Absolute Nonsense

It's the heroes you know and love... but now we've made things DIFFICULT for them! It's grim! It's gritty! They are underdogs! Things are serious!

Oh, if I had a dollar for every time I've heard that, why, I could buy an issue or two of the new "Absolute" line of comics from DC.

Not that I would, mind you.  

From (where else?) "Bleeding Cool":

This is Batman as underdog. Batman as warrior. That's Absolute Batman, the new ongoing series by Scott Snyder and Nick Dragotta. But it's also a reflection of the Absolute Universe continuity as a whole. Where Superman, Wonder Woman and the rest are underdogs, fighting for their survival as well as everything else, because the world they live in is a different one. And far closer to now.

<eyeroll>

How people can take such things seriously I cannot fathom.

I was going to ignore it when I thought it was just a line of comics where some creators could wear dark eye make-up and write the comics they didn't get to in the '90s because they were too young at the time.  You know; a Goth kids club for writers who want to consider themselves "edgy" even though they write comic books.  But today I learned it's an actual "universe" that comes about as a result of ...

wait for it

"Darkseid energy"

Pictured: Darkseid energy.

I could not stop myself from publicly deriding it.  

I feel slightly bad for putting out curmudgeonly posts two days in a row, but, hey, don't blame the weatherman for bad weather, folks.  

Is there really an audience for this sort of stuff? Some, I'm sure; there is an audience for almost everything, no matter how stupid.

Almost.

But I can't help getting the sense that this sort of project is more of a sop to certain CREATORS than to readers.  "Here; here's a sandbox you can play in.  Your fans will buy your stuff there and you can keep your mitts off the real versions of our characters and everyone will be happy."  You know; what we use to call "Elseworlds" before that became a pejorative term designating "imaginary stories" (as opposed to, um, 'non-imaginary stories', I suppose).  

Anyway, (yet another) grim and gritty Batman? Shrug. But .. Absolute Superman? Wonder Woman? Flash? Martin *snort* Manhunter?

I mean, does it get more "underdog" than THAT?!

Gosh, these poor underdogs! I hope they get some help!

This seems like a likely source.

What's your take on this latest "dark, realistic reimagining" of people with bright costumes, capes, and superpowers...?

Somehow, I blame women for this

 What's wrong with comics? Many things. 

Here is one:

I did not click on the linked story. I have no idea what's behind this. I have heard nothing else about "Green Lantern: Dark" other than this blurb.

It is all I need.

Because it lumps "rotten", "grump", and "adorable" into one package. And, to seal the deal, uses Guy Gardner as a point of comparison.

This is one of the things that is wrong with comics.  Giving us characters who are not positive role models. Giving us characters we are supposed to love for their flaws rather than for their virtues.  Giving us cats instead of dogs.  If I want that crap, I'd read Marvel.

Who is the audience for this? I can only assume women, because, frankly, women are used to putting up with MEN, who often SUCK, which some women somehow think is cute.  I don't know any men who are fans of Guy Gardner, for example.  I also don't know any men who are fans of that obnoxious little shit Damian Wayne.  

I don't even know whether the character IS a man.  It may be a woman. I don't care.  

Maybe women don't actually find such characters adorable and it's just what writer and editors THINK they like. I'd love for that to be the case.

Call me rotten and grumpy, if you want. I do not find such characters "adorable" and I'm tired of being told I should.