on who's in the set yet, but I guarantee it'll have a King Tut figure, or mine name ain't Amenophis Tufik.  Because what's the point of doing such a set without King Tut, one of the series' most memorable guest-stars?

"*sniff*  I am truly touched.  Really, just ask anyone."

In a show where everyone started at "over the top" and went from there, Victor Buono's variegated and deluded King Tut outdid them all.  Sure, the other supercriminals were vivid portrayals, but Buono's King Tut was larger than life.  Even in his quieter moments (which never lasted more than 40 seconds) he was like an A-bomb that had been dropped on the set.

I have no doubt that when the time came to tear down the Batman sets, they just brought in Victor Buono in his King Tut costume and said, "Okay, Vic, baby, stop holding back! Really let loose this time!"

"The set has been struck as if by the devastating hand of Ra, all-seeing god of the sun.  

Now, sweep up the shards and bring me some potato salad."

Nobody, and I mean nobody, got away with as much as Victor Buono did.  And the character of King Tut gave him the opportunity. Although some other criminals (such as the Joker or the Riddler) were clearly emotionally unusual people, King Tut was the only one who was in fact STARK RAVING MAD and Victor Buono took full advantage of it.  

There is no way she got paid enough for that.

To this day when I watch the show, it's still hard for me to comprehend that Professor William Omaha McElroy and King Tut are the same person, even when I see Buono go from one to the other in the same scene.  

But Tut deserves worshippers, loyal subjects, and royal retainers!  Bring on the Tutlings, courtesy of Israeli illustrator Aviv Irzcovitz:

Penguin Henchmen

One of my hopes for the forthcoming Heroclix set based on the Adam West/ Burt Ward version of Batman from 1960s teevee is that it will entice some people to try Heroclix who never have before.

And no villain is more emblematic of that show as Burgess Meredith's rendition of the Penguin.  Not only was he hilarious and ingenious, but there was no question: Penguin was BOSS.  Watch the 1967 Batman movie; it's quite clear who is running the United Underworld (despite the failure of his exploding shark).  

Forget about the Penguin's rap sheet; Burgess Meredith stole every scene he was in. 

We're sure to get a figure for him in the new set, but if we're going to have the rascally Penguin, we need his fine feathered finks!

I always got the impression that the Penguin's henchmen were among the most professional of their sort and had a good gig.  They got lots of airtime because the Penguin was always up to something.  They got away with occasionally calling the boss "Pengy" and he treated them with a reasonable amount of respect (well, as much respect at the Penguin gives anyone).  He never made them wear anything ridiculous (unlike, say, the Catwoman's gang), they knew how to fence with umbrellas, and they even had their own union of sorts (the Grand Order of Occidental Nighthawks).  

I always got the impression that these G.O.O.N.s managed to get by without the Penguin when he was in prison; the henchmen for the other supercriminals all looked like they just puttered around walking into walls while waiting for the boss to come back.

So, courtesy of Israeli illustrator Aviv Itzcovitz, I present to youthese Fine Feather Finks tokens to use with the new Pengy Heroclix figure when it arrives. For rules on using them see here.

Catwoman Henchmen

As previously mentioned, there's a Heroclix set coming out based on the 1960s' Batman television series.  We don't know yet what's in the set (although it's easy to make some pretty safe bets), but there's little doubt that there'll be a Catwoman figure.

Or that it will be something outrageously sexy in its pose.

But Catwoman deserves those henchmen she used to have, with the adorable little kitty-cat hats.

And so with the artistic help of my favorite Israeli illustrator Aviv Itzcovitz,  I offer you these tokens to use as henchman for her (based on the rules I mentioned here). Enjoy!