The Black Dragon versus Johnny Thunder

Last and least sensible, Johnny Thunder.

Unless the other JSAers, Johnny Thunder was never meant to be a serious character. He's just a much less intelligent (and less amusing) version of Maj. Anthony Nelson, with his troublesome wish-granting genie.

Larry Hagman was a brilliant comedian; despite all the pratfalls and absurdity, he made you believe that Tony Nelson was essentially an intelligent, serious, dignified, even boring military guy, who, without his genie, would have a completely hijinx-free life.  Exactly unlike Johnny Thunder.

When you are a comical character, having an all-powerful genie isn't a problem, it's a bootstrap for hijinx.  But when you are suddenly thrown among strong-jawed spandex types, it's a problem.  No matter how powerful Starman, Dr. Fate, or the Spectre may be, Johnny's Thunderbolt can drag them around like a mom taking an child across a busy street.

Thus Johnny (or his Thunderbolt) is often sidelined or used as a framing device.  He will idly wish the JSA could be present at the start or finish of some adventure and, thanks to his wish-granting Thunderbolt, that happens. It is an extremely useful gimmick to the writers. It's absurd, but the limits of Johnny's intelligence and morality (and the strict rules the Thunderbolt must follow) keep him as the comic relief rather than an all-powerful god-king.

The Black Dragon is very much one of those stories, as these panels I omitted earlier show:

"Hurry, Jim, the light's about to change!"

"Here, let me carry you like a one-year old, Doctor."

"Because I'm your mother, that's why!"

"Mom! I can fly by myself!"

"Bath time for you, little man, and no arguments!"

"I think someone needs his nap..."

"I've had with you, mister, we are going home right NOW."

As the final story opens, Johnny is hiding in a garbage can to read his secret assignment.

Even Johnny's embarrassed about being Johnny.

What would possess him to hide in a garbage can?

Johnny must be a Speed Sanders fan.

Anyway, Johnny discovers to his chagrin that his orders are to STAND DOWN because the Black Dragon problem is too important and he's an idiot who would only mess things up.

I would really like to have read how cruelly that message was worded.
Ah, well.

Johnny casually wishes he could prove himself by getting to "the bottom of this business". Naturally, the Thunderbolt simply takes Johnny to Black Dragon's secret headquarters, because the Thunderbolt can do anything he is asked to.

Johnny is, as always, completely unprepared for the ramifications of making a wish, even though this sort of thing happens to him every day.  

Johnny and Thunderbolt's relationship is hampered by serious communication issues.

I will skip most of Johnny's hijinx; just because I had to suffer through them doesn't mean you have to.

Okay, here is one hijink; 
the eighth stolen invention disintegrates Johnn's suspenders, making his pants fall down.
You're welcome.

Then Johnny shows once again that, despite being an idiot, he is staggeringly heroic. When he learns that the Black Dragon is currently threatening death and danger elsewhere, he orders the Thunderbolt to go STOP them, rather than save him.

Johnny is not normal, but in some ways that is to his credit.

Another errant wish, however, results in another hijink, one with disturbing philosophical implications.

Uh-oh...

The Thunderbolt must always grant Johnny's wishes and so...

HE CREATES EXTRA JOHNNY THUNDERS.

This is deeply unsettling.  Do these Johnnys immediately die at the hands of the Black Dragon?  Do they escape and if so, don't they, of necessity, persist until they can sacrfice they lives for the country?  Can they also command the Thunderbolt?  Could Johnny not simply wish multiple JSAs into existence to solve any problem?  The implications are staggering and remain completely unexplored since they are never seen again outside of these two panels.  I am sure Roy Thomas had a script stashed away somewhere about the Johnny Extras, but fortunately it has never seen the light of day.

During this diversion, Thunderbolt goes off to magically stop the Black Dragons (who are going to blow up a factory or some such).

Proof that Thunderbolt could have taken each of the JSAers to their targets immediately.

Meanwhile, the Extra Johnnys are, of course, just as useless as Original Johnny.  So, the original Johnny, captured and about to die a martyr, makes one last wish: that the JSAers could see his heroic sacrifice to know he's not a complete loser.

I mean, Johnny IS a complete loser. But that's not a flaw, it's a feature.
Being a "stupid but heroic loser" is why Johnny didn't simply use the Thunderbolt to rule the world (which, you will remember, was the original plan of the Bahdnisian bandits who captured him at age 7 to gain control of the Thunderbolt).

This wish results in the seven scenes we saw earlier of the Thunderbolt dragging the other JSAers to save Johnny.

Which they do.

Several dragon-beatings later...

"I forget I have an all-powerful genie at my beck and call.
Again!"

The U.S. military rounds up the vanquished Black Dragon members.

In Golden Age comics, they usually made sure to show Regular Joe Authority Figures finalizing the defeat of the enemy. It was important to show that the superheroes were ASSISTING the common man, not REPLACING him.

Everyone files his report with Wonder Woman (because it's not a JSA story without REPORTS) and we learn, again, just how stupid Johnny Thunder is.

It's a metaphor, Johnny; look that up while you're at it.

Well, THAT was a long, torturous and fairly typical Golden Age JSA story.  Although it took us NINE DAYS to slog through it, I still have to give Golden Age writers their due: this was ALL IN ONE COMIC BOOK.  If this tale had been told under modern-style decompressed storytelling, it would have take longer than World War II itself.

Still, if this prompted you to reassess the "classic" nature of Golden Age Justice Society stories, it was worth the effort. Remember, don't believe everything you are told about any piece of literature until you have read it for yourself.