Thursday, August 23, 2012

Shopping with the Shield 5: Check out time!

After saving the folks on the elevator (who were kind of asking for it, really; I mean, the elevator didn't even have an operator, for pete's sake). the Shield captures the racketeers in the store using one of his more amazing powers: tactile-escalator-reversing-telekinesis!

Your guess is as good as mine just what the Shield is actually doing here.  I prefer to imagine him using some sort of magnetic crotch power.

Once the so-called racketeers are corralled, the Shield goes to confront the REAL villain, whom he has deduced, from absolutely no evidence whatsoever, is Store President Stacey!

I can't believe I voted for that guy.

The Shield crushes Stacey with the overwhelming weight of his word balloons, using another one of his amazing powers, super-exposition.

"Wait, you're saying I had people KILLED in my store to lower business, rather than just, say, hiring surly staff or unsellable merchandise? That's ludicrous!"

"Oh my god, I'll confess to anything if you just STOP TALKING!"

But the Store President Stacey's knows the Shield's secret weakness:


The Shield never sees that coming. Even though it happens almost every issue.  Like any store president worth his salt, Stacey has a safe-room wall and a getaway plane just waiting at his disposal.

Gotta love the fact that the Shield leaves a Shield-shaped hole in every wall when he bursts through it, just like Roger Rabbit.

But Store President's getaway plane is no match for the Shields' pointy-toes of justice!

You know, maybe the Shield wasn't lying to Betty about liking women's shoes.  Just a thought.

The Shield really loves stopping planes.

And once it's all said and done and the bad guys turned over to the authorities, the Shield & Co. are rewarded with the most exciting thing one could hope for...

ANOTHER trip to Stacey's! 


Nathan Hall said...

How's the Shield supposed to stop people from hitting those floor buttons?

"OK, put your feet in the air!"

Scipio said...

By crushing their feet with his Point Toes of Justice (tm)!

SallyP said...

By Jove, he IS running with his feet pointed again!

I can see the evil owner wanting to buy up all the stock cheaply, but why would anyone ever want to go shopping at Stacy's again, if there is was a good chance your face would be melted off? I would think that sort of thing would depress business. You can't just put an ad in the newspaper and say that it's safe now, no more face-meltings...and 30%off all shoes!

Bryan L said...

Sally, I suspect the president of Stacey's would simply invite fabulous Betty in for a shopping spree. She would of course be followed by JuJu and her legion of Betty wannabees, and presto! We're back in business!