Tuesday, December 24, 2024

Speed Saunders' Mammoth Mystery

"Mammoth" the NOUN, not the adjective.  It's actually pretty minor, as mysteries go.

 Like all great epics, this story begins in mediās rēs; like most Speed Saunders stories, this story begins with Speed doing something ridiculous. Specifically, staring with mystification at a hollow mammoth tusk.


Maybe it's actually a cornucopia on a diet, Speed.

Speed manhandles the tusk, which was the weapon in the death of "Bushland Bill" Mercer, The Explorer.  "I'd like to see the corpse!" Speed demands.

Officer: "Do you hope to spot a clue we missed?"
Speed: "No, I just REALLY like looking at corpses. A lot."

The victim was circus folk, but for some reason the police are investigating the murder anyway.  Must be a slow week in Saunders City.  So Speed examines the body in gory detail.

How about PETA? Madness gives you strength, you know.


So Speed goes to "overtake" the circus with the Strongman already a likely suspect.
"I will simply write down my intention to do so on this paper, which will cause it to happen straightway. Always works for me!"

The next panel (and day), we find Speed a dozen miles away (having borrowed some workwear from his cousin, the farmer Perseverance Saunders) applying for work as a roustabout for the circus, because just solving murders using his infinite power as an Ace Investigator can get a little boring after a while.

I am now really curious to know what FAILING to wash an elephant looks like.

Fortunately, Speed, among his other talents, is an expert pachydermic masseur. He probably learned it while infiltrating PETA in a previous adventure.

If you are wondering why the elephant is wearing a blanket monogrammed with "J", it is unexplained in the story, but I assume the creature's name is "Jumbo".

We will learn the results of Speed's mammoth massage tomorrow, but in the meantime, I urge you to consider why this monstrous figure is not IMMEDIATELY the main suspect:

You KNOW he committed war crimes in Pepperland.



3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Heh, got me with that last bit!

- The Boob Fan #1

Scipio said...

The Blue Meanies would have been great Green Lantern foes.

Bryan L said...

Is a mammoth tusk really a clever way to kill a man, Speed? Seems like the murder weapon would be hard to transport, make it difficult to sneak up on the victim, and, as noted, heavy. I know, I have to wait for the gripping conclusion.